Chapter 17 #5
As our time alone ran out, I asked the question that had lingered from his story, something I was desperate in my bones to understand. “Levi, are you still angry?”
“Yes. I think a part of me always will be. But it’s not really anger, Sasha.
” My heart beat against my throat. The look in Levi’s eyes told me he knew why I had asked.
“It’s grief for all that was and all that will never be.
It’s all it always was. When you can accept that, you can start to let go. ”
I had difficulty breathing around that as we descended into the outpost.
“You guys good?” Damien asked as we grabbed food and water. “That explosive scared us.”
“Yeah, we’re good,” Levi confirmed.
The door opened, and Tristian and Ingrid descended. The entire unit reunited again. “The traps are resetting. We set off two as well,” Tristian stated.
The whole unit moved about, falling onto the mat quickly.
Snores filled the space within the hour.
I fell asleep slightly closer to Tristian than necessary.
I couldn’t ignore what I had felt above—a deep respect for my partner and for the man they all followed.
The man who I was inches from. If I leaned forward, I could brush my lips against the scar on his shoulder.
He was good, in a way I knew I couldn’t be.
I stayed close to him, telling myself it was for warmth.
Tristian’s face was relaxed in sleep. His deep, even breaths caused his curls to flutter lightly across his face. I was back in the Ward, urging him to hang on, whispering pleas for him to stay with me. Our first words to each other danced in the silent air.
You stayed.
You asked me to.
Tristian shifted, rolling toward me. I froze as his strong arm wrapped around my waist, tucking me into him. I let it happen and in the dark, I did what I wished I had been brave enough to do from the beginning.
I stayed.
Two more days passed. The unit was worn-out.
No one found anything worth inspecting. Rumi had mentioned they had found green grass sprouts and returned with a soil sample in a baggie for the Kitchens.
Isla had told her they saw leaves on a tree.
Both were big news, but the morale became heavy and tired.
Even Damien didn’t joke on the fourth morning, as our supplies and spirits dwindled.
Maybe all his energy was going into hiding how bad his left ankle plagued him.
Every night he kicked his legs up on his pack, like he was relaxing, but as our gazes met, we both knew the real reason.
I wondered how much longer he could keep this up.
Not just this mission, but his time in the Force. At some point the injury would win.
“Morning,” Levi greeted the unit on day four. “We head out in fifteen.”
“Where’s Hayes?” Patrick asked, rubbing his neck.
“Medusa and Hades took off two hours ago.”
Isla stopped stretching. “What do you mean they took off?”
“To reach the farthest part of their area, they left early. We head out in fifteen.”
The group grumbled as they started to get ready.
We had seen better days. Levi had a significant stubble.
Damien’s hair had become more and more matted.
Rumi hadn’t bothered to redo her braids, pieces now escaping, dark circles under her eyes.
Patrick’s blond hair stuck up in greasy clumps.
Isla was the only one who still tried to look semi-presentable.
I smelled, but we all did. Who knew what state my auburn hair was in.
After a few quick bites and donning gear, we all said goodbye and took off. We walked the unchanging landscape in our section. Levi assured me it was an area we hadn’t covered. It all appeared the same. It had only been a few hours when our radios went off.
“Medusa to unit?”
Levi hit it. “Raven here.”
“Medusa to unit.”
Levi tried again, just for Ingrid to repeat her call.
“If you can hear me, we found an entrance. Hades went down alone. He’s been down for several hours.”
My eyes found Levi’s as the radio went silent. “We should go,” I urged, cold sweat beading my temples.
“We should wait for more information,” Levi countered.
“What if Hayes is hurt and needs me, needs a medic?” I demanded. “We should go. We have to go.” My heartbeat became a gallop.
“Sasha, I have watched Hayes get in and out of a lot of shitty situations. He’ll be okay,” Levi reassured me.
“Medusa to unit. Hayes isn’t responding. I’m hearing weird noises down there. I’m disobeying orders. I’m going down.”
The radio went silent again. Why had Tristian ordered her not to go down?
“He knows better than to go down alone,” Levi muttered to himself.
“We should go, Levi. I’m the medic.”
“We don’t know they need a medic.”
“You don’t know that they don’t,” I snapped back. “We should go.”
“Raven to Medusa, do you need backup?” The radio went silent. Levi tried again.
I rounded on Levi. “Did you two talk about this plan while everyone was asleep?”
“Have you been pretending to be asleep while we talk?” Levi asked, crossing his arms.
I could get embarrassed at what I just admitted later. “Answer the question, Levi.”
“We did. There’s an area they discovered yesterday. Hayes wanted more time to investigate, so he gave me the location and left early. Ingrid didn’t question him.”
“Did you question him?” I demanded, my heart refusing to slow as the radio remained silent.
“He’s my commander,” Levi said.
“He’s your friend. You should question dumb ideas,” I snarled.
Levi surveyed me. He hit the button. “Raven to Medusa, status update.”
We stood staring at each other. My leg began to shake as the radio remained quiet.
“We go,” I told him. I had lost too many people. I started walking away.
“Sasha—”
“No, I’ve seen what happens when you wait, Levi. Every second counts if he’s hurt. We should go now.”
“Is that your call, Medic?”
“Yes,” I snarled.
“Fine, but you’re going the wrong way. It’s that way.” Levi pointed in the complete opposite direction.
I pivoted. We walked for several minutes, our footsteps and my pounding pulse the only sounds. I moved quickly. Levi kept up.
“So, what are we going to talk about first, Sasha?” Levi began. “The fact that we are abandoning our mission on the off chance Hayes needs us—”
“Shut up.”
“—or the fact that you’re an eavesdropper?” I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I ignored him, reaching a jog. Levi met my pace.
“Or how about the fact that you are indeed a cuddler. Every single night,” Levi taunted.
“Why don’t we talk about you offering to switch because I kept Hayes up with my cuddling?” I spat, increasing my speed.
“Sasha, slow down. This is why people shouldn’t eavesdrop.
You make shit assumptions. I was talking about the watch Hayes insists on taking every night on missions.
The shift he pushes past his time because he can’t rest in the outpost. Hell, I’d throw you fully on top of him every night.
I’ve never seen him sleep like this since we lost our unit. ”
I lost my footing. “What?”
“I told you, we all have demons.”
I ignored him, his comments only pushing me on.
“You can’t ignore me the entire time.”
“Watch me.”
“There’s no point in denying—SASHA, LOOK OUT!
” Levi bellowed before my body hurtled forward.
Any semblance of balance, of what was up or down, slipped away.
Dirt and hard ground collided with my face.
The sound of something heavy filled the air.
Then it all went quiet. Those silent seconds stretched on too long.
My heart ravaged my ribs as I turned. Large metal pieces, several feet taller than me, stuck up at odd angles, dispersed from the earth like giant claws to impale anyone who crossed them.
I pushed myself up. My insides disappeared.
Panic filled me. Where was Levi? Fuck, where was Levi?
I couldn’t get a breath in, my lungs seizing, terrified of what I might find.
Bright red blood streaked down one of the metal pieces. Next to it in a heap lay Levi, a crimson puddle spilling from him. He didn’t move. Neither did the trap.
A scream tore from my throat. Time stopped. My partner’s name reverberated through the still air.