Chapter 12
Even amid the sadness, and the rampant anxiety, I felt alive. Part of me figured I’d be curled into the fetal position if Tyler ever ended things…and technically, that had been pretty close to my initial reaction, but a lot of that had been the loss of everything else, rather than him.
Rebuilding a life was terrifying.
What was I supposed to do with the pile of alphas who were suddenly mine? How was I supposed to navigate the line I’d crossed with Jude after pretending it didn’t exist for years? Too many things had changed so fast, and nothing was slowing down anytime soon.
If I didn’t make my peace with this new influx of chaos, I wasn’t going to survive it. Much as I needed routine, maybe I could trick my brain into thinking change was the new routine. At least I had people around me willing and able to help, even if their methods were a bit unorthodox.
After a quick introduction to Ava and her pack so they knew who we all were, we waited for Alve to tell us Tyler had arrived.
Knowing the house was empty helped stem some of the worst anxiety. Even if Tyler left his meeting the second we opened the door, we would have time.
The four of us walked down the street together and I put in the code with trembling fingers, relieved when the lock clicked open.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. Tyler had told me to come home when I got my “head on straight,” but as soon as I got Poppy and Pepper out of here, this house no longer qualified as home.
I could never allow myself to have that with Tyler again.
I’d never forget the look in his eyes when he’d forced me out of the car.
“Babies!” I called out, hoping to hear the pitter-patter of paws.
Nothing came. Jude got their carriers out of the entryway closet at my instruction, and I wandered the first level, calling for my cats.
It was only when I passed the door to the basement that I heard the faintest meow.
The basement was finished, and we had a ton of rooms for guests and recreation, but the cats never went down there because Tyler didn’t want them in his space, and we kept the guest rooms cat fur-free so they were always closed, unless someone was coming to stay.
I wrenched the door open, practically sprinting down the stairs. “Poppy? Pepper? Where are you?”
More meowing led me deeper into the basement.
I opened the door to the storage room and the meowing got louder. I swept across the room, where yet another door connected to the utility room.
Oh, hell no.
The second I swung it open, Poppy and Pepper shot like lightning between my feet, both puffed up and meow-screaming. The smell hit me next and I held my breath, sparing a quick second to look into the room and saw no food, no water, not even a litter box.
I ran after them and found them arched up, staring at my potential pack, who had followed me down.
Leo was already on his knees making kissy sounds at them with his hand extended. Poppy was the first to brave an interaction, sniffing tentatively at him.
I collapsed next to them and scooped both cats awkwardly into my arms, tears spilling down my cheeks. “Oh my god, babies, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe he locked you away.”
“Deep, too,” Nathan huffed. “Jackass probably didn’t wanna hear them crying.”
“He didn’t leave them anything!” I sobbed into their fur and Jude sat next to me to run a soothing hand down my back.
“We’ll get them out of here and make sure all of you stay safe.”
Poppy and Pepper purred away in my arms.
“Is there anything you need from down here before we go up?” Nathan asked, patting the duffel bag slung over his shoulder.
I shook my head, accepting Leo and Jude’s assistance to get to my feet since I refused to let go of my kitties. I took an unsteady step toward the stairs, but apparently that wasn’t to Jude’s liking, because he scooped me right off my feet and carried me up himself.
“You have to put them in their carriers so I can get them to Ava’s,” he reminded me softly.
Still crying, I set Poppy into the first and Jude zipped it while I tucked Pepper into the second.
He kissed my forehead and my stomach flipped. “I’m taking them over right now and I’ll text Nathan when we’re all safe, okay?”
I nodded, sucking in some deep breaths to steady myself. Jude took off with a carrier in each hand and Nathan spun me around, already nudging me upstairs.
“Essentials first, breaking down after. Do you have access to your documents?”
“Yeah,” I said, my voice cracking. “I think, anyway.”
I didn’t often have a reason to access anything in Tyler’s office, but we kept everything important together.
The filing cabinet was locked when I pulled on the drawer, but a quick look around through his desk drawers led me to the key.
