22. Chapter 22
Chapter 22
Beau
I t had been three days since Mira left. Three days since I kicked her out. Three days since I'd had a decent night's sleep. Three days since heartbreak. I had not believed in nonsense like that, but now I did.
I'd read through the reports Mira's parents had given me again and again, and felt like my fucking heart was being ripped apart. I wasn't as angry now as I had been. Mira had been so young, and it was an impossible situation for her. Yet, she could've easily asked her parents to help out but didn't. Why hadn't they just given her the money if that's what she wanted? I had trouble believing that. Hell, I had trouble believing any of it—but only a fool would ignore facts. Anything else, I could be understanding about, but this was Pari. I couldn't put her in danger.
The Sens had asked to see Pari and said they would come to Savannah whenever it was good with me. I'd told them Pari wasn't ready. The truth was, I couldn't stop seeing Mira on her knees, begging me not to leave Pari alone with her parents. That was a bit extreme—but maybe she was afraid I'd learn more truths about her.
I couldn't reconcile the woman I'd gotten to know with the one her parents described. I didn't know who to believe—so I was sticking to provable facts and the CPS report was fact .
Roxy didn't believe any of it—she was Team Mira all the way. She was furious as fuck. She'd called Mira but couldn't reach her as she'd left her phone, the one I bought her in the living room.
"Does that look like someone who wants money?" Roxy had flung at me .
She'd asked me for Mira's burner phone number, but I lied to her, saying I didn't have it. I didn't want anyone in my family reaching out to Mira, falling into her trap. Roxy may work for me, but she was mine, and I'd protect her.
But she wasn't having any of it. Roxy was on a rampage, again . She slammed the pot onto the stove with more force than necessary, her movements sharp, angry. I could feel her hostility radiating through the kitchen like a heatwave. After the first day, realizing she couldn't convince me otherwise, she'd stopped talking to me about Mira, and her silence was louder than any words she could've thrown at me.
"Roxy." I leaned against the counter. "You've got somethin' you want to say to me, darlin'?"
She spun around, her eyes blazing. "Something I want to say? Oh, I have a lot I could say, Beau, but…fuck it." She crossed her arms, glaring at me like I'd committed unspeakable crimes, which according to her I had. "You kicked that girl out without even hearing her side. After everything she did for Pari. And now that little girl can't even sleep."
"She hurt Pari," I snapped back, my frustration bubbling up. "You saw the fucking CPS report. This wasn't some rumor. It's documented."
Roxy took a step forward, her expression hard, unflinching. "That woman gave up everything to take care of Pari. I've seen her with that little girl. There is no way in hell Mira would ever hurt her. And deep down, you know it, too."
I clenched my jaw, refusing to let her words get to me. But they did. They were sinking in, whether I wanted them to or not. "Roxy, what the hell do you want from me?"
"I want you to be a better man!" she shot back, her voice tight with fury. "The way Mira sang Pari to sleep, was so patient with her, always. You saw all that. Mira loves that little girl, Beau."
I swallowed, trying to shake off the doubt creeping into my mind. "Pari's fine. She'll adjust."
Roxy's laugh was bitter, harsh. "Fine? You think she's fine? Go check on her, Beau. She's been crying off and on all day, calling out for Miramashi . She's not sleeping properly, and you're too damn stubborn to see that you made a mistake."
I pushed away from the kitchen counter, feeling desperately broken. "I'm doing what's best for my daughter."
Roxy just shook her head, muttering under her breath as she turned back to the stove, clearly done with the conversation. "You think so? I think you're blind. You fell in love with Mira, and you didn't like it. It scared the hell out of you, and so when her parents—who I think are suspect as hell—came along and gave you an excuse, you got rid of her."
Is that what I'd done? Did I believe them because I was afraid of being in a relationship?
"That's not what happened. I can't have Mira in my house. I can't have her near Pari, ever fucking again . You hear me?"
"I do. I just wish you could hear yourself. I'm going to my place. Goodnight." She stormed out of the kitchen, the porch door slamming shut behind her as she marched across the garden, past the pool, and into her house.
