Chapter 13 #2
Sylvie’s cousin had the biggest heart of anyone she’d met.
Ethan was an unassuming guy. He wore wire-rimmed glasses straight out of the nineties and had a closetful of chinos.
People had commented that the two of them seemed mismatched, especially when they went out together and people assumed they were a couple.
But Sylvie didn’t think anybody in the world understood her the way he did.
“Do you ever think the way we grew up, how oppressive it was, messed us up?”
Ethan wrinkled his brow. “That’s a sudden change in topic.”
“It’s more connected than you realize.”
“Okay, well… ‘Messed up’ could mean a lot of things.”
“I mean about sex.”
He nodded, thinking. “I doubt it’s possible to grow up with people telling you your very existence is wrong and not be affected. But I moved past it. It wasn’t easy, and there’s a voice at the back of my mind that sounds a lot like my mother’s. But I haven’t heard it for a long time.”
“Thank goodness for that.”
“But I’m guessing you’re not asking about me, because we’ve had that conversation plenty of times before. What’s really on your mind?”
She set down her fork. She’d never told Ethan about the orgasm thing. And she didn’t want to now. But she did need her best friend’s advice.
“I met someone. I’m definitely attracted to him, but I don’t think I can trust him. And even if I could, I’m worried I have too many hang-ups.”
“Is he pushing you farther than you’re willing to go?”
“The opposite. I was able to tell him things I could never express to anyone else, even though I hardly know him. And he seemed to accept it without much thought.”
In some ways, it made more sense that Dominic had been faking.
Ethan was nodding. “And even though you want that acceptance, you feel like you can’t trust it? Because it’s so different from what you’re used to?”
“In a way.” She exhaled, not wanting to get bogged down in the sordid details. “In the past, the guys I’ve been with didn’t seem to mind the barriers I kept. But this new person—it’s like he can see straight past them.”
Here was the part that really freaked her out: if Dominic had been lying to her, why did she still want him?
It wasn’t just that he was sexy. Whether or not his motives were genuine, Dominic had seen her. He’d offered things no man had before.
I want to make you feel good. No expectations.
Sex with Dominic was probably a terrible idea. If he’d manipulated her, set a trap, made her feel threatened—it was unforgivable.
So why was her heart racing as she remembered his kiss?
Ethan reached for her hand across the table.
“When Luis and I first got together, I had a hard time just being myself with him. It was scary, opening up to someone so much. And that voice I mentioned? It kept telling me there was no way he was for real. But I just listened to my heart. I know how cheesy that sounds, but it’s true.
I had to trust him, that he was who he said he was, and the risk was worth it. ”
She wished she could do the same with Dominic. But it wasn’t just her heart at risk. It was Bennett Security.
They finished eating, and Sylvie put the leftovers in the breakroom fridge. The bodyguards would probably have it polished off by tomorrow morning.
“I have a long night ahead, just my laptop and me. You should probably head home.”
Ethan nodded. “Before I go, I found that letter Faith sent. The one you supposedly threw away?”
“I guess I should’ve been less obvious.”
He shrugged. “You know I like to borrow your stuff. Next time, don’t put it in the drawer where you keep your best pens.
I was thinking, I know Faith hurt you. But maybe she’s looking for the same thing we were just talking about.
Someone to see her and accept her for who she is. No matter how scary that might be.”
“Maybe. I could give that some thought. But not until I have more time.”
Ethan gave her a hug. “I hope you find your Luis.”
“I hope that, too.” Someday.
Later that night, as Sylvie was working, a text came in on her phone from an unfamiliar number.
Sylvie, it’s Dominic. I hope you don’t mind that I tracked down your number. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.
Her chest tightened at the thought of him. The memory of his hands on her, his lips brushing her ear as he whispered dirty things. Even with the terrible ordeal of that afternoon, arousal still rushed to her core.
She wanted to demand explanations. What had really happened? What was the truth? But she had no reason to expect it.
Sylvie: I’m fine. Thank you. How about you and Maureen?
Dominic: We’re in one piece.
Sylvie: In a safe place?
Dominic: Safe enough.
Sylvie tapped her fingers on her desk, contemplating her next reply.
Sylvie: What about the blood on the door? What was that from?
Dominic: Just pig’s blood.
She made a sound of disgust. Had that been theater for her benefit?
Those men who’d smeared that blood, who’d shot at the house—they’d likely been Dominic’s allies just months ago. She could barely wrap her head around that fact.
If the attack had been real, it must’ve served as a warning to Dominic. But of what?
Dominic: I’m so sorry you got caught up in my shit.
Sylvie: It happens.
Dominic: What about your computer?
Her thumbs paused on her screen, and a cold thread of anger wound through her insides. Was he fishing for information? She had to be careful.
Sylvie: What about it?
Dominic: There was some kind of intrusion, right? Did they cause any damage?
Sylvie: We haven’t determined yet.
She thought that was a vague enough response.
Dominic: Is there anything I can do to help?
Sylvie: How could you help? I thought you didn’t know anything about computers.
There was a pause. Three small dots appeared, then disappeared, several times before Dominic’s response came. But it was a complete change of subject.
Dominic: You probably never want to see me again.
She debated another moment.
Sylvie: Maybe it’s for the best if I don’t.
She waited for him to tell her she was wrong. But he didn’t respond, and Sylvie placed her phone facedown on the table.