CHAPTER 14
*PAST*
“Aaron’s 18th birthday”
Maya
Cassie and I were in her room. I was putting my things in my backpack while she was chatting. We had just finished a hard studying session. She had a chemistry test tomorrow and we were reviewing everything.
She was worried about the test, but she did well today.
“Are you staying for Aaron’s birthday? He has invited some friends from high school.”
I gave her a look. I was definitely not going to his party.
We weren’t friends, but we weren’t enemies, either. He was a thorn in my side, trying to steal all my academic prizes. We both competed in all the subjects that we shared.
But I didn’t hate him. We had been doing this for so many years that a part of me was a little sad that I wouldn’t have him by my side in college. He made me focus more in high school and gave me motivation. I have to give him that.
He was better at something, though. He had more friends than I did. He was the Golden Boy of this town.
Everyone adored him, while everyone looked at me like I was a nuisance, trying too hard to get out of the hole I grew up in. But that was better than the few looks filled with pity. At least I got some fire in me when I heard them call me trailer trash or bossy. They never called Aaron those things.
“I baked a cake with Dad while he asked me some chemistry questions. Chocolate. Your favorite.”
Mine and Aaron’s.
“I haven’t bought anything for Aaron, and his friends are not mine. He didn’t invite me, either.”
“He doesn’t have to. You’re family. It’s implied that you are invited.”
“I’m not, but that’s very sweet of you to say. You and I have a different type of relationship than Aaron and I have. We’re not friends.”
“You aren’t my friend, either.”
Ouch. “You are my big sister.”
That was so sweet. She always made everyone feel included, which was another of her gifts. I would punch whoever made her feel like she wasn’t enough. “Also, I think Aaron would be more than happy if you stayed for his birthday.”
“How was your chemistry exam?”
I tried to avoid replying or even think about what she had just said. She rolled her eyes and I followed her, going down the stairs.
When we were going through the kitchen toward the door, I found Aaron and his dad putting some snacks on the table.
“Hey, Maya. Have you girls finished the studying session?”
I nodded. “I asked her some questions while baking before, and she seemed prepared. What do you say?”
“Yes, she has studied a lot. She just has to relax a little bit, and she will ace it.”
“Good. Thanks for helping her.”
“No problem.”
Aaron seemed busy with his back to me while mixing something in a box. It was awkward. Usually, when we saw each other in his house or I stayed for dinner, we tried to be cordial, but sometimes that didn’t work. I always wondered if I should behave as we did in school or play pretend.
“Oh, I forgot to grab some stuff from the car. Can you help me, Cassie?”
Cassie and her dad both left the kitchen.
“Happy Birthday, Aaron,”
I said to his back. It was Saturday. Maybe he didn’t want to see me on the weekends. And on his birthday. For a moment, I thought he didn’t hear me.
Then, he cleared his throat and said, “Thanks, Amery.”
So, we were on last names, which usually meant we weren’t playing pretend. “Are you staying?”
he asked, his back still to me.
“Oh, I thought I wasn’t invited.”
He turned around and looked at me with a frown. “I mean, Cassie told me that I could stay, but you never said anything. I get it. We aren’t friends.”
He looked down and nodded.
The silence was loud.
Was I rude?
It was so hard to understand what other people thought. I wasn’t the best at reading other people’s minds. For some reason, reading Aaron was the hardest. Cassie was easier. She said everything without thinking too much about the consequences. If she valued you, she told you over and over again with words, gifts, and hugs. If she didn’t, you would know, too.
But Affable Aaron was friendly to everyone. He was kind and considerate to everyone. He was always doing the good thing—the Golden Boy. He wasn’t mean to me, by any means. That would be underneath him. But he did spar and challenge me.
So, in a way, I supposed he was showing that I wasn’t his favorite person by any means in his own way, like Cassie did in hers, or like I did in mine.
“You are more than welcome to stay. Some friends are coming in an hour. I—”
“Shit, shit, shit.”
Aaron and I left everything and went running to the door. Carlo jumped up when he saw us next to him.
“Is everything okay, Carlo?”
