32. Chapter 32
Chapter 32
Nova
" H ow did you get up here?" I asked, standing at the door of my apartment on a Thursday evening, a week after everything went down with Larue Homes. This building had a doorman; someone couldn't just walk up to my door. But Anson had.
"First, I drove from Sentinel. And then there was some walking involved."
He was in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt like he used to be when I first met him. Since we started working on Sentinel Heights, I'd only seen him in suits. He looked young, younger than his thirty years. There was a boyishness about him.
"Is this funny to you?"
"You blocked me on your phone. What did you want me to do?"
"Stay away from me. That's what I wanted you to do."
"May I come in?"
"No."
"Sugar, we have to talk."
"No." Any minute now, I was going to stomp my feet.
He looked at me, and the next thing I knew, he picked me up and carried me into the apartment. He set me down ,and locked the door behind him.
"Anson, I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to ever see you again. Twice, you've let me down. I don't know what happens to you, but each time we have any kind of sex, which has been exactly twice, I find myself in handcuffs the day after—and not in a fun way." I was screaming now.
"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I'm sorry for not trusting you. I'm sorry for not believing you. I'm sorry for so many things, Sugar, but I'm not sorry for loving you. I'm not sorry for being here to talk to you. I'm not sorry for wanting to make a life with you."
My eyes bugged out. "You have some brass balls on you. Make a life with me? Are you out of your flippin' mind?"
"I love you, Nova."
I took two steps away from him. "You don't even know what that means," I choked out.
"It means that I have thought of you every day for the past seven years. That means that when my unit was ambushed and I thought I'd die, the only person I wanted with me was you. The only person I said goodbye to in my mind was you."
He almost died? Was this when Nina's brother died, and he carried his body to safety so his family could say goodbye to him? I almost lost him, and I didn't even know it.
My God, I knew nothing about Anson. There was a whole life he'd lived that I knew nothing about, and vice versa. He didn't know what shaped me, what made me who I was.
"You left me in that jail cell that day." I let my grief and sadness pour out. "You left me to be raped and maybe killed. You left me again when Savannah PD showed up at my doorstep."
"I know."
"But you saw some dumbass proof and doubted me, didn't you?"
"I did."
"What's left to talk about, Anson? We don't trust each other. Your plan was to set me up. I made sure I couldn't be trapped."
He came to me and put his hands on my cheeks. "I did lay a plan to set you up, but you're smarter than me, definitely smarter than Bailey, who left a trail so clear that the GBI is pickin' her up right now."
It felt good to have him say these things, but I was too broken inside. I was destroyed, and this man was the architect of it all.
My doorbell rang, and I pulled away from Anson. If the front desk let someone up, they were on my list.
I opened the door, and let Luna enter my apartment. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here, Larue?"
Anson smiled. "Hi, Luna."
"What's he doin' here, honey?" Luna asked me.
She was in her usual biker bitch gear, though she had toned down the leather, considering it was spring in Savannah and temperatures were already in the low eighties.
"I have no idea." I closed my front door and leaned against it.
"I'm here to beg for forgiveness," Anson said sadly.
Luna snorted. "Really? After all that you put her through, I expect you to be on your knees crawling, asshole."
Anson looked at me, his eyes on mine, piercing through. "Is that what you want, Sugar? On my knees and crawling?"
It was my turn to scoff. "Like you'd ever do that." Arrogant fuckin' asshole.
I looked away, clenched my jaw, and closed my eyes. I needed him gone so I could find some peace within me. The past few days had been hell and—
"Son of a bitch," Luna gasped.
I opened my eyes, and Anson was on his knees. My breath caught in my chest.
With a look of earnest remorse, he brought his palms together in prayer, bowing his head slightly. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, Sugar. So, so sorry for not listenin' to my heart, for not hearin' yours."
I just stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. I couldn't process what I was saying. The proud Anson Larue was on his knees, begging me.
Luna looked from me to Anson, and then back to me. "Honey, this looks like some kinda kinky foreplay that maybe I shouldn't be part of."
I nodded and moved away from the door.
"Call me and let me know you're okay," Luna murmured as she walked out of my apartment.
"You want me to crawl, Sugar?" Anson asked. He wasn't pretending. He wasn't playing any games.
I shook my head.
"I got no problem doing that for you. I have no pride when it comes to you. I only have love. My heart's full of it and only for you."
I was speechless.
My heart twisted in agony.
And then it stopped when he crawled to me.
I wanted to ask him to stop doing this. Stop making this so hard. We were done. He didn't have to do all this. He didn't have to—
He wrapped his arms around my hips and rested his forehead on my stomach. "Give me a chance, Sugar. Give us a chance."
I stood motionless, shell-shocked. What had just happened?
I pulled away from Anson and saw pain flicker in his eyes. "I can't. I…can't."
"You love me, Nova." He didn't get up; he just stayed on his knees, looking at me with such raw hunger and desperation that I wanted to join him on my knees, hug him, and hold him. He was right. I loved him. Seeing him in such agony made my heart ache.
"I don't know you," I whispered.
"You do."
"I knew a young man…not who you are today."
"Same man, Nova."
I shook my head. "You're harder."
"Because you weren't there."
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This man was being so utterly sweet and vulnerable that it was more than tempting to give in. But I'd learned about loving Anson the hard way.
"Love dies, Anson," I said softly.
"Are you saying your love for me is dead?" His eyes filled with tears, and it was such a shock that I stumbled back and fell onto the sofa. I'd never seen him cry. Never imagined he was even capable of doing it.
"I can't do this," I whimpered. "I don't want to do this."
He nodded sadly. He rose, and I realized that even on his knees, Anson had been who he was—a proud man who believed in taking a moral stand; for standing by his convictions.
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I'm across the hallway, Sugar. You need anythin', you just come knockin'. Okay?"
That pierced through my shock. "What? Who?"
He grinned, mischief in his eyes and he looked like the young man I knew all those years ago. "I moved from Sentinel. That's why it took me a few days to get here."
" You moved?" Never thought I'd hear that.
"I'm selling the mansion."
"Am I in a coma or something?" I looked around. "Maybe all this is happenin' in my head, 'cause that's the only way this makes sense."
"You're wide awake, Sugar, and so am I, for maybe the first time in my life."
"You can't just move into my building, Anson."
"Proof's in the puddin', darlin', 'cause I'm all settled in. The apartment came furnished."
"But why?"
"Can't woo you from Sentinel, Sugar."
With that explosive, threatening, exciting parting remark, he left my apartment, gently closing the door behind him.
What the fuck just happened?