18. Finn
18
FINN
Old flames can’t hold a candle to you.
At first the small museum seemed like something Ori would have hated. The front rooms were old and so country western themed that I half expected him to high tail it out of there the moment we walked in.
There were many paintings and photographs of horses. Cowboys. Tennessee mountains and even hay bales.
But then the tour went on toward the new, renovated portion of the museum, where Ori had said a rich alum had donated to make the place something special.
And I’d never seen a look on Ori’s face like the one he made when he saw their modern paintings room. It was big, beautiful, and seemingly endless, and we were shown around corner after corner, each one having better paintings than the last. I didn’t know shit about art compared to Ori, but I could tell the place was impressive, and when Ori got into conversations about the artists with the tour guide, his face lit up.
My heart soared inside me.
He likes it.
He actually fuckin’ likes it here.
I was a simple man, and if someone I loved was happy, that was going to make me fucking ecstatic. I knew Ori felt like a failure after leaving LA, but if he could work in a place this nice… maybe he could really be happy, too.
There were three levels, and the photography portion and the prints and sculptures area were my personal favorites. The tour guide told us that they rotate their collections frequently, and there would always be new art making its way in.
When we stepped out of the place an hour later, Ori looked like he’d just been on a roller coaster. We got in my truck and he sat in the passenger seat, looking out the front window, dazed.
“Honesty time,” I said. “What did you think?”
He shook his head. “It was incredible,” he said.
But there was a look on his face that… wasn’t exactly happiness.
“So what’s got you lookin’ like you just got bad news?”
A flare of worry sprung up in my chest for the first time all day.
Shit.
What if it wasn’t good enough for him? What if he was already regretting everything, thinking of how much better the places were in LA?
What if my dream was just a fantasy, after all?
“I’m nervous,” Ori finally admitted, looking over and giving me a sheepish grin.
“What for?”
He chewed on his lower lip. “Because I really liked it. And now I’m suddenly afraid I won’t be able to get the position here. It’s paid, and I even got rejected from a volunteer spot at the other place.”
Relief crashed down on me like a fucking avalanche.
All at once I realized the truth: Ori wasn’t getting cold feet.
He really wanted this.
I leaned over from the driver’s seat and immediately pulled him into a kiss. “I love you,” I said against his lips. “And that’s why I’m going to say what I’m about to say, okay?”
I kissed him once more, and he smiled. “What?”
“Shut the fuck up.”
His smile got wider. “Finn—”
“Shut,” I said firmly, “the fuck. Up.”
He was laughing now, finally breaking the nervous tension he’d had since he left the museum.
“What are you trying to say?”
“I know you’re going to get this position,” I said. “That tour guide got along with you so well I swore she was going to give you the job on the spot. And I know that even if you don’t get it, you’re going to find something even better.”
“She did say the director was going to love me,” Ori said, looking out the front window again.
“Damn right.”
“You want to know something?” I asked him. “That video I had go viral last week has over two million views now, and it’s still rapidly growing.”
“Whoa,” he said, his brow furrowing. “Finn, that’s seriously good. I didn’t know it had that many.”
“But you know what?” I said. “I didn’t think it was a good video. I almost didn’t post it.”
“No way.”
I nodded. “Thought the angle was weird, and my voiceover narration was too talkative. But people are loving it. All I’m trying to say is that sometimes the best things come out of nowhere.”
“You’re tellin’ me,” Ori said, reaching over and squeezing my thigh. “Finn, I think I could even be happy working at the diner forever, if it meant I get to suck your dick whenever I want.”
I burst out laughing, leaning back in my seat. “Me too, Ori.”
“Nothing is ever going to be guaranteed,” he said. “But I’m still happy. I’m so happy, and it’s been so fucking long since I could truly say that.”
We gazed out the window for a moment, looking at the cloud-dappled blue sky. It was like a painting in itself, with fluffy white clouds and sweeping views of the far-off mountain range.
I let out a long sigh. “My life really was like black-and-white before you got back. Now it’s all in full color.”
“You’re so kind to me,” he said.
“It’s real,” I told him. “All my days felt the same. The color is back, now, Ori.”
He leaned against my shoulder and I pulled him in close, pulling in the scent of his shampoo.
“More good things have happened here in Bestens than ever happened to me in LA,” he murmured. “Something’s got to be right about that.”
We were at the Hard Spot a week later, shooting the shit with Max and Kane, when Ori took a phone call outside.
He came back in a few minutes later and told me what I’d known would happen the whole time.
“I got it,” he said, incredulous. “ I got it .”
I let out the loudest whoop , clapping, making everyone in the saloon turn my way.
And then I pulled Ori into my arms and kissed him, right there in the bar.
“Whoa there! Hey! What the hell?” Max called out.
“Oh, I see, ” Kane said, less emphatic but definitely still surprised to see us kissing.
It was the first time we’d been at the bar since the day by the tree—and I’d quite literally forgotten that Kane and Max didn’t know about us yet.
“You two are fucking,” Max said, a big smile on his face as we pulled apart. “This makes so much sense. The cat ghost knocked off a little heart-shaped decoration we had in the back, leftover from Valentine’s Day, and I was wondering why.”
Kane snorted. “Or I bumped into the shelving unit, like I always do. But, uh, congrats on finally admitting you’re into each other, guys.”
I furrowed my brow at Kane. “Even you thought we were in love?”
Kane and Max both stared at us. I felt heat creep up to my cheeks, but for once, I was also enjoying the sudden attention.
I felt… proud to be with Ori. Proud to be seen with him, and proud that anyone would have assumed I was in love with him, too.
