13. Chapter 13
It took me nearly a week to confront Sophia after Luna showed me the video.
”Hey, Sweetpea.” I sat down on the couch next to my daughter in the living room, where she was watching Netflix while she dug into a bowl of popcorn.
I”d thought about how to talk with Sophia and had called the therapist that Luna had recommended to figure out how best to handle this conversation.
Dr. Monica Ryan had been frank with me after I explained what had happened. She was worried about Sophia and insisted that my approach needed to be one of understanding and that we”d probably need counseling as father and daughter to rebuild what was fractured.
”Hey.”
”Can we turn this off?”
She looked at me with confused eyes and picked up the remote to turn off the television. ”Is everything okay?”
I smiled wanly at her. ”I don”t think so.”
”You look serious.”
I nodded. This was going to be harder than watching the video that had gutted me. However, at thirteen, Sophia couldn”t be blamed for my sheer stupidity in allowing her to treat my girlfriend disrespectfully.
”So, remember the evening we had dinner at Aurora”s condo?”
I saw panic flare in her eyes.
”What did she tell you about me? Are you still seeing her? I thought you broke up?” There was dread in her voice, and I hated hearing it.
”She didn”t tell me anything. And, no, I”m not seeing her,” I said sadly. ”You told me she said some mean things to you.”
Her eyes became defiant. ”She did.”
”I don”t think so, Sweetpea.”
”You think I”m lying?” she challenged me.
”Yes.”
Her lips quivered. ”You just believe her because you”re having sex with her.”
Christ on a crutch! Kill me now.
”I told you to not be home the day Aurora came to pick up her things.”
She shrugged. ”Whatever.”
”But you were at home. Her friend, Luna, made a video of what you said to Aurora and showed it to me.” The therapist had said I”d have to establish that I knew the truth early on in the conversation so we could get past the defiance and lies to the root cause of Sophia”s behavior.
Now, she was in full-on anxiety mode. ”Her friend made it up. You know, these days, you can make stuff up with AI and—”
”Hey, it”s time to come clean,” I coaxed. ”You said some terrible things to Aurora.”
”She deserved it.”
”No, sweetheart. She didn”t.”
Aurora hadn”t deserve it from me, not from Sophia, and not from Iris. All she”d done was love me and every member of my family had been cruel to her.
Her eyes filled with tears. ”Why are we talking about this? You broke up. It”s over.”
I took her hands in mine and held them. ”Why was it so important for you that we broke up?”
She licked her lips. ”Because then you and Mama would get back together.”
I nodded. ”But I”ve told you that”s not going to happen.”
”Mama doesn”t think so,” she retorted. ”Mama said that…you just…that…Daddy, it”s fine. You bought Mama the bracelet, and we”re going to Miami Beach tomorrow as a family.”
”I bought that bracelet for Aurora. She refused to take it because she said it was too expensive,” I told her honestly. ”When you found it and your mother decided to take it, I just didn”t say anything. I should have, but I didn”t. And that was wrong of me.”
Her eyes flickered with fear and shame.
”I just want you and Mama to be together.”
”Why?”
”Because that”s the way it”s supposed to be. Mama keeps saying that. And she”s so angry about the divorce. I just don”t want her to be mad anymore.”
Fucking hell! I pulled her into my arms for a hug. The poor kid.
Dr. Ryan had told me that the way Iris and I were living was confusing Sophia. We had officially divorced, but as my family and Beau had all been hammering at me and I”d refused to listen, it did seem a lot like we were still living together. For Sophia, overhearing Iris”s hopeful talks of reconciliation translated into a burden—she felt pressured to mend the situation in a bid to bring joy to her mother.
”Daddy, why can”t you just get married to mama again?” She burrowed into me.
I pulled her away a little so I could see her face. ”Forget about your mother for a minute, Sweetpea. What did you think of Aurora?”
Her face fell. ”What do you mean?”
”How did she treat you?”
”She was alright.”
”When you were rude to her or mean to her, how did she treat you?”
Her eyes filled with tears. ”She wasn”t mean back.”
”Did you feel bad about how you talked to her?”
She shrugged. ”I just wanted her gone. Mama said that if she wasn”t there, then you”d both be together.”
”What else did your Mama say?”
She looked so forlorn that my heart was crushed. Dr Ryan suspected that my ex had been putting pressure on Sophia to get Aurora out of the picture.
”That…if I was not nice to Aurora, she”d leave.”
”And that”s why you were mean to her?”
”Yeah. And Mama said Aurora just wants you for your money,” she added and then sadly, slowly, added, ”But she didn”t even take the bracelet.”
”No, she didn”t,” I agreed.
Because Aurora had never cared about my money. She”d wanted me. She wanted time with me. She loved me. Truly loved me to put up with my family drama, my kid who was rude to her, my ex-wife who pretended we were still together. Christ, I don”t know how she put with my shit for an entire year.
