CHAPTER 40
*PAST*
“Rose”
Aaron
Maya was walking side by side with me, her left hand grabbing my right one. It was a starry night, no wind or breeze, but not as hot as in the mornings, either. It was a divine night. Maya and I were closing chapters of our high school era faster than I imagined.
We finally had more time now that exams were technically over, but people were making parties, reunions, and different plans for the next few weeks. I didn’t know how many of them I was going to attend. I was truly happy, but I was scared about the future, about the change.
This was a small town. We knew the neighbors; we found someone everywhere we went. All that was going to change, and yes, I was going to come back to visit family and for holidays and all that, but I was scared that Maya and I didn’t have enough time to build the strong foundations of our relationship before having to do long distance. I know, only ten years in the making.
I still had a tiny bit of hope that I was going to get my acceptance letter for Westwood, but every day was getting less likely. I was angry. I had been working really hard for years, and the college that I wanted didn’t appear to want me back.
Maya and I had talked about this. She was the one in this case telling me that it would be okay if we didn’t go to the same college. That it would suck, but that we could make it work. I was grumpier these days. The idea of not seeing Maya every day was a horrible one. I realized that it affected me more than the day that she didn’t call back and then I found her injured. I sometimes had nightmares about it. About what could have happened if I hadn’t gone.
But I was trying to let all of this go so we could enjoy these moments that we did have. I was nervous because this was one of the few times when Maya and I had been together and alone outside my house. With the chaos of our finals, and the extracurriculars, and her jobs, it was hard to spend time alone as a couple. I was antsy because I wanted to kiss her, but these days I was always trying to wait until she made a move.
There was also the fact that we hadn’t made each other come like we did since being the cabin. She did come gloriously once while rubbing herself on me, both clothed, but that was the closest we had come.
I was nervous because I didn’t want to mess it up. I wanted these moments to be perfect. As perfect as possible so our foundation could be as strong as possible in case we were going to do long distance. Well, maybe even if I was lucky enough to get selected for Westwood, that we wouldn’t need that foundation.
I mean, we were going to be in a new place with new people. What if we didn’t fit together? What if she found someone else? What if I had to watch while she fell in love with some—
“Aaron, are you alright?”
Maya asked, stopping in her tracks and looking at me intensely. “You were lost in your thoughts.”
I nodded and faked a smile, but it was not good enough, because even when I tried to walk, she continued to be stuck in place. “Remember, communication.”
I was going to brush it aside, but I decided to be honest. She was right. We needed to communicate.
“I was thinking of what would happen when we go to college.”
“You were thinking of bad-case scenarios, from your face.”
I nodded again. I thought for a beat.
“I was thinking about how different it could be from as it is right now. About you … with someone else.”
She looked at me swiftly.
“I understand what you are saying. I’m scared, too. I know that there are going to be a lot of girls after you.”
I rolled my eyes. “What? I’m being honest. Look at you, Aaron. But I do trust you. You have only given me reasons to trust you, and if we were able to get better after the months that we have had, then I think we can do college without any problems. I have never wanted someone else. I told you that. I thought I was wired up differently for a while. Then you were the only one that could make me want something else. I wasn’t having crushes or kissing others because I wanted you. I was, in my own way, trying to get your attention. Even if it was competing. Probably not the most romantic way, but—”
“That’s the way to my heart.”
Her eyes were so bright.
“You have my heart, Aaron. I believe in us, and I will work very hard to continue to have you in my life. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Me neither, my love. I don’t want to be someone or something more that you have to work hard for. You work too much already. I want to be your safe space. I want you to know that if you feel tired or sad or anything, you can count on me.”
“Aaron, that’s beautiful. I—I want the same for you. We need to trust the other and each other, and just hold tight, and we’ll get out of this more than okay.”
“Yes, and we need to think of all the cool amazing things we are going to do.”
“Well, I’m going to be working and studying, so not really the coolest experience. Also, I don’t see ourselves getting drunk or high or doing crazy stuff.”
I laughed.
“Yep, I don’t even drink. Much less get high, so…”
“It’s true. I have never seen you drink.”
“I don’t want to. I mean … it’s just that I don’t think it’s for me. To be honest, I heard rumors about your dad. Nothing crazy, just a couple of comments about how he did have a problem with alcohol. I asked Niko what it meant and he told me a little about it. I know that my parents drink sometimes and they don’t have a problem with it, but it stuck with me and it didn’t have any allure for me. And then when I saw him that day … Let’s just say that I don’t want to even try it.”
“But your parents drink, and they don’t behave like that or have a problem.”
“I know, but it did cause you pain.”
“It did. That’s the reason why I don’t drink, and because I’m scared to end up like him. He wasn’t always like this, you know? I don’t remember much from when I was a kid, but I remember that he used to play with me outside. He taught me how to ride my bike. He was very patient with me. I fell, and he told me not to cry, that crying was for the weak and lazy. To dust myself off and continue.”
“I mean, not the healthiest advice to suppress your tears, but I’m happy that you have good moments with him.”
“Me too, even if that makes my feelings difficult. It’s even worse with my mom, because for a long time we were like best friends. She was my idol, working very hard to try to get us a bigger house. Like she was bigger than the world. I have so many good memories with her, and now she doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s embarrassing. Aren’t parents supposed to love their kids more than anything? She threw me away like a crumpled-up piece of paper.”
“I really thought that she would call you sooner. That she would try to get your forgiveness by now.”
“Me too, but we both were wrong. I also still don’t know from where she got the book.”
“Maybe we will never know. At least it’s back. My dad sent it to a specialist, and they told him that it was the real one. That it seemed to be preserved in good condition.”
