Chapter 6
Six
T uesday night, after finishing up the horse chores, Becky took the small space heater upstairs and used some of the precious heat to warm the area where her shower was.
It wasn’t really a shower. It was an old-fashioned metal washtub with a shower curtain on a wire around the top of it and an old spigot that doubled as a showerhead with hot and cold water that splashed down in it.
She would have to empty the tub when she was done, but it served to get her clean, although this winter, she was embarrassed to admit how seldom she used it.
Not only was it freezing cold in her small apartment, but taking all the layers of clothes off and then having all the work to empty the tub made it so that for her to take a shower, she really, really had to want one.
But she and Rick were going to the snowmobile races tonight, and for some reason, it was extremely important that Rick look at her with…
maybe not love, but admiration or something.
Not disgust. She didn’t want him to wrinkle up his nose and ask her how long it had been since she’d been in her old metal washtub.
Which was how he politely asked how long it had been since she showered.
Snowmobile races were not her favorite, but Rick liked them, so she went with him.
Plus, it was something to do on the long winter evenings, and it got her out of her apartment.
Even though her heart longed to be with her sister, Rita had insisted she was fine and would rather Becky use her favors to have people take care of her horses when the twins were born.
Going out would take her mind off Rita and the cancer and the kids she didn’t know how she was going to afford to care for.
Not that she minded being by herself. She really didn’t. And if she got lonely, her horses weren’t far away.
But the more she thought about it, the more she thought that the one thing she could do to help her sister out was to sell her horses, and it was selfish of her not to.
But selling her horses not only meant losing the best friends she had but also giving up her dreams of having her own business.
It was…hard to think about. Because it was all she had wanted since before she had graduated from high school.
Still, there was no way she could take care of twin babies right now.
So, while she was going to wait to talk to Rodney and see what he said, she was almost certain that that was what she was going to have to do.
Really, she would rather spend the night with her horses than at the snowmobile races, but she bundled up and was waiting at the barn door when Rick pulled up in his jacked-up, tricked-out truck.
He was so proud of it, and he spent all of his extra money on it.
It was part of the reason she figured their relationship hadn’t gotten any more serious than what it had. He didn’t have enough money for a girlfriend and the truck. So, he had Becky, who was an almost girlfriend and was content there, since she didn’t have money for a boyfriend and her horses.
They were very similar in that regard. She was pretty sure that was where their similarities ended, but Rick was nice to her, and he wasn’t a mean drunk, which was saying something, because finding a guy who didn’t consume copious amounts of alcohol any time he wasn’t working was rather hard to do.
Becky had never seen alcohol make anyone act smarter, and she’d seen it make a lot of people do a lot of dumb things. Which was enough to convince her that she didn’t want to have anything to do with it.
But to each his own, she supposed, though there were a ton of biblical principles that she could apply to the idea that one should not indulge.
Regardless, he wouldn’t drink and drive, so he wouldn’t be drinking right now. Although, more than once she’d ended up driving his truck home while he crashed in her driveway until he was sober enough to drive home in the morning.
Hopefully tonight would not be one of those nights.
He pulled up to the barn and laid on the horn.
She hurried out and got in the truck. He preferred not to have to get out. Not only because he would be wearing cowboy boots and it would be slippery for him to walk around in them, but also because it was cold out, and he didn’t like the cold.
She wasn’t sure why he lived in Michigan. He should have migrated to a warmer climate long ago, as much as he complained about the cold.
“Man. It’s colder than a preacher’s wife on Saturday night,” he said as she got in.
“It is chilly,” she said. Rick was not Rodney. She and Rodney had intellectual discussions that were stimulating and fun, they got each other’s humor, and they gently teased each other while never being derogatory toward each other. She had loved their interactions and the friendship they shared.
She would not necessarily call Rick a friend, although she knew if she needed him, she could call him. He might not come, but he was definitely someone she could call.
She didn’t particularly enjoy talking to him, and they didn’t share any of the same interests.
He didn’t care for her Clydesdales at all.
If he liked any horses, they were quarter horses and had to do with the rodeo, although he wasn’t really a rodeo guy.
He was a truck dude. And he was good at what he did.
He was a mechanic, and he worked on other people’s trucks as well as his own.
He wasn’t afraid to work, she would give him that. But he also played hard.
Even as she said it, she knew she was just kidding herself. Rick wasn’t her friend. He wasn’t even an almost boyfriend. He was just the best she thought she could do. After Rodney ditched her, she realized that she really never had another friend like him. She was too…caustic? Determined? Tough?
Something like that. She intimidated men and wasn’t all that lovable. So, when Rick showed a little bit of interest, she jumped at the opportunity. Certainly it was the best she was going to get.
There. That was the honest truth.
“I can’t wait to go. Last week, it was canceled because of the snow, and the rematch between the Green Machine and Buzzyear Blue Boy has been a long time coming. Lavoie just got his machine back up and running last week.”
“Oh,” she said, not really caring but not knowing how to answer him.
He rambled on, and on and on, and she didn’t really have to worry about saying much till they got to the track.
The bleachers were out in the open, and she supposed that’s why the alcohol sales were so good. It was hard to sit there in the cold and dark stone-cold sober.
“You got a problem with driving home, darlin’?” Rick asked as he pulled out a can of snuff and settled a pinch in his cheek.
“No. I can do that,” she said.
She yanked her door handle and remembered just in time that the drop was much bigger than just a little step. She grabbed a hold of the handle and slid to the ground.
“Hey, babe, I’m a little low this week. Would you pay to get us in?
If you don’t, I’m not going to have enough for the alcohol I’m going to need in order to stay warm tonight.
” He grinned at her. “Unless you want to keep me warm.” His voice dropped a little, and she was shaking her head no before he even stopped talking.
Mostly to disguise the disgusting shiver that went through her.
“No, that’s okay. Okay.”
She had her wallet tucked inside her coat pocket, but she’d done that more out of habit than thinking that she was going to need to use it tonight.
Her credit card was maxed out, but she had enough in her checking account to cover the feed she had been planning on buying the next day.
She did some quick calculations in her head, and if she didn’t eat anything at all tonight and didn’t spend any money at the diner when she met with Rodney on Wednesday, she would just be a dollar short.
It would cost her thirty-five dollars if she overdrew her account, and she hated to do that for just a dollar, but…she wasn’t sure what else to do.
“Do you have a dollar in quarters in your ashtray?” she asked as they walked toward the ticket booth.
“Probably. I just threw some change in there. Although, I don’t usually pay with cash too much anymore.”
“Do you mind if I grab four quarters out later?”
He didn’t even ask why. He just put an arm around her and jiggled her, kind of roughly. “Sure, babe. Anything for you.”
He said that, but she knew it as sure as she was standing there that he didn’t mean it.
She would feel ridiculous going to the bank and putting four quarters in her account, but…that was better than the thirty-five-dollar overdraft fee.
Satisfied that she could do it, she got her debit card out and paid for their tickets, and then waited while Rick bought himself a supersized beer, plus the extra-large nachos with cheese, and a bowl of chili.
“Hey, babe. I can’t carry all this. Can you get the nachos?” He grinned at her. “I’ll not ask you to hold my beer.” He laughed, like it was funny. She thought there might be some kind of social cues in there that were supposed to be humorous, but it went over her head.
“Sure,” she said, coming over and taking the nachos from him.
“Oh shoot, babe. I didn’t get you anything. You want something?”
He had a beer in one hand and his chili in the other, and even though he asked her, he kept walking toward the stands fast enough that she had to take a couple of jogging steps to catch up.
She never answered him, and he never asked again.