Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Hallie
A ny doubts I’d had about asking Erica for help in picking up my boxes from storage are completely quashed by the time I have the third trip’s worth loaded into my car. The first load had taken me longer than I’d thought to collect, the locker itself hardly having been opened to the light of day for years now.
I’d made the call to Erica to pretty please provide me with both caffeine and an extra set of hands, and she’d delivered without once asking about the contents of each professionally taped brown box.
I was glad for it since the lack of markings on the cardboard and the perfection to which the boxes were taped and stacked reinforced my belief that my parents had nothing to do with packing up our family home.
I’d left for college, and they’d left everything . In no way had it been a shock, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
Julian texting with an accommodation solution had been the silver lining of the day so far. After two hours at the café, searching for a suitable rental, he’d texted with directions to a friend’s pool house I could use, rent-free. One look at Erica told me she’d had a hand in it. She’d probably felt sorry for me, which I hated, but not enough to turn down the offer. Or maybe she was still trying to atone for the ambush at dinner last night. Either way, I was grateful to Jules’s friend and would figure out a way to thank them.
Back in the car, the suspension straining from the weight of more boxes, Erica fiddles with her phone, trying to hook it up to the Bluetooth.
“Should I tell Julian we’ll have you around for dinner tonight?” she asks without glancing at me. “You’re going to have a whole lot of stuff in this pool house, and none of it’s going to be edible.”
“I don’t know, there might be some edible underwear in there from when I turned sixteen,” I reply with a small shrug.
I wipe my hands down the front of my overalls before turning on the ignition. I can’t help but take some pleasure in the way Erica shudders in response.
“Inappropriate birthday gift?”
“Yep. It was all fun and games until I got too scared to put it in the trash when I got home. I’ve had to hide it ever since,” I explain as I move flyaway hairs off my face and behind my ears.
“Well, I’ll take that as a yes to dinner, then. A decade-old candy thong isn’t likely to be filling.”
I turn out of the driveway, and Erica hits Play .
There’s a short break in conversation as music pours from the speakers before Erica asks, “Hal, I know dinner last night caught you off guard, but it’s been a really long time since you moved away. We haven’t spoken about this for ages, but, well, isn’t it strange that I moved here and you’ve never even once asked me for gossip? It’s been four years.”
I maintain my silence, concentrating on the road ahead.
Gossip about Marcus, that’s what she means—about who he is, what his life’s like, and if he’s dating anyone. Part of me is dying to ask. The craving to know about him is a fire inside of me, one I can never seem to extinguish completely. The best I’ve ever been able to do is smother the flames down to glowing embers. The only thing I know is that he isn’t married; there’s no ring from what I’ve noticed. Not that a marriage requires a ring. My mouth dries at the thought.
“I guess all I’m saying is if there is anything you want to know, if there’s anything I can potentially tell you about who Marcus is now…I don’t know. I wouldn’t judge you for anything you wanted to ask, I just want you to be happy while you’re here.”
I let Erica’s words sink in.
Even though I’d been the one to draw the boundaries, asking her not to talk about Marcus, knowing I could ask now and not be judged is a generous gift.
I wouldn’t even know where to start.
Lies .
Erica might not judge me, but I would judge myself if I let the words Did he ever ask about me? slip from my lips . The fact that it’s still the number one question on my mind rips through my chest with a sharp pain.
I clench my jaw so my stupid mouth doesn’t open.
I want to know if he’d ever bothered to ask how I was, if I was okay, if I was happy, if I missed him.
If he’d missed me .
But I’d left it for so long that I worry a tone of desperation would coat my words.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop the big, selfish, emotional part of me that just wants to know .
I relax my grip on the steering wheel, flexing my fingers and making myself take a moment before I decide on my reply.
“Is he with anyone at the moment?” I ask.
I need to make sure that even if I have zero intentions of touching Marcus with a ten-foot pole, our style of banter isn’t going to be hurting anyone else.
That’s my logical reasoning anyway. The illogical reason is that I just want to know.
I cast a quick look toward Erica. If my question surprises her, her face doesn’t show it.
“No. He isn’t seeing anyone, as far as I’m aware. I don’t think Marcus really ‘sees anyone,’ just generally. Jules gives him shit about his hookups, though. Seems like he’s more of a one-date wonder,” she adds with lifted brows. “He’s never brought anyone around to our family dinners.”