”Daddy, I don”t know what to do,” she admitted. ”I…just don”t.”
I kissed her forehead. ”I know, Sweetpea. But here is the truth. What you said to Aurora was not cool. In fact, it was cruel.”
”You mean the thing about her parents not wanting her?”
She knew I thought what she”d done was wrong. At least, that was something.
”Yeah.”
”It”s because of me your relationship ended, isn”t it?” Tears were now freely flowing down her face. I wiped them with the palms of my hand.
”No. I was cruel to her as well and…I messed up. Don”t get me wrong, what you did was not okay, but I”m the one who ended that relationship.” I didn”t need her to carry the guilt for something that was definitely my fault.
”Every time I”m alone with Mama, she only wants to discuss how I should convince you to get back together with her,” she confessed.
”And you want that?”
She blinked. ”I guess so.”
”Why?”
”So, Mama won”t be so upset.”
”Forget about Mama for a moment. Do you want us to get back together? How do you think things will change for you?” I stroked her blonde hair and wanted to kick myself if I could. My parents, my brother, and my friends had been warning me about this, and I”d ignored them because I was an arrogant fuck.
She shrugged. ”I don”t think anything would change.”
”And how do you think things would change for you if I were to have a girlfriend?”
She eyed me thoughtfully. ”You”d spend less time with me.”
”I was with Aurora for a year, did I spend less time with you?”
She thought about it some more and shook her head. ”No. The week I”m with you, you”re always home.”
”The past few months, you kept asking me to be with you during your week with your Mama as well. What was going on?” I asked.
She sighed. ”I feel bad telling you this.”
”You can tell me anything and never feel bad about it. I”m your father, and I”m going to love you no matter what.”
She looked at me with unblinking eyes. ”You promise?”
”Yes.”
”Mama knew when you were going out with Aurora, and she”d ask me to insist you come back home. And I like being with you so…”
How the fuck did Iris know my calendar? It took me a minute, but I guessed how she did and decided to deal with it when I got to work next week.
”And when you wanted me to sleep over at your Mama”s place?”
She licked her lips. ”I…” She just shrugged then and shook her head. ”I love Mama.”
”I know, Sweetpea. And you should. She”s your mother.”
”But she”s so unhappy since the divorce. And you”re so happy…it just seems unfair to her.”
My heart clenched. I had been happy since the divorce. It was wonderful to be free of everyday endless conflict.
”You”re not responsible for your mother”s or my happiness, Sophia. No one can make the other person happy—that”s something we have to do for ourselves.”
”But other people can make us sad.”
”Yes.” I hugged her close and rested my chin on her head.
”I made Aurora sad,” she whispered.
”How does that make you feel?”
I felt her tears before I heard them. ”Really shitty, Daddy. But Mama was so happy when you broke up. I was so relieved.”
I pulled away to wipe her tears. ”This has been a shitshow,” I said with a small smile.
She sniffled. ”No shit.”
I laughed and didn”t ask her to clean up her language this time. ”Would you like to talk to someone about how you feel? About what”s happening?”
”You mean like a psychologist?”
”Yeah.”
”Lilah does.” She was a friend of Sophia”s whose parents had recently split up.
”And?”
”She likes it. She especially likes it when her parents are with her, and she can tell them…openly what”s going on.”
I nodded, hearing her loud and clear. ”How about we meet with a therapist that was recommended to me? If you don”t like her, we can find someone else. And then come up with a plan on how we make sure your Mama and I are there with you. Sound good?”
”Daddy, since you broke up with Aurora, you haven”t been happy,” she told me. ”It”s…like how you were before…when you and Mama were together.”
I wasn”t happy; there was no sugarcoating that. I was devastated and hating myself for hurting the one woman who”d given me more than she”d taken.
”Aurora and I were together for a year; it”s going to take a minute for me to stop feeling bad about it ending,” I admitted. That was the other thing Dr. Ryan had told me was important, and that was transparency. This hiding stuff and pretending things were okay when they were not wasn”t helping Sophia and increasing her level of anxiety and confusion.
”You loved her,” she whispered, and it broke my heart to see her in so much pain. But it was also a good thing, I knew. If she felt guilty, it meant that she understood that what she”d done was wrong.
”I did. I do. But these things happen.”
”I broke you guys up.”
”No, Sweetpea, I did that all by myself,” I assured her. ”You”re not responsible for my relationship with Aurora, just as you weren”t for your mother”s and my marriage.”
She nodded slowly.
”Got it?”
”Yeah, Daddy. I do.”
I kissed her on her forehead. ”Alright, I”m going to leave you here for a minute while I talk to your mother.”
”You”re going to talk to her about this, aren”t you?”
”Yeah. I am.”