43. Lily
FORTY-THREE
LILY
“What do you mean I have thirty days?” Panic grips my throat as I stare at my apartment manager, the eviction notice crumpled in my hand.
“Lily, I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do. The orders came directly from the big boss.”
My stomach drops to the floor. “There has to be something , Alice, please.”
She shakes her head, her lips turning down in the corners. “Honey, you’re three months behind on rent.”
My cheeks flush from the shame that surges forward at her statement. “I know. It’s just…it’s been slower than usual at the diner, and…” I trail off.
I was supposed to be at work fifteen minutes ago, but honestly, I’m having a hard time caring, since without a place to live, there’s really no point. Not to mention that nowhere else is going to rent to someone like me, especially not with an eviction on my record.
My fingers scratch at the scab on my wrist. “I get it, Alice. I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault.”
She smiles, her eyes softening. Her hand reaches out and squeezes my arm. “I really wish there were something I could do, Lily, but you know there isn’t.”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “Thanks anyway.”
Three hours later, and I feel worse than I did before. My stomach is tossing like a ship in stormy waters, and there aren’t enough customers coming in to keep my mind occupied. Still, I serve the ones who do with my biggest smile, hoping my friendliness might solve the issues their one-dollar tips won’t.
“So what’s the plan?” Annabelle asks as we roll silverware in the corner booth.
I groan, resting my forehead against the table. “I have no idea.”
“Well, I’d let you move in with me, but I don’t have enough space for you and a kid.”
Lifting my head, my gaze catches hers, and I smile softly, warmth surrounding the hollow hole in my chest, thankful for her friendship.
The bell above the front door rings, and I twist to look as Chase and Jax walk in. Their faces light up when they see me, and I turn back around, finishing my roll up and moving to stand.
Annabelle’s eyes widen as she takes them in.
“Oh no.” I wag my finger. “They are off -limits.”
Her bottom lip sticks out. “What? Why?” she whines.
“Because that’s my brother.”
She glances back at them. “ That’s your brother?”
I nod, popping my gum. “Yep.”
“His friend looks familiar.” She cocks her head as they reach the table, her eyes sliding down Jax’s frame. “Is he off-limits too?”
“Taken, I’m afraid,” he says, piping up, a blinding smile spreading across his face with a wink.
I roll my eyes at his flirting, wondering what kind of a woman ends up snagging a man like Jackson Rhoades. The two of us were never close—by the time he moved to town, I was already wading through the murky waters of drug abuse, lost in the manipulation of my ex, Darryl.
My stomach curdles, dread racing through my veins at the thought of him.
Chase leans in for a hug. His embrace is strong, and I find myself sinking into his hold, allowing the little bit of comfort in an otherwise cold and unforgiving world.
This has been a shitty week. But I’ve endured a lot of bad days in my life, and comparatively, this one isn’t even close. I have air in my lungs, my baby boy by my side, and for all of the times I’ve been sad over losing Chase, now I have him too.
My chest aches when I think of him leaving, of not knowing when I’ll see him again.
“Thought we’d come and see where you work.” He grins.
Annabelle clears her throat. “Don’t be rude , Lily. Introduce me.”
I smirk. “Annabelle, this is Chase and Jax.”
Her eyes light up in recognition. “ Jax. Jackson Rhoades?”
My eyes narrow, suddenly untrusting of how she knows him. Is everyone in on some big secret?
His smile widens. “That would be me.”
“You’re dating Blakely Donahue!” She points at him. “I knew you looked familiar. Well, shit,” she laughs. “There goes my chances.”
My eyebrows draw in. “Who’s that?”
“She’s my fucking rock is who she is.” Annabelle’s hand goes over her heart. “Her story was featured on the cover of Vogue last month, and the way she’s so open about her eating disorder really…” Her eyes well with tears. “I just appreciate her candor, is all.”
My stomach sinks, wondering what shadows Annabelle hides behind her sunny disposition.
Jax’s smile softens. “She’d be really happy to hear that.”
Annabelle stares for long moments before snapping herself out of it, waving her hand in the air and shaking her head. “Ugh, well, I’ll work for you tonight, obviously . You spend it with your family. You didn’t tell me they were in town.” Her eyes narrow to slits.
Refusal is on the tip of my tongue, about to tell her that I can’t afford to not work the shift, but then I remember I’m about to lose my home anyway, so I might as well spend some time with Chase and Jax while I can. Maybe they can help me think of a solution.
“Okay, thanks.” I turn to face the boys. “You guys hungry?” I ask, leading them toward a booth closer to the front. “Let me finish up and I’ll come join you.”
Plopping down two menus, I force a smile and turn to finish my side work.
It’s thirty minutes later when I finally squeeze into the booth next to Jax.
Jax tilts his head. “All done?”
I smile at him. “Yep.”
He grins, wiping his hands on his napkin. I stare across the table at Chase, who has an unreadable expression on his face, so similar to the ones he used to constantly wear when we were kids.