“What I don’t understand is why not sell it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy that you have it back, but it makes no sense. My father was always after money, and that book could have gotten a lot. My mom was the same. Where was it? And why didn’t they sell it?”
“It’s a very rare edition. It could have been to recognize the book and maybe tell the police. I don’t know. Maybe they were trying to sell it on the low, but no one gave them enough. Or maybe they were waiting for the right time to sell it.”
“All that reasoning could only be by my mom. My father would have sold it without thinking too much, just caring about fast money. If it was him, he would have put it in a bet and lost it in the first hand.”
“Maybe you were being under-sold by your father.”
“Or maybe it’s just too obvious that my intelligence didn’t come from him.”
“Right.”
“Do you think that he was smarter back then? It was almost ten years ago. Maybe it was the alcohol later that made him sloppier. But that means that he wasn’t even back then the father that I thought.”
“Wouldn’t it be worse if it was your mom?”
“You are right. It would. Let’s stop talking about this. What were we talking about?”
“Drinking and why we don’t.”
“Right. I was about to remember.”
I rolled my eyes playfully. “We should make a list of things that we want to do in college, don’t you think?”
“Good idea, but we have to make one before leaving for college. Like in the movies.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know.”
We started to walk again. I knew where we were going. This town only had that many places.
“Like losing our virginities,” she said.
I almost stumbled. I was speechless, and I felt my cheeks getting hotter. My neck and my ears, too. “I—I—”
“I mean, obviously, if you want. I’m not saying, like, now, now. I’m saying before leaving for college.”
Her cheeks were red, too.
“Yes,”
I said too quickly. “That sounds good. Like … I’m making this weird. What I mean is that I would love to.”
She was smiling adoringly. “You’re the cutest.”
“Cute?”
she asked with disgust.
“Cutest.”
“I’m not cute, you are cute, with your good-boy looks and trying to be a shiny knight to everyone, and saying smart, geeky things to me.”
“Oh, I see. If I remember correctly, you called me gorgeous not so long ago and just said that I needed to look at myself. That I would have a long list of pretenders fighting for my hand.”
She made a sound of disbelief.
“Like any of those pretenders are going to be able to get close to you. You’re too busy pining for me to see anyone else,” she said.
“That it is true.”
“Like a lost puppy,”
Maya joked.
“I’m not a lost puppy, Amery.”
“But you are. I actually have thought of you like that more than once.”
“What?!”
She started to giggle. “Maya Amery is giggling.”
She sobered up quickly.
“No, I’m not.”
“But you were. I made Maya Amery giggle.”
“Stop. You make it sound weird, calling me by my full name.”
“It’s not my problem that it’s your name. Actually, that’s not your full name, is it?”
“Don’t you dare, Willow.”
“I wouldn’t, Maya Rose.”
“You dare.”
She attacked me, trying to make me lose my balance and then trying to make me giggle. “Give up; I know your secret spots.”
“You just wanted a reason to touch me, Rose.”
“You need to stop with the name.”
“I think my nickname for you from now on will be my little Rose. So cute. Just like you.”
“You are a little shit.”
“Maybe, but what does it says about you that you are dating a little shit?”
“That you hypnotized me to be your girlfriend.”
“If I remember correctly, you kissed me first.”
I said, trying to ruffle her feathers.
“After you asked, dipshit.”
“What a dirty mouth, little—”
I stumbled, and we both fell to the ground. Luckily, it was on the grass and Maya fell on top of me.
“Is your arm okay? Does it hurt anywhere?”
“I’m fine. My arm is fine. You were the one that took all the fall. How’s your back?”
“Good. God, you scared me.”
We both lifted up and I passed my hand through my hair. She got closer to me and put her hands on my chest. “Aaron, I’m fine, truly.” I nodded.
I closed my eyes and she moved her hands all the way to my neck, touching lightly. Just a graze. Then, she moved them to my cheeks. It felt amazing, the touch of her fingers on my skin. On me. She kept the touch light until she got to my scalp and pulled my hair. I opened my eyes at the same time I moaned. That was hot.
I waited to see what she was going to see now. Her eyes were intently looking at my mouth. She got closer and kissed me. Passionately. We both were getting more and more the hang of kissing. Getting bolder. Fighting each other’s mouths with some sweet kissing in between. We both were kissing with abandon.
There was no one that could see us or stop us. The world was ours and things were good. So good. So tender. So delicate, but so bright and hopeful and beautifully ours. My Maya was kissing me. She was in my arms, and she was holding me with the same fervor as I felt for her. This was it.
We got back close to midnight, after a heavy session of kissing in my car under the moonlight.
The house only had one light on and was completely silent.
Maya’s eyes sparkled with mischief, her lips redder than usual, her hair messy after passing my hands through it for hours.
We did a good job of forgetting about college letters.
We walked through the garden to the main door, holding hands. We stopped at the door. We hadn’t told anyone that we were dating. Except for my mom and Niko, no one has said anything about us.
It all felt so fresh, so delicate, that we kept it a secret. Once we entered the house, we tried to keep things platonic, hands far away from each other, but now, we were still outside the house. Still respecting the boundaries that we had, Maya seemed to be thinking the same.
We both came close at the same time, a well-rehearsed dance, my hands on her waist, hers on my face. Lips touching, softly, deeper. Deeper.
The main door opened.
We separated.
Shocked faces, mouths opened, eyebrows raised, grins everywhere.
My siblings were looking at us.
We had been caught red-handed.
“For how long?”
Cassie demanded seriously. Maya and I looked at each other. I still had my hands on her, and hers on mine. Cassie grinned. “Just to know who won the bet.”