Chapter seventeen
Rylee
Making a decision.
I t’s been three days since that dinner, and I’ve been a mess. Each morning, I get up, get dressed, and let Bertrand drive me to a job that’s everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’m not even sure I’ll keep.
The team is incredible, and Leon’s especially warm and encouraging. But I haven’t seen Luc since that night. It’s as if he’s giving me the space to decide and weigh his offers. Working for him is already a stretch, but marrying him? Hell, no. The thought alone is enough to make my stomach twist.
I sit at my desk, staring at my computer screen, momentarily lost in thoughts. I can’t marry him, knowing he doesn’t love me and never will.
The memory surfaces unexpectedly, one I’d rather bury.
Sophomore year, the guy I’d had a crush on since forever, finally asked me out. I was so excited that I bought a cute outfit with the money I’d saved from my part-time job. But when I asked my mom for permission, she laughed. “He doesn’t like you, Lily. He just wants to get you into his bed, and pop your cherry, unless you’ve already given that away,” she said in Spanish.
I snuck out anyway, desperate to prove her wrong. But she was right. He only wanted sex, and when I refused, he got upset and disappointed. So, I gave in. I was so desperate to feel wanted. I thought it would make me feel better. Instead, I felt empty, broken, like something inside of me had cracked open. I went home and cried in the bathroom, the pain so sharp I could hardly breathe. And for the first time, I tried to escape it, found one of my mom’s lighter, and hid in the bathroom. I held the flame to my thigh. The burn bit into my skin, and for a few seconds, the pain inside of me was gone.
I try to breathe through the memory just like Dr. Beck, my therapist, taught me. She always says trauma doesn’t disappear. Some days, it’s just a whisper, and others, like today, it’s louder than usual. I haven’t seen her much lately. Things have been better enough to think I didn’t need her anymore. But with everything going well, I will reach out later for a check-in.
Even though Luc’s proposal is an arrangement that would almost guarantee I could gain custody of Luna, I’m afraid my heart won’t know the difference.
My sister won’t tell me what Mom’s boyfriend has done, but I hear the sadness and desperation in her voice. I need to get her out of there. But can she wait another year until I save enough to buy a house? To show the court I’m stable? Would that even be enough?
Maybe it’s time I stop being selfish and set my feelings aside. I can survive a year with Luc, can’t I? If I remind myself every day that this is just an arrangement and it doesn’t mean anything. And if my hormones get the better of me, well, there are plenty of good vibrators out there.
I’m not considering this. There has to be another way.
“Who’s the guy?”
My eyes widen as I follow the voice to the man standing before me. “Leon! You scared the hell out of me.” I press a hand to my chest to still my racing heart.
“My bad, but you were off in la la land there.”
I set my phone down, taking a few seconds to study my breath. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to realize you were probably thinking about someone, and I want all the details.”
I turn my attention back to the screen in front of me, typing at random keys. “I wasn’t daydreaming about anyone.”
Leon snorts. “Sure.”
From the corner of my eyes, I catch the lift of his eyebrow.
“Anyway, I sent you a scheduled calendar with all the important meetings. If there are other things you need me to add, just let me know.”
I nod and open the email he sent me. Will I even be here next month? “Thanks, Leon. You’re the best.”
Leon stands, flashing me his signature grin. “Thank you. Make sure to tell the boss.” He straightens, adjusting his green-and-pink checkered vest. “You coming down for lunch?”
“Let me finish sending this email, and I’ll meet you there.”
“Okay, ciao.” He blows me two invisible kisses.
I laugh as he disappears down the hall.
My attention turns back to the computer. I hit send before closing all my tabs and locking my screen. I’m about to stand to leave when my phone rings.
I pick it up, pressing it to my ear. “Hi, sissy,” I say softly, waiting for her response. But instead, I hear a faint, broken sob on the other end.
I stand, every muscle tensing. “Luna, are you okay? What happened?” My mind races through a hundred possibilities, each one worse than the last.
“It’s Chris,” she whispers. “He hit me again.”
Again?
“What do you mean ‘again,’ Luna?” A cold dread sinks into my stomach. Please don’t tell me he’s been doing this to you. Please, baby .
“I was hanging out with my friend John, that’s it, but he came home mad and… he hit me. Called me all kinds of things,” she chokes out. “It’s not the first time.”
A sharp, nauseating pain clenches my stomach. I can barely breathe past it. “He has no right to touch you. None.” I choke the words out, forcing myself to stay steady. “Where was Mom?”
“She just stood there…” I can practically feel her pain through the phone. “He’s been hitting her, too.”
Tears sting the back of my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
She doesn’t respond, but her silence says enough.
“Listen to me. I’m going to get you out of there, okay? I promise.” Tears slip down my cheeks. “I love you so, so much, Luna. You hear me?”
“I love you, too… Please, please do something.”
“I will, baby. Promise.” The line goes dead, and I stare at my phone, fingers trembling.
This is all my fault.
I dial the number, the one I’ve been avoiding for years.
When she answers, I don’t hold back. “How could you let him hit her? I always knew you were a bad mother, but this—”
“Who the hell do you think you are, calling me a bad mother?” she snaps.
“I don’t care what he does to you, but Luna? No. He doesn’t get to lay his fucking hands on her. Let her come live with me, please.” The words come out fierce, desperate. I know she’ll probably refuse just to spite me. “If you want money, I’ll pay you.”
I hold my breath, hoping there’s some tiny piece left in her that cares enough to say yes.
“Goodbye, Lily.”
“No, don’t you fucking—” The call drops before I can finish the sentence. I cover my mouth to fight down the sob rising in my throat. And then I feel the warmth of his gaze. I turn around, expecting to see his shadow from his office, but he’s standing in front of me, his eyes filled with concern. The second our eyes meet, my body shudders. He closes the distance between us in two steps, pulling me into his arms.
I sob into his chest as he wraps his arms around me. I open my mouth to say something, but my vision blurs and everything darkens.