Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
brIAR
When my alarm goes off on my phone the next morning, my first waking thoughts are about Liam.
No wonder. I’ve never done anything as dirty as asking a man to touch himself in my office before.
I still can’t believe I was so bold with him—or that I stood outside of the door, my ear pressed to the wood, hoping I could hear him running his palm over himself while he thought of me.
That’s something I’d prefer for no one to know, ever.
Oh, God…
Something is definitely wrong with me. I need to tell someone, but I can’t talk to Hannah about this for obvious reasons, and it wouldn’t be right to ask Sophie to keep it secret.
I set the phone down and settle for telling Karma the cat all about it while I do my morning yoga. He is nonjudgmental but seems disinterested and only wants his food. So I feed him and then get ready for the day and head into Silver Star, feeling a strange undercurrent of excitement and worry.
Will Liam mention what happened yesterday?
Should I?
It took me hours to fall asleep last night because I kept running through what had happened in my head, along with every minute leading up to it.
When I get into the office, Liam hasn’t arrived yet, but I find his new rule penciled onto our list—
Definitely don’t kiss your boss. Especially if there’s no HR rep.
A wrenching feeling nearly makes me stumble, but it’s obviously for the best that we both think it’s a mistake. Yes, it felt good to kiss him, but—
No, good is a word you’d assign to a movie or a perfectly in-season pear. A yoga session that leaves you feeling lithe.
Those kisses were amazing. Transcendent, even.
But what we did was also wrong, and I already know from experience that kissing the wrong man always has a price.
Kissing this man again could cost me my best friend. It could also cost me Liam himself, my main ally in running this business. I’d never be able to respect myself if I let another romantic mistake ruin my life.
So I straighten my spine, tell myself again that it’s for the best, and add another rule beneath his:
Definitely don’t kiss your employee. You might have to hire an HR rep.
While I’m writing, a knock lands on the front door, and I nearly drop the pencil. I’m trembling slightly, I realize.
It’s the thought of seeing him again.
But it’s not Liam at the door, it’s Dottie Hendrickson, plus Constance and Ann from her Wise Elders group. They were both part of the sage smudging of the shop a few days back.
“My dear girl,” Dottie croons when I open the door, my hands still clumsy. “Good morning. We feel so blessed to be here.”
I hug her as the other two women pass us and sweep into the tasting room. Constance has a crocheting project protruding out of her bag.
“Thank you so much for offering to help out,” I tell them.
Constance gives my hand a hardy shake. “I’ll do just about anything for entertainment. Since I retired, I’ve been a movie extra, a matchmaker, a crafter, you name it.” She laughs, then steps aside to make way for Ann, who ignores my hand and goes in for a tight hug.
“Oh, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” she says. “You smell good too. Bless you.”
I pull back. “Now, Dottie told me you two wanted to volunteer your time, but I insist on pay—”
“Oh no, baby girl,” Ann says, already shaking her head. “We already discussed this. We’ll only take payment in scratcher tickets. No other compensation will be accepted.”
“Scratcher tickets?”
“Ann thinks she’s going to win the lottery,” Constance says with a snort, adjusting the bag on her shoulder, “and Dottie’s been feeding her delusion.”
“She had a lucid dream about it,” Dottie says emphatically. “She even saw the type of ticket. Big Boy Bucks. They’re real tickets, Constance. Mark my words, it was a premonition.”
Constance clucks her tongue. “She probably knows the name of every scratcher brand in this country. Besides, I had a lucid dream about going to bed with that celebrity bad boy with all the abs, and that’s not going to happen either.
” She pins her gaze on one of the front tables—the same one where Liam told me I was smart and beautiful.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but that chair right there is calling my ass’s name. ”
“Oh, I butt-dial people all the time too,” Ann says as she adjusts her hearing aid. “My son-in-law says it’s because I have a big posterior, so I told him I’d rather have a big posterior any day than a skinny white butt like he has.”
“Oh, for God’s sake.” Constance rolls her eyes as the two of them make their way to the table in question. “If you’re gonna put that ugly thing in your ear, you might as well get some use out of it.”
“He is ugly, bless his heart,” Ann says, stuck on her son-in-law tangent. “Ugly as sin, if you ask me, but my daughter insists he has what it takes where it counts, and they’ve been married long enough that I have to assume she means it.”
