Chapter 28
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
LIAM
I’m sure this makes me sound like the asshole I am, but in the past, it’s always felt like torture to stay over at a casual fling’s house after sex. Like the opportunity cost for fooling around is hours of lying in the dark next to a near stranger. But lying next to Briar feels so different.
I’m not going to lie—I obviously want her again.
But I also want to hold her, to listen to the way her breathing evens out once she’s found the peace of sleep.
I’d like to memorize the way it sounds and the feeling of her tucked up against me.
It might never happen again, so it would be foolish not to soak it up.
Which is why I vow not to waste a minute of the night on sleep.
But sleep must have pulled me under after all, because I’m awoken by Briar whimpering in my arms.
Adrenaline rushes into my system, and I look around for threats, seeing only Karma’s yellow eyes glowing in the dark and the digital face of a clock. My gaze lowers to Briar, snuggled up against me. She whimpers again, her body trembling.
I stroke her hair and whisper, “Wake up, Briar, you’re having a nightmare.”
She continues to tremble, so I turn her in my arms. Her eyes open with a far-off look, and I know she’s still caught in it. So I stroke her hair again, murmuring to her. Seconds later, recognition fills her eyes.
“Liam.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
“I’m glad you’re here,” she says, sounding on the verge of tears again.
I hadn’t liked seeing her cry earlier. It felt like a stain on my permanent record. A verification that I’m pretty good at making people sad without even trying, which isn’t the kind of talent anyone gives out medals for.
But she asked me to stay, and she fell asleep in my arms.
“What was it about, Princess?” I ask, the nickname coming out softer now than it had in the beginning.
“They were cutting my hair,” she says in a small voice. “But it wasn’t just Melly. My father and mother were with her.”
I tense up, my jaw clenching. “They’re not going to touch a hair on your head ever again. I’ll see to that, no matter what happens between us. I won’t let them hurt you.”
“It’s not your job to protect me, Liam. I need to learn to stand on my own.”
“Not my job, no. Consider me a permanent volunteer.”
She smiles up at me, even more beautiful mussed and tired than she is usually.
I have to admit to myself that I could fall in love with this woman.
It’s not rational to love a woman you’ve only known well for a couple of weeks, but I’ve always had big feelings.
My mother used to shake her head about my rages, telling my father it must be from his side of the family, because all of the other kids in her family were quiet and well-behaved.
I figured that was why she left—because Hannah and I had been too much for her, Connor, too colicky.
Three courses of parenthood, when she’d only wanted a taste.
Sometimes life gives you more than you want.
Other times it feels like it will always be less.
I’d loved Julia, but not in the way she’d wanted to be loved, with flowers and anniversaries and parties. My love wasn’t loud—it was steady.
I asked Briar what she wanted earlier because I want to give it to her. Even if what she wants is for us to be friends and coworkers, and for everything else to fade away.
The way I feel about her won’t fade, but I’ll pretend if that’s what she needs, even though I hate pretending.
“You stayed,” she whispers to me.
“I was given little choice. I couldn’t risk being attacked by a featherweight woman. You were very intimidating.”
She snuggles in closer, wrapping an arm around my back. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me for doing exactly what I wanted. It was self-serving.”
“Yes, you’re incredibly selfish.” She tips her head up, her lips only a couple of inches from mine, and by God, I’d like to be selfish. I’d like to take exactly what I need, but I won’t do anything that might cause her more pain.
So I just continue to hold her, my fingers drifting up and down her back.
“You want me,” she says. It’s not a question, nor is it a guess. Lying in my arms right now, she can feel how much I want her.
“Obviously.”
She shifts and presses her hips forward, making me groan. “I want you too. Maybe we’re overcomplicating this.”
“Oh, I think it’s pretty damn complicated.”
Her gaze beats into me. “So why does everything feel less complicated when we’re together?”
I’m not supposed to kiss her again. That’s not why I came here.
I was going to tell her she meant something to me and leave everything in her hands.
But I’m in her bed, and she’s rubbing up against me, telling me she wants me—and I’ve never wanted anyone or anything more than I want her.
Everything does feel less heavy when we’re together.
Her smiles can carry me for hours. Her ideas always light answering fires inside of me. And the way she feels against me…
The way she feels against me defies words. It can only be described as transcendent. It’s the feeling of a dream sliding into reality, of hope swelling after years of darkness.
I lower my head to her, brushing our lips together—just a little taste of what’s been forbidden to me—but the moan she makes has me deepening the kiss.
Her hair falls around me like a curtain blocking out the world apart from us as she kisses me back, and she’s right.
Everything is okay right now. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t supposed to do this again.
All that matters is the two of us on this bed.
She starts moving her hips as she kisses me, and I make a fist in her lush hair, tugging on it.
My other hand finds her hip and guides her movements, because I enjoy torturing myself.
I’m so hard I might actually die if I don’t fuck her—and wouldn’t that be an interesting trip to the emergency room? But I don’t want to rush through this.
She pulls back slightly, her lips pink and inviting, glistening slightly. “Liam…”
I squeeze my fist in her hair. “You can say my name all you want, but don’t you dare say please like you did last time. I’m writing it on the list.”
She laughs. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not ready to come, and if I hear you begging me to fuck you, it’s going to put me right over the edge.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
I pull her on top of me so she’s straddling me, one leg on either side. “Can’t you feel what you’re doing to me?”