“Thanks,” I say with a small nod. My relief eases a tension I hadn’t been aware I was holding. Though I don’t know why I’m surprised, it’s not like I’d imagined him being the poster boy for long-term relationships.
“He’s a builder now,” Erica continues casually. “Has his own company and helped design and build our home. They do boutique work, restorations mostly. Storefronts and hotels, too, sometimes, but he seems to prefer houses.”
I nod noncommittally, glad to hear that, if nothing else, Marcus had had the follow-through to set up his own business, to have created something that’s his and his alone, just like he’d always wanted. Hearing he’d been tenacious enough to go after those things and recognizing I’d never been one of them brings another sharp pinch of pain. It’s a healthy reminder that I’m here for a good time, not a long time. Time enough to tie up loose ends before returning to the home that’d soon be mine. My chest suffuses with warmth at the very thought.
“Are you seeing anyone new?” Erica asks, shifting topics when I give no further comment on Marcus.
I flick her a quick smile. “No, not at the moment.”
“What about Cade?” she probes, referencing my ridiculously good-looking friend.
He’s the Scottish dream, and it’s not the first time she’s asked about my elusive neighbor and landlord.
“No.” I laugh, not bothering to take my eyes off the road. “I have no desire to end up as a notch on his bedpost, and besides, that’s not what he needs from me.”
“Not what he needs?”
I try to explain as succinctly as possible without getting into details that aren’t mine to share. “Cade’s a prickly pain in the ass, but he’s been through a lot. He needs friends, real ones.”
Erica’s forehead creases. “And he chose you?”
I flip her my middle finger. Although, to be fair, it’d surprised me too. I’m not the easiest person to love.
“Actually, it was Cade who called at the restaurant last night.” I let my statement hang, but Erica seems to have taken my lead and simply waits for me to continue. “The paperwork’s been drawn up for the apartment to be sold and no longer be included as part of the building he owns. All I have to do is pay and sign, and the apartment’s mine.”
I can’t stop the smile that hits my lips when I think about the beautifully large sash and case windows and the view of Edinburgh Castle I have in the distance. I was looking forward to waking on brisk fall mornings, snug in my coziest sheets, taking in the view that’d officially be mine. Buying my apartment from Cade, who’d inherited the entire building, would be a big step for the both of us. I’d found myself a place to call home, which was mine and mine alone. It was something that couldn’t be taken from me, and Cade was happy with the promise I’d be sticking around after having lost so much.
“I’m happy for you, Hal.” Erica’s smile is small, but her words are earnest.
I know she’d prefer me to be closer, but it’s never been on the cards.
The rest of the drive is one of comfortable silence, and I’m reminded of the weekend trips we’d made to see Erica’s family for holidays when we were in college, once she’d decided to adopt me as her own. The two of us taking turns driving and choosing between the best and worst of classic pop songs, whatever suited the mood of our current relationship status or life trial. Apparently, not much has changed, as I notice the theme of the songs being played right now, key words such as “my house,” “sweet home,” and “this town” all making a prominent appearance in the lyrics.
“Do you think my subconscious is easy?” I ask, gesturing to the speakers as Erica sings along to the latest home-themed track.
“No, not at all. It’s just nice to have you here,” she responds easily, as if her penchant for making themed and telling playlists is something I’ve forgotten about.
Giving in and wanting to see her smile, I sing along with the songs I can’t help but know so well.
It’s because of this ease that it takes me longer than normal to notice something’s off, that Erica’s fidgeting in the seat next to me. I watch from the corner of my eye as she picks up her phone, tapping out a message before putting it face down on her thigh. However, she keeps singing, so I don’t bring up her unusual behavior.
I don’t have time to worry any further as I pull up in front of the single-story home attached to the pool house I’m staying in. It’s beautiful and modern, with an excess of large windows.
Erica’s phone pings with an incoming text, and I leave her to it. I get out of the car and approach the side gate with its own coded entry system, having already collected the key from Jules earlier.
Through the gate, I’m once again taken away by the sweetness of the place in front of me. The pool house has been built to replicate a mini beach house, its slats painted navy, the edgings in white, with a small path leading toward it, and a few shrubs neatly planted for aesthetic contrast, I’m sure. Except for the stacks of brown boxes I’ve left scattered around in my haste to clear out the storage locker, the space is pristine.
