Chapter 40
Morgan once told me I’d become so desperate that I turned to stalking. I fired back with some arrogant-filled retort about how I didn’t need to ever stoop that low.
I’d officially stooped that low when it came to her.
I’d been stalking Morgan’s Instagram page—we still weren’t following each other—for two weeks. I studied every new photo she posted, from her food and drinks to a selfie of her in that godforsaken skimpy red bikini on some beach while holding what appeared to be a sangria.
Needless to say, I was a goddamn mess.
I’d heard people say before that being in love changes you as a person. And it wasn’t that I didn’t believe that—I’d seen it change people firsthand. However, I always assumed that those feelings needed to be reciprocated in some capacity for that change to take effect.
That wasn’t the case for me.
I missed Morgan.
I missed having her here, but it wasn’t just for the mind-blowing sex.
I missed her backhanded compliments, her snark, her smile.
I missed bantering with her. I missed the way she would bite her lip when her stubborn ass was trying not to laugh.
I missed how her amber eyes sparkled when she found something amusing or was about to fire off some cheap shot she knew would punch a hole right through my ego.
I’d officially become someone I didn’t recognize. I was no longer Wes Callahan, lawyer and bachelor extraordinaire. I was Wes Callahan, lawyer and simping fool.
I hadn’t talked to her since I showed up at her apartment the night before she left two weeks ago. We didn’t ever message each other for shits and giggles. We didn’t talk just to check-in. And I felt it would come off as odd if I randomly reached out to see how she was.
I was still pissed at myself for fumbling with telling her how I felt.
Moments like that made me wish I hadn’t made being single the sole mission of my adult life.
I’d always been able to talk to women. I could flirt and charm them into my bed.
I could tell them how beautiful I thought they were.
I could be upfront and honest about my intentions with whatever happened between us.
Telling one about feelings? Completely foreign.
I was one of those people who could tell friends to just be open and honest when they came to me for advice—why they came to me, considering I’d never had a goddamn relationship in my life, I didn’t know. But following my own advice seemed damn near impossible.
I’d always been a pretty open book…except when it came to Morgan. Hell, I couldn’t even tell myself I had feelings for her until months later. So how was I supposed to tell her?
“Earth to Wes.”
I snapped my gaze over to Lucas. “Sorry. What was that?”
Lucas and Callie chuckled. “The paper,” Gabe said, snatching the trivia response slip from my hands and giving it to the emcee.
“My bad.”
“You seem distracted tonight,” Callie said with a chuckle.
My eyes momentarily shifted to the empty seat usually taken up by Morgan, quick and casual enough to where no one caught it. “I’m fine,” I lied.
Just then, Susan brought over another round of drinks for us. “There you go, gang.”
Callie smiled. “Thanks, Suzie.”
“Hey, I meant to ask,” she said, leaning against Gabe’s chair. “How’s your brother doing?”
We all looked at Gabe, watching him let out a breath as he slowly nodded. “He says he’s okay, but…I don’t know. It’s hard to gauge him when he’s not here for me to look at. I check in with him every few days, though, even if I know it’s bugging him,” he said with a smile.
Susan smiled sympathetically with a pat on his shoulder before moving to another table.
“Has he opened up at all?” Callie asked.
Gabe shook his head. “No. He doesn’t want to talk about it. At least, not with me. Which is fine. I just hope he talks to someone.”
We continued with trivia, staying neck and neck with another team a few tables over from us—they were always so damn obnoxious when they won, so I wanted nothing more than to beat them just to keep their mouths shut.
When we reached the second to last question, Callie’s phone chimed with an incoming video call, and she grinned as she answered. “Mo!”
“Hey, buttercup.”
My heart shot to my throat at the sound of her voice.
“What are you up to? At trivia?”
“How’d you guess?” Callie teased with a chuckle. “How’s Miami?”
“It’s good.”
“How’s the office looking?” Lucas asked as he leaned over to bring himself into view.
“It’s coming along, slowly but surely.”
Gabe grabbed Callie’s hand and turned the screen toward himself. “Hi.”
“Hey, you,” she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
I wanted to see her. To talk to her. But I couldn’t show that without drawing suspicion from the others. Morgan and I wouldn’t willingly say hello to each other like that. At least, they didn’t know we would.
“Hey, Luke, I have someone who wants to say hi to you…”
Callie turned the phone back to him, and a moment later, I watched Lucas grin. “Hey, man.”
