Chapter Ten Parker
Chapter Ten
Parker
This night is not at all turning out how I thought it would. I thought I would come in here, mingle with the guests while I avoided Noel, auction off the bachelors, then head home to comfort myself with a bottle of wine and fall asleep on my couch for the sixth time this week.
But no.
There was no avoiding Noel. He waltzed into the party looking ridiculously handsome—and completely overdressed—in a tux that clung to every inch of his body he clearly spends a lot of time working on. I knew right then that tonight would be my undoing.
A small part of me was relieved when he followed me into the stairwell. If we were going to talk about my little outburst last week, at least we’d be doing it behind closed doors.
I just didn’t expect to be doing it behind closed doors too.
But he kissed me. He kissed me, and I was a goner—straight putty in his hands. I was wrong if I thought he was a good kisser at eighteen. It’s nothing compared to the way he kisses me now—like he owns me.
Then his touch drifted lower, and there was no way I could tell him to stop. I couldn’t have mustered the words if I tried. The way he touched me with such care and such need ... It was unlike anything I’d experienced before. I’ve made myself come plenty of times on my own, but nobody else ever has. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that Noel was my first. He always knew me best.
“Really, Parker? Five grand?”
I snap back to the present to find Noel grinning down at me as the audience goes wild.
I just bid on Noel.
And I won.
“Little steep, no?”
“It was for a good cause.” I shrug, trying to play it off like I bid only for the theater project and not because I couldn’t stand the thought of him going out with someone else, especially not Leonard Figgins.
Sure, I know it wouldn’t have been an actual date, and I have no doubt Leonard would have spent the entire evening badgering him with questions or trying to get a story out of him, but still, that wasn’t the real reason I bid.
I wanted Noel.
No.
I want Noel.
And all to myself.
He leans down to me, so close his lips are brushing my ear. “You know, Parker, if you wanted me to touch your pussy again, all you had to do was ask. Not pay five grand for the privilege.”
Heat steals up my cheeks, and his words go right between my legs to the very spot he’s talking about.
Do I want that? Yes, please. More than anything.
Am I going to be able to stop thinking about it until it happens again? Not a chance.
Am I completely screwed when it comes to Noel Carter? Absolutely.
I gulp, turning back to the crowd like his words haven’t ignited a fire inside me, and give them the best smile I can muster.
“That concludes our bachelor auction. Fran will be up next to start the raffle, so make sure you have your tickets ready. Thank you all for a wonderful evening.”
The place breaks out in more cheers, whistles, and gushing. The second I walk off the stage, I’m bombarded by folks.
I usually love this. I love being part of such a small, tight-knit town. I love the camaraderie when everyone comes together, and I love their support.
But right now, the only thing I want is the six-foot-four man standing on the stage, smirking down at me with heat in his eyes.
Oh yeah. I am so, so screwed.
I stay late, until the last stragglers are moseying their way to the door.
But it’s still not late enough.
Noel prowls around the room, making small talk with everyone and dumping trash into the bag in his hand.
When he said he would stay to help with fundraising, I certainly didn’t think he meant picking up trash after the event.
I know it’s just his way of staying close to me, though. How could it not be, with him sending looks over here every ten seconds?
“Parker, my dear,” my mother says sweetly as she wraps me into her arms. “I’m so proud of you. You did incredible tonight. You put a good dent in the fund for the restoration.”
“Yeah, but it’s still not enough.”
“No, but you’ve just funded at least two more weeks. Look at the positive side.”
I know she’s right, and I should be happy. But I can’t help thinking that maybe Leonard was right. Perhaps asking the town to help pay for the theater is too much.
Sure, we’re getting discounted labor from my and Axel’s crew, but we still have to pay them, and the supplies we’re using aren’t free. Not to mention the cost of the screen, the equipment for the concession stand, and the chairs, and just overall not making it look like it’s a thrown-together mess—we’ll need at least another $500,000 to finish it out. It’s a lot to ask of anyone, let alone the town that raised you.
“Breathe, Parker,” my mother says softly. “Just breathe.”
I suck in a deep breath, then exhale.
“We’ll talk more tomorrow.” She lets me go, her eyes glassy from the scotch she’s undoubtedly dumped in her coffee over the last few hours.
