Chapter 22 #2
“If I only get to see you like this once, I want to remember. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. You light up every room you’re in, but not only because of the way you look. There’s something inside of you that does it.”
Hundreds of men have told me I’m beautiful. Tonight, I actually believe it.
He steps forward again and gathers me in his arms. I melt into him, not even wondering where we’re going. It doesn’t matter, really. I’d go anywhere with him.
He carries me over to the boxing ring before setting me down beside it.
“Here?” I ask with a smile as he sets me down.
“Yes. If I have this mental image, no one’s going to be able to stop me. I’ll win every match.”
He pushes his pants down further.
“Take them off,” I say, my mouth dry. “I want to see everything.”
He grins as he does what he’s told, revealing his muscular thighs. Oh God, he’s so beautiful. There’s another Celtic tattoo on his thigh, and his thick cock juts up toward me, making me promises.
My whole life has been a string of broken promises, but not tonight. Please not tonight.
I want this to be my last memory of when I was with a man—not my final time with Jonah. Quick and unsatisfying and…sad. Because I always felt so alone when I was with him.
Sex should never be sad.
Liam may not love me, but he’s already shown up for me more than any other man ever has.
It’s a thought that should be depressing, but right now, it’s not.
It feels like a revelation. This is how relationships should be.
In the past, I just accepted what others gave me, not realizing I could ask for more.
This man has done so much for me.
The way he’s stood up for me over the past two weeks has helped me start to make my vision a reality. Even though he keeps insisting the brewery’s only mine, we’re building something together.
Liam lifts me up by the hips, his big hands spanning across my flesh. My legs wrap around him as he backs up, pressing my back to the insulated ropes around the ring. One of his hands cups my butt, holding me close.
“I’m going to think about you every time I’m in this ring,” he says, leaning in and burying his face in my neck. His teeth graze my skin, and I buck against him, needing more. I want every last inch of him. Every beat of his heart. Every gusting breath. Every curl of ink on his body.
Tonight, just tonight.
“Now, Liam. Please. I need you.”
“Hold onto the ropes like a good princess,” he says, and I grip the top rope with both hands as he reaches down to adjust himself.
He rubs the tip against me, sending a shock wave of pleasure through me that renders me breathless.
Then he slowly pushes in, the pressure catching me by surprise.
He’s bigger than anyone else I’ve been with.
But I’m also wetter than I’ve ever been in my life, so turned on that I already feel on the cusp of coming again.
He moves slowly, getting me used to him, and my body stretches to take all of him. He’s filling me up, and we’re in his gym, and we shouldn’t be doing this. But even though I’ve always tried to follow the rules, it feels so, so good. Better, even, because it shouldn't be happening.
Tears burn in my eyes, and horror ripples through me, because I can’t let him see me cry. I can’t. So I bury my face in his hard chest, kissing him there as he starts moving inside me, the friction of him delicious.
He groans, deep in his throat, and thrusts in hard, making the ropes shake behind me. “God, I’m not going to last long. This is…fuck, you feel so good, Briar. This is like every fantasy rolled into one.”
Something about the way he says it—fantasy—sends spiderweb cracks through my enjoyment.
Fantasy.
Because it’s not supposed to happen, and it won’t happen again. It’s a blip in reality. A mistake even as it’s happening.
But the next time he thrusts in, he reaches for my face and kisses me deeply—and he keeps kissing me as he slows his thrusts, each one so deep I gasp into his mouth. He stares into my eyes as he takes me, my body going liquid with pleasure. It feels like his. And then he stuns me by pulling out.
“Turn around and hold the ropes,” he says gruffly before leaning in and teasing one of my nipples with his teeth. “I need to be able to touch you.”
I turn and do as I’m told, and he leans over me, his big, beautiful body cupping mine.
Seconds later, he’s inside me again, only his hand slides between my legs.
He gently rubs me there as his thrusts turn harder and more possessive, his other hand wrapped around my hip.
His grip is firm, and I know he’d never let me fall. He’d protect me from anything.
I feel myself coming apart, my breath turning loud, embarrassing sounds gusting from me as I tumble closer to the edge.
“Are you going to come for me?” he whispers, his fingers toying with me as he thrusts in again, so big and wide and deep and—
Another strangled sound escapes me as the pleasure takes over, painting over all the dark feelings I’ve had tonight with pure joy.
I clench around him, and he groans, kissing my neck as he thrusts in again, and again, and then harder. But just when I’m sure he’s going to pulse inside of me, he pulls out.
Confused, I turn around and see him moving his hand over himself, his arm flexing. Then he groans as he comes…into his hand.
I know without asking that he purposefully put that distance between us, and suddenly I feel very naked. I also feel like an idiot.
The emotion clogging my throat says this was more than a one-time release for me, but it’s very clear that’s all it was for him.
I force a smile, and he laughs and kisses the side of my mouth.
“Fuck, that was…” He trails off, the smile ghosting off his face, and then nods toward the locker room. “I’ll be right back.”
When he returns, I’m fully clothed.
