Chapter 53
Seph
“Seph.”
I dragged myself toward consciousness, slow and reluctant, clawing for the thin light seeping through my eyelids.
That voice.
It hit me with its familiarity, sharp and sudden, like a bruise being pressed.
Am I still dreaming?
My body felt heavy beneath me, pinned by exhaustion. The bed sheets were warm. Clean. Dry against my skin in a way that didn’t make sense.
I shifted, fighting the fog pressing down on my thoughts.
“It’s okay,” the voice said softly. “I’m here.”
My breath caught.
That wasn’t relief.
It was dread.
Because I knew that voice.
I forced my eyes open.
And there she was.
“Sable.” I whispered.
My sister sat across from me, dressed in a simple grey shift. Her blonde hair was tied back in a braid.
She gave me a watery smile.
“Hey little Sis.”
“Am I … am I dead?”
She laughed, her voice like music in the silence. “No Seph. You’re ok. You’re at Elliot’s compound. In Moorshire.”
“Moorshire?”
I looked around the unfamiliar room. The walls were a light yellow, with a large window across from the bed on which I lay. The window was open and a light breeze moved through intentionally, like it was seeking me.
“Ash,” I whispered. “Where is Ash? And Dev?”
“Elliot and I finally convinced them to eat. They have been sitting beside you for two days. The big one too.”
“Sy,” I whispered.
Sable smiled wryly. “You’ve certainly made some interesting friends.”
I lay back on the bed and thought about that, a small smile on my face.
I touched my lips.
“They are really… they are really special to me.”
“Kieran has also been here,” Sable said carefully. “When he can. Mostly he’s been sitting with Father.”
Something cold slid through me.
I looked at her.
“He knew,” I said slowly. “Kieran knew you were alive.”
Sable’s gaze dropped to her hands. She folded them in her lap, neat and controlled.
“Yes.”
I felt like an idiot.
“And he didn’t tell me.”
“He couldn’t Seph. It’s not his fault.”
“He couldn’t,” I said, my voice flat.
“No.”
The sting came late, sharp and precise. “Sure. Why would he? It’s not like he hasn’t lied to me for years.”
The taste in my mouth was unfamiliar. Bitter.
“It had to happen that way,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
I stared at her.
“I watched you die,” I said. My voice shook. “They shot you. Over and over.” My fingers curled into the blankets, claws of white knuckle and breath. “They locked me up. First in a holding cell. Then—”
I broke off, choking.
Sable straightened.
“I didn’t plan it like that,” she said. “But when the opportunity came, I took it.”
“For what?” I whispered.
“To end it,” she said simply. “For both of us.”
Her eyes met mine then — steady. Resolved.
“I won’t let you live like that again, Seph,” she said. “Not even if you hate me for it.”
I watched her carefully.
My whole life, I had wished I was her. Her golden hair. Her perfect, heart-shaped face. Her light.
I had envied her.
But looking at her now, I realised something cold and unfamiliar had settled in my chest.
I didn’t know her.
This Sable was a stranger.
“You couldn’t have told me?” I asked quietly. “You couldn’t have let me know something. Anything. Just enough to know you were alive?”
Sable looked away, her jaw tightening.
“You don’t see it,” she said. “You’ve never had to.”
I pushed myself upright, the sheets sliding to my waist. “I’ve been jailed,” I said. “Hunted. Experimented on. Beaten. Hated for existing.” My voice shook, but I didn’t stop. “I’ve lived my entire life as a mistake, Sable. And you think I’m na?ve?”
Her expression hardened.
“You don’t know what real war looks like,” she said flatly. “The things I’ve seen. The bodies. The systems that grind people down until there’s nothing left of them.” Her gaze snapped back to mine. “You were protected. By me. By the institute. Even by Father.”
“Protected?” I laughed once, sharp and broken.
She didn’t flinch.
“I thought I was saving you,” she continued. “But I was only delaying the inevitable. Elliot showed me that.”
My stomach dropped.
“Elliot?” I whispered.
Sable’s eyes lit — not warmly. Purposefully.
“He sees the whole board, Seph,” she said. “Not just one life. Not just ours.”
I held her gaze. “And where do you fit on that board?”
Her jaw tightened.
“So that’s it?” I said quietly. “You’re fighting now? For him?”
Sable exhaled through her nose. “The Equinox isn’t what you’ve been told. The injustice out there is real. Entire populations crushed. Lives erased. All of it sanctioned by the Council of Light.”
“And Elliot?” I asked.
“He’s willing to end it,” she said simply. “To burn the rot out at the root.”
I swallowed. “And you’re willing to help him do that.”
She didn’t deny it.
“Yes.”
I leaned back against the headboard.
A knock sounded.
“Can we come in—” Dev’s voice started.
The door opened and he stepped inside, dressed in a fine white shirt and dress pants, like this was a day at the office. Jess followed close behind him, already drawing breath to speak—
—and was shoved aside by a blur of silver hair.
“Jesus Christ, Ash,” she snapped. “Walk much?”
Ash didn’t slow. He crossed the room in three strides and was at my bedside.
Sable rose smoothly, straightening her dress. “I’ll give you some time,” she said.
I watched her move to the door. She paused for what felt like a half second.
Something in my chest slipped loose.
I almost didn’t hear Ash say my name.
“Seph.”
I turned. He was leaning as close to the bed as he could get, careful not to touch me yet. In his hands were my gloves. His mismatched eyes were wide. Uncertain.
He held them out.
“For you.”
I smiled despite everything. “Thank you.”
I pulled them on quickly, covering my bare skin, then reached for his face. He leaned into my hands at once, resting his forehead against my palms, breathing me in like he needed proof I was real.
“I thought I’d lost you,” he said quietly.
I looked into his eyes and saw the fear still caught there.
“I’m here,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He closed his eyes.
“Ash,” Dev said gently, moving to my side. “You’re hogging her.”
I glanced up. He met my gaze, something soft and relieved passing between us.
I nodded at Jess. “I’m happy to see you too,” I said softly.
Jess folded her arms, eyes softening despite herself. “You gave us a scare. It was annoying.”
I smiled faintly. “Sorry, Jess.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t make a habit of it.”
When I looked back again, Sable was gone.