“Look at that ugly mug,” a man’s voice sounded through the speaker.
Lucas chuckled. “Yeah, you’re one to talk. How the hell are ya?”
“Good, good. I’m taking your friend here out for some drinks tonight.”
Who the hell is that?
“Yeah?” Lucas smiled. “You keeping an eye on her for us?”
“Of course.”
“Marcelo has been very nice,” Morgan said, and again, I could hear the smile in her voice. “We’ve been out a couple of times for drinks and dinner. And he invited me on a dinner cruise over the weekend. That was fun.”
Marcelo. There was my little green monster friend again. Who the fuck is this guy?
“She’s a good time, this one,” I heard him say. “She fits right in down here with all her sass and spunk.”
Lucas, Callie, and Gabe chuckled. I tensed my jaw, and my hand balled into a fist under the table.
They talked for a few more minutes before Morgan’s voice rang out again. “Okay, we’re getting ready to head inside. I’ll call you soon.”
“Okay,” Callie said. “Have fun. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
When Callie ended the call, I drummed my fingers against the tabletop. “Who, uh…who’s Marcelo?” I asked Lucas, keeping my voice casual.
“A friend of mine from college. His family owns the hotel we set Morgan up in for her stay there. I asked him to keep an eye out on her.”
“Yeah, he sounds like he’s taking that job seriously,” I bit out, but no one seemed to catch onto the annoyance that laced my voice.
“He seems like a good guy,” Callie said.
Lucas nodded. “He is. And he and Morgan seem to be getting along well.”
A little too well…
I was sitting inside Agora on a Friday night, a glass of scotch in my hand as I scoped out the scene. I hadn’t done this in a while. I’d been here, of course, but not going out of my way to look for something. Because I had Morgan to fall back on…but that was no longer the case.
I’d been in my head the past couple of weeks since trivia night.
Hearing Morgan on that call, listening to her talk about going out with another guy and sounding happy about it…
it made me realize that whatever I was feeling was one-sided.
I’d regretted not telling her how I felt before she left, but now I was glad because I knew it would have been met with the rejection I feared that kept me from telling her in the first place.
And it felt pointless to even think about telling her now.
It also had me thinking about things I never thought about before.
If I could feel this way about Morgan—if I could want to have something real with her—maybe I could want to have that with someone else. I would need to put myself out there to see…and maybe that would help me forget about her and my unrequited feelings.
“Hey.”
I looked up to see Lucas. “Hey, man.” I shook his hand. “What are you doing here?”
“I had a meeting over drinks,” he replied as he sat down. “I was on my way out when I saw you.” He glanced around. “Scoping out the scene?” he teased.
“Yeah,” I said with a halfhearted smile. “Something like that…”
“Uh oh…”
“What?”
“You looked more pensive than usual when you said that,” he said with a chuckle. “And it wasn’t said with your usual devious smirk.”
I huffed out a laugh before taking a sip of my drink. “I don’t know. I guess…” I looked around at the crowd. “Maybe I’m looking for more than just a one-night stand or a fling…”
I don’t think I’d ever seen Lucas’s eyes as wide as they did when I said that. “Come again?”
I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”
“No, no, I’m serious.” He grinned. “You, Wes Callahan, are thinking of wanting more than just a passing fling? Like…a real relationship?”
“I don’t know if I’d say a full-on relationship. But…maybe I’m willing to see where something could go.”
“Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my best friend?”
“Fuck off,” I playfully retorted.
Lucas chuckled as he leaned back in his seat. Then his laugh faded as he looked at me thoughtfully. “Okay, in all seriousness, not that it’s a bad thing, but…where is this coming from?”
I blew out a breath. I couldn’t exactly tell him the truth. Well, you see, I’d been secretly fucking Morgan for two years, and I fell for her, but she doesn’t feel the same, so I’m trying to forget her and those stupid feelings. He’d probably fall right out of his seat.
So, I decided on a half-truth. “Honestly, I think seeing you with Callie has a lot to do with it. It’s made me wonder what that would be like…having something like that for myself. Having someone like that in my life…”
Lucas smiled. “It’s certainly not a bad thing. It definitely beats being alone.”
I scoffed through a laugh. “Yeah…”
“I mean, not to get all deep and sentimental, but…you can’t fuck your way out of a lonely heart. Trust me, I know from experience.”
I took a long sip of my drink.
He was right. I couldn’t fuck my way out of a lonely heart. But I sure as hell fucked my way into one.