Chapter 8
Ihad to figure this out on my own. Charlotte was close to having her babies and I couldn’t put my stress on her. Once I had a few things sorted out, then I would be able to update her.
“I’ll drive you,” said Jude. “We can follow Alve.”
I nodded, lacing my fingers together as an emotional anchor.
My whole life had collapsed. Maybe Tyler expected me to come home crawling and begging, but even though I had put up with a lot, he’d put me in so much danger doing what he had.
Not only that, it was the first time he had made his views on our relationship crystal clear.
It didn’t matter to him that the reason I didn’t financially contribute was because he wouldn’t let me. Everything I owned belonged to him in his head, down to my phone and clothes. No amount of wishful thinking could change that.
Tyler didn’t love me.
He didn’t respect me either.
Maybe I could have deluded myself into sticking it out in a loveless relationship—I had no choice but to acknowledge that’s what I’d been doing this whole time—but I couldn’t live in the same house as someone who openly thought that little of me.
Tyler couldn’t walk back from what he had shown me, and more than that, I couldn’t let myself pretend it wasn’t that bad.
He might not have hit me, but he still risked my life.
Jude opened the passenger door for me and waited until I was safely buckled in before he closed it and rounded the vehicle. “You’re still welcome to stay at my place.”
He was too sweet to me, always had been.
Since the beginning of my design journey, Jude had been a welcome respite.
One of the reasons I had started taking on more and more clients was to have an excuse to come to Best of Nests, where I knew he would spend hours by my side helping me find exactly what I needed.
My gratitude toward Jude for his ready smile and thoughtfulness had never been enough to overwhelm the guilt and gratitude I felt toward Tyler for extracting me from my old life.
In my head, I had quietly added Jude to the extremely short list of people I would approach if Tyler ever changed his mind on packing up. But now I didn’t need his permission…
I didn’t even know if Jude was interested in me in that capacity, and if he was, he deserved a whole and healed partner. No matter how sweet he was, it wouldn’t be healthy for me to immediately attach myself to someone new. Living with him would be too much of a temptation.
“It doesn’t hurt to check out the apartment,” I said quietly.
“It’s not that I don’t want to stay with you, but I know roommate situations aren’t always as simple as we think they’re going to be.
The first time we’ve ever hung out outside of the store was me having a full-blown crisis, and I’m sure it won’t be the first time I break down in the next while.
It’s not fair for me to put that all on you. ”
“Maddie.” He said my name so gently I wanted to cry. “Friends are there for each other even when it gets awkward or uncomfortable. Whatever you need, you just let me know.”
Tears slipped down my cheeks. “See,” I hiccuped, “already crying again.”
Jude laid his hand over mine when we got onto the main road behind Alve. “Cry all you need to. You’ve had the worst possible day.”
I turned my hand beneath his, letting our fingers slot together. It was our first time holding hands, and the steady warmth of his skin on mine had my stomach tightening. “You make me look like I’ve never seen the sun in my entire life.”
He glanced down at our hands when we stopped at a red light, taking in the contrast of his warm brown skin against mine. “You are impressively pale for someone who spends time outside.”
“I might be a bit obsessive about sunscreen.” That was a much safer topic with a far lower risk of crying. “This wasn’t where I expected my life to be when I was pushing thirty. I thought I’d have it all together, you know?”
“It happens sometimes. Maybe the universe was shaking you loose from something that didn’t suit you to make space for something better.”
Okay, we were back onto dangerous topics. If I thought about that too hard, I would start imagining my list coming together to save me from this bullshit.
“Yeah, maybe. How much of the store are they going to have the steam clean after I ran through there?”
“Don’t worry about that. The store has to be kept immaculate anyway, no harm in an extra steam clean,” Jude assured me. “I’m a little bummed my first exposure to your scent was when you were upset. I don’t think I would’ve guessed raspberry tarts.”
“No? What did you think it would be?”
Had Jude spent time wondering that about me? Did he not like my scent now that he knew what it was?
“Chocolate, or something like peaches, but now that I know it’s raspberry tart, I feel dumb for thinking it was anything else. It suits you perfectly.”
My cheeks warmed. “What’s yours?”
Jude’s scent had always been carefully locked down to accommodate his job, and even his vehicle didn’t have a hint of it. “Pomegranate and cranberry.”
“That’s my favorite herbal tea.” The statement fell out of my mouth before I could think about how he might take that.
What the hell was I thinking? That was weird, wasn’t it? How else could he possibly take me saying it was my favorite tea, besides that I liked the taste of him?
If the gods were kind they would open a portal and let me fall through it right now.
Jude, ever the gentleman, didn’t even get close to a lewd comment. “I’ll be sure to stock up on some for you.”
I shoved down the unruly and deeply inappropriate disappointment that curled in my chest. All it took was a few moments of kindness and I was ready to beg for his attention, even though he always gave it freely. Instability made me crave comfort, and I knew I could get that from him.
Not fair.
I refused to use him that way.
Jude had always been good to me, and I needed to be good to him now.
