Chapter 1
Twelve Years Ago
Danica sprinted up the hill. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry blasted through her headphones. Her chest and quads burned.
She’d just finished her last semester of undergrad, and her brother and dad were both out of town for all of June. The house was hers. Such uninterrupted bliss. She really needed this downtime before her graduate programs started.
Danica crested the hill, ready to enjoy the downward part of the slope.
But instead, she ran headlong into someone else. Someone tall and solid.
“Hey!”
“Ow!”
Sweaty arms wrapped around her. The both of them fell into the grass by the side of the road and rolled.
Danica ended on top, with the other person below. The two of them were a heaving mass of limbs and hostility.
It was Noah Vandermeer. Soren’s friend.
“What the hell, Noah?”
“Your fault, not mine,” he said hoarsely. “You’re supposed to be running against traffic.”
Why did his voice sound like—
Oh. Crap.
Danica realized the unfortunate placement of her knee. She’d racked the poor kid.
“Sorry.” She rolled away, and they both sat up. “Are you okay?”
“Probably. I’m sterile now, but aside from that…”
She snorted a laugh. “I did the world a favor. There won’t be any more of you running around, slamming into people.”
Danica stood and held out a hand. He grabbed it. Then the jerk actually pulled her back down. She yelped, and Noah caught her around the waist just before she landed in his lap.
He smirked up at her.
So he had quick reflexes. And more muscles than last summer. So what? He was still annoying.
Once her feet were back on the ground, she asked, “Why aren’t you in Mexico right now? I thought you’d be with Soren.” Her brother had jetted off to Cancun with his friends.
“Didn’t feel like spending a month drinking. I’d fall behind on my training.”
“For the Navy SEAL thing? You’re still doing that?” She hadn’t taken it very seriously, and Soren had given it up.
“That’s all I want to do.”
“Wow. Okay.” She had to admit, she was impressed.
Last summer, after he’d graduated high school, Soren had gotten it into his head that he wanted to become a Navy SEAL.
Maybe it was the fact that he was a competitive swimmer, a natural athlete.
More likely? It was some comment their father had made about how impressive military special operatives were.
Whatever the reason, Soren had roped Noah into running with him after their swim practices. They’d become training buddies, lifting weights in Soren’s gym at the house, doing sit-ups and push-ups out on the lawn with their shirts off.
Not like that had interested her. Nor had her eyes lingered on Soren’s annoying friend during the guys’ swim meets, noticing his butt. Or that megawatt smile.
The dimple, though, she had to admit was kinda cute.
“What’re you doing home?” he asked. They were walking together now, heading in the direction of both their houses.
“My program doesn’t start until August.”
“Right, I heard you graduated early. Congrats. You’re doing your masters next?”
“Double masters. Public policy and nonprofit management.”
He grinned, looking at her sidelong. “Typical Dani. What an overachiever.”
“Shut up. Like you’re not.”
While Soren had just squeaked by, Noah had always gotten straight As. She was pretty sure Soren had been accepted into his college because he was a legacy.
They reached the turnoff for Noah’s house. “Want to come over?” he asked. “My parents just got back from Napa and brought back half the state’s annual supply of cheese.”
“What about those cookies your mom got before? The ones you brought over last summer?”
“The brown-butter chocolate ones? Yep. Good thing I saved some. Just in case any girls came over.”
Why did his voice sound so flirty suddenly? And why was her body tingling in response?
“Maybe some girls will,” she said.
“What about you?”
“No. I have plans.”
“Another time?”
“I’ll think about it.” For the cookies, obviously. Nothing else.
“Taylor Swift is not going on my workout playlist,” Noah said.
Danica grabbed her iPod from his hands. “You have to listen to the song all the way through before rejecting it.”
“Fine,” he grumbled. “Go ahead.”
They were sitting on the living room floor at Danica’s house, backs against the couch, arms pressed together as they listened to music and argued about the playlist they were making.
And Danica was loving every moment of it.
Noah had a fondness for hard rock with angry, screamy vocals, which he swore by for weight lifting, while Danica liked pop. The more bubble gum, the better.
Three weeks had passed since they’d slammed into one another on the hill.
At first, he’d kept turning up on her morning runs.
And she’d kept turning down his invites to his house.
But finally, she’d relented. Lunch with his parents had been fun and low key.
There was no judgment or disapproval or unnecessary competition in the Vandermeer family. Being around them was relaxing.
And those cookies. Amazing.
So she’d kept going—even after the cookies were gone—and she and Noah had started spending more time together. Longer runs, lingering conversations. Noah had been showing her how to deadlift.
For the first time, Noah was truly her friend, not just Soren’s. It wasn’t something she ever would’ve expected.
Growing up, Danica had been the serious one, while Soren had been the popular jock. Danica had gotten sick of playing the grumpy, stick-in-the-mud older sister who only cared about school and didn’t know how to have fun.
But now, Noah kept texting her and inviting her over. Like she was the fun one.
As the weeks had passed, their workouts had morphed into video game tournaments, movie marathons, or music debates.
And, just in the past few days, they’d started hanging out at her house instead. Where it was just the two of them.
Alone.
“All right,” Noah said. “That song wasn’t so bad. It’s on the list. But now it’s my turn to pick. Hand over the iPod.”
She held it out of his reach. “No Metallica. Or other things with ‘metal’ or ‘death’ in the name.”
“What? That’s not fair.”
“It’s my iPod.”
