7. Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Beau
N ova cornered me in the hallway after dinner when I was going to check on Pari.
She had her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised in the way she did when she was about to call me out.
"Why is everyone treating Mira like a stray dog you just let in for the night?" she asked, her tone sharp but not aggressive.
I blinked at her. "What are you talking about?"
She rolled her eyes. "Come on, Beau. Everyone is practically circling her like vultures, waiting for her to mess up. You didn't hear Katya tonight? The way she kept talking about Mira's job at the diner? And Donna can't stop asking when she's planning to leave and then accusing her of being here for money."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. So, my mother was off the mark, but I reined her in, didn't I?
"Nova, I was there, and I didn't hear anything…well, Mama can get that way, but this is a lot for all of us to adjust to."
"I get that, but none of this is Mira's fault," Nova shot back. "She's sacrificed her whole life for your daughter. She's out of her depth right now, and Donna is making her feel it. Trevor and Katya backed off, but Donna…. You need to pay attention."
I paused, narrowing my eyes at her. "And what exactly am I supposed to do? Tell my family to suddenly be best friends with a woman they've known for two minutes? These things take time, Sis."
Nova shook her head, exasperated. "Mira, as you said, is a kid. And she's barely holding it together. She's lost her sister. She's taking care of her niece. And now she's got to deal with feeling unwanted on top of everything else."
"Unwanted?" I repeated, frowning. "No one's trying to make her feel like that."
Nova gave me a look. "Were you not at the same dinner as me? And if she's not unwanted, why is Donna treating her like she's temporary?"
That stopped me. I knew what Nova was implying, but I wasn't sure I liked it. Temporary? No, that wasn't what this was. Mira was here for Pari—nothing more, nothing less.
"Is somethin' else goin' on, sweetheart?" I had embraced Nova as a sister since I found out about her existence. I never wanted her to feel like she wasn't essential to our family.
"No, Beau. This isn't about me." She put a hand on my chest and pushed me a little, with no effect. "I'm friends with Trev and Katya—we've known each other for years. You're you, but your Mama…even though she's accepted me, more like she knew me from before, so she's had less to adjust to. You need to get your head out of your ass and see that Mira is terrified, and your Mama, bless her heart, was a right-on big B to her."
I smiled. Nova had no problems cussing, but she was being respectful to my mother, even though she wanted to kick her ass. She was right, I should've paid attention at dinner, but Pari was…fuck me, the cutest and most distracting thing in my life. Every time she was around, I could see no one and nothing else. I was in love for the first time in my life, and it was fucking fantastic.
"I'll talk to Mira," I finally said. It wouldn't hurt and would probably help. "But seriously, you're overthinking this."
"Can you send me Mira's contact information?" Nova asked.
I blinked at the question and sheepishly replied, "I…I don't have it."
"What?"
I sighed. "She's been at home and …I'll get it, okay? Thanks for wanting to take care of her."
Nova had a big heart, and I was glad she'd take Mira under her wing.
My half-sister was a few years older than Mira but seemingly a lot tougher because she'd accomplished a lot despite being without family, while Mira seemed to be stumbling. The report from my PI was preliminary, but it was evident that Mira had little money, a high school education, and odd jobs as a cook in diners—and that was about it. Her parents were wealthy; her father was a partner at a top white shoe law firm. Asha had done her MBA, and had a thriving career. Mira seemed to have gotten derailed, or maybe she just wasn't book-smart.
After everyone left and Pari was asleep, I found Mira sitting on the wraparound porch outside the guestroom she and Pari were staying in. A baby monitor rested on the table beside her, quietly buzzing. She was still wearing the white blouse with a voluminous maxi skirt she'd worn for dinner. This seemed to be her style—boho chic meets Target or Walmart, if I had to guess. The oversized chair made her look small, fragile, vulnerable. She didn't hear me at first, but when I closed the porch door, she tensed, quickly wiping her face.
Fucking hell, she'd been crying. Maybe Nova was right, and Mama had hurt Mira. I'd have to talk to her and ask her to be kinder to Mira, who didn't deserve my mother's vitriol.
"Mind if I join you?" I asked.
She glanced up, offering a tight smile. "It's your house, Beau."
I took the seat next to her, the silence stretching between us for a few beats before I finally spoke. "Can you tell me why you're upset?"
Mira's smile faded instantly, her face closing off. "I…nothing."
"Come on, darlin', tell me. Is it because of what my mother said?"
She looked so tired and forlorn that I wanted to grab her and hold her on my lap. I wanted to comfort her. This fragile-looking, beautiful woman was being weighed down by her responsibilities. Weak women were not my style. I liked my women tough, strong—who could take on the world—hold their own with me. My protective instincts flared when it was family and friends, but usually without any sexual undertones. With Mira, there was plenty of that, because I wanted to comfort her, yes, but I also wanted to fuck her raw.
She shook her head. "It's just…I miss Asha."
Shit ! She'd just lost her sister, what six months ago? Of course, she was still in mourning, still grieving.
