22. Chapter 22
Like a teenager who was wet behind the ears, I got to the Peacock Lounge nearly a half hour before we were supposed to meet. I didn”t want to fuck this up.
I felt like an idiot. Aurora was a sweetheart, no way would she have been nasty to Sophia or anyone. Seeing her with Bianca had been a knife through the heart. They met every other Sunday, and Aurora was mentoring a teenager the same age as Sophia. They seemed close, and it just showed me what a moron I”d been.
Every time I recollected how I”d ridiculed her difficult childhood and what I said to Pierce at the ball about Aurora not being maternal, it crushed me. She”d trusted me with her past, not to the depth of what Luna had revealed, but I knew enough, and I”d taken that information to hurt her.
The fact that she was even giving me the time of day was a miracle, one that I was going to take full advantage of.
She looked like a vision when she came into the Peacock Lounge. She wore a black suit dress with a jacket, very proper, everything covered. Her heels were sensible. She liked comfort. Her hair was scraped away from her perfect face into a tight ponytail.
She used to leave her hair loose when she came to me because she knew how much I liked to wrap the silky strands around my hand, especially while she sucked me off.
Christ! One look at her and I was sporting an erection like I was a fucking teenager who got a hard-on because he saw a skirt.
I rose when I saw her, and when she came close, I leaned and brushed my lips across her cheek. I couldn”t help myself. I almost moaned out loud at the smell of her, at her nearness.
She hurried away and sat down on the armchair across from me. I should”ve found a table where we”d have to sit closer, I thought, but the lounge was still empty, and it would”ve been patently obvious I was being a lecherous asshole.
”What would you like to drink?” I hadn”t ordered anything, wanting to wait, wanting to have a clear head, unlike at the ball when I was drunk enough to screw up my life.
”Ah…a martini.”
I waved, and a server came by. I ordered a Macallan 12 neat for me and a vodka martini for Aurora.
”How are you?” I asked.
”Good,” she smiled tightly. ”And you?”
I missed my Aurora, the one who didn”t have her guard up, the one who let me see her. I knew now that I”d lost that in the later months of our relationship when she”d become more and more reserved with me. It had started after she met Sophia, and now I knew why. My daughter had begun to act up, and Aurora hadn”t said a word because she didn”t want to come between Sophia and me.
”I”m getting through,” I told her truthfully. ”I miss you something fierce.”
Her face fell. ”I just wanted to talk to you about Sophia, and that”s it.”
”I know,” I soothed. ”I know, baby.”
”Don”t call me that.”
The server came with our drinks, and we waited until he left to speak again.
”Sophia said you were very nice to her.”
”She told you?”
I shook my head. ”Just a text message to say you had a good talk, and you took her to the bakery next door.”
”Bianca raves about their hot chocolate,” she explained, ”I thought Sophia needed a treat. It was hard for her to come to me. She apologized, Gabri…Ga….”
”Call me Gabriel,” I urged.
Most people called me Gabe, but she always called me Gabriel. I liked the intimacy of it, how she said my name, especially when I was inside of her.
Idiot, stop thinking about fucking her right now, or you”re going to embarrass yourself.
She took a sip of her martini. ”And that”s it. She apologized, and I told her it was all forgotten. I really think she”ll be fine with your girlfriend.”
I raised both eyebrows. ”My girlfriend?”
She nodded. ”Ah…I assumed. The woman you were with when…anyway, that”s your business.”
She was flushed, and Rose was right; she”d been jealous. ”The woman I was with when I saw you with Bianca is Rose. She”s my cousin, Aurora. My father”s sister”s daughter.”
Her eyes went blank. ”Oh.”
Now, my Mama had raised no fool, so I went in for the kill. ”How am I supposed to date any other woman when I”m still in love with you?”
She gasped. ”Gab…damn it, you can”t say things like that to me.”
”Gabriel. Say my name.”
She shook her head. ”I should go.”
”Finish your drink, Aurora,” I ordered gently. My god, she was spectacular. How had I let her go?
”This is too hard.” Her mask dropped.
”Why? Because you love me too?” I was pushing it, but I didn”t know what the fuck else to do.
”Stop. Please.”
I leaned forward, and she literally pushed back into her chair.
”Baby, I”m not going to hurt you,” I whispered.
”You already did, Gabriel.” There was pain in her eyes, and it devastated me. I”d done this to her.
”I know. Let me make it up to you. Give me a chance…a last chance? I”ll never ask for another.”
She shook her head. ”I can”t. I…just can”t.”
”Why?” I coaxed.
She looked at me with clear eyes then. ”Because I”ll never trust you with myself again.” She said it so calmly that I knew she was telling her truth.
”I”ll earn back your trust.”
”It doesn”t work like that. I can”t…I won”t let you back in.”
”Don”t let fear hold you back, baby. We were so good together.”
”No, we weren”t. We had an unhealthy relationship where I was always scared of losing you and you…treated me like a mistress.”
”No,” I groaned. ”No, baby. You were, are the woman I love. Not a mistress. Don”t think that.”
”How can I not?” she demanded, fresh hell in her eyes. ”Think back and tell me you treated me fairly.”
”I didn”t,” I admitted. ”Give me a chance to show you how it can be.”
”No.”
”You”re just scared, I get it but if—”
”My fear protects me.” Her chin jutted out, and there was a fire in her voice. ”When you grow up alone, because as you said, no one, not even my parents wanted me, you learn quickly who to trust and who not to. I made a mistake with you, one I won”t repeat.”
She got up then. ”Your daughter is wonderful, and I think the therapist she”s seeing has helped her a lot. And…you”re a really good father.”
”Just a shitty boyfriend.” I hadn”t given her the best of me, I realized. I”d been so comforted by her love that I”d turned selfish. I became like Iris, taking and not giving back.
”Yes,” she agreed, and then she was gone.
She”d not finished her martini. I”d barely had a couple of sips of my own drink. I downed the rest of my whiskey and paid the tab.
When my car and driver came to pick me up, I directed him to take me to my parents” place.
The one thing meeting Aurora again had made clear, I wanted her back and I would get her too. I”d make her trust me again and never ever give her a reason to fear that I”d hurt her.
She was my forever; the certainty of that seeped into me. I just needed her to believe that I was hers as well.