It took me a few minutes to find everything but I shoved each piece into Leo’s hands.
“Good girl.” Nathan beamed. “Is that everything?”
My stomach flipped as easily for Nathan using that phrase as it did for Leo. “Pretty sure. For paperwork, at least.”
“Okay, toiletries, jewelry, and clothes next.”
“We have separate bathrooms,” I pointed out. “Anything that’s in mine, you can take.”
Leo nodded, setting off on his mission after I directed him to the correct room. Nathan and I went into the bedroom next, where I emptied my jewelry box into one of the bags, snatched all of my favorites out of the dirty laundry to be washed later, and started grabbing at items in my closet.
“We can’t take all of it on this trip,” Nathan warned, “so pick what you like best.”
I had slowly cultivated my wardrobe one beloved piece at a time, but it couldn’t be helped. People would definitely notice Leo trying to walk down the street with a mountain of clothes bigger than him.
I emptied my bras and panties into one of the bags since they were the most essential and also the most annoying to replace.
From there, I picked a balance of what I loved most and what I could probably sell easily to make rent.
Reducing my life to a few bags was beyond depressing, but at least I didn’t have to leave every single piece behind.
Each item I removed slowly replaced my sorrow with fury. Tyler could go fuck himself. I had kept his home beautifully for a decade, accommodated him at every turn, did anything he wanted, and it didn’t even matter in the end.
By the time the bag was full, I was practically punching my clothes into it.
I caught Nathan’s grin out of the corner of my eye. “What?”
“I’m glad to see a little fire in you.”
My cheeks warmed.
“Let’s send Leo to Ava’s with all of this, and you and I can grab the sentimental stuff.”
“I heard my name.” Leo popped into the room, a very full bag over his shoulder. “I grabbed you some of the nice towels, figured it would make wherever you end up staying feel more like home.”
I bounced onto my toes to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
Nathan passed him the other bag. “See you at my sister’s.”
Leo nodded dutifully and set off, leaving me alone with Nathan and two more bags to fill.
When we were alone, Nathan pulled me into a hug and let me cling to him. “You good to keep going?”
“Not much choice, is there? If I don’t get stuff out now I may never have another chance.”
“Pretty much,” he agreed. “You know what’s most important to you here. We’ll take as much as we can and unfortunately, you probably have to say goodbye to anything else.”
“Poppy and Pepper are what matter most. I can live without the rest.”
“But you don’t have to. Let’s start gathering.”
While I collected a few sentimental items—books, photos, cat toys—Nathan collected remotes for anything he could find and chucked them into the bag.
“I thought you were only taking the batteries?”
“I was going to, but this will be way more annoying. Batteries are easily replaced. Getting new remotes will take longer and will fuck him up each time he realizes a new one is gone. Asshole has probably forgotten how many things he has that need remotes here.”
He wasn’t wrong. Tyler loved all sorts of fancy tech, lighting, and appliances, and every single thing came with a new remote.
When I gathered all I could think to take, I stood staring at the bed I had shared with Tyler.
Nathan slid up next to me, hands on his hips, and a cheeky grin on his face. “My offer to piss on it still stands. Only thing that would make him more furious is if you fuck someone else on it.”
Heat slid down my spine over the last part of that statement. Tyler had always been obsessively possessive. I wasn’t even allowed to hug his alpha friends. Nathan was right that getting my scent all over those sheets coupled with someone else’s would probably throw Tyler into a rage.
In a fit of boldness, I sat down on the edge and looked up at Nathan. “What if I voted for option number two?”
He stared at me, slack-jawed. “Wait, are you serious?”
“I might not be ready for the full scope of what that entails, but it wouldn’t take much to get my scent going.” I watched him battle with himself, a myriad of emotions crossing his features. “It’s okay if you don’t want our first kiss to be on the bed I shared with him.”
Nathan let out an incredulous laugh. “Our first kiss could be in a fucking dumpster and it wouldn’t take away from the fact that it’s you I’m kissing.”
“Come over here and prove that, then.”