Aaron asked, looking his brother up and down.
“Yep, everything’s great.”
“Then why were you cursing? You never do.”
He looked to his side and waited a bit before replying, “It’s something that I’m trying.”
I tried not to look too closely at how Carlo was hiding his hands in his pockets, not wanting Aaron to realize his brother was probably hiding something for his birthday.
“You’re nailing it, Carlo.”
He looked like a deer in the headlights. “Aaron, I need to ask you something,”
I said, touching his arm, trying to get him to stop looking worriedly at his brother. He looked down at the place where we were touching and then to me. He blinked a couple of times.
“I wanted to ask you something,”
I said again, without removing my hand from his forearm. “In private.”
He gulped. I moved and he followed my lead until we were back in the kitchen and his back was to the door. I saw a running Carlo climbing the stairs. I looked back at Aaron. He had his cheeks rosy and his eyes were the bluest, standing out in all the big darkness of his pupils.
“Is everything alright, Maya?”
My mouth was dry. I nodded. He didn’t move. I didn’t either. I looked down, and he wetted his lips. Pretty, pouty lips that seemed so soft. I looked up to his eyes again. His gaze surprised me. I had never seen that expression on him. Not once since we had met each other. Not towards me, and thankfully, not towards anyone else.
Desire.
A sound got me out of my stupor.
I parted myself from Aaron. I felt a weird sensation; my cheeks were on fire.
Was I blushing?
I got out of the kitchen and splashed my face with cold water.
I decided to stay after talking with Eve and Cassie. His siblings made things a bit less awkward, and I didn’t mind that some of Aaron’s friends thought it was weird that I was at his birthday party.
It was something that I was regretting after less than an hour of being in a circle surrounded by our classmates.
“We should play spin the bottle.”
No. Even Aaron looked terrified.
“No way, it’s disgusting to play that game with your siblings in the room,”
Cassie said. Thank you.
“Then seven minutes in heaven,”
he said, looking at her, moving his eyebrows.
“That’s even worse, pal.”
“Your siblings aren’t going to know what you do in the closet.”
“Yuck. Not even worth replying.”
She was the best.
“What about the coin game?”
Lucy asked.
“What’s that?”
Cassie asked.
“Someone asks you a question in secret, in your ear, and you have to give the coin to the person you think is the answer. Then, you choose heads or tails. The person throws the coin, and you tell them the question if they guess right. If they don’t, you don’t tell them. So, the other person never knows if it was good or bad, or why you gave them the coin.”
“Uh, that can go bad quickly, but I’m in,”
Cassie replied with a bright smile. I was just a tiny bit scared.
Lucy was the first to go because she knew how to play. She told Aaron to come to the corner so no one could hear. It wasn’t required to do so. It was just a game, but he did, and she got close to his side.
She whispered something in his ear. Aaron had to bend so she could tell him. She even put her hands around his ear. I wanted to roll my eyes so bad. Aaron found me looking and kept our gaze until I turned around. When I looked again, she was still whispering.
Everyone knew she has a crush on Aaron. What I didn’t get was why they weren’t dating. She was very pretty with her smooth, dark hair and bronze skin. She was a cheerleader with tons of money, a new shiny car, and expensive clothes.
She was also very smart in math, getting the third position in class below Aaron and me. She seemed very sweet and probably was. She wasn’t the worst with me, but she was mean and let her friends be even worse.
Apparently, she decided it was enough after reciting a whole sonnet to Aaron in his ear. They both sat back. Aaron was in front of me, and she was to his right. Lucy was blushing and putting her hair behind her ear. Aaron seemed to be very shy now.
What could she have asked?
Aaron looked at the coin, moving it between his fingers, deep in thought. Then he raised his head, and we locked eyes. He stretched out his left arm with the coin between his index and thumb fingers and put it in front of me. He stopped looking at me, and I grabbed the coin. Our hands touched. His fingers were warm, and the coin was a little sweaty.
“Heads or tails?”
his raspy voice asked.
“Tails.”
It was almost mechanical, the movement of throwing the coin in the air.