Dottie smiles and takes my hand, making no immediate move to join them. “You look radiant,” she repeats. “Did something happen?”
For a second, I consider letting the truth spill out.
But I just shake my head. “No. I’m excited to get started. Otis and the new hires he found should be arriving any minute.”
“Wonderful,” she says with a beatific smile. “You know, I’ve been trying to convince Ann to try that online dating we were talking about the other day. What was it? Flint? Candle?”
“I think you mean Tinder.”
She smiles. “Yes, that’s the one. Have you given any further thought to dating again?”
“Oh no,” I say, thinking of Liam’s lips on my neck, my breasts, my face. I swallow against my suddenly dry mouth. “No, I’m still very much off it.”
But I feel myself flushing.
Dottie gives me a knowing look and then surprises me by reaching out to touch my rose quartz necklace. Sophie, Hannah, and I all have them—Dottie supplied the rose quartz, which was supposed to help us be open to loving again, and I made the pendants.
Those three pieces are the last jewelry I made. I cried the entire time I worked on them, even before Karma scattered the jewelry wire all over floor.
Because jewelry and love were two things I felt had been torn away from me, and in my heart I believed neither would be the same again. Making jewelry, which had always been a creative escape for me, would forever remind me of feeling like a failure. And falling in love would make me feel stupid.
“Of course you’re off dating, dear,” Dottie says.
“You’ve had some bad luck, no question about that.
My first marriage was dull as dishwater, so I understand completely.
I thought I was done with love, but love wasn’t done with me.
And it’s not done with you either. It’s like I’ve said—all signs point to you finding love right here at Silver Star. They have for months.”
Worry swirls inside of me, small cyclones joining to make one massive mess. “No, Dottie, I don’t—”
Someone knocks on the door, and I peer out of the glass and see Otis.
“Ooohoo, men are already showing up,” Dottie says.
I open it too quickly, and Otis practically falls into my arms.
He grins at me and tugs off his stocking cap before turning and gesturing behind him to a group of five women in their early twenties. “They’re all available to work in your tasting room next week.”
A Japanese girl with an adorable pixie cut waves to me with a grin, and another woman, with long blond hair and a nose ring, gives me the stink eye.
A third is on her phone, seemingly unaware that any of us exist, and the two others are studying their three elderly supervisors with suspicion.
One of the newcomers finally peers at me and asks, “Is this, like, some kind of elderly outreach program?”
Constance, who’s still comfortably seated, barks a laugh. “Yes, isn’t it good of them to think of us? I needed a reason to get out of bed. Just wait, girls. Gravity kicks in when you turn forty, and it doesn’t stop kicking.”
“Come in,” I say, giving them a warm smile, my heart beating fast. “I’m Briar. Welcome to Silver Star.”
The women pour into the tasting room, and I direct them to sit at the table next to the one where Constance and Ann are seated.
Ideally, I’d interview each of them and ask about their service experience, but I’m not in any position to make demands. I need service staff, and if they’re willing to put in the time next week, I’ll give them a try.
Last night, I spent an hour writing a motivational speech about being underdogs, inspired by Rocky. I’m deep into it when Liam shows up at the front door with a couple of big sacks of grain slung over his shoulder, wearing no coat over the dark-green thermal shirt that hugs his straining muscles.
He opens the door one-handed, then steps into the room with a gush of cold wind.
Everyone in the tasting room except for Otis shifts in their seat to gawk at him, which is for the best, because I cut my motivational speech off midword.
I clear my throat. “This is Liam, our head brewer—”
We made out in my office last night, and I told him to touch himself in there. Would you like to see where I keep the coffee maker?
“Can I help you carry that?” one of the new hires says.
Liam chuckles, a deep sound that vibrates through the room and my body. “No, this is how I keep in shape. You tell them, Briar.”
“Yeah, he’s always carrying things around,” I say, holding his gaze for a moment.
I can’t tell what he’s thinking, which is frustrating, but then again I can so rarely tell what he’s thinking. He doesn’t wear it, the way Hannah does.
“Can you carry me around?” Ann asks with a broad grin that dimples her wrinkled cheeks. “Sometimes my legs get tired, and my hip might as well be held together with glue sticks.”
Constance mumbles something about selective hearing, and Liam laughs again as he continues on toward the back, giving me one final glance that makes my knees wobble.
