Chapter 23
Anxiety was the only thing I could feel as the neutralizer took effect and I walked out of the clinic with an updated prescription for short-dose scent blockers.
Madison had texted to say one of Charlotte’s alphas would drop her off at the apartment later, which left me with plenty of time to stew. I hadn’t expected a day of bro-bonding to end at the clinic. For an injury, sure, but not this.
Nathan dragged me into a hug. “It’s going to be fine.”
He’d already said it about a dozen times, but my brain wasn’t convinced. I leaned into his embrace. His woodsy blueberry scent was soothing, and the purr he worked up for me was equally so.
“Group hug, motherfuckers,” Nathan demanded, and I chuckled as Leo and Alve plastered against us. “Do any of you actually think Madison would kick him to the curb over this?”
“She might be surprised,” Alve said slowly, “maybe hurt, but I think any difficulties would be short term.”
“I agree,” said Leo. “We can all see that Madison loves you.”
“Exactly.” Nathan cupped the back of my head. “You’re the favorite right now, and that works to your advantage. I vote we hit up the grocery store and make something delicious for when she gets home, so she’ll be in an extra good mood.”
It was sound logic.
“Enchilada night?” Leo offered.
“Fuck, yeah, enchilada night!” Nathan was certainly a character, but in a charming way. “Nothing bad can happen when enchiladas are involved.”
I laughed, the group hug gently dispersing when I stood up straight. Nathan kept his hand right where it was.
“I’m okay, I promise.”
He nodded, his hand dropping to mine. I stared at our twined fingers for a moment but didn’t pull away.
I was still processing the particular revelations from our shared night with Madison, and it wasn’t that I was opposed, I just needed to line it up perfectly in my head so it could slot into place.
I was used to casual touch from my sisters, but not a lot of guys ran around holding hands.
Nathan grabbed Leo’s hand too, maybe misreading how I’d looked at him. He gave Leo a hard look before the alpha took Alve’s hand as well. “Grocery time. Let’s rock.”
I couldn’t help but smile as our pack made our way to the car, all hand in hand. Nathan’s energy was infectious. If he was determined to make me comfortable, then I was willing to let him.
It felt wholesome and domestic when we made it to the grocery store near Alve’s apartment and navigated the aisles together. This was what a life together was about: communication, decision making, helping to lighten the burden by doing things together.
Leo listed out ingredients and we scoured the piles of vegetables, offering individual ones up for his inspection and approval before they made it into a bag.
Nathan chatted the entire time. It could’ve been to fill the silence, but it also took the pressure off anyone else to do it. Alve stood by, his card at the ready to pay when we collected all of our culinary treasures.
That energy followed us all the way home, where we split into meal prep teams. Leo made sauce and tortilla dough from scratch while Nathan and I sliced vegetables. Alve carefully weighed out the dough and formed the tortillas using our newly acquired press.
When Madison finally arrived, we were tucking the enchiladas into the oven.
She sprinted inside, going straight for me.
Had anything ever felt as right as the weight of her slamming against me and her arms wrapping around me?
I gathered her close, both because it felt like the most natural thing in the world, but also in case it was the last time she would let me hold her like this.
She stiffened instantly. A shiver rolled through her and her fingers dug into my back. I had about half a second to panic before she looked up at me with wide eyes, raspberry sweetness exploding. “Jude?”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I panicked.”
The others watched us in silence, waiting to see what direction the wind would blow.
“You knew?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
Madison groaned and thunked her forehead hard against my chest. “How long have you known?”
“I learned the same day as the others. You already seemed so overwhelmed, and I worried it would make that worse to say it without any proof. Then I waited too long.”
She turned to the rest of the pack. “Did you guys know? Did everyone keep it from me?”
Nathan lifted his arms in surrender. “I knew the day he found out. The others only learned today. If you want to be mad at someone, you can be mad at me.”
“Mad?”
“Are you not?” I asked tentatively. Her scent was still sweet, so that should’ve been a clue, but I needed her to say it.
She looked at me, still securely tucked in my arms. “Should I be? Is this something people would normally be mad about?”
“I…guess it depends on the person?”
Madison snuggled in, nose pressed to my shirt. “How am I supposed to be mad right now? I wish you’d told me, but you’re not a mean person, so I know you didn’t keep it a secret to hurt me.”
“But did I anyway? Hurt you, I mean.”
“I don’t know. I’ve had so many big things hurt me recently. This feels more like a sliver compared to a stab wound. I think mostly I’m happy fate got it right with us. I didn’t know if it would, but I like knowing fate agrees we’re supposed to be together.”
I melted, clutching her so tightly her breath wheezed out. “I’m glad too. You can be mad, though, if you need to be. I won’t get mad back.”
She hugged me tighter in return. “I know. That’s part of why I’m not.