“Oh, we are definitely talking tomorrow.” I slide my eyes from her to Clifford, who is waiting nearby. “He your ride?”
“He sure is.” My mother giggles like a teenager, and I wave her goodbye.
After saying goodbye to Fran and the rest of my volunteers, there’s just one person left.
Noel.
We work silently for the next thirty minutes, picking up trash, taking down decorations, and moving tables back to where they belong while soft music plays in the background. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but I’ve never been more grateful for it. It’s keeping me distracted from all the naughty thoughts running through my mind, like what would Noel do if I just walked right over and kissed him? Or shoved him into one of the chairs and crawled onto his lap? If I dropped the straps on my dress and shimmied out of it? Would he kiss me back? Would he ravage me the way I want him to?
The soft music that’s been playing in the background comes to a natural stop, and it’s our cue to wrap up the cleaning and get going for the night.
Noel saunters over to me, somehow making carrying a trash bag look like he’s on a red carpet.
“So, Peter.”
I don’t even bother trying to hide my grin. “So, Noel.”
“Do you have any plans tomorrow?”
“I was going to give my cat a bath, but that’s about it.”
“Your ...” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. Did you say you were going to give your cat a bath?”
I lift a shoulder. “Pumpkin’s weird. He loves baths and hates normal cat things. Well, except for destroying any- and everything I leave on my countertops or mantel. He loves doing that far too often. He’s weird.”
“Sounds like it,” he says. “So, cat bath but nothing else?”
“If you’re asking to take me out, I suppose I could postpone Pumpkin’s bath. He won’t be happy about it, but you can explain that to him.”
Noel presses his lips together, smothering a laugh. “I’ll see if I can muster enough courage to break the news to him.”
“Does that mean you’re asking me out?”
“Yes, Parker, I’m asking you out.”
“Where?”
“Pardon?”
“Where do you want to take me?” I ask him.
He laughs lightly, running his hand through his hair in that same nervous habit he’s always had. “I, uh, hadn’t really thought that far ahead.”
“Not the city, please. I don’t think I can handle that.”
“No city, I promise. What about Rockaway Falls? I haven’t been there in ... Fuck, I don’t even know how long it’s been.”
I do. We went for my eighteenth birthday and swam at the waterfall’s base. It was cold because it was March, but we didn’t care. We had fun and spent the whole day out there shivering our butts off, then ended up being late for curfew. My mother gave me concerned looks the rest of the week, and I know now it’s because she was worried we were out there fooling around.
We were, but not in the way she thinks.
We weren’t having sex. We were busy being young and free and having far too much fun for two people with no idea what heartbreak was ahead.
Oh, to be that naive again.
“Rockaway Falls sounds nice. The tourists haven’t started coming in for the season yet, so it shouldn’t be too crowded. I can pack a ...” My words teeter as Noel begins shaking his head.
“Nope. You pack nothing. I’m taking you out on a date. I’ll take of everything. I just need you ready to be picked up by eleven.”
“Oh, thank gosh. Because I really wasn’t planning on getting up any earlier than nine. I need sleep after tonight.”
“Why? Someone wear you out?”
One side of his mouth hitches up in a proud grin, and images of us in the stairwell flash through my mind.
Did someone turn off the AC before they left? Why is it suddenly so hot in here?
I rock back on my feet, the heels I wore long gone and now sitting in the corner. “So tomorrow?”
He chuckles at my change of subject. “Yes, tomorrow. Speaking of, we about done here?”
“Oh yes. We didn’t even have to stay to clean up. They have a crew that comes and does it. I just always feel so bad leaving it trashed, so I ... What?”
His head is tipped to the side, and he stares at me with soft eyes.
“Do I have something on my face?”
He shakes his head. “No. You’re just ...” Another head shake. “You’re something, is all.” He looks around the mostly empty room. “You ready to head out of here, then?”
“Yes, please. My feet need a break.”
Then suddenly, I’m being swept into the air, and I let out a loud yelp at the unexpectedness of it all as I throw my arms around his neck. Noel readjusts me, hugging me close like you see firefighters heroically carry women in the movies.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving your feet a break,” he says like it’s the most logical thing in the world.
He carries me over to the lone chair we haven’t yet put away, then drops me onto it.
