30 halloween
The party's already a disaster by the time I'm halfway through my second drink.
Music pulses through the walls hard enough to make the floor vibrate under my shoes while somebody dressed as a cowboy stands on the kitchen counter screaming lyrics nobody else seems to know.
The whole house smells like vodka, sweat, fake fog machine smoke, and whatever cinnamon thing somebody spilled near the staircase an hour ago.
Typical college Halloween party.
Scott's somewhere behind me arguing with two teammates about whether matching costumes automatically mean people are hooking up.
"It absolutely means that," one of them says.
"No," Scott argues immediately. "Sometimes people just enjoy whimsy."
I lean against the kitchen island and let their voices blur into the background, mostly because my brain's somewhere else entirely.
I haven't stopped thinking about Everly all week.
Not during practice. Not while trying to sleep.
Not while walking back to the dorm every night and noticing when her side of the room is empty.
And the worst part is knowing I did it to myself.
"You look miserable," a girl says beside me.
I glance over. She's dressed as some version of a vampire that's mostly just leather and glitter.
"Thanks."
"That wasn't an insult."
"Still accurate."
She laughs softly and steps closer anyway. "You always this friendly?"
Before I can answer, the front door opens.
And everything inside me stops.
Everly walks in between Nola and Peyton, laughing at something one of them says, and suddenly the rest of the party disappears behind her like somebody muted the entire room.
Jesus Christ.
She looks-
Fuck.
She's wearing a black skirt with dark tights and an oversized sweater slipping slightly off one shoulder, her hair falling around her face in loose messy waves that look effortless even though I know they probably weren't. Nola's dressed like an angel.
Peyton's wearing all black with tiny devil horns.
But Everly still somehow outshines the entire room without even trying.
And the worst part is how easy she looks. Relaxed, warm, like sunlight after weeks of rain.
The vampire girl beside me says something else.
I don't hear a word.
Because Everly's smiling. Really smiling. Not the polite version she's been giving me lately. Not the careful distant one.
A real smile.
For one dangerous second, I almost convince myself things are normal again.
Then she looks up and sees me across the room.
The smile slips slightly.
Not completely, but just enough.
That somehow hurts more than if she'd glared at me.
"Dude," Scott says beside me slowly, "you're staring like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankle."
I ignore him.
Everly looks away first, turning back toward Peyton while Nola says something that makes her laugh again, but now I can't stop watching her. It's like my brain physically refuses to focus on anything else.
-
An hour later, the party's louder and hotter and packed enough that people keep slamming shoulders into me every time they squeeze through the kitchen doorway.
I'm drunk enough now that everything feels slightly delayed around the edges.
Not wasted. Just enough that my thoughts feel looser than usual.
Which historically has never gone well for me.
Across the living room, Everly's perched on the arm of a couch between Peyton and Nola while Scott stands in front of them talking with his hands like he's performing stand-up comedy. Everly laughs again, throwing her head back slightly, and Scott grins immediately like he accomplished something.
Something ugly twists hard in my chest.
Because she looks comfortable around him now.
Easy.
Relaxed in a way she hasn't been around me in weeks.
A brunette in a police costume touches my arm lightly. "You wanna dance?"
"Not really."
She blinks. "That was brutally honest."
"My bad."
But I'm already looking past her again.
Back to Everly.
Always back to Everly.
The music changes into something louder, bass heavy enough to shake the cups sitting on the coffee table while the living room turns messier as more people start dancing. Scott holds a hand out dramatically toward Everly, bowing like an idiot.
She laughs before taking it.
And that-
That finally snaps something in me.
Because suddenly Scott's hands are on her waist and Everly's laughing up at him while everyone around them acts like this is normal. Like I'm supposed to stand here and watch another guy touch her while she smiles at him like that.
I drain the rest of my drink in one swallow and start walking before I fully think it through.
Scott notices me first.
His expression shifts immediately. "Uh-"
Everly turns toward me, and the second she sees my face, her smile disappears.
"Stop dancing with him."
The words come out rougher than I intended, sharpened by jealousy and alcohol and every stupid feeling I've spent weeks trying not to name.
Scott looks genuinely confused.
Everly just stares at me like I've completely lost my mind. "What?"
I step closer before I can stop myself. "I said stop dancing with him."
The music pounds around us while people shove past toward the kitchen, laughing loudly enough that nobody else notices the tension snapping tight between us.
But for me, the whole room narrows down to just her.
Everly lets out one sharp disbelieving laugh.
"You're fucking unbelievable."
There it is again.
That same hurt expression from the dorm after I told her to get in line, except now there's anger underneath it too. Real anger.
Good.
I deserve that.
She shakes her head once before pushing past me hard enough that my shoulder knocks into somebody behind me.
"Everly-"
She doesn't stop walking.
Scott watches her disappear into the crowd before slowly turning back toward me. "...My bad?"
I scrub a hand over my face immediately. "She's not mine."
Scott studies me for a long second, his expression shifting slightly like he's putting something together in real time.
Then he asks quietly, "You wish she was?"
And just like that, all the alcohol in my system suddenly feels useless.
Because I open my mouth to answer him-
And nothing comes out.
I don't know how to answer anymore.
Scott's face changes slightly, like my silence already told him enough, and around us the party keeps moving without pause. Music. Laughter. People yelling over each other.
But all I can do is stare toward the hallway Everly disappeared down and think about how badly I just fucked everything up again.