Chapter 21 #2
“I trim it myself,” she says in a voice that’s thin but strong. “I don’t want to let anyone else do it.”
I take a moment to try to choke down the feelings rising up in my chest. Anger, of course. Always anger. But also a softer feeling—the kind that can crush a man if he’s not careful.
“The doll,” I say, barely able to get the words through my clenched jaw. “How old were you?”
“Six.”
I release her and grab another pair of gloves—not mine, but I don’t have any patience for retrieving mine right now.
In all honesty, I don’t want to wear any.
I’d like to feel the give of my flesh when the punches land on the bag, but I also have that fight coming up, not to mention all the challenges at the brewery. It’s no time to break myself.
I put the gloves on while I prowl over to the heavy bags, leaving Briar to her bag as I pour my rage into mine. A growl tears out of me as I beat it with my fists, hitting as hard as I can. Needing to get the worst of the rage out.
But I keep seeing the way Briar recoiled from me the first time we were at this gym. It was because of that woman. Melly. That woman’s got no sweetness and light, but she might not have felt bold enough to try anything if Briar’s asshole father hadn’t encouraged her.
They hurt her. They all hurt her and stole from her—her hair, her strength, her safety—and I want to destroy them. The dark need consumes me.
I throw punch after punch, sensing Briar doing the same beside me, and then the seam splits on the old bag I’m going at, and stuffing explodes into the air.
I laugh and edge back, finally looking directly at Briar, who’s staring at me with wide eyes. Her pink lips are parted, and her hair’s a sweaty mess around her shoulders because I forgot to give her the elastic.
“Are you afraid of me?” I ask hesitantly. I don’t want that. That’s the last thing I want. I would die before I hurt her.
“No.” She drops her gloves, which she must have removed at some point. “I’m afraid for you.”
What a Briar answer.
“You think the bag’s going to take revenge?”
She takes a step toward me. Then another, spanning the space between us.
“I don’t like that you didn’t wear a helmet earlier. I hope you don’t do that a lot.”
“Only when I have to save a lady in distress.”
“You save a lot of ladies?” she asks, her voice hardening.
“Most of the women I’ve spent time with lately don’t need saving.”
Her expression falls, and I realize that for the first time in a long, long time, I care what someone thinks of me—and right now, she’s not thinking anything good.
“You don’t either,” I say quickly, tearing the gloves off and letting them drop. “But you make me want to rescue you.”
She reaches for my hands and runs her fingers over them before lifting one of them to her lips. She watches me as she kisses the knuckles. I’ve lost some sensation across my knuckles—too many hits—but I feel every millimeter of her sweet, soft mouth.
I wrap the other arm around her, feeling an impossible need pulse through me.
“You’re not going there for Christmas,” I say. It doesn’t come out as a question.
Surprise fills her eyes. “Why do you care?”
“I just do.”
“I’d be alone.”
“You won’t be alone. I’ll make sure of it.”
She licks her lips, and suddenly I can’t take it anymore. I can’t wait. I can’t hold her at arm’s length, when that’s the last thing I want to do.
“Fuck it.” I weave my hand through her hair, gripping it, and lower my mouth to hers, the way I’ve been dreaming about ever since I kissed her in her office.
She kisses me back, thank Christ, pushing up into me like she wants our mouths to fuse together.
I can’t have her. She’s not mine. But I don’t pull away. I need the feeling of her lips against mine, and the little moans she’s making in the back of her throat. She weaves her arms around the back of my neck and pulls me down to her like she wants to consume me.
She could if she wanted to. I’d let her swallow me whole.
I suck in her bottom lip, then pull away just enough to say, “The bench,” my voice so ragged with need I barely recognize it.
She leans in and kisses me again. I lift her up by the hips, and she laughs into my mouth as she wraps her long legs around my waist. I’m still kissing her as I move blindly toward the bench, sucking on her lips and her tongue.
When I finally reach it, I sit back, lowering her with me, and she’s straddling my dick again, just like the other night.
Her hair is everywhere, and I grab a fistful and tug it lightly as I kiss her, moaning when she presses her hips into me. I break away, my face still inches from hers, and say, “You’re beautiful and strong. They don’t deserve you.”
Wonder is written across her face, and it kills me. I tug her closer, wanting to absorb her pain and kiss every delicious inch of her.
She pulls away slightly, doubt flickering in her eyes. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Oh, I fucking know it. Right now, I don’t care.”
Resolve hardens in her gaze. “This is what I want. This is what is going to make me feel better tonight. We don’t have to make a big deal out of it at work, and…” She sucks her lower lip between her teeth. “It would be better if Hannah never knows.”
“That’s for damn sure.” I pause, studying her, my hand lowering from her hair to her perfectly sculpted ass.
Her legs are still wrapped around me, as if she wants to keep me here and mistakenly thinks there’s even chance in hell I’d willingly leave.
It makes me feel wanted in the best kind of way, even though there’s a warning siren blaring in the back of my head.
The knowledge that this shouldn’t be happening, and there will be a price I might not want to pay.
She said she needs me, though, and I’m not backing away.
My body is the only thing I know how to give people anyway, and if she wants it, it’s hers. For tonight.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I ask.
I already know the answer, but I’d like to hear the words in her sweet voice.
She takes a slow, deep breath, her whole body shuddering against me, then nods. “I want to be with you tonight.” She glances at the door. “Is there…is there any chance someone else will come in?”
My dick instantly gets harder. I didn’t think she meant she wanted to do it in here.