Chapter 17 #2
I thought of the question Rumi had asked, mixed with her words now. I thought she never had anything to say. Now I wondered if the depth of what she wanted to say intimidated others so much that she chose silence.
“Shit,” Isla muttered, digging through the bag. “Do you think the Heathens brought feminine products?”
“Abbott probably did,” Ingrid said. “If not, I have stuff.”
“Buddy brought some as well,” Rumi admitted.
“How do you know that?” Isla asked, pulling her thermals back up.
“He asked me where to get them because he tracks you for missions,” Rumi informed us as she passed along the light.
“Since when?” Isla demanded.
“Forever. Claims it’s partner stuff,” Rumi told her as she squatted.
A second later, it was my turn. I hadn’t considered my cycle in so long, the near starvation making it unpredictable and scarce.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had it.
I pulled my pants up and realized I might have to pay attention as I regularly ate and regained weight.
I pushed the thought away as we returned to the outpost. The guys exited as we entered.
Rumi and Ingrid grabbed freeze-dried items they had laid out as Isla disappeared into the closet.
She returned a minute later with a stack of blankets she threw onto the mats.
I grabbed one and my food before I settled near Levi’s bag out of habit. I assumed the partner thing would remain. Rumi shifted through the blankets. “We’re short two.”
“Why would he take blankets?” Ingrid asked as she exited the closet.
“He’s sending a message,” Rumi muttered.
“I’m just happy he took only two. I can share with Buddy,” Isla agreed, taking a blanket as she took a seat and staked out an area for Damien and her.
“Same,” Rumi agreed, getting comfortable.
The door opened, and the guys returned. “Kaleo took some of the blankets,” Isla told them.
Patrick plopped down next to Rumi, who offered some of her covers. Patrick slid in, propping his back against his pack.
“Let me rip up their flag,” Damien demanded, striding toward it.
“Leave it,” Tristian said as he went to the closet, whether to look for himself or to get something, I didn’t know.
“What are we going to do about this, Hayes?” Patrick asked.
“We’re going to sleep now so we can complete our mission,” Tristian said simply as he returned to the room, holding water.
“Kaleo needs his ass kicked. I’m sick of the games. I want payback,” Damien grumbled.
“What’d you have in mind?” Levi asked, sitting next to me. Wide eyes snapped up from the other end of the mat.
“So I’ve given this a lot of thought—” Damien began.
“If I thought there was something to be gained from whatever you have planned, I’d let you finish, but nothing good would come from it. We’re all in the Force,” Tristian interrupted, an edge to his voice as he sat on the first stair, eating.
“Is that an order?” Damien challenged.
Tristian sighed. “Do I have to make it one?”
Damien took a bite, chewing like the food had insulted him. “Yes.”
Levi sighed behind me as the others went quiet. Tristian shook his head. “It’s an order then, Damien. You’re not to engage.”
“Bullshit,” Damien muttered angrily, his usual jovial demeanor gone.
“Buddy,” Isla warned, placing a hand on his knee.
“I fucking hate bullies. You know he doesn’t see us as all being in the Force. I’m tired of him picking on us and Twelve. He’s up to something. Acting like this mission’s success won’t save everyone. It doesn’t matter who completes it. It’s bullshit,” Damien admitted furiously.
Tristian addressed Damien. “I’m talking with Henderson when I return. I will talk with Lyssa. I hear you, Cruz. You’re right that it’s bullshit.”
“Fine.” Damien stretched out on the mat.
Everyone finished their food in silence.
Funny how the world had basically ended, leaving nothing untouched by death, but something as unnecessary as bullying remained.
I scoffed at the things humans felt they had to cling to, the feeble idea of power they thought it gave them.
The unit slowly settled, some using their packs as pillows, others using their arms. They pulled flimsy blankets over them, extending to partners.
Everyone huddled close as if being this near to the edge of the Abyss drove them toward life.
I stretched out, my body exhausted as breathing shifted and grew heavy.
Tristian stood by the stairs, his eyes raking over everyone.
“Sleep, Hayes,” Levi encouraged from the mat. I glanced at the empty spot beside me. It wasn’t big enough to fit him. “They won’t come here. Kaleo’s ambitious, not stupid.”
Hayes hesitated, his green eyes finding mine. “I think I should keep watch.”
“We need a rested commander tomorrow. No one else is out here,” Levi told him. “Fuck, don’t make me pull rank. Sleep.”
“Fine.” Tristian turned, grabbing his shirt from his pack. Instead of donning it, he wadded it up like a pillow.