“Good to see your brooding nature hasn’t changed,” I tease. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“No, I…” He shakes his head, clearing his throat. “How’s your day been?”
It’s a simple question, but it’s one that burns a pathway through my tender insides, like a dragon breathing fire on scorched earth, making sure everything is crumbled to ash.
I pop my gum. “Shitty, to be honest.”
He bobs his head, and something flashes through his eyes, almost like he knew that would be my answer. My stomach twists, the reality of my situation stringing me up like Christmas lights, heartbreak and homelessness flashing for the world to see. I hate having my problems so glaringly on display.
I drum my fingers on the table, resisting the urge to scratch at my wrist. “I got an eviction notice on the door this morning.”
Jax takes a drink of his water, and Chase shifts in his seat before leaning forward and pushing his plate away. “What are you gonna do?”
Their reaction is lackluster, but maybe they assumed my life was shit anyway, and so this isn’t a big surprise.
“I really have no fucking clue.” I chuckle. “I’ve always tried to do my best, you know? Believe it or not, I’ve worked hard to get here.” My throat swells. “ So hard. And now…” I lift my shoulders in defeat.
Chase leans against the booth. “You can always come back with us.”
I consider it for a moment, but then memories of what else is in Tennessee hit me like a freight train, the force as strong as the memory of fists striking against my bones.
I can’t go back.
If I do, then I’ll be less than thirty minutes away from a man who I’d rather die than see again. From a man who kept me beaten and bruised, doped up and hidden from the world.
If I go back, then I’ll have to face Darryl.
Chase’s father.
But with no home and no viable options, I don’t know if I have any other choice.
* * *
“You like Spider-Man?”
I take a sip of water, washing down the hint of cinnamon flavor left over from my gum. Chase and Jax are both in the living room, listening intently as baby Chase explains how to play Spider-Man. It makes my glued-together heart twist, the tattered edges fraying because this is something Alex and he always played. But then again, everything seems to remind me of Alex. Mason. Whatever his name is .
A sharp pain spears through my chest.
“No, cawwy me on the walls, like this!” Chase squeals, picking up his Spider-Man stuffy and placing it against the wall, then soaring it into the air.
“He likes to pretend he can stick to the walls and then swing by his web to the next spot,” I jump in, trying to help explain. “Like Spider-Man.”
Baby Chase nods. “Yeah, like Awex does.”
My insides ache, anger welling up inside of me, for A— Mason to have the fucking audacity to come into my life and make my child fall in love with him.
Breaking my heart is one thing. Hurting the reason for my existence is quite another.
The landline phone rings and I head to the kitchen to answer it, the giggles floating from the living room making a small smile break across my face. Warmth kindles in the center of my chest, fighting against the icy storm of heartbreak that’s freezing me from the inside out.
“Hello?”
“Lily,” Derek breathes down the line. “Sorry I missed your call.”
“Yeah, I just…” I bite my cheek, trying to stem the sudden flow of tears that want to break free. Get it together, Lily. You’re stronger than this. “I’m being evicted.”
“What?” His voice is harsh, like he’s just as surprised as I was. “Why?”
I cringe, not wanting to tell him. “I’ve been a little behind on rent for a few months.”
“Lily—”
“But it’s never been an issue before,” I rush out. “And I always pay the late fees. I just…” Swallowing, I glance into the living room, watching my baby boy swing from the walls in the arms of his uncle.
My chest burns.
“You should have called and told me you needed help.”
“I didn’t want to be a burden.”
He sighs. “You never are.”
I pause, pinching the bridge between my nose “There’s more.”
And then I lay it all out. I tell him everything about Mason , everything about my brother, and all the ways I’m confused and broken and have no idea what to do. Derek is the only person who knows everything about Darryl, and no one knows about Derek, which is why he’s always been my safe space.
I’m surprised when he tells me he thinks I should consider going back to Tennessee.
“What? I couldn’t…” Sharp pains shoot across my sternum from the thought, my nightmares coming to haunt me, reminding me of everything that could happen.
“Look,” he croons. “I know it’s scary, and it’s not ideal, but…you’d be in Sugarlake. With family. Tell ’em about Darryl and they can help protect you.”
My heart stutters. “It’s not that simple.”
“Life never is, Lily. What else are you gonna do? Move place to place, hopin’ you can somehow make it work on your own?”
The muscles in my jaw strain. “It’s worked for me so far.”
“Aren’t you tired of runnin’ yet? Go home. Let the people who love you help you.”
Fear swirls in my gut, the urge to shut it down raging through me. But then I hear a shriek from the living room and peer around the corner, the words stalling on the back of my tongue. My baby boy’s smile is blinding, but it’s my brother who steals my breath. He’s laughing, his eyes gazing at my son like he’s the greatest gift in the world.
My chest pulls tight.
My baby deserves a family.
I ignore the sick feeling whipping through my middle, my fingers clenching the phone so tight I’m afraid it may break. “Okay.” I nod. “Guess I’m going home.”