Noah grabbed for the device, then gave up and grabbed Danica instead. He pulled her into his lap and tickled her until she was breathless and screaming. “Fine, fine, take it!”
But he didn’t take the iPod when she offered it. Instead, he grinned at her. Then he licked his lower lip.
Ughn. Arousal sped through her veins, setting off a needy ache between her legs.
She wanted to… But she couldn’t. Crap. He was Soren’s best friend. Soren’s roommate.
“I should…”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
Still, it took several more seconds for her to push away from him and stand up.
“I guess I’ll head home,” Noah said. But his tone made it clear he didn’t want to go home. He wanted something else entirely.
And god, she wanted it, too.
This was Noah. What the hell was she doing?
For a long time, Danica had thought of him as a kid. He’d been a late bloomer. But Noah was very much a man now, not a boy. He was twenty. Their age gap of two years had never seemed so small.
And the way he looked at her? With one heated glance, he could get her blood pumping. He looked at her like she was firing up his body in all the ways he did for her.
Like he wanted everything.
The same way he was watching her right now.
But they couldn’t. Even flirting felt wrong and forbidden. She knew her brother would be weird about it. Soren would get jealous, say she was trying to steal his friend the way she’d monopolized their father’s attention and praise for so many years.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Danica asked.
“Yep. See you.” Noah headed for the door, his disappointment obvious.
When he was gone, she curled up on the couch, holding a throw pillow to her stomach to crush the feelings there.
One day left.
One day until Soren would return from Mexico, and Danica would leave for school.
She woke that morning feeling panicked. She’d been looking forward to starting her masters since her freshman year of undergrad. She’d worked her ass off and sacrificed to get here.
And she didn’t want to go.
Because of freaking Noah Vandermeer.
They met in front of her house for their run, just as they did every morning. The sky was a cloudy gray, and the air was heavy with moisture.
“It’s supposed to rain later,” she said.
He murmured something in agreement.
Noah was quieter than usual. She could’ve sworn he felt it, too. That ratcheting of the tension between them. The longing for things that might be impossible, but maybe, just maybe…weren’t.
“Have you packed?” Noah asked.
She nodded.
“Of course you’re packed. I bet you were packed a week ago.”
“Then why’d you ask?”
Instead of answering, he sighed and frowned.
Then, when they were about halfway through their route, thunder rumbled overhead.
And the rain came.
It was like the sky had cracked open down the middle. Huge rain drops splattered on their heads and on the asphalt.
The two of them laughed and shouted as they ran for the cover of a tree. They huddled together while cold raindrops pattered around them.
Water dripped from Noah’s hair and down his lips. His T-shirt was plastered against his torso, showing off the channel between his pecs. The ridges of his abs. She couldn’t stop herself from staring.
Their eyes met, breaths going ragged.
She knew exactly what would happen, yet she didn’t really believe it until his mouth landed on hers.
Noah’s kiss wasn’t slow and tentative. This was rough. Demanding. She kissed him back with equal urgency. Tongues probing, hands exploring. They both knew they didn’t have much time.
He tasted like rainwater and sweat. Like salt and fire and temptation.
Danica felt his erection against her hip. She cupped her hand around it, feeling the heat of him through the wet fabric. His cock swelled even more beneath her touch, and Noah moaned into her mouth.
She broke off the kiss. “Should we go back to my house? To my room?”
His gaze met hers again, and she knew he understood what she wanted.
Him, alone in that big house. Hot, forbidden sex with her younger brother’s best friend. Right now, before they could change their minds. While they still had the chance to be this reckless.
“Yes.” He dove forward to kiss her again. “Yes.”
They splashed through puddles, hand in hand, cutting through neighbors’ property to get back as quickly as possible.
As soon as they got in the door, she saw the suitcases on the floor. Heard someone rummaging around in the kitchen.
All the heat immediately fled her body.
Noah launched away from her and clasped his hands awkwardly in front of his crotch as her brother wandered in.
“You’re back early.” Danica sounded breathless. She hoped her brother didn’t notice.
Soren sipped a carton of grapefruit juice. “Yep, caught an earlier flight. All I was doing was getting wasted, and you were right Noah, it was kinda lame. Why are you all wet?”
“We were out for a run,” Danica said.
“Yeah, but in the rain? You’re both weird.” He walked away, shaking his head.
That night, she and Noah met outside on the porch after Soren went to sleep.
“That could’ve been really bad,” he said.
“Yeah.” If they’d gotten home before Soren? Her brother might’ve walked in on them stripping each other naked. Or her going down on him in the living room. Because she doubted they’d have made it all the way to her bedroom.
“Think he would’ve forgiven us?” Noah asked. But she could tell by his tone, by his hopeful look, that this was a broader question. Will he forgive us?
“I think he would.” It was possible. If she broke the news in the right way.
She really, really wanted to think it was possible.
“When will I see you next?” he asked.
“I could come back for Thanksgiving. Will you be here?”
He nodded. “I could try talking to Soren before then. If you think we…should?”
“Yeah, I do,” she said, hardly believing they were actually doing this. Trying to make this real instead of a ridiculous fantasy. “I’ll talk to him. It should be me.”
“Okay. But if you don’t, I will. I’ll see you in November.”
“I’ll be thinking of you until then. Every second.”
He smiled his boyish, dazzling smile, stealing one last kiss. This one, a promise. That the next time they saw one another, they wouldn’t have to stop. They’d have as much of each other as they both wanted.