The pleased look on her face nearly tears another groan out of me. I like being the reason for that look on her face. I’d like to please her in other ways, always.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she says in a quick rush of words, and I lift my hand to her cheek, cradling it. Feeling…
I’ve never been good at knowing what I’m feeling, but I’m glad I’m here too. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, no one I’d rather be with.
No matter what trouble it causes for both of us, I’m glad I came—and not just because she’s on top of me. It’s the way she’s looking at me mostly, like I could be good news for her. I want to earn that look. I want to help her make Silver Star into the best fucking brewery in Asheville.
I’d want that anyway—it’s been so long since I’ve believed in my work—but I want it specifically for her.
I want Briar Sterling to have everything she’s ever dreamed of. I want to do stupid shit, like reach into the sky and pluck out a star for her, and throw the best New Year’s Eve party in the history of Asheville, even though I’ve always thought New Year’s Eve parties were a joke.
Dammit. She’s still looking at me like that, and the words spill out. “I’m glad I’m here too,” I admit. “I’ve missed you.”
It’s true. I’m usually not aware of missing people until I see them and figure out the void inside of me was shaped like them. But with her…
I’ve felt her absence like a broken tooth (yes, I’d fucking know). Always there, always hurting, particularly since I knew she was hurting.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” she says, her expression tentative, “but I want you tonight.”
I kiss her again and then reach for the hem of her red sleep shirt, pulling it up over her head and tossing it. She’s still straddling me, her golden hair loose, framing her pink-tipped breasts. An angel, down to her soul.
Fuck me, I’m a lucky man. Come what may, I can’t regret stumbling down dozens of wrong paths if they led me to this time and place and her.
“You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” I murmur as I trace her with my hands, following my touch with my lips. I kiss her breasts, taste her nipples, and she holds the back of my head, clutching me to her like she doesn’t ever want me to stop.
Fine by me. I’m a man who knows how to focus when the situation calls for it.
She’s the one who eventually pulls back, but only to say, “I want your shirt off too.”
I grin, because why wouldn’t I be grinning? “You liked what you saw last time?”
“Obviously,” she says with a soft smile, echoing what I said earlier.
I sit up, Briar still on my lap, and tug it off in a quick movement, tossing it. Her palms skim over my chest, trailing fingers across a couple of scars I’ve picked up.
“How’d you get these?” she asks softly.
“By being a dumbass.” I kiss the side of her face, then the little beauty mark beneath her eye. “I got into some fights when I was a kid. Nothing too serious.”
“And this?” Her fingers roam over my tattoo.
“Also by being a dumbass,” I say with a snort. “But if you like it, I’ll be a dumbass again and get another one.”
In response, she leans in and runs her tongue lightly over it. More tattoos it is.
I slide my hand down her thigh, her leg still wrapped around me, then my fingers trail inward. God, I need to feel her slick heat. Her hand instantly descends to my belt, and I take over, suddenly eager to get my damn pants off.
“Take your shorts and pants off,” I say, my voice hoarse, as I set her down on the bed so I can finish undressing.
I watch as she complies, my throat dry as I take in the sight of her—a fucking vision—and then I sit down and pull her back onto my lap, wanting it like this so I can touch every inch of her.
“Liam…I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Neither do I.
I adjust myself, and she sinks down on me slowly, the sensation unreal. My eyes feast on her. I can’t look away from her face, from her needy expression as she takes me, every inch of me burying into her tight, wet heat. A desperate growl escapes me as I grip her hair again and kiss her deeply.
Something inside of me needs this—my mouth on her while I’m so deep inside of her.
She gasps when I’m all the way in and then starts to rock again in a steady cadence that drives me around-the-bend crazy.
The caveman in me wants to pound into her.
To take her. To lay claim to this woman.
But I have a more powerful need to give her pleasure and make this a memory she’ll want to return to once she’s found someone more appropriate, someone who wouldn’t blow her life apart…
I don’t like that thought one bit, so I focus on what’s happening between us to blur it out. Our bodies, rocking together; her lips, seeking out mine again and again. I reach between her legs as we move in sync, finding that perfect spot where we’re joined, making her tremble against me.
Then I rock her all the way back onto the mattress, her legs still wrapped around me, and thrust in deep—again, and again, feeling her rise to meet me, needing this more than I’ve ever let myself need anything.
This feels right in a way that goes beyond the base needs of sex, but it feels fucking dirty too, the way it should.
I could be inside of her all day and night, and it wouldn’t be enough.
I want to lose myself in her and never find my way out.
I want the little sounds she’s making in the back of her throat to be the last sounds I ever hear—and the first sounds I hear every morning.
Her lips find my neck, kissing and sucking, and I hope it leaves a mark. I want to leave my mark on her too, so people look at us and know.
I want them to know.
I especially want anyone who’d be stupid enough to hurt her to know that if they mess with her, they very much mess with me. And they’d be foolish to mess with either of us.
I bury my face in her neck, licking and sucking as I thrust in.
“Liam,” she whispers. “I’m so close.”
So am I. The last time we were together, I pulled out at the end. Not because I didn’t trust her, but because it felt like I’d be making a claim I had no right to make. Today, I’m ready to make that claim.
I shift my head to kiss her as I thrust in deep, and I feel her clench around me—the sensation instantly triggering my own orgasm. Pleasure cascades through me, changing my body chemistry, as I empty into her. Still kissing her. Still sucking in her sweet sounds.
I’ll be damned if it doesn’t feel like something that was broken inside of me is shifting back into alignment.
Earlier, I realized I could fall in love with her, but here’s the truth: I’m already falling.