CHAPTER NINETEEN #2
They left the church and walked to the vehicles where Ben held out his hand. “Let me drive. You keep holding the flowers.”
After a moment’s hesitation, she handed her car keys to him. He opened the passenger door for her, then held the flowers while she settled into the seat and buckled up.
“Follow us to Amelia’s apartment,” Ben called to Luca. “Then we’ll just take one car from there.”
Luca lifted a hand in acknowledgement, then they left the church parking lot. Ben immediately felt the difference in driving her car versus the SUV. And even though he’d adjusted the seat, he still felt really cramped.
Thankfully, the drive to Amelia’s was short. After parking her car, he carried the vase and flowers up to her apartment for her.
“Do you mind filling the vase with some water?” Amelia asked. “I’m just going to change out of my work clothes.”
“Sure thing.”
Ben set the vase in the sink, and while it filled, he unwrapped the paper from around the flowers. The scent of them drifted lightly into the air, and Ben hoped that they’d keep their vibrant colors for a while.
When Amelia returned, she’d changed into a pair of black capris and a plain purple T-shirt. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and for a moment, he was reminded of the girl she’d once been.
“Ready to go?” he asked.
“Yes.” She picked her purse up from the counter. “Would you mind if we went to the park or somewhere outside to eat? I’ve been cooped up inside all day.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
This time, when they went to the park, it wasn’t as full as the last time they’d been there, though the day was just as nice.
Luca once again sat down at a nearby table with his food, close, but not too close.
“So, how are you feeling today?” Ben asked as he set Amelia’s container of food in front of her.
“I’m fi—” She cut herself off. “Five. Six.”
Ben gave her a gentle smile. “Thank you.”
She raised her brows. “For what?”
“For trusting me with the truth. I’m sure it’s easier to just say you’re fine.”
“It is,” she admitted with a shrug. “But it’s kind of… nice to know someone knows the truth.”
“So do you feel like you’ve recovered from the quick trip to New York?”
“Mostly, yes. I’m still tired, but it’s not the bone-deep exhaustion I had on Sunday.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Ben said as he opened the container that held his steak sandwich and fries. “I felt bad that I made you take that walk.”
She shook her head. “Don’t feel bad. Yes, it tired me physically, but I needed it. My world has narrowed a lot. I’ve never ventured into my neighborhood except to walk back and forth between my building and my car.”
“Well, if you ever want to wander it again, give me a call,” he said with a grin. “I offer full-service walks, with piggyback rides if needed.”
Amelia tossed a fry at him. “You’re a dork.”
Ben laughed. “Well, you’ve always known that I have the ability to wander into dorkdom once in awhile.”
Amelia smiled, a full-blown smile that he had rarely seen from her since they’d reconnected.
Ben had always loved making her smile. Even as a teen, he'd done silly things just to see that brightness light up her face. It made his heart swell to know he could still bring that expression to her face.
"So," Ben said, picking up a fry and pointing it at her before popping it in his mouth, "what have you been doing this week since we haven't had the clinics?"
Amelia took a bite of her chicken wrap, chewing thoughtfully before answering. "Not much, honestly. Work has been quiet. I've been trying to conserve energy when I can, which means going to work and then going home. What have you been doing with all your free time?”
“It’s not been so free,” Ben said as he picked up his cup to take a sip. “Dad decided he wanted to have a look at the proposals that I’ve been reading over. Give his input.”
Amelia tilted her head. “You don’t like that?”
“It’s not that,” Ben said. “I value his input, but sometimes it makes me feel like I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“But you do.”
Ben shrugged. “Given that the committee agrees with me ninety-five percent of the time, I think I do.”
“What does Julian say?”
“He laughed! Can you believe that? Mr. No-Sense-of-Humor laughed at me.”
Amelia chuckled. “Did he say why?”
“He said that I was lucky. I got the mellow version of Dad.” Ben rolled his eyes. “It doesn’t feel very mellow.”
“Maybe your dad is just bored.”
“I have a hard time thinking of my dad as being bored.”
“And it’s possible he has a hard time thinking he has nothing to do as well. Or that he’s useless.”
“He’s definitely not useless,” Ben said. “But if he is bored, I wish he’d direct his need to engage elsewhere.”
“What else does he like doing?” Amelia asked.
“He seems to spend a lot of time helping TJ put Lego sets together.”
“Really?” Amelia appeared to mull that over for a moment. “Maybe you need to buy your dad a set of his own?”
“I think half the fun for him is doing it with TJ.”
“Can’t blame him for that,” Amelia said. “From what I’ve seen, TJ is an entertaining little guy.”
“He is,” Ben agreed. “He must have gotten all of his genes from Kiara because goodness knows Julian isn’t entertaining at all.”
“I thought you and Julian were getting along better these days.”
“Oh, we are,” Ben said. “But we’re still brothers. He laughs at me, and I poke fun at him. Just how it goes.”
“I guess it must be a brother thing. It’s how Micah and Trent relate, though Shiloh, Layla, and I never did.”
“There might be a bit of our previous relationship mixed in there, too,” Ben said. “From back when I was a teenager. We’ve put it mostly behind us, but I’ll forever be the little brother, you know.”
Ben was so glad to see Amelia smiling and laughing. And this was the first time he felt like she had truly let down her guard around him.
It gave him hope that maybe they could be more than just friends. She still held a piece of his heart.
No, that wasn’t true. She held the whole of it. Whether she knew it or not.
Though Ben wanted her to open her heart to him, he could sense that she was very protective of herself. Of her heart. And he couldn’t blame her for that.
He wasn’t sure she was ready to hear how he felt about her now. How he loved her.
His feelings for her now were different from what they had been when they were teenagers.
As a boy, he'd loved her with the certainty that their future together was inevitable, mapped out in his mind like the constellations they used to trace with their fingertips while lying on summer grass.
That love had been pure but untested, like a ship that had never left the harbor.
Now, however, he understood that love wasn't just about the easy moments. It needed to be an anchor that held fast even when storms churned the waters between two people.
And he wanted to prove to her that their love could be that anchor.