Chapter 6
A series of bells later, I sat in the mess hall, inhaling the plate of food in front of me. My whole body screamed with bruises and aches. I could hardly believe it was only lunchtime.
The Force ate in a smaller, different room from the oversize main cafeteria.
Most of the long tables were already full, but that wasn’t what held my attention.
There was a levity to the room: The people were relaxed, their trays full of food; there was the usual shake but also freeze-dried fruits, nuts, some kind of dried meat.
No one rationed the amount I put on my plate.
I had a million questions, but I kept them to myself.
Heads had followed me as I filled my tray and took an empty seat, but no one in blue said or did anything.
I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or disappointed.
Even though my blue outfit aligned me with the others, I sat alone.
My uniform wasn’t oversize or disgustingly overworn by someone else.
The blue color was slightly faded but the stitching remained in good condition.
It was the first piece of clothing I had worn since going underground that fit me.
My waistline was a bit loose, but that was a common thing among survivors.
I wiggled my toes, my boots snug and comfortable.
“Yeah, the Death’s Angel. That’s what Kaleo said last night. Burdon confirmed at Formation this morning.”
I froze at the whispering, my head slowly rising to see two cadets talking at another table, side-eyeing me. They whipped around when they noticed me looking. I focused on my plate, blending in until I was just a drop in their sea of blue.
The bench flexed. I glanced up as some of the unit took their seats around me. I swallowed my groan. Did any of them ever do anything alone?
“Rehydrated freeze-dried beef, or is it venison again?” Isla asked, sitting directly across from me.
“Venison,” Patrick said around a mouthful as he sat close to Isla.
I took a bite, ignoring them.
Isla smiled at me, encouragingly. “The texture is odd for meat, but you get used to it.”
It was different, almost soggy, but it was indeed meat. How long had the Force had access to meat while the rest of us ate porridges, broths, and nutrient shakes?
“Anyone else notice Kaleo was absent this morning?” Damien asked, plopping down near me. “Rumor has it he is fucking around with someone else. He threatened to kill someone from Unit Two for coming to his room last night. He’s being sketchy.”
“You’re going to ruin my appetite,” Isla said.
“Kaleo likes being unit commander too much to mess things up with Burdon,” Patrick said.
“You know everything,” Damien said, brandishing his fork as Rumi placed her tray in the middle of Isla and Patrick. They made room for her as she sat between them. “Tell them Kaleo is up to something and fucking around behind Burdon’s back.”
“Dude, keep your voice down,” Patrick hissed.
Everyone watched Rumi as she pushed her food around. “Stop fishing, Damien.”
I took my last bite, my plate now clean. My stomach protested in an entirely foreign way. It was full.
“Kaleo is Unit Five’s commander,” Isla explained as Levi took the seat next to her.
“Levi, tell Rumi that Kaleo is stepping out on Burdon,” Damien demanded.
“I don’t concern myself with Unit Five’s shit,” Levi muttered.
“You sure used to,” Damien said through a mouthful. Patrick bit back a chuckle. Isla’s eyes flickered to him.
“Abbott wasn’t in Five when they were together,” Rumi said.
“Thank you.” Levi sized up Damien. “And whose unit haven’t you concerned yourself with, Dame?”
“I’m a man of varied taste. Plus, it gets dull down here. I need a place for the restlessness.” Damien shrugged, popping another piece of dried fruit into his mouth. “Cadell gets it, don’t you?”
My spine went straight as his hazel eyes twinkled, taunting me.
“Which sector’s the best?” he asked. “Am I missing out by keeping it in the Force? I feel like the Ward has to be filled with givers, which might be fun. The Kitchens would all want a cuddle after. Expansion doesn’t really intrigue me, though; seems dirty.”
I leashed the beast as its hackles raised.
“Ingrid said you hadn’t been with Sanitation. Probably for the best. Good to have standards.” Damien grinned. Isla blanched.
“You might have to find out for yourself, Dame,” Levi drawled flatly, taking another bite. “You’re running out of interested parties in this sector.”