I force myself to remember our list.
Kissing him was a mistake, but it’s a mistake we can put behind us. We need to put it behind us—the sooner, the better.
Most of the new hires don’t even pretend to listen to the rest of my speech.
They whisper under their breath and peer at the door leading to the back, probably hoping for another glimpse of Liam in that shirt.
Afterward, they fill out the employment paperwork Uncle John put together, and I hand them over to the wise elders for training.
Dottie gives her sweetest smile as she stands next to their table. “Now, I’m about to teach you how to pour the perfect beer. Once we’ve mastered that, Constance will run you through a few scenarios about how to behave with difficult customers.”
I’m smiling as I walk through the door to the back, but my smile fades when I reach my office.
Liam’s waiting inside for me on the couch by the door. Yes, that couch. His legs are splayed in front of him, his hands woven together.
I swallow my gasp before it can leave my mouth.
“Rocky should get you for plagiarism,” he says with a teasing smile, getting to his feet in a fluid motion. He’s only inches from me now.
“None of it was word for word. I figured they’d be confused if I started talking about boxing.”
He laughs, but it dies away as his gaze darts to my mouth. The way he’s looking at me…
It makes my skin want to be touched and my fingers want to stroke.
I look away. “Well…thanks for checking in.”
He wraps his hand around my chin, turning my face to him.
A gasp escapes me. “You’re being rude.”
“I know. I was rude last night too. It won’t happen again.”
“I know,” I say tightly. “I saw your rule. I added one of my own.”
“Did you?” he asks, his fingers still on my chin. “What did it say?”
I step back, my skin instantly missing the electric sensation of his fingers on me. “It said that I probably should hire someone in HR.”
“Pick Dottie’s friend with the glasses,” he says. “She’d be a great fit. Good instincts.”
“Everything’s a joke with you.”
“That’s why I’d be terrible at HR.”
I glance pointedly at the couch. “It’s not the only reason.”
His laughter fills the room, but I won’t smile at him. Not now.
“It was a good speech, Briar. You’re a natural leader.”
I have to laugh at that. “I have it on good authority that I’m not.”
“Whose?”
I swallow dryly. “My father’s.”
“No offense, but fuck your father.”
A surprised laugh barks out of me.
“This is a clean slate. Your clean slate.”
“This is starting to sound dangerously like a pep talk.”
He smiles, but there’s an edge of sadness to it. “Maybe I wanted my Rocky moment too.” He shuffles on his feet a little, drawing my awareness to his body. I liked the way he felt against me yesterday. I enjoyed it so much it’s filled my mind like a virus.
I don’t mean to touch him. It’s almost like someone else’s hand is lifting to his arm, settling on his hard bicep. “Thank you for caring enough to try. You know…I’ve been thinking about that name tag you were wearing last weekend. You really have been my Mr. Miracle.”
He flinches away as if I’d burned him.
He must see the hurt in my eyes, because he captures my hand in his and squeezes before releasing it.
“I should tell you…I promised Hannah to keep my distance from you. I’m assuming you know why.
I haven’t been doing a good job of it, obviously, but I love my sister.
She was there for me when I needed her. She’s always been there for me. ”
Our eyes are glued together as I slowly nod. “Yeah. I…she asked me to make the same promise. It wasn’t hard to make at the time.”
He smiles wryly. “You didn’t think I was capable of charming you?”
“I underestimated how good your beer was.”
His smile grows wider, and although neither of us moves, we seem to get closer anyway. “So the beer is my only attraction, huh?”
“I’m not the one who said it.”
His lips curl in a way that makes my chest tight. But he quickly sobers, his smile fading. “We should probably avoid being alone together.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Feel free to add it to the rules.”
The smile ghosts over his lips again. He turns toward the door, signaling that our conversation is over, which is probably for the best, but then he turns back around.
His mass seems to alter the gravitational pull in the room. Everything is leaning in toward him, including me. For a long moment, he just watches me, his eyes as hot and unavoidable as the sun. Then he says, “It’s not only the way you look.”
“What?”
“You’re beautiful, Briar. Everyone knows that. But that’s far from the only thing you have to offer. And even though that shouldn’t have happened last night, I don’t regret it. I’ll remember it. I’ll always fucking remember it. So it was worth it for me.”
I stare at the door for a long time after he leaves through it.