CHAPTER 16
*PAST*
“A truce”
Aaron
She left with a forced smile and trying to diffuse the situation.
I was still fuming, even hours later, after we cleaned everything and Dad and Cassie remade my cake. I told them that it was okay if I didn’t have a cake or if we bought one. They told me that maybe I could eat it before midnight if it froze fast—if not, tomorrow morning. I knew that my parents knew what had happened.
One of my siblings, or more than one, had told them about it. They weren’t mad at me or them. They didn’t bring it up, either. Part of me wanted them to say something so I could spill all my feelings and angriness, but the other knew that I needed time to process everything before answering questions.
I was mad with my “friends,”
but madder with myself. They all looked like this was not the first time that happened. I was going to class with them every weekday. I was meeting with them now and then. I saw Maya pretty much every single day, and still I didn’t realize she was being bullied.
Did they always insult her like that? Did they spread rumors about that?
I knew I was lucky. We didn’t have money problems. Sometimes I forgot how hard life was for others without that. Maya worked, and her mom, too. Apparently, her dad was the one who couldn’t stay in one job for long. From what I had heard, she still lived in the trailer park.
I had never gone there. I passed close to that part sometimes but never entered the zone. Some were fancier than others, from what I could see from afar. I always assumed hers was one of the fanciest ones.
It didn’t matter where she lived or if she did what they said. Nothing could justify how mean they were. Were they worse behind my back? Probably.
I imagined her being bullied and going through all that hardness alone. I knew we didn’t have the best relationship. She didn’t trust me, truly. I got that. My bad. I messed up and then we become this frenemies thing, but I thought she knew that if she needed anything, she could count with me. She was also friends with my siblings; she could have counted on them. They considered her family.
I wanted so badly to justify not realizing what was happening with my grandpa’s sickness. He had been sicker these past months and we were worried about it. We didn’t know yet how that was going to go. I had had anxiety attacks. I didn’t know what they were at first. I’d thought I was dying. Then a doctor told me about it and then I talked about it in therapy. It helped.
Right then, it felt like the beginning of one. I tried to focus myself on my breathing, doing the technique that he told me. But I still couldn’t let my imagination stop running wild. I didn’t know how far everything went. How Maya was doing right now. How much it affected her.
She always looked so strong and unmovable, like this solid wall. She would hate it if she heard my thoughts. Who wanted to be called a solid wall?
But I didn’t know what could have been without her. She had been my constant in all these years. No matter the problems, I knew I was going to see her and we were going to spar. Didn’t matter if it was about chess, or history, or whatever stupid stuff it was about. She would push my buttons, and I needed to be on my toes to be able to reply with a good comeback. She was such a spitfire, always surprising me with facts and surpassing me.
I worked really hard to get the best grades and did all the extracurriculars, but she made it seem so effortless, even though she was also working. I needed to see her. Talk with her and explain that I didn’t know. She said she believed me, but I needed to talk with her. Make sure she was okay.
I relaxed a little after grabbing money, my keys, and my phone. I had a mission. One foot in front of the other. Breathe in and out. I said that I was going out, but before I could pass the door, my dad stopped me. He seemed worried.
“Where are you going?”
“The bowling alley.”
Maya worked there, but in the food section of it. My dad knew this and got what I wanted to do.
“Okay, drive safe. Can you give Maya the money for your sister’s lessons?”
Dad went for his wallet, but I stopped him. “I have money.”
“Okay. Then tell her to come have dinner whenever she wants.”
I nodded and left.
The drive was a bit relaxing. The music. The air in my face. It felt nice. It helped that I was excited to see her. The parking lot had a dozen cars. It was Saturday night. She was probably busy, but I would wait until the end of her shift.
The bowling alley was the first thing you saw. The neon colors weren’t as bright as some years back. Some of the paint was chipped. The smell wasn’t the best. Stale. I continued until I got to dinner. It was a typical American diner—big couches facing each other with a table in the middle, pink, whites and black everywhere.
I hadn’t been here in a long time. I had never been the biggest fan of this food, but the milkshakes were fine. There was a waitress in the same uniform that I remembered—with rollerblades, too. When we came once here years ago with my sister, she thought they were the coolest ever.
I asked the waitress about Maya. I told her I was a friend. At first, she was curious and reluctant to tell me anything, but if she was working, I would see her sooner than later.
“You are one of the Willows, right?”
“I am, ma’am.”