“Stay,” he instructs, and I don’t dare ignore his request as he crosses the room and fishes my shoes out of the corner.
He brings them back over, then drops to his knees and wraps his hand around my right calf.
His touch shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t feel a thing, especially not right between my legs. But I do feel it, and it takes everything I have to remember to breathe as he slides my high heel onto my foot.
He does the same with the other, his thumb caressing my leg just a little too long before he drops it back to the floor.
He stands, then reaches for me again, and I hold my hand up.
“I can walk.”
He arches a brow. “Are you sure?”
I laugh. “Yes, I’m sure.”
Still, he offers to help me up, and I accept because I selfishly want to touch him again.
He pulls me to my feet and guides me toward the door, grabbing his tux jacket along the way. He slings it over his shoulder, and I admire him from the corner of my eye. His bow tie—since when did those get so attractive?!—is undone, his sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and his jacket hangs off him so casually. Heck, even my lipstick on his collar is hot.
So, so hot.
“What?” he asks.
“ What what?”
“You were smiling. Do I have something on my face?” He parrots my question.
No, but you have something on your collar.
“Okay, I swear your smile just grew. What are you thinking about?” He mock-gasps. “Are you thinking naughty thoughts, Parker Pruitt?”
I roll my eyes. “Please. You wish.”
I push open the door to the Community Hall, leading us both through. I reach back in and shut off the light, then bend and grab the key cover that looks like a rock and lock the place up for the night before returning the key to its spot. It’s likely a little absurd to anyone else that the key to this place is just sitting outside, but it’s Emerald Grove. Nothing bad ever happens here.
“Can I walk you home?” Noel asks.
“No.”
He chuckles darkly. “Oh, I’m sorry if you thought I was asking, because I wasn’t.”
Sweet crackers. Why is that so hot too?!
I’m still just worked up from earlier. It has to be that.
I point to the other side of the road, hoping that Noel can’t see my finger shaking. “See that plump cat in the window?”
He follows my finger. “I see it.”
“That’s Pumpkin.”
He swings his gaze back to me. “You live across the street?”
“I live across the street.”
“Oh.”
“Oh, indeed.” I echo him for the second time. “So, good night?”
“Yeah. Good night, then.”
He turns on his heel and begins walking away, and I ... well, I can’t believe it.
Is he seriously just walking away? After our kiss? After he had his fingers inside me? After everything ? That’s his response? I can’t believe it. Can’t fathom he’d do such a thing. I hate it and wish I had something to throw at the back of his head as he continues sauntering away.
But I don’t. So instead, I settle for a foot stomp.
He hears it.
He stops, turning back to me, one hand tucked into his pocket.
“Something the matter, Peter?”
“No. Well, no. I ... Yes.”
“Well, which is it?”
I push my shoulders back. “Yes, something’s the matter.”
He marches back over to me, concern woven into his blue-green eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“I just ...” I swipe my tongue across my bottom lip. “Well ...”
“Yes?” he prompts.
I huff. “Aren’t you going to kiss me good night?”
He doesn’t say anything, just stares down at me, his eyes losing all fear and turning darker by the second.
“No.” It’s one word, yet it’s so pained.
“Why not?” I shoot back.
“Because, Parker,” he says quietly, stepping into me until I’m forced to tip my head back to stare up at him. His cologne engulfs me, and I want to pull him closer and press myself against him so I can smell like him the rest of the night. “If I kiss you right now, I won’t stop. And not stopping means I’m going to press you up against this building and fuck you. I really don’t think our first time should be in public or against the Community Hall for the whole town to see, nor do I think you’re ready to invite me into your home, especially not with all the things I want to do to you.”
I gulp, too shocked to respond.
There was no doubt in my mind that Noel would want that, not after tonight. But to just come out and say it so brazenly? I was not expecting that.
He takes another step closer, his eyes boring into me. “Is that understood?”
I nod. “Understood.”
“Good.” He puts distance between us, and I miss his warmth instantly. “Go home. I’ll wait here to make sure you make it safely.”
“All the way across the street?”
“Humor me. Please.”
“Fine.” I walk backward away from him. “I’m humoring. Are you happy?”
“Ecstatic.”
I turn around with a smile, making the oh-so-long trek back to my house, adding extra sway to my hips.