I cupped her cheek and looked into her chocolate-brown eyes. They were so expressive. I could see her sorrow, her pain…and the leap of awareness when I touched her. "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Without thinking about it, I traced her lower lip with my thumb, her skin warm against the palm of my hand, her lips quivered.
She's a kid! You don't sleep with women who are barely able to buy themselves a drink, Beau.
She stared at me for a long moment, her eyes becoming liquid with desire, the chemistry that was flaring between us.
"Your lips are soft," I murmured.
I wanted to kiss her. Taste her. Touch her. I'd held her before, and I'd liked how she felt. She wasn't the kind of woman who worked out and was all muscle. She was soft, supple, giving. She was thin, but it was more because she'd not been taking care of herself, and not because that was her body type. Her breasts were full, pushing against the peasant-style blouse she wore. Her nipples were stiff; I could see them through her bra.
"Beau," she whispered.
"Yeah, darlin'?" I stopped touching her and leaned back.
"I don't want to lose Pari."
"Why would you?" Was Nova right about her feeling unwanted? Fuck . "I know my mother can be a bit much. She's feeling protective. Ah…we recently found out that Nova is my father's daughter with another woman. Nova has been friends with the family for years—but that pushed Mama off-kilter."
My mother was no doormat, but she was usually accepting and kind. I knew this was tough on her, finding out about Nova, and now Pari.
"I can only imagine how challenging all this is for y'all."
She sounded so sincere, so sweet, that I had to hold on to the arms of the chair so I wouldn't grab her face and devour that mouth of hers. "Nova said that you may have felt unwanted at dinner. Did you?"
She shrugged. "I'm used to it."
I frowned. "Used to what?"
She shrugged again, wrapping her arms around her waist, holding tight. "People looking at me like I don't belong. It's nothing new."
There it was—underneath her calm exterior, I could hear the tension. The fragility. I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, trying to figure out how to navigate this. I wasn't good at this stuff. Never had been. Didn't want to be.
But you have a daughter now, and you're going to have to learn to traverse feelings.
"You're not unwanted. You're my daughter's aunt, Mira. You're family." I pursed my lips and blew out some air. "My family is just...adjusting to all of this, same as you."
Mira nodded, her expression distant, like she wasn't really convinced but didn't have the energy to argue. "I get it, Beau. I'm not their kind of person. Hell, I'm not your kind of person, either."
I opened my mouth to respond, but she kept going, her voice soft but pointed. "I know I don't fit here. I know this is temporary—me, being part of Pari's life like this. I've always known. You don't have to sugarcoat it."
I sat up straighter, feeling the impact of her words sink in. "What the fuck? How did you get to thinking you're temporary from what I've said to you? I'm not trying to push you out."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
"You're taking care of Pari and doing a great job of it."
She laughed softly, but there was no humor in it. "A job, huh? Is that what you think I've been doing?"
I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure how to answer her without screwing it up further. "Don't put words in my mouth, Mira."
I didn't know this woman well, which made this intimate conversation all the more likely to go off the rails. I had no idea what triggered her, what made her angry, or what insecurities she carried—though I was starting to figure it out. She'd only been in my life for barely twenty-four hours, and the last thing I wanted was an argument.
She looked down at her lap, her hands playing with the fabric of her skirt. "I'm sorry, Beau. That was rude. I…should get some sleep."
I'd noticed her exhaustion more than once. The way she sat, barely holding herself together, stirred something uneasy deep inside me.
"I know you're dog-tired," I said, keeping my tone soft, which wasn't a hardship. I wanted to take care of this gorgeous woman. "I know you've been carrying it all on your own, but now you have options. You have the room to figure out what you truly want. It's time to focus on yourself."
Her eyes flicked up to meet mine.
"I don't know how to do that," she whispered. "I don't even know what I want anymore. For the past three years, I've been running, scrambling, and…now I feel like the only person I'm tethered to is Pari, and…."
I stared at her, unsure how to respond. I thought I was offering her freedom, a chance to rebuild her life now that she didn't have to be everything for Pari. But the way she was looking at me, like I was pulling the ground out from under her, made me question everything.
I thought I was trying to make things easier for her, but instead, I felt I was making her feel more alone.
She stood, and her body swayed. I got up and put my hands on her shoulders. "Look at me, darlin'."
She did, her eyes shining with tears that I could see in the porch lights. "Oh, darlin', no crying. There is no need to be sad. I'm going to take care of Pari and you ."
She blinked and licked her lips. "Me? I don't need anyone to take care of me."
I stared at her pink tongue, and that's when my control snapped. I wrapped a hand around her waist, and yanked her close. I could tell myself I was trying to comfort her, but that wasn't the whole truth—I wanted Mira.
Her lips were a breath away, and all it would take was for me to move an inch, and I'd be kissing her. She looked as unsure as I felt, and a wave of affection ran through me. I would've moved away, but she bit her lower lip, the one I'd just touched. There were so many reasons not to kiss Mira, but fuck me , I couldn't resist her. I kept a hand at her waist and moved the other to sink into her lush dark hair. It was silky. Her body fit me like she was fucking made for me—as a man who thought there was no such thing as a fit, this was insanity.