“I would have put my life savings on it,” Kane admitted.
“Yeah,” Max said. “If you guys didn’t eventually fuck it out, I would have thought something was very wrong with you both.”
Ori leaned against me, and I hugged him from behind. “Seems like we were the only clueless ones,” I told him.
“There was definitely something in the air when you took a body shot of tequila off of him,” Kane said. “Know what I mean?”
Ori and I laughed.
“Tell me about the job,” I said as we sat back down on the barstools. I kept a hand on his thigh because lately it seemed like I really did have to be touching him somehow, at all times.
He looked at me like he still couldn’t believe he’d gotten the job.
I’d known he would. Call it fate or intuition, but somehow, I’d felt it, when we visited that museum together.
“It’s a minimum 3-year fellowship,” he explained. “I don’t get paid gangbusters or anything, but it’s blocked out for 3 years by the university, guaranteed.”
Little fireworks were going off inside me.
Three years?
Three years, guaranteed, that Ori would be here in Tennessee.
Finally it all crystallized, becoming real in my mind. He actually meant it. He wasn’t just trying to keep me happy, saying he “might” want to stay here.
He was really going to do it.
I nodded, trying my damndest to act composed on the outside when all I wanted to do was jump for joy. I was pretty sure there’s never been anything in my life as guaranteed as that—as knowing, for three years, that my favorite person would be here.
“I hope you like it,” I told him simply. “I want you to be happy. You deserve that, you know.”
I leaned in to kiss him, hoping it would stop me from showering him with too many compliments.
Kane came around our side of the bar again as we leaned back.
“This is a cause for celebration,” he said.
“The fact that they’re finally dating?” Max asked from behind him.
“No, Ori’s job ,” Kane protested. “Round on the house from me, guys?”
“I’ll never say no to that,” I told him.
Max’s words danced around inside me as I watched Kane prepare two whiskey shots for us.
Dating . Is that what Ori and I were doing?
“Finn’s making millions from his videos now anyway,” Max said. “I saw how popular that new one is. Can I be in one of them?”
“I am hardly making millions ,” I told him. “But you can absolutely be in one, if you want.”
Kane pushed our shots across the bar.
The only reason I gave a damn about making some extra cash from my videos was so that I could have what I never had as a kid. Stability. I didn’t want riches or flashy cars, and if I kept making good money, the only real thing I’d spend on would be some land and some horses, one day.
And maybe, someday, a house big enough for two .
“I’ll take a shot with you guys,” Max said.
“Hell, I will, too,” Kane said.
We all lifted our whiskey shots a minute later, clinking them together.
“To Ori and Finn!” Max said before we all tossed them back. In the background, I heard Loretta Lynn come over the speakers, and all across the place I saw people bobbing their heads.
Fuck.
Ori was going to hate this.
But I couldn’t hear “You’re Lookin’ at Country” without singing and dancing, and tonight was no exception.
“I can’t help it,” I told him, giving him a sympathetic look. “You probably hate this song, but it gets me, you know?”
Ori gave me a sly look. “I’m going to admit something to you.”
“You going to admit you’re thinking about leaving town already?” I joked before singing along. “ So I hope you're likin' what you see—if you're lookin' at me, you're lookin' at country. ”
Ori shook his head. “I’ll admit it. I’ve always kind of liked this song.”
I dropped my jaw. “That’s it. Get up and dance with me.”
“Finn—”
“You said it yourself. You like it. I love it. Get up and dance.” I gave him a challenging look. “You won’t do it.”
He puffed out a laugh. “Wanna bet?”
I took his hand and tugged, and finally, he moved, standing up and letting me pull him toward the dance floor. Other people were up and dancing already, including an elderly couple who were getting downright groovy. We mixed in with the group and I sang along, with Ori in my arms.
“You’re doing so well,” I said near Ori’s ear toward the end of the song. “Humoring me.”
“You know,” he said, “I might not ever feel like a country boy. I might hate some things about this place. But deep down? I am a Tennessee boy. Born and raised. And that can mean whatever I want it to mean.”
I held him close, dancing with my arms around him.
He was right.
This place wasn’t perfect, and it might never be. But here with him in Bestens, I had my little pocket of home.
I had people who loved me, and always would. I had the beautiful land all around me, and a life I was finally making my own.
And, against all odds, I had him .
That was worth fighting for.
As the song ended and a slower one came on, we stayed out there, gently swaying with the music.
“What did you think about what Max said about us, by the way?” I asked.
“Wondered if you were going to ask me about that,” Ori said. “Are… are you okay with that? With people thinking we’re dating?”
“If that’s what we’re doing,” I offered.
“You would really want that?” he asked.
“There’s something wrong with you if you think I wouldn’t want that,” I told him. “I’m just not trying to rush you into anything that sounds like… y’know. Commitment.”
“And I’m not trying to rush you into having a boyfriend when you barely liked guys before now.”
I gave him a look. “Maybe I barely liked guys , but fuck, I always loved you.”
A little smile spread over his face. “Then maybe I’m ready for a little bit of settling down, for once.”
“Done,” I told him. “We’re dating. Officially. I’m your boyfriend, and you’re my boyfriend. Holy fuckin’ hell.”
He puffed out a nervous laugh and I squeezed around his waist.
“You look hot when you sing Loretta Lynn, by the way,” he said.
“You look hot all the time.”
It had taken us so long to get here, and I felt like we were only getting started. I’d carve it on any tree or tattoo it on my damn ass, if Ori wanted me to: Best Friends, Tennessee .
Always and forever.
I’d never let myself forget it again.