“It looks nice, right? Not creepy at all,” I say as Erica approaches me where I stand just on the pavement. The whole yard is well manicured and absurdly green, with the pool glistening in the afternoon light.
I unlock the pool house door and stand to the side, letting Erica in first, and it’s here I get my first twinge of unease at the fake smile she gives me as she passes. Closing the door behind us, I make my way into the small living space and lean against the wall, something I wouldn’t normally do, but for some reason, this occasion seems to have me feeling a little less than stable.
Erica hasn’t made much of an effort to snoop around or even move past the small sitting area. Instead, she stands looking at me as if she has something to say.
“Okay, tell me, what’s wrong with it?” I huff, annoyed. “You really can’t be upset I’m not coming to stay with you.”
“Nothing’s wrong with it, and don’t be silly. It has nothing to do with that. I can’t believe you even thought it.” Erica says the words, but she isn’t telling me the full truth, and I wonder briefly if I’m asking the wrong question.
“I know it’s not big, but really, the benefits outweigh the cons. The fact I won’t have neighbors and won’t have to share any walls with some stranger is something I’m beyond excited about. Julian did good.”
The positives I list seem to make little difference. Erica runs a hand through her long hair, pushing it out of her face.
“Hal, it’s not an issue with the size of the space or the extra privacy a detached property is going to give you, not in the least.” Erica looks around the small, cozy space. “I actually love it, but you might not want to stay here.”
My stomach sinks. “And why’s that?”
Erica grimaces, both hands lifting, palms forward, as she says, “Look, I need you to know I didn’t have any idea Jules would do this.”
“Do what?” I ask sharply, looking at her for a response.
“I know who owns this place, and so do you.” Erica doesn’t look like she’s finding the situation funny, and my stomach drops further as she continues. “Don’t be mad, and I promise I’m not going to laugh, but Hallie, this place belongs to Marcus.” She points out the window and to the main house sitting in the sunshine on the other side of the now obnoxiously green lawn. “That’s his house right there.”
If I were Erica, I would be pissing myself laughing right now. How she isn’t in stitches is beyond me.
Leaning forward, eyes wide, I ask, “You’re kidding?” even though I know she isn’t.
Fucking Julian.
“Nope, not kidding. Not in any way, shape, or form am I messing with you right now.” She looks so earnest in her seriousness, and I don’t blame her for it. “Hallie, I had no idea Julian would do this, that he’d put you in this situation. But Hal, this is Marcus’s place, and that’s his home, where he lives.”
Where he sleeps , my brain adds unhelpfully.
A wave of sick apprehension rolls through me, and casting my eyes up to the ceiling, I take a deep breath. When it doesn’t work, I try counting down from ten. What else do you do when you’re in a situation like this?
And when neither does me any good, I’m the one to laugh.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, my eyes watering just a little, and I’m so glad Erica follows my lead in laughing alongside me because the only other option would be to cry.
This stupid jet lag is making me crazy.
As soon as I’m able to get myself together, I pick up my phone and click into my group chat with Jules and Erica.
Hallie changed the name of the group text to Dead Man Walking.
Hallie: What did I ever do to you?
Julian: Besides stealing half of my food from ages 7-17?
Hallie: This form of payback feels a little extreme.
Julian: Erica said you needed a place. I knew someone with a place where you could stay. Free of charge, I might add.
Hallie: You think this is going to be free of charge?
Julian: How exactly is he going to make you pay for it?
On my back , I think.
Hallie: Emotional torture.
Julian: I doubt that’ll be the case.
Hallie: But you’re not certain?
There isn’t an instant response, simply three little dots flickering and then disappearing.
Hallie: Jules, does Marcus even know I’m staying here?
Julian: Not exactly…
Hallie: Explain it to me.
Julian: I had the spare keys and now you do? :)
Hallie: Not that I’m against ruining your brother’s day, but are you going to tell him I’m staying here?!
Julian: I called. He didn’t answer. I left a message.
Julian: Hal, it’s a great idea, really. The place is beautiful, Erica and I can be around a lot, and it’s free. Save your pennies for more important things.
Hallie: Like for all the extra therapy I’m going to need?
Julian: Exactly.
I look up from my phone to the patiently waiting Erica, who’s been smart enough to stay out of the thread.
“I’m going to kill him,” I groan.
Honestly, I’m not sure which one of the Scott brothers I’m referring to at this point.