Heads.
It was just my luck; I wanted to know. Aaron’s shoulders seemed to relax. She looked at her friend, and then at Aaron and me, like they couldn’t believe it. Lucy seemed almost sad.
I didn’t pay much attention until it was my turn again.
Peter came to me and also took me to the corner. Aaron should have had his back to us, but he was looking straight at us while Peter asked me the question, “Who would you kiss?”
I felt cold. I should have seen this question coming. It was childish, really. It could have been worse.
I passed my eyes across the circle of classmates. I didn’t like the idea of kissing any of them. Well … if I was truthful, the only one that I would choose would be Aaron. I could put my pride and all our games aside and say that Aaron was very handsome. With his dark hair and blue eyes, he looked like the romantic interest of one of those high school TV shows. I didn’t want to say the question out loud if he won the round.
It would be embarrassing, and people would think I had a crush on him. Which would be entirely and irrevocably false. It was just that he was very attractive and kind, infuriating and bright, always knowing which buttons to press to make me jump and trying to beat me in everything. It didn’t help that he had a smirk that could make me crazy, and those dimples that—
“Maya, who are you choosing?”
It didn’t matter if I chose someone different; they would think I had a crush on that person, and there was no way I was choosing another of the Willow clan. They were like siblings to me. I sat and gave Aaron the coin. Again, our hands touched, and now I was the one with sweaty hands. Aaron tried to make eye contact, but I avoided it. There was a fifty–fifty chance that this could end in nothing. He maybe wasn’t going to know that I would choose to kiss him in this room. I mean, we were in a group of twenty people. That was hardly anyone.
“Heads,”
Aaron said in a raspy voice. He threw the coin and put his hand on top of it when it landed on his right hand. We made eye contact. Was he enjoying seeing me squirm? I’d bet he was. He raised his left hand slowly. He was enjoying this. When his full smile came, I knew I was fucked. Both dimples and all. He looked like he had just won the lottery.
“No way. Let me see. You’re cheating.”
I rose and went to see the coin without taking my eyes off his hands. He usually played fair, but you never knew. I almost threw myself at him. I wanted to tackle him to the ground. He continued to smile and looked all smug. He let me see it—it was heads.
Just my luck. I didn’t know what he chose me for, but he would learn what I chose him for. Maybe I should have chosen someone else. This was embarrassing. I wasn’t going to listen to the end of it. His smile started to fade.
“That bad, huh?”
“The question was, who would I kiss.”
He looked like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth.
Speechless.
I was trying hard not to blush. I didn’t want Aaron to know, but I wanted my classmates to know even less. They were ruthless, and I didn’t want to give them more ammunition or bring more focus to me. Aaron kept looking at me, still not saying a thing. He was blushing, and that made his freckles more noticeable.
His eyes were so blue you could feel like you were drowning in them. I realized then that I was still very close to him. More than I should have been, with one of my hands almost touching his.
Someone laughed. Loud. His friends were here.
“I mean, I should have seen that coming. That the banter was making you all horny. The only thing that could turn on someone like you is debating chemistry,”
Christine said. People laughed. “You fucking freak. You still haven’t got it in your head that you are trailer trash, and that this family is doing their charity work with—”
“Shut the fuck up. Don’t talk to her like that. You are the only one who’s trash with your mean-girl attitude. She’s part of our family.”
I couldn’t believe all that came from Evelyn. She was usually the quiet one. Always trying to keep the peace or blend in. “You wish you were half as good as her. I—”
“Out.”
That was the only thing that Aaron said. He was looking at me. He looked murderous. I had never seen him like this, and he was referring to me. I didn’t want to ruin his birthday. I shouldn’t have agreed to come. My stomach was hurting, and my heart was beating very fast. I didn’t want his hate. “Everyone out now.”
Wait. What?
“You already heard him. Why the hell are you still in our house?”
Eve screamed.
They thought it was a joke. They were looking at each other without knowing whether to get up and leave, or to laugh. Me neither. The Willows looked like they were ready to start to throw stuff.