I can feel his eyes on me the whole way. How can a stare I can’t even see be so intoxicating? So thrilling?
“Hey, Peter?” Noel calls when I’m about halfway across Borgen Avenue.
I pause, looking over my shoulder. “Yes?”
“Bring your swimsuit.”
He laughs when my eyes widen, and I scurry along to my house, tucking myself inside and away from Noel Carter before I do something foolish, like invite him in.
I press my back against the door, holding a hand over my rapidly beating heart, trying to calm it down.
It’s not going wild from the walk.
No. It’s going wild for Noel, the thing it’s always done where he’s concerned.
Tomorrow, we’re going on a date.
And I know exactly which swimsuit I’m going to wear.
“I really am sorry about your face.”
I wince, looking up at the three lines cutting across Noel’s otherwise perfectly sculpted cheek. He shaved for the auction last night, and I admit I was a little sad about it. But now, not so much. Not with the stubble that’s already grown in.
He looks good like this. Older. More distinguished. Rugged.
He looks more like the Noel I remember and not the Hollywood version of him I’ve seen for the last ten years.
He ducks under a tree branch covering the trail as we head out to Rockaway Falls, then reaches up and runs his finger over the fresh cut from my cat. “It’s okay. You know, when you said Pumpkin wasn’t like other cats, I thought you might be kidding. But nope. He’s really not like other cats. He’s evil.”
“Well, actually, in that regard, he is like other cats. All cats have a little bit of evil in them. It’s sort of their thing. Like sometimes, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night because I can feel eyes on me, and it’s just Pumpkin sitting in my doorway watching me. It’s eerie.”
“This is why I’m getting a dog if I ever get a pet.”
“You always did want one.”
“Still do.”
“Then why don’t you have one?”
He shrugs. “I travel too much. Don’t think it’d be fair to the dog.”
“You could always be one of those people who takes their dog with them everywhere.”
“Hmm. True. We could travel the world together. See the Pyramids or tour the Mayan ruins. I could get a baby backpack and carry him around whenever his little legs tire. Maybe his own pair of sunglasses so the paw parazzi don’t bother him.”
“That is entirely too much detail for me to think you’re not kidding about this, especially that bit where you think there’s paparazzi for dogs.”
“What?” he asks distractedly, as if he were truly lost in his own little fantasy world. “Oh no. I’m totally kidding.”
He’s not, and we both know it.
Just like he wasn’t kidding about breaking the news to Pumpkin that he wouldn’t be getting his bath today, hence the scratches lining his cheek. He showed up at eleven sharp with a quick knock on my door. I let him in, giving him a short tour of my house, before introducing him to Pumpkin, who promptly swatted at him and slunk off to his bed.
“Stop staring at them,” he says as he expertly navigates us down the beaten path the locals have carved out over the years. He’s walking the trail like he does this regularly and it hasn’t been a decade since he’s been back here.
“I can’t. I feel horrible.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“But maybe it is. Maybe Pumpkin heard me talking about you over the years and picked up on some things, and now he hates you.”
Noel stops abruptly in a narrow spot along the path, and I nearly run right into him.
“What? What’s going on?” I ask, trying to see around him.
He turns, looking down at me. “You’ve talked about me over the years?”
“Oh, that.” I wish I could hide my face right now so he can’t see the pink tinge in my cheeks.
“Yeah. That. So?”
I sigh. “Of course I’ve talked about you. You were a huge part of my life for a long time. Then you weren’t. I’ve complained a lot. I’m sure that’s why he doesn’t like you. Because of how I feel about it.”
“And how do you feel, Parker?” he asks. “Do you like me? Do you forgive me for leaving?”
This isn’t the conversation I planned to have today, but I suppose it needed to happen sometime. I guess now is as good a time as any.
“I ...” I exhale heavily. “I told you last night I was scared when you asked me to come with you, and that’s true. It terrified me more than I care to admit. Because what if you did get tired of me? What if things didn’t work out with us? What if we ruined a beautiful friendship?”
“I don’t—”
I hold up my hand to stop him. “Let me get this out, because if I don’t, I’m not sure I ever will. I’ve only said it once before to ...”
I trail off, not daring to speak Axel’s name because I really don’t think bringing him up on our date would be the best idea, but it doesn’t stop Noel’s jaw from twitching because he knows exactly who I’m referring to.