Her nipples grazed against my chest, and I wanted to see her tits. I wanted to fill my hands with them.
She licked her lips again, and her breath was ragged. I brought my lips closer to hers, my eyes drilling into hers, keeping her with me.
Stay, baby, stay with me.
I dropped a hand from her hair to curve her face and at the same time placed my mouth on hers. She opened, letting me in, and I plunged my tongue inside her mouth. She moaned, and I was fucking gone. I tasted her, slow, and then fast. Languid, and then hungry. She wasn't stepping away, she wasn't pushing me away. I felt like I'd won a trophy.
The kiss deepened, evolving into something else, something more. I wanted to move my hand beneath her skirt and see if she was wet for me. She would be. The way she was pushing against me, angling her head so she could get more of me—no way she wasn't damp, open, wanting me to fill her. That thought made me dizzy.
What the fuck? Beau Bodine who had sex all the time was dizzy? Sex was an avocation for me. I enjoyed it and women—but I didn't wax poetic about busting a nut. But then a kiss had never been this intense before, this deep, this fucking satisfying.
She whimpered, and instead of raising my head, I further invaded her mouth, plundering. I wasn't used to not taking who I wanted, and when and how I wanted. I wasn't used to tempering my needs. I wasn't looking for a relationship with women. I just wanted to fuck them, and sometimes, I wanted two women at the same time—but not with Mira. That thought struck me hard, harder than my dick, in fact. I wanted only her. She would be enough, more than fucking enough. She'd be everything.
"Fuck, but you're tempting," I whispered against her ear, my mouth exploring her face. "You're a sexy temptress, aren't you? Teasing me, tempting me."
She froze, went board stiff. Even in my heightened state, there was no way I couldn't feel her complete withdrawal.
I raised my head, not releasing her. "Baby?"
"I wasn't teasing," she blurted out, her eyes big, filled with…fear?
I dropped my hands away from her. Had I misread her signals? Had I forced myself on Mira? Fucking hell! How could I be such an animal?
"I'm so sorry, Mira, I thought you wanted to kiss me and—"
"I did," she whispered, her eyes downcast. "I did want to kiss you. But I wasn't teasing you or trying to tempt you. I…don't…I—"
"Hey, it's okay." I felt relief and regret race through me. So, I hadn't forced her, but she looked just about ready to have a nervous breakdown. Her body was shaking, and this time, when I pulled her into my arms, it was to offer her comfort.
I stroked her back, crooning that everything would be alright.
She clutched my linen shirt and remained still. After a minute, she straightened, and stepped away from me. My shirt was crumpled around where her fingers had dug in.
"You okay?" I asked. I could still taste her in my mouth—her unique flavor that was fresh and citrusy, innocent and sweet.
She nodded and chewed the inside of her bottom lip. I held back a groan. Fuck, I wanted back in that mouth of hers. A part of me was saying that she was Asha's sister, but I'd had sex with sisters before, so, that wasn't it—if this were just casual fucking, it wouldn't be a problem. I couldn't casually fuck my daughter's aunt, the one who'd raised her from birth. Fallon was right, if something went wrong between us, Pari would pay for it.
"I've been better," Mira finally told me. She took another step away from me. "That…was…is…it's a mistake."
The fuck you say?
I mean, yeah, it was, but she wasn't supposed to say that. She was supposed to…what? Want your dumb ass?
"I'm so sorry, Mira. I shouldn't have kissed you." This was my fault. I should've kept my hands off of her.
She smiled. "We both were involved in the kiss, Beau. You don't have to apologize, or do you want me to also say I'm sorry? Because I'm not."
What the fuck?
She gave me a shy smile. "You're very handsome."
I was a grown man. I'd walked the earth. It was rare that I was surprised. This wasn't the response I expected from Mira. I knew she was attracted to me, but I didn't think this mouse of a woman would have the courage to tell me she found me handsome. Maybe I assessed her wrong, I thought, maybe there was more to shy Miss Mira Sen than I knew.
"And you're very beautiful, darlin', but our lives are complicated enough right now without us fuckin', yeah?"
She chuckled then, and I arched an eyebrow. I didn't think I'd said anything funny.
"It was just a kiss, Beau. It wasn't penetrative sex."
Okay, so I really didn't know this woman. Had she just said penetrative sex ?
Before I could say more and shove my foot way down my throat, she raised her hand to silence me. "It was a very nice kiss. Can we leave it at that? Please ."
Women didn't usually ask me to shut up. I wasn't the kind of man you ordered around, and yet, this slender, fairy-like woman was doing precisely that, and for some reason, I didn't mind it. In fact, I liked knowing she could take charge. Would she be demanding in bed? Would she tell me how to eat her pussy? Ask me to fuck her hard ?
My lips curved and my cock went rock hard. "It was a spectacular kiss, darlin'," I said seductively, and was rewarded with a sigh from Mira. "And, yeah, we can leave it at that."