I barely had a second to blink before he was on his knees in front of me, dragging me closer so my thighs spread around him, his mouth meeting mine.
Fresh balsam and blueberries filled my nose.
Between his scent and the greedy sweep of his lips on mine, my stomach was clenching, and slick pooled in an invitation I didn’t dare alert him to.
My hands moved of their own volition, tugging at his shirt until he raised his arms for me to pull it off.
I was definitely getting ahead of myself, but the high of how illicit this all was made my brain fuzzy.
Nathan kissed like a man starved, and I had never felt like such a treasured feast. Feast, yes, but not treasured.
Outside of my heats, I had never craved drowning in Tyler. One kiss from Nathan and I was ready to descend into the abyss. I wanted little more in this exact moment than to sprawl and let Nathan have me however he pleased. Rocking my hips against him didn’t help my brain stay in control one bit.
I lifted my hips so he could remove my panties, both anxious and deliciously excited when his eyes met mine and he lifted the bottom of my dress. Breathless with anticipation, I let out a whimper and Nathan bent to plant a kiss on my inner thigh. Melting back, I spread my thighs.
“You’re sure?” His breath fanned over my cunt, and I dug my fingers into the sheets to stop myself from grabbing his head and putting it exactly where I needed.
“Yes. Please.”
The second his tongue touched me, I lost my battle of will and tangled my fingers in his hair, bracing my toes to push my cunt against his mouth. Nathan groaned and plunged a finger into me.
“Fuck,” I whined, my body bowing, surrendering as he added a second finger. The air I inhaled was an intoxicating blend of raspberry and blueberry that sent my senses into overdrive.
Nathan’s phone buzzed and he cursed, pulling away to check it. Normally I would be miffed that anyone would do so at a time like this, but we were waiting on important updates.
“Shit. He’s on his way.”
I bolted upright, almost clocking him in the forehead with my own. “We have to go. I can’t risk being here when he gets home.”
“Take a deep breath for me.” He cupped my cheeks, stroking them gently with his thumbs until I had obeyed his instructions. “Good girl. We have time.”
“Not enough.”
“At least twenty minutes.” He kissed me gently and whispered against my lips. “I can make you come in two.”
I sucked in a sharp breath, my pussy clenching. “You really think you can? That’s kind of presumptu—oh my god.”
Nathan’s fingers drove back into me and I whined again, flopping onto the bed, my whole body twitching when his lips suctioned my clit like he was trying to suck my soul out through it. He curled his fingers, simulating the pressure of a knot, and fucked me with them.
I locked my hands in his hair again, helpless to do anything but take the pleasure he delivered. “Fuck, fuckfuckfuck. Nathan!” I dragged out his name as the dam broke in a rush of slick that shot me into the stratosphere.
My heart was a steady buzz as he eased me down, allowing my vision to clear and my breath to normalize.
Nathan smiled at me with shiny lips and planted a kiss on my thigh before helping me sit up. “Might be a new record for me. Were you a little keyed up?”
I let out a breathless laugh. “Seems so.”
“That’s two minutes down, eighteen to go. If there’s anything else you want to grab last minute, do it now.”
“What are you going to be doing while I do that?”
Nathan kissed me soundly on the forehead. “If I can’t properly fuck his former girl on his bed, I’m still gonna piss on it.”
I couldn’t help laughing at that, stealing myself another kiss before hopping off to pack a few more books I wouldn’t mind keeping.
The muffled whump of the mattress hitting the bed frame was the only indication I got that Nathan had been successful in his mission.
He was completely ridiculous and the opposite of what I’d expected fate might deliver, but I also kind of liked it.
Nathan’s chaotic energy shook things up, and the others felt like they would balance him nicely.
My whole body still tingled from Nathan’s touch.
I’d been so close to throwing every bit of caution to the wind, had been almost desperate to do so.
I knew what the mouths of two of my potential pack tasted like, and even with all the bullshit I had faced, I was plenty eager to get a sample of the other two as well.
Apparently, the men fate had put in front of me were more dangerous for self-control than I had ever anticipated.