I push my shoulders back. “All those things scared me. You scared me. You were my person. The most important piece of my life aside from my mother. The last thing I wanted was to lose you in any capacity. But I knew. I knew that if you stayed here in Emerald Grove, you’d hate it and eventually hate me because I was why you stayed. So when you said you wanted to go, I encouraged it. I wanted that for you. But then you asked me to come with you, and I froze. Completely panicked. We’d just kissed for the first time, you told me you loved me, and you were leaving. My head was swimming with so much happening so fast. I couldn’t commit, so I let you go with the promise I’d come to you eventually.
“But when you got to LA and got settled, you asked again, but I knew it was already too late. I could tell you were changing in the few short months you were gone. You were finally in your element, taking classes and working and doing all these auditions. You were happy. And I knew that I couldn’t be the one to hold you back. I couldn’t be the one to keep you from becoming the person you were meant to be. So I stopped calling. I stopped answering the phone. I stopped trying to hold you back because I wanted you to flourish. I wanted you to find everything you were looking for. I wanted you to be happy. And you were. I saw that in the magazines, the award shows, and everything else you’ve accomplished over the years. You got what you wanted, and I’m so, so glad. I just ... I never intended for ten years to go by without a word. But the longer you stayed away, the harder it became to connect the version of you now with the version I know.
“So, yeah, maybe Pumpkin’s heard me complain about you being gone because that part I do hate, but don’t think for a second that I blame you for all this. I don’t. I blame myself. This rift between us is all my fault because I couldn’t grow up. Because I didn’t want to leave behind the safety of Emerald Grove. Because I was too scared to tell you I was in love with you.”
The last words tumble out of me, and for a second, I want to take them back.
Why wouldn’t I? I just admitted to Noel that I loved him.
But then, the weight that’s been on my shoulders since I was eighteen begins to lift, and I don’t want to take it back anymore.
I feel free for the first time in years.
So why do I want to run and hide? Is it because Noel hasn’t moved or blinked and is just staring at me like I’ve sprouted a second nose or something? Or maybe because saying I loved him brought back all those old feelings that maybe aren’t so old after all?
“Look, just forget that I—”
“Stop,” Noel snaps, and I clamp my mouth shut. “Just stop talking.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I—”
Noel’s lips are on mine for the second time in less than twenty-four hours.
His kiss is commanding, like he’s not just kissing me. He’s claiming me. Owning me.
Noel tips my head back, his fingers weaving through my hair and under the bun I have my auburn locks pulled up into as he tugs me closer, his tongue pushing into my mouth and tangling with my own.
He tastes like toothpaste and coffee and regret and hope all rolled into one.
The kiss is hard and fast and over entirely too soon, then he’s wrenching his mouth from mine, his breaths coming hard and fast.
“What was that for?” I manage to get out once I regain my composure.
“Because. We were kids, Parker. Idiots. We led with what we thought the other wanted, and to what avail? Ten years of silence? Ruining a friendship that once meant the world to us? All we did was hurt one another. It’s what we were trying to avoid, but it’s exactly what we did anyway. And I’m sorry for that. So fucking sorry that I can’t even begin to tell you. I’ve spent the last ten years beating myself up over our friendship falling apart and trying to find ways to repair it. I’m not sure we can, but I am sure that I don’t want to hurt you anymore. That I want to be your friend again. I want ...”
“What, Noel? What do you want?”
“You. I want you.”
It’s the same thing I told him last night, yet it still takes my breath away.
“M-me?”
He nods, his lips kicking up into a grin. “Yeah. Is that really so hard to believe?”
“Yes. You’re ... well, you’re Noel Carter. You can’t want me.”
“Oh, but I do, Parker Pruitt. I really, really do.”
His lips drop to mine once again, and this time, his kiss is softer, slower, and sweeter, but still so, so good.
I get lost in it. In the way he touches me, how hard his body presses against me, and how heavenly he smells.
He pulls away when he’s had his fill, rubbing his nose against mine. “Come on. We still have a long hike ahead of us.”
I nod, unable to say anything, too dazed by his kisses.
He’s right. We do still have a long hike ahead of us. We’re stuck together the rest of the day.
And that thought excites me as much as it scares me.