11. Lily
ELEVEN
LILY
The next morning, I call Annabelle to ask her to cover my shift.
I know Johnny will be pissed, but I don’t have a choice. Susan still isn’t back in town; her sister is in rough shape from the accident, so she’s staying in Phoenix for the week. And while I understand, I don’t really know what to do. I’ve never had a backup plan in place for Chase.
It makes the mom guilt hit hard, flooding through me and getting caught in my chest, making me think of all the ways I should be doing things differently. Making me second-guess every choice I’ve made as a mother.
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.
Johnny will most definitely fire me if I don’t show up for the next week, but there’s no one else around here I trust. And no one that I could afford even if I did.
There’s a loud knock on my front door, and I glance back to where Chase is sleeping for his nap, hoping that the noise doesn’t wake him up.
Who could that be?
The only people who know where I live are Annabelle and Johnny. No one else in this town even cares to ask my name. Swinging the door open, my breath whooshes out of my chest. Alex stands there, towering in the entryway, his arm leaning against the top edge of the frame.
“Wha—” I start to say.
His finger jumps down and presses into my lips. “Shh. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”
My brows scrunch. “But I do want the answer.”
He shakes his head. “You really don’t.”
Brushing by me, he walks inside, stopping in the middle of the living room and glancing around. “I’m here to help.”
“Help what ?”
“You, obviously.” He spins, his hands on his hips. “I don’t want to brag, but I think your son might be a little in love with me, and because I can’t help the charm that oozes from my pores, I guess I’ll have to stick around and keep entertaining him.”
I roll my eyes, my stomach clenching tight. Alex walks over to the couch and sits down.
“No, please, make yourself at home,” I snark.
He smiles. “Do you or do you not need someone to help take care of Chase?”
My brows furrow. “How do you—?” I shake my head. “Well, I do but not you.”
He frowns. “Why not me?”
My muscles tighten. “Um, because I don’t know you? Because it’s super fucking weird that you’re just showing up everywhere I am for the past few weeks, and now suddenly you want to just watch my child? Because you’re a man who I can’t trust?”
Alex’s face falls more with every word, and he sighs, tugging the toothpick out of his mouth. “Annabelle told me where you lived when she was leaving my room…to cover your shift. I just thought you could use the help.”
My stomach curdles knowing that Annabelle gave up my address so easily, and a flash of them together, having pillow talk about my issues, makes my insides pull.
“Oh.” My shoulders slump.
The corner of his mouth lifts. “Yeah, oh .”
My fingers scratch the inside of my wrist as I walk to the high counter that separates my tiny kitchen from the living space, grabbing a piece of cinnamon gum and popping it in my mouth. “I appreciate you stopping by, Alex, but it’s fine.”
“Okay.” He nods. “So what are you planning to do tomorrow or the next day?”
I cringe.
“Right.” He smacks his knees with his hands as he stands. “That’s what I thought. I’m here. I can do my work from anywhere. Let me help.”
My stomach muscles seize at the thought of trusting him. Of leaving this virtual stranger alone with my toddler.
I shake my head. “I don’t even know you.”
“So get to know me.” His arms raise to the sides.
“What, right now?”
He shrugs. “No time like the present.”
I’m quiet, the cinnamon flavor of the gum singeing my taste buds. “Okay. Where are you from?”
“Originally? Oregon.” His mouth tightens. “Next.”
Oregon? “Where do you live now?”
He grins. “Wherever the wind takes me.”
I scoff. “See? This is my point. You don’t give me anything. It’s like pulling teeth trying to form a complete image of you in my head.”
“Okay, fine. I live in Colorado. But like I told you, I’m here for work. I travel a lot.”
My brow rises. “And what is it you do again?”
He shakes his head. “I’ve already said all I can with that. I sign multiple contracts when I take on clients.”
Blowing out a breath, I attempt to shake off my anxiety and bob my head. “Okay.”
He moves toward me. “Let’s just chill today before you make any decisions.” He keeps walking until he’s directly in front of me, my eyes meeting the space just below his chest.
Jesus, he’s tall.
“Spend some time with me. Let Chase spend some time.”
Glancing at the floor, my tongue swirls around the cinnamon gum, unease chomping at my back. His finger presses under my chin, lifting my face to his, the cool metal of his ring sending a chill down my spine. “I understand you don’t trust me. Honestly, you shouldn’t.”
I huff.
He chuckles. “I just mean it’s smart. It makes you a good mom. But, Lily, what are your other choices?”
Hopelessness stretches across the middle of my chest as I admit to myself that he’s right. I have no options—stuck between a rock and a hard place. I’ve backed myself into a corner by only trusting Susan, because now there’s no one I can call when I need a hand. It’s so incredibly stupid to become dependent on one person when there are so many things that could go wrong.
But I’m always trusting the wrong people.
I exhale, my anxiety ramping higher with every second. “Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you showing up. But as much as you wink and flirt and charm your way into my thoughts, I don’t know you. You’re…mysterious and aloof, and anytime I’ve ever tried to ask you anything , you evade the question, which tells me you’ve got practice in avoiding answers.”
He smirks, his finger moving from under my chin until his entire palm wraps around my jaw. A flare of heat spikes through me at the change in position.
“You’re like a damn politician.”
His smile drops, his body pushing into me harshly. I stumble, the counter digging into my lower back as his hips pin mine.
“Take it back,” he rumbles, his eyes sparking.
“Which part?” I breathe.
He leans his body weight into me farther, and my stomach jumps into my throat. His mouth grazes my ear, his hand squeezing my jaw until it hurts, the smell of leather and birchwood lighting up my senses. An ache settles between my legs from how roughly he’s handling me.
It’s sick, what turns me on.
His head angles down, his nose barely skimming the length of my neck, making goose bumps sprout along my arms. My heart steals my breath from how fast it’s pounding.
“I’m a lot of things, little bird…” His voice vibrates against my skin. “But I am not a politician.”
“O-okay,” I stutter, trying to keep the heat from spreading through me at his touch. At the way his body has me completely immobilized against the counter.
My hands come up to push against him, but he doesn’t budge.
“Say it,” he rasps.
“You’re not a politician,” I whisper.
He’s still for a few long, tortured seconds, his breath puffing out against my throat, before he snaps back, running a hand through his tousled hair.
“Good.” He smiles wide. “I am your new babysitter, though.”
The corner of my mouth twitches as I bite back a grin, attempting to shake off whatever the hell just happened.
This is a terrible idea. I don’t trust him, and I definitely don’t trust myself around him…but he’s right.
I have no other choice.