Heavy footsteps sounded behind me. The only two open seats were next to me. I couldn’t think of two people I wanted to be stuck in the middle of less than Tristian and Ingrid.
“Sit, Sorenson,” Tristian ordered.
Clearly, I wasn’t the only one. Damien made room as Tristian took the seat between us. I tensed as warmth radiated from his body, mere inches away.
Ingrid lowered herself on the other side of me. I gave her space, only to collide with Tristian. Electricity coursed through me at the contact. I bit back a groan.
Damien leaned forward. “We’ll finish this chat later, Cadell. I have more questions.”
“Questions about what?” Tristian asked. He hesitated before grabbing his fork, causing his arm to brush against mine. I looked around wildly; the tables around us were full, but no other unit seemed to sit as close together as this one.
“Oh, I was asking Cadell about her experience with other sectors,” Damien said, winking at me. “You know, in the bedroom.”
The use of my family’s name sent my shoulders to my ears. Tristian shifted as he grunted, taking a bite of his food. My heart thumped wildly in my chest. Fuck this. I had no shame in how I had chased away the hell of daily life.
“The Ward isn’t full of givers,” I snapped, my spine ramrod straight to the point of aching.
“They give all day. They’re selfish and needy in bed.
The Kitchens do cuddle. It’s suffocating.
Expansion may be dirty, but they have endless stamina and amazing arms. I’ll let you know about Sanitation soon. Any other questions?”
Damien shook back his dark hair, grinning at me. His eyes shifted to the next table over, his question obvious. I followed his eyes to find Jaxon, who watched me briefly before looking away, saying something to a blond guy beside him. Tristian’s arm stilled next to me.
“And the Force, where do we fall into the mix?” Damien jeered. “We’re the best, right?”
I pulled my eyes away from Jaxon, meeting Damien’s. “Your sector is the neediest, most insecure, selfish group of children. You’re all looks and no substance.”
“Wait! That’s not fair. You chose Jaxhole. Even I wouldn’t go there.” Damien scrunched his nose in distaste. Tristian stabbed with his fork like he had a personal vendetta against the rehydrated mush.
My left leg began to bounce even as I tried to still it. I needed out. This was too much. I stood up, brushing against Tristian. Ingrid muttered something under her breath. I didn’t need to hear it to know it was a dig at me. Across the room Jaxon stood, jerking his head toward the lockers.
“Range in fifteen, Cadet,” Tristian said, a muscle in his jaw flexing.
“What did Burdon say at the briefing this morning?” Patrick asked.
“Twelve and Five are officially on restock only. Mission is ours,” Tristian answered.
“Kaleo won’t like that,” Isla said quietly.
“What about the weather?” Patrick asked.
“According to the radar, it’s clearing.”
The rest of the conversation was lost as I followed Jaxon into the locker room. It was empty.
“Sasha,” Jaxon said, leaning against a locker. “Or should I call you Cadet? Or Death’s Angel ?”
Any attraction died in a deluge of frustration. “Just Sasha.”
“You know, I waited for you last night,” he confessed, his hand latching onto my belt loop, pulling me closer. I let him. “Why didn’t you come?”
“I was busy,” I lied.
“Being a cadet,” Jaxon drawled, his gaze raking over my blue uniform. “You didn’t tell me you were interested in the Force.”
“I wasn’t interested.”
“Sure,” he said, not an ounce of belief there, his other hand running down my side. “You didn’t tell me you were Death’s Angel either.” His index finger teased my waistband.
“You didn’t seem interested in talking,” I retorted, touching his chest.
“I didn’t think you had anything of interest to say,” Jaxon admitted. “Imagine my surprise to find out I’ve had Death’s Angel in my bed for five moons.” His hand stilled on my gun.
I gripped his shirt. “Imagine my surprise to find out I was the Expansion slut.”
Jaxon shrugged, his hand leaving my side only to find the base of my neck. “You ventured all the way from Expansion, and you weren’t exactly quiet, Death’s Angel. They heard.”