A few minutes later, I’m clinging to Liam on the bike, feeling like I want to cry. Despite what just happened in the gym, there’s more space between us than ever.
When he parks in the lot outside my building, I half-expect him to take off as soon as I clear the bike, but instead he gives me a severe nod and says, “I’ll see you upstairs.”
“You don’t have to,” I reply, heat burning behind my eyes. I didn’t want it to be like this with him. He’s one of my safe spaces—a person I’ve learned to rely on.
“I know,” he says, some warmth returning to his face. “But if you don’t let me walk with you, I’ll have to follow you to make sure you get in safely. You’ll be saving me from stalking you.”
It’s a lukewarm joke, his attempt to paper over this awkwardness that’s grown between us, but I nod. I don’t want him to go. Not yet. I know that once he does, this divide between us will only crack wider.
“Just be forewarned that my cat hates other men.”
He smiles at me, his eyes twinkling. “No worries. Cats love me.”
I shove his arm, but his double entendre feels like a salt-filled scratch. I’m sure it’s true, and I’m just one in a long line of women who’ve wanted to sleep with him.
I lead the way up the steps, surprised when he settles his hand on my lower back in front of the door. I don’t mean to lean into him, but I feel myself doing it as I unlock the door.
Before I walk in, I peer up at him and find him staring at me, his eyes full of…
I’m projecting.
Liam doesn’t feel longing for anything but solitude. He’s said so on many occasions.
I clear my throat and enter the apartment, caught off guard again when he follows me.
“So this is where Briar Sterling lives,” he says, glancing around.
“Would you like to look through all my drawers like Hannah did?”
He smiles. “Maybe.”
Karma emerges from the bedroom. I’m prepared to grab him when he inevitably starts hissing. But then my cat, who has hated every man I’ve ever brought home and once scratched Jonah’s bare bottom, starts to do figure eights around Liam’s legs as he releases a deep, low purr.
“He likes you,” I murmur in shock.
He huffs a laugh as he reaches down to run his palm over Karma’s soft back. “I told you cats like me.”
When Liam rises, his eyes are fixed on me. I know he’s about to leave, and suddenly my throat feels thick. I don’t want him to go.
So I blurt, “Will you…you said you didn’t want me to go home for Christmas. Did you want to spend it together?”
I know what I’m asking. Hannah said it was his ex-girlfriend’s birthday, and he always gets drunk.
If he spends it with me, then maybe it will mean…
I’m not even sure what I want it to mean.
He works for me, and he’s my best friend’s brother. Trying to date him would be another fatal mistake. It would prove that I don’t have what it takes to succeed.
Worse, I don’t think I could bear to be around him if we tried dating and the relationship failed. I’d have to watch other women flirting with him and know he might choose to go home with one of them.
My tender heart couldn’t take that, so it would be better for him to say no. I’m almost entirely sure I want him to say no.
But when he finally shakes his head, I feel my cheeks burn.
“No, Briar,” he says. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. But I meant what I said. I’ll take care of it for you.”
“I wasn’t suggesting we do this again. I meant we could hang out as friends.”
“It’s still not a good idea.”
So am I nothing to him now that we’ve slept together? Has everything we’ve been building burned to soot?
I want to ask, but I’ve already bared too much of myself tonight.
“What do you intend to do?” I ask. “Hire me a fake family?” I could make him feel better by telling him about Nora’s invitation, but I don’t want him to feel better. I want him to want me more than he wants to be alone.
He lifts my chin so our eyes meet. “Let me handle this.”
“It’s not necessary. I won’t go to my parents’ place for Christmas. You’re right—it would be terrible. But it’ll only be a temporary escape. I can’t avoid my father forever.”
“Why not?” he asks, his eyes flat. “He makes you feel bad. Seems to delight in it.”
I barely hold back from saying that Liam’s making me feel pretty shitty right now, too, after making me feel really, really good. The whiplash hurts so much more than expecting nothing and getting less.
I break eye contact and admit, “I need to have a family dinner with them every week. It’s in the agreement I signed to take over Silver Star. If I start not showing up, he’ll probably sue me for breach of contract.” I force myself to meet his gaze again. “He’d really do it, Liam. I know he would.”
He nods, a hot, angry look on his face. “Okay. I’ll go with you.”
“What?” I stammer.
“The next time you go, I’m coming with you. Every time you have to go, so will I.”
“But you said…”
“I’ll text you about your Christmas plans,” he says, then runs his fingers in a rough caress over my jaw.
I back away. “You don’t need to treat me like I’m a child. I told you I don’t need your help.”
“I’m not being condescending.” His brow furrows. “You deserve to have other people stand up for you, whether you need it or not. That’s all. You’re someone worth fighting for.”
I almost laugh, even though I’ve never been less amused in my life. “Let me get this straight. I’m worth fighting for, but not for you?”
His expression turns agonized, and he fists and then flexes his hands. “Oh, Briar, no. I’m not good for anyone. I don’t know how to care about someone like that anymore. It’s better if we’re just…friends.”
Then he turns and leaves me alone with Karma, and the fear that I ruined everything in my life. Again.