I went to check on Pari and sighed when I heard her soft sobs that cut straight through me. She was curled up in bed, clutching Ghoshu tightly, her face streaked with tears. She'd been sleeping the last time I'd been there, but she'd been waking up off and on at night, wanting Miramashi . I'd tried to get her to sleep with me in my bed, but she'd crawled back to her bed, and looked at me like I'd killed her baby rabbit.
How many days would it take for her to forget Mira?
From the research I'd done and the conversation I had with a child psychologist, not Fallon , these things were not on some timeline. The therapist I spoke with believed that it would take a few weeks for Mira to become a distant memory for my daughter. I wish I could say the same for myself. Every time I walked past the room Mira had been in, I was tempted to go inside and lie on the bed, and take her scent in. So far, I'd resisted it. I felt like a monster, wanting a woman who'd hurt my daughter.
"Pari," I whispered, stepping into the room, a knot forming inside me at the sight of her so upset. "Hey, Angel."
She sniffled, her voice broken and small. "I want Miramashi ."
You and me both, kiddo.
I knelt by her bed, brushing her hair from her damp forehead. " Miramashi is not here, baby."
Pari shook her head, more tears slipping down her cheeks. "I want the song."
That fucking song. She started to cry, soft and pitiful. I closed my eyes for a moment as frustration and guilt crashed together inside me. I had no idea what the hell to do. She wouldn't calm down. She wouldn't stop crying.
Damn it.
I stood up, grabbing my phone from my pocket. I stared at it for a second, hating what I was about to do. But I didn't have a choice. I scrolled to Mira's burner phone number, my thumb hovering over it for a moment, and then hit Call .
This was a fucking mistake, but I couldn't stand to see Pari upset.
She answered on the second ring, her voice quiet, tentative. "Beau?"
I clenched my jaw, kept my tone flat. "Pari won't sleep. She's crying for…for the song."
There was a pause, and I could hear her sharp intake of breath on the other end. "Put me on speaker," she said softly.
I did as she asked.
"Hey, Pari, how are you, my Shona ." Mira's voice made my chest ache. She sounded sad. Tired. Like she was completely drained but forcing energy into her words, hoping Pari wouldn't catch what was so obvious to me.
" Miramashi ?" my daughter whimpered.
"Why are you crying, Pari?" Mira's voice came through the phone, warm, soothing. "I'm right here."
"I want the song."
"Well then, you should have the song."
Pari sniffled, curling back into her blanket as she hugged Ghoshu.
Mira started to sing, her voice soft and melodic, the familiar Bengali lullaby filling the room. The same song that used to lull Pari to sleep every night.
" Ghum ghum ghum, tora shobai ghum ...."
I watched as Pari's eyes fluttered closed, her tiny body relaxing, her breath evening out with each note Mira sang. Within minutes, she was asleep, the tension gone from her little face.
I stood there, staring at my daughter, feeling a myriad emotions. Relief. Guilt. Anger. I didn't know what to do with it.
"She's asleep," I spoke into the phone.
There was a long silence on the line. Then, quietly, Mira said, "Beau?"
I hung up, cutting her off mid-sentence, resisting the urge to throw the damn thing against the wall.
I stared down at Pari, her face peaceful now.
I tucked the blanket around my little girl, and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. I shoved the phone back into my pocket, my jaw clenched so tight it hurt.
What the hell was I going to do the next night, and the next?
I found out an hour later when a message came through from the burner phone. It was an audio file with no explanation. I played it, and it was Mira singing Pari's favorite lullaby. I felt like an asshole as I saved the song, thinking that maybe I should find it on Spotify or something so Pari could hear it but not Mira's voice.
It's not the song, asshole, it's her Miramashi she wants .
And it looked like Mira wanted to care for her niece as well. She'd sent her voice to lull her baby girl to sleep when I couldn't. Tears pricked my eyes, surprising me. I hadn't cried since I was a young child. No fucking way was I going to shed a single tear over Mira Sen. She was out of my life, just the way she was supposed to be.