I stiffened. “They heard us or heard it from you?”
“It’s hard to keep secrets in a unit.” Jaxon chuckled, his mouth finding my neck.
I pushed against his chest, halting him.
“You’ll understand that soon enough. You get access to the secrets of the boot-kissing A Team.
They walk around like they’re better than everyone.
Hayes is the worst. He acts like he’s the fucking Force commander. ”
I straightened at the thought. The door opened, and I turned to find Unit Seven entering.
Tristian’s green eyes took in the scene, something dark reflected in the depths before looking away.
Ingrid immediately scoffed at us and beelined for the door on the other side.
I stayed in Jaxon’s arms, solidifying for them what I already knew about myself.
“Range, Cadet,” Tristian’s authoritative tone rang out, not looking my way again.
“Children,” Damien tutted at us, a wicked grin on his face as Isla pushed him forward.
“I gotta go,” I said, leaning back, but Jaxon’s hold on my belt loop stayed, tugging me back to him.
“You coming by tonight?” Jaxon asked. My eyes flickered over to the door, where my unit started to exit. I swore Tristian’s steps paused, but he left without another glance.
“Forget the bastard,” Jaxon encouraged, his mouth close to mine now. “Forget about tonight. I can be quick now. You’re hot in the uniform.”
I could hear others entering the locker room. We had an audience. Lunch must be done.
“Come on, Death’s Angel,” Jaxon cooed. “Come play. I’ll be quick.” He cupped my ass.
I hovered my lips above his, my hand drifting lower, inching toward what he wanted. I stopped just above his belt buckle. I could hear people moving about.
I grinned, not bothering to keep my voice down. “I thought that’s what you had been doing all this time—being quick.”
His eyes flared as I pulled away, leaving his need for me evident to everyone in the locker room. I glanced down before meeting his gaze. “Any quicker, and I’m not sure there’d be any point, Jaxon.”
I turned and left, my auburn ponytail whipping behind me.
I made my way through the Gym. Jaxon was turning out to be true to his nickname, but I hadn’t put much stock in my own worth in some time. Perhaps we were one and the same. Maybe that explained why I had stayed for five moons. Either way, I should be done with that particular distraction.
Light footsteps settled into the same rhythm as my own. My shadow had returned.
“How much of that did you hear?” I asked, looking straight ahead.
“All of it,” Rumi said as we passed the mats.
“Are you going to share any of it?”
“Not unless I feel I have something to gain from it,” Rumi confessed. “He isn’t a nice person.”
“I’m aware.”
“Is he great in bed?” Rumi probed. “You just told him he wasn’t, and you told Dame the Force is the worst,” Rumi reported, like she was building a case.
“Why do you care?”
“Because I’m trying to figure out if you’re lying to us, him, or yourself,” Rumi said, staring at me.
“Why does that matter?”
“Because what people lie about shows what matters to them, what they’re afraid of.”
“Nothing matters to me anymore,” I said, irritated by her bluntness, the truth in her words.
“You may want that to be true, but we both know it’s not.”
“And what do you lie about?” I demanded.
“Why would I tell you when you’re hell-bent on destroying everything you claim doesn’t matter to you?” Rumi asked.
“Stop following me,” I snapped. “I don’t need a tour guide. This won’t win you any favors with me.”
“I’m not trying to win any favors. Everyone but Ingrid drew straws last night. I drew the shortest one.”
It should make me feel better, knowing Rumi was here out of some lost bet and obligation. I should be relieved. Of course, this was probably Tristian’s doing.
“I don’t want a damn babysitter,” I said louder, coming to a halt. The sea of blue churned around us.
Rumi’s eyes glittered. “You don’t know what you want.
This unit is my family now. Hayes says we need you.
We aren’t going to question him, especially after Lily, but we aren’t going to let anyone, especially you, ruin anything for him—for us.
Haven is relying on us.” Turning away, she said over her shoulder, “If you can’t get out of your own way, then get out of ours. ”