She was in her mid-twenties with her red, curly hair that was put in a big bun. “Brother of Niko, huh? What’s his deal, anyway?”
I didn’t want to open that can of worms. Luckily, Maya appeared. Her hair was put in a bouncy ponytail. The uniform was the same as the other waitress, but she looked so cute in it. It was a blouse and a skirt long enough that she could roller blade without being scared of showing anything. With the rollers on, she was eye-to-eye with me.
Maya was one of the tallest girls in our class. We fought for years to be the tallest, until I got my growth spurt and it was clear there was no way she was going to win me. “Maya, Niko’s brother was asking to see you.”
Putting it that way…
“I wanted a milkshake.”
She looked at me. She didn’t know what to do but forced a smile as I followed her around a corner. She gave me a menu before leaving.
“Are you here really for a milkshake?”
“I wanted to talk, too.”
“I’m busy.”
“I know. I’ll wait.”
“My manager—”
“You won’t even know I’m here. Don’t want to cause you any problems, Amery. Just came for some good old chocolate milkshake, if she asks.”
“That’s what you want?”
I nodded. She wanted to ask more but left. She skated like she did everything: smooth, efficient, pretty. There was no doubt that Maya was a gorgeous girl. Sometimes it hit me, and other times I didn’t pay attention.
What I meant was that in moments like where I just saw her with the uniform, it hit me like a ton of bricks how pretty she was. Or when we were in the middle of chess and she had that smile that showed that she was about to call checkmate. Or when we were in class and she got this determined look that she was about to kick someone’s ass. Or when she was wearing those shorts last summer…
The thing was, I have always known that she was very pretty. In fact, my first thought of her was that she was stunning. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen.
At that time, it didn’t mean a lot. I hadn’t seen that many girls. But with time, I got into a public school and into extracurricular activities where I had to be with other girls. Then I realized that she was still the most beautiful. That meant a lot. Even with time. With changes. All those teenager hormones, and changes, and cringe moments, and she was still the most beautiful. But what was even harder was that that wasn’t even what brought me to her the most.
I thought my self-preservation had kicked in and tried to convince my brain that yeah, Maya was a goddess, but we needed to get over that because she was also ruthless. And if we wanted to get on with our lives, we needed to get over it. But again, sometimes it hit me again, and it made me nervous. She was so out of my league.
Luckily, I never saw her with guys. Never saw her kiss someone else. For a moment during my party, I thought I would have to see her kiss one of those stupid guys. I was more worried about that than about seeing my own siblings kiss them. Even more than kissing someone for the first time. For one moment, I thought of saying yes to playing.
There had been a chance—a small one—that the one I’d had to kiss would have been Maya. And I couldn’t say that I hadn’t thought about how that could feel. But then again, I was a rational guy. At least, most of the time. I was also a math guy. I put everything on odds, and the chance of the game going how I wanted was pretty much zero, while ending up being hurt was very big.
There was also the part about me having my first kiss in front of everyone. In front of Maya or at Maya, but in front of everyone. Siblings included.
So, yeah, I said no, but then the coin game became my favorite one after Maya said that she would choose to kiss me. I would choose to kiss her, too. I mean, it shouldn’t have meant a lot because apparently she didn’t even like the friends that I had invited. So, it made sense that she would choose me.
The other options weren’t much better. But my brain was screaming, She chose to kiss you in a room of people. And that made me nervous.
She returned with my chocolate milkshake. I said thanks and tried to appear as casual about everything as possible. People were finishing eating and some were just seated. Families. Groups of friends. Maya and her coworkers were efficient. She was up and down, coming and going. Grabbing a big metal plate that looked like it weighed a lot. I didn’t know how many days she had spent working here, but she seemed to know what she was doing. She was a professional.
She did this after school, even with homework and all the extracurriculars that we had. It was crazy. I didn’t have a lot of free time and was sometimes overwhelmed by all of it, while she did it like it was second nature.
It surprised me how little I really knew about Maya. I mean, I did know a lot of things, like her birthday, and where she lived, and her favorite books and subjects, and that she loved to start her chess games with a very specific move.
That she had patience, and was working, and her favorite singer. But outside of school, I didn’t really know her.
I had heard rumors about her parents and that she didn’t have a lot of money. Even though she never talked about it, it just hit me how much. I mean, I didn’t even know that she was being bullied in school and we were sharing classes and classmates. I felt horrible about it.
“Are you sure that you want to spend your birthday here?”
She was next to me with her notepad open. I nodded. She looked at me weirdly. “Do you want another milkshake or something different?”