Aaron didn’t look like the Golden Boy right now. He looked mean and angry, as if smoke would come from his ears.
I didn’t want this for him. It was his eighteenth birthday. He should be having fun and laughing with his friends, not coming to my rescue. It wasn’t worth it.
It wasn’t the worst they had ever told me, but I didn’t expect them to say it in front of everyone. Normally, they were more discreet. Even good, sweet Lucy laughed at it. I got up from the floor and decided to leave before I could say a word. Aaron put me behind him. “I’m not going to repeat myself.”
“Aaron, come on, it was a joke. You know Christine has a dark sense of humor. She doesn’t mean it. Maya isn’t mad. She knows it’s how Chris is. Right, Maya?”
Lucy tried to intervene.
“Don’t talk to her. Apologize.”
Christine was fuming. She was going to be extra cruel this next week.
“Aaron, let’s forget this happened. It’s your birthday. Let’s open the presents. Wait until you see what I got you. You’re going to love it. I mean, I hope—”
tried Lucy.
“You laughed,”
he said with venom.
“It was a joke…”
Her lower lip trembled.
“It wasn’t funny. If you find that funny, we can never be friends.”
“What? You’re being unreasonable. This is not fair.”
“You are the ones not being fair.”
“Stop being a knight in shining armor. She’s not a damsel in distress. She’s not a saint, either. I don’t know what she is even doing here. She was not invited,”
said Lucy.
“She was. You should be the one who was not invited, and you are not invited anymore.”
“Are you kicking your friends for a fucking—”
Christine demanded.
“She’s not worth it, bro.”
Travis laughed. “For twenty—”
“Out!”
he growled before grabbing him by the shirt and pushing him.
Aaron’s dad appeared. “What’s going on here?”
Christine was screaming and Travis threw some vase that was on a table close to the door before leaving. Patrick pushed the table, and the cake fell to the ground. The cake that Cassie and his dad had spent all day making.
“You idiots!”
Cassie screamed. Not even Mr. Willow scolded her for being rude. I couldn’t stop looking at the cake. How could everything turn sour so fast?
“You have the worst friends in the entire world,”
Cassie said on the verge of tears. Aaron didn’t reply.
He appeared in front of me, hiding the cake with his body. I looked up. He was outraged. I knew that technically I didn’t do anything wrong, but it would be so easy, with the fury and heat of the moment, to blame me for it.
I felt guilty even though I knew I didn’t do anything wrong, but I could face his wrath. I got that he needed to blame something. I was bracing myself for it when he touched my hands.
“Are you okay? “ His soft voice didn’t match his angriest face. I nodded. I was stunned. I didn’t want to say that it was nothing, but I didn’t want his pity, either.
I was a strong woman and knew how to defend myself, but for some reason, I was so shocked when it happened that I went mute.
At this point, their words didn’t get to me, but it was embarrassing that Aaron and his family had to hear and see that. Did they believe that for money I did—
But a part of me rebelled at all of this. Why did it matter if he thought that? I wouldn’t be the one in the wrong. I wasn’t in the wrong for not dismissing the insults as just jokes.
What a shit show. I wanted to laugh at the absurdity.
“Maya, is this the first time that they’ve done that?”
Aaron asked. I didn’t reply. “I didn’t know. I—Fuck, you must think that I knew and didn’t care.”
He never said bad words. Today, I saw a version of Aaron that I didn’t think existed. To be honest, I had doubts if he knew about it. He was always so nice to everyone and stood up for those who needed it. I didn’t want to be another of those cases. I knew he did it with good intentions, but I wanted him to continue to behave as he did—no special treatment or dealing with me with gloved hands.
“I believe you. The Golden Boy wouldn’t let that happen on his watch. It’s the student president in you.”
His hand was still touching mine. I tried to force a smile. He was constantly worrying. I didn’t want that for him, even less on his coming-of-age birthday. They weren’t worthy.
“Maya.”
“I should be going. My shift starts soon. Happy birthday, Willow.”
I left before he could reply. Even though I didn’t have his hands on me, I still could feel the imprint of them. I opened and closed my hands.