13. Lily
THIRTEEN
LILY
My chest warms as Chase stuffs his face with chocolate chip pancakes and chocolate milk. He’s about to have a horrible sugar crash, but I don’t even care.
He never gets to enjoy things like this.
I never get to enjoy letting him have things like this.
Gratitude overflows from the tap, soaking into my bones, as once again, this giant, tattooed stranger has barreled into my life and made my kid smile. I don’t know where he came from or why he’s here, but I know at this point, I’m going to let him stay because he just does these things…these incredibly nice things.
“Take a breath, dude.” Alex’s voice filters across the table as he stares at Chase with a disgusted look.
Chase smiles, bits of pancake peeking through his teeth, and Alex cracks a grin, chuckling. “You’re supposed to savor this shi—stuff.”
I scoff. “Kind of rude to assume he isn’t just because he eats them differently than you.”
His eyes sparkle as he looks at me. “He isn’t. I can tell.”
“How’s that?” My stomach flips.
“Because when you savor something, you take your time.” He leans forward, his elbows resting on the table, his eyes branding so deep they sear my soul. “You let it rest on your tongue until all you can see, think… feel is how lucky you are to have it touch your mouth in the first place.”
My heart pounds against my chest, a rush of arousal spreading through my body. I cross my legs under the table, squeezing my thighs to stem the ache. Jesus.
“I’m savowing,” Chase responds. His cheeks bulge from where the food sits, and I giggle, trying to brush off the way Alex just made me feel and focus on my kid instead.
“You can savor all you want, but we don’t talk with our mouth full.”
Chase nods, his face blooming red.
“That’s more like it, my guy,” Alex cuts in. “No need to rush. We’ve got nowhere to be.”
Alex drapes his arm over the back of the booth. I smile as I watch him, taking a sip from my coffee and letting the warmth seep through my hands. This is…nice. “So, how are things with Annabelle?” The question rushes out before I can stop it.
He bites his lip. “Why?”
Because even though I have no reason for it, I hate that you’re together.
“Just curious. You two seemed to hit it off.”
He shrugs. “She’s a nice girl. But she’s just stress relief.”
I nod slowly, sipping from my coffee. “Sounds like something a d-bag would say.”
He smirks. “A d-bag?”
“Yeah.” My eyes slide to Chase and back to him. “Don’t make me say it. You know what it means.”
“I think you may be trying to insult me, little bird. Are you jealous?”
My chest burns.
“Mommy’s a bird?” Chase interrupts.
Alex smiles, his gaze leaving mine. “Your mommy’s a lot of things.” His eyes flicker as he glances around the room, zoning in on something behind us.
And just like that, his entire body stiffens, his face dropping into a hard mask. The sudden change is striking, and as a result my body flies into fight-or-flight mode, the hairs on my arms standing at attention. “What’s wrong?”
His jaw clenches tighter with each second, but he ignores me. Or maybe he doesn’t hear me at all.
I twist around to see what he’s looking at. A TV. What the hell?
“Alex.”
“Don’t call me that,” he snaps.
My brows scrunch, my insides cowering at his tone. “What? That’s your name, weirdo.”
He moves his gaze back to mine, his eyes fogged over.
Something isn’t right.
Without a second thought, I reach my hand across the table to cover his. “Hey…are you okay?”
Suddenly, he shakes himself out of his stupor, pulling back and drawing a toothpick out of his pocket. “I’m just fine, little bird. I’m sorry, you sounded like my mom for a second.” He taps his head. “Flashbacks.”
He grins, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
And I drop it, not wanting to ask.
* * *
Alex never left, and Chase took to him like a duck to water. I can’t decide whether it was because he actually likes him or if he’s been starving for a male role model. Guilt wraps around my throat and squeezes.
“What’s wrong?” Alex’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts, but the feeling stays, simmering in my stomach, threatening to scald everything it touches.
I shake my head, my fingers scratching at my wrist. “Just thinking.”
Pushing the hair off my face, I grab a glass from the cabinet and fill it with tap water. My hand shakes as I bring it to my lips, and the glass slips from my fingers.
Alex’s hand shoots past me and catches it before it smashes on the counter. “Careful.” His voice is low and raspy, the heat from his body skimming across the back of my shoulders.
“Why are you shaking?” His breath tickles my neck.
My mouth parts and my fingers pick at my wrist, trying hard to focus on anything other than the way I feel. The way he makes me feel. His body presses against my back, his hands resting on my shoulders, goose bumps sprouting along my spine. “Lily,” he whispers. “Relax.”
My fingers grip the edge of the counter and I close my eyes, arousal rising through me like a heatwave, scorching my skin. He squeezes and my head drops, the pressure of his hands against my muscles making me groan. It’s been years since someone has touched me. It’s been forever since I’ve actually wanted to be touched.
“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I spin to face him, his hands leaving my shoulders to rest on the cabinets behind my head. The way he cages me in makes my lungs compress. “N-nothing’s wrong.”
He cups my jaw, his thumb brushing against my bottom lip. “This mouth looks pretty when it tells me lies.” His other hand leaves the cabinet, his fingers sweeping across the corner of my eye. “But your eyes show the truth.”
My body is frozen in place, sparks flying off my skin from his touch. I swallow, my heart slamming so hard against my chest, I’m afraid it might break.
He hums, tracing designs along the side of my face. “Are you afraid of me, Lily?”
I should be. I’ve been scared of almost every man in my life at one point or another. But for some reason…I’m not.
“No,” I whisper.
My breath hitches when he moves forward, his body suddenly flush against mine as he pushes me into the counter. His hand moves into my hair, gripping it firmly, dragging my head backward until my back starts to bow. His lips skate across my cheek. “How about a secret for a secret, little bird? Do you want to know something true?”
I attempt to nod, but his hand tightens in my strands, making the roots pull. Tingles flood through me, pooling between my thighs. “Yes,” I breathe.
His mouth moves from my cheek until it’s resting just about mine. “I don’t enjoy kissing. It’s never been my thing.”
My stomach jumps into my throat, my knuckles tight from where I’m gripping the counter.
“But I swear to God, I’d let the world burn if it meant I could taste your lips.”
My heart free-falls into my stomach, my brain waging war against my body. My hands come up to push against his chest, but he doesn’t budge.
He shakes his head. “Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Don’t push me away.” His hips press into mine, the outline of his erection thick and hard against my stomach. “Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you.” He speaks against my lips. “Tell me you don’t feel this.”
I take a deep breath. I do want him to kiss me. The truth is, not many men have. No need for an intimate act like kissing when the person you’re fucking is just a prop.
Pinpricks of energy spark off our breath, drawing us together, begging me to give in. To move forward and let him taste all the ways he makes me feel. But then I remember Annabelle. The one person in my life I can almost consider a friend, and I pull back.
My chest wrings tight, the sad reality of what I almost did making my gut heavy.
“I don’t want you to kiss me.”
Just like that, his touch disappears, and he doesn’t try again for the rest of the night.