I could freak out and you’d understand, but I’m not here to make a conflict over something you did to protect me when I was teetering on the edge.
I don’t really know if it would’ve made things better or worse on that day, but it’s not like you kept it hidden all these years. ”
Relief settled into the marrow of my bones.
None of us would’ve judged her for being reactive to the news, or at least I wouldn’t have.
Things were still new, and she was only beginning the process of unlearning her survival strategies for living with Tyler.
Down the road it might be different. For now, though, if she was going to offer me absolution for this, then I would take it.
My relief rippled through the pack. Madison pulled me down for a kiss that further stamped out my worries, before moving to kiss each of the others.
It was a strange sensation to feel myself settling into a pack existence.
For so long I’d wanted her all to myself, but I liked seeing her blossom with the others.
We could give her the stability she needed to be who she was without Tyler’s influence, and I wanted that for her.
Everyone grew up with a different laundry list of traumas, but the rest of us were further distanced from ours. She was fresh out of her cage.
“What smells so amazing?”
“Team effort enchiladas,” Nathan told her. “And by team effort, I mean it was mostly Leo. We were his sous chefs.”
I slid up behind her, looping an arm around her waist, relieved all over again when she leaned into me. “Did you have a good time with Charlotte?”
“I did!” Madison beamed up at me. “It was really nice to get some girl time.”
“Alve, Nathan, and I could always invite our sisters over if you want even more girl time.”
“Let me relax into this a little more before we invite that many omegas over.” Madison laid her hands over my arm. “I need to feel like this new family is secure before I meet everyone. Is that okay?”
“Of course it’s okay,” Leo answered for us. “I haven’t even told my parents yet.”
“Ava knows,” Nathan said with a shrug, “but I think that was obvious to everyone.”
“That’s different, I already know her.” Madison brought me into the living room, gesturing for the others to follow, then climbed straight onto my lap. “Everyone is too far away.”
Nathan slid down by our feet, laying his arm over her thighs while Leo and Alve took up a spot at each of our sides.
“Much better.” Madison purred while we told her about our day.
If past-me could see me right now, I would’ve assumed it was some sort of parallel dimension. I’d wanted Madison for so long, but getting to hold her like this kept hitting me with a wave of surreality. She fit so perfectly in my arms.
If I were a little less selfish, I might have encouraged her into Leo or Alve’s arms, but I couldn’t make the words form.
She wiggled, her scent sweetening as she squirmed my dick to life.
I dug my fingers into her. “Maddie, what are you doing?”
“It’s not my fault. Everyone smells really good.”
Nathan slid his palm up her calf and onto her thigh. “I don’t mind working in front of an audience, but you’re going to have to be a little clearer on what you want.”
Madison chewed her lip. “I guess everyone is probably too ambitious of an answer.”
“Ambitious, yes,” replied Nathan with a teasing grin, “but nothing you can’t handle.”
Leo swallowed hard next to me. “Out here?”
Alve looked torn for a brief second before Nathan spread Madison’s thighs, the scent of her slick shooting straight to my dick. “I can get a new couch if we ruin it.”
Maddie cut off her own laugh when she dragged Alve in for a searing kiss that made me ache to get my mouth on her. Leo wove his fingers into her hair, and when she broke away to breathe, he tugged, our omega tipping back to meet his lips.
Nathan used her momentum to tilt her further and peel off her leggings. Her panties were already damp with slick.
“Maddie, when was your last heat?”
She draped across mine and Leo’s laps. “I don’t know. A while ago. A couple of months maybe?”
Nathan dipped his hand to tease her. Luckily, he had the foresight to wear gloves while handling the chilies for dinner, or that could’ve gone really fucking poorly.
Instead, she moaned and kissed Leo again.
Alve didn’t seem to quite know what to do with himself, so he reverently lifted her ankle to rest on his shoulder, opening her up for Nathan’s exploration.
The first plunge of his fingers inside her released a fresh cloud of intoxicating raspberry. I supported her weight with one arm and let my free hand meet Nathan’s so I could focus on her clit.
“Is she having a heat flare?” Alve asked. “Her scent is so much stronger than usual.”
Her body went taut, slick dripping onto my lap, her desperate sounds muted by Leo’s mouth.
“Maybe you unlocked a key,” Nathan suggested.
“A key to what?”
“She could be feeling safer knowing you’re a scent match. Or maybe you smell so fucking hot she can’t control herself.”
Heat rushed over my cheeks. “I doubt it’s option two.”
“Just me then?”
The world centered onto a pinpoint of clarity as Nathan rose up to kiss me. I growled into the sweep of his mouth. What kind of world was it that I was kissing an alpha for the first time while he finger-fucked our omega into oblivion?
A stupid question. I knew what kind: A damn perfect one.