We pulled to a stop at a luxury apartment condo. The complex had ample visitor parking, and Alve met us at the door, quickly and quietly ushering us inside.
“I should start off by saying this is not an omega-only building. I forgot to mention it, but if it’s going to be a dealbreaker…”
“Mixed designation is fine,” I promised.
His shoulders slumped in relief and he guided us to the elevator. “The suite is on the top floor.”
“The penthouse?”
“Uh, yes. Is that a problem?”
“Alve, I can’t afford a penthouse suite. I don’t even have a job yet.”
We stepped off the elevator and Alve paused in front of the door. “I wasn’t intending to charge you rent.”
“What? Why not?”
He opened the door to the suite and the reason became immediately apparent as a wave of lingonberry and red wine washed over me, the scent sinking down to my bones and drawing a pathetic whine out of me. Just like with Leo.
“Oh my god,” I said breathlessly. “Alve…”
“What am I missing?” Jude asked. “What’s going on?”
I backed up, leaning against Jude’s chest, instead of reaching for Alve the way my instincts wanted me to.
“Scent match,” I whispered, my voice shaking.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything right away,” Alve said softly, as if he was afraid I might bolt. “You weren’t in a state to hear it, and I recognize very little time has passed since then, but you do need a place to stay, and I can easily afford to find somewhere else.”
“Alve,” I hissed. “Is this your apartment? Where you live? You were just going to give it to me?”
“Ah—Yes? You’re my scent match and you need a home. I’ve learned to trust my instincts and move quickly when something feels right, and while I know that can be offputting for those unused to it, it’s served me well. Besides, what sort of alpha would I be if I didn’t provide a solution?”
“This is—” My head swam. “This is so much in one day.”
Jude looped an arm protectively around my waist. “Too much in one day.”
“Please,” Alve begged. “I recognize the poor timing of everything, but I really do want to help. At least have a look around. I can give you the keys and leave if that would make you feel more comfortable.”
“This is your home. You shouldn’t have to leave.
” My feet were rooted to the spot, but I could appreciate the decor style he had chosen: clean lines, mostly neutrals, but it didn’t feel sharp with the round lighting, plush pillows, and fuzzy blankets around the living room.
Dark cabinetry in the kitchen anchored the space and the light countertops and backsplash brightened it up.
Alve very awkwardly showed us around and Jude kept his hand on me. My instincts preened to have Jude being protective of me, and Alve literally offering up his home. My alpha savior paused in front of the last door in the hall. “I feel I should explain this room first.”
“Why? What could possibly be in there?”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “I would like to preface this by saying that today wasn’t the first time I’ve seen you, but I swear on my life I wasn’t stalking you.”
Jude stepped between us. “Talk faster or I’m getting her out of here right now.”
“It’s a nest,” Alve spilled. “Sometimes I would go to Best of Nests and try to imagine what I could build one day for an omega I didn’t have yet.
I wanted to be prepared if fate ever blessed me.
So, on the occasions I went in and Madison was there, sometimes I would buy the same things.
I picked up pretty quickly that she was purchasing for other people most of the time, but every so often, she would go to the till with a single item clutched in her arms and I knew that whatever it was was something perfect, something an omega would love by the way she held it.
Trust me, I know how strange it all probably sounds. ”
I reached past him and pushed the door open, revealing a near replica of the nest I had at home.
It wasn’t arranged the same, but the items matched, the colors—raspberry pink, cream, pale rose, and white—all fit, and Alve had obviously gone out of his way to find more to fit the space: matching curtains, string lights, soft throw rugs the same shade as my favorite pillows.
Stepping out of Jude’s embrace and past Alve, I walked right up to the bed.
The room held almost no scent, so at least I knew Alve didn’t spend much time in here.
It reminded me a bit of when I shopped for Christmas presents all year long and tucked them into a closet, just waiting to be able to give them away.
A nest was a pretty big present, but Alve had been apparently thinking of a hypothetical omega for quite some time.
At least the lack of scent meant he wasn’t secretly in here getting himself off. That happened in some of the thrillers I read, where the desperate alpha would break into the omega’s nest to get her scent and leave his mark of ownership.
“Are you upset?” Alve asked sheepishly, his cheeks blazing pink.
“It’s beautiful, but I don’t know if I can stay here.”
“I could buy you a different apartment,” Alve offered.
“You’re not buying me an apartment,” I said with a laugh.
“Would you prefer a detached house? I’ll buy you anything. I want you to be safe.”
The sincerity in his tone made my chest ache. He gave so freely, but after Tyler, I couldn’t believe it was without strings. “You don’t have to buy me any home. You’re not obligated to take care of me because we’re scent matches.”
“But I want to. I’ve waited my whole life for you.”
“You don’t even know me.” I stepped toward him despite the tension radiating from Jude. The fact remained that he was a scent match, and the knowledge of it pulled me in.
Alve carefully cupped my cheeks and I fought the urge to close my eyes and lean into it. “But I want to.”