“Do you need a blanket?” I asked immediately as he lowered himself down next to me, too much skin exposed, his muscles shifting and tensing as he met the mat.
“I’m fine; I run warm.” He rested his head on his shirt and stared at the ceiling.
“You sure? You can have mine. I’ll share with Levi,” I insisted, his bare shoulder inches from mine.
“I’m not sharing with you; you move too much,” Levi told me. I whipped my head toward him and found him facing me on his side, smirking.
“Does she?” Tristian asked. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Trying to sleep,” Patrick told the room, which was rich coming from someone who never slept. Maybe he could sleep on missions. He hadn’t volunteered for the watch either night.
I fell silent, turning back, only to bump into Tristian’s shoulder. I scooted back, right into Levi. “Sorry,” I whispered to them both, shimmying into the middle of them, sandwiched between two large forms.
“Go to sleep, Sasha,” Levi mumbled sleepily as I turned to my side and faced Tristian. He remained staring at the ceiling, his arms crossed. I pulled my blanket up to my chin, elbowing Tristian in the process.
“Sorry,” I muttered again.
Tristian slowly turned his head toward me, his gaze finding mine as strands of his dark curls fell into his face.
I fisted the blanket in my hands as I imagined brushing the hair away.
My breath caught. That need for distraction, something to get lost in, roared to the surface.
Or that’s what I called it. I tried to silence it.
My face was still bruised, we smelled from the walk, and my hair was a curled mess from the braids.
I was nothing worth looking at, but he did.
He looked. Those green eyes roamed my face in the dark.
I swallowed, my mouth too dry as my thoughts turned to his hand on my skin in our living quarters.
A snore filled the room. Tristian shifted as he stared at the ceiling again.
“Don’t worry about it. Good night,” Tristian told me as more snores slowly filled the small room.
I closed my eyes, willing my body to relax. My skin buzzed, leaving me restless. Finally, without warning, sleep claimed me.
I awoke to warmth; no nightmares had found me. I almost shifted, ready to bury myself in the warmth, when hushed voices caused me to freeze.
“I get it, but time is of the essence. We ditch the suits and move out on foot. We’ll move quicker. There’s low radiation,” Levi whispered in the dark room. “The systems in the suit won’t even work. They’re no better than scrap metal out here.”
“You’re sure they’re asleep?” Tristian asked quietly.
“Yes,” Levi answered assuredly.
“I miss having these conversations in the helmets.”
Guilt pelted me.
“Not an option now,” Levi said. “Quit avoiding the question.”
Tristian sighed. I could feel his warm breath against my skin.
“The unit will be more exposed without the suits. What if there is radiation in some areas? We don’t know how far the low reading stretches.
I’d be putting you all at risk, not to mention the traps.
The suits would protect everyone. I don’t like you guys being vulnerable. ”
“We won’t be that vulnerable. We have your medic,” Levi countered.
“Levi—”
“Ditching the suits, we can cover more ground. We can even hit the western side. We have five days’ worth of food, seven if we ration. We all know the risk of being above. The weather seems to be holding. We take advantage.”
Tristian blew out a breath, causing the hair on my face to shift.
It was his warmth that engulfed me. I was curled up around his right side.
My right leg hiked up, resting on Tristian’s thigh, trapping his right arm between us.
His knuckles brushed against my low stomach.
Embarrassment flooded me. I willed myself not to move as something hot and pulsing tangled with my embarrassment.
“Even in the suits, Hayes, you can’t ensure we all make it back.”
“I can’t—”
“Let us do this for Haven, for you. You know everyone in this room will follow you,” Levi urged.
Tristian sighed in defeat, his chin brushing the top of my head as he seemed to look toward Levi. I was practically on top of him. My heart sped up of its own accord—it’d give me away.
“Are you sleeping at all?” Levi asked, concern heavy.
“Some,” Tristian grunted.
“My offer stands. We can switch; you need rest,” Levi suggested.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” Tristian whispered.
“I know you don’t,” Levi drawled behind me. Someone grunted in their sleep. They paused.
“I never thought I’d see the day, Levi Williams making a case for humanity’s greater good,” Hayes muttered quietly, a quiet chuckle rumbling in his chest.
“People change,” Levi whispered back. “Never thought I’d see the day either.”
Tristian shifted, the arm trapped between our bodies pressed into my skin. He didn’t move away from me but closer, as he pulled the blanket on me up and muttered, “People change.”
“Was that in agreement or a prayer?” Levi jeered.
“Both.”