“What do you recommend?”
“The fries with toppings.”
“That’s the name?”
“Yep.”
“I would like to try it.”
“Great, sir.”
Was it weird for her to be the one that was serving me? Was I making her uncomfortable? I looked at her and she seemed tired, but not mad, or angry, or annoyed. But did I even know how to read her?
She left and appeared after a while with fries. This time, she sat in front of me. The fries seemed to have onions and cheese, and some kind of white sauce. The presentation wasn’t the best. She was looking at me and then to the fries.
“Aren’t you going to try it?”
“Did you put poison on it? Maybe worse?”
She smiled.
“I wouldn’t say if I’d put something on it, Willow.”
“That’s okay, I deserve it if you have.”
I tried them. They were pretty good. She was speechless.
“Do you want some?”
She grabbed a few.
“Look, Aaron, what happened wasn’t your fault. I don’t want you to feel bad about it.”
“Are they mean to you?”
“Aaron, I can take care of myself.”
“I don’t want to sound like I’m not taking responsibility. They were my friends and they were bad to you, but I was not focused. It has been some hectic weeks, and … I should have paid more attention. I’m sorry.”
“Again, it’s not your fault. It all started recently, when Christine came back, but don’t worry. I know how to take care of myself.”
“I didn’t know. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care that they are mean towards you,”
I said, anguished.
“Aaron, you don’t owe me anything. They were the ones that were hateful, and honestly, I don’t care about them. It’s stupid high school bullshit.”
“It’s not nothing. They were horrible. You might not count me as a friend, but I care about you, Maya.”
She seemed surprised by my admission. “Maybe we can be friends. If you want. Get to know each other better.”
***
Maya’s coworker told her to leave early, that she would take care of finishing things. She was looking between Maya and me, trying to read us.
“Have fun!”
she screamed. Maya looked murderous. She knew how to inflate a man’s ego. She had a box in hand and gave it to me.
“For me?”
She nodded. I opened it and there was some chocolate cake in it.
“I didn’t buy you anything. For your birthday. It was the least I could do after the cake fiasco.”
“Thanks, Amery.”
I knew I was smiling like crazy. It was nice of her, and wait—was she blushing?
“It’s noth—”
“You can put the bike on the back of the truck and let me take you home. It’s late. You must be tired.”
“Thank you.”
She wasn’t trying to fight me? I put the bike in the bed, being as gentle as possible while she got inside the truck. I got in and put some music on. I didn’t know what to talk about. Should I ask about work? High school? College? The weather? Definitely not the weather.
“I read your column about the old house close to the Johnsons. I liked it.”
“Oh. Thanks, it was a bit boring to gain the info. It took me three days and a lot of talking. Three gave me their nieces’ numbers.”
Maya laughed next to me. “Grandparents matchmaking. Did you use any of them?”
Was she curious? Jealous?
“I didn’t. Do you?”
“What?”
“Have a boyfriend?”
I was being too direct.
“I don’t. I don’t have the time or the energy for that. Just focused on getting out of here.”
“You don’t like our town?”
“It has its things, but I want to live somewhere else. Going to college far away.”
“Still want to go to Westwood University?”
She nodded. “You will. You’re killing it. It’s so hard to keep your rhythm.”
“Really?”
“Of course. You make it seem like it’s natural. Do you even study? Because I don’t know when you have the time. You are working two jobs plus high school, and all the activities.”
I paused. “You’re unbelievable.”
“It is hard, but my second job is only on the weekends.”
“Wait, you have another job? I thought the second was giving particular classes.”
“I work in a gas station. Soon I will have to stop because finals are coming.”
“I don’t even know what to say.”
An awkward silence stopped the conversation. She broke it.
“When you said before that life has been more hectic. What did you mean? Is everything alright?”
I debated what to tell her. One look at her face and the words came out without thinking it through.
“My grandpa is sick. He’s being treated, but we don’t know yet how everything is going to work out.”
“I had no idea. I’m so sorry, Aaron.”
I nodded and looked ahead. A warm, callous hand surprised me, touching my own. It left as fast as it came.
“You can drop me here.”
It was just the entrance of the trailer park.
“It’s too dark to ride the bike, Maya.”
“Don’t worry, I do it every day.”
She got out of the car and I followed her, helping her get the bike out.
I didn’t want to risk our new truce, so I let it go, telling myself she did this every day.
“Goodnight, Amery.”
“Goodnight, Willow.”