38. Chapter 38
”Okay, these may be the best eclairs I”ve ever eaten. And I was just in Paris. How about you, Aunt Rose?” Sophia warmed my heart by appreciating my cooking.
It was one of my love languages. I liked to cook, and I liked to bake; and since I was staying at Gabriel”s place with Sophia, I was having some fun cooking with her. We”d just finished dinner in the kitchen at the breakfast nook. I”d made jambalaya when Sophia mentioned how much she loved spicy food, and since she”d gushed about all the baked goods she”d eaten in Paris, I”d decided to bring a taste of France to Savannah.
”These are amazing,” Rose, who joined us for dinner, agreed.
”Well, just so you know, I helped Aurora make them,” Sophia showed off.
”You should make some for your father when he comes back,” I suggested.
Sophia grinned. ”He”s going to lose his ever-lovin” mind. I”ve never cooked.”
”How come?”
”We”ve always had a cook. Miss Kayla cooks for us,” she explained and then fell silent.
Rose and I both noticed.
”You okay, honey?” I asked softly.
She shrugged. ”Yeah. I…Miss Kayla used to cook for all of us, and most of the time, we used to eat together.”
I didn”t quite know how to handle that. Even though she”d come to terms with the end of her parents” marriage, I was certain a part of her wished it wasn”t so.
”Is that something you miss?” Rose prompted.
”Oh, god no,” Sophia exclaimed and then looked at Rose and me and shook her head. ”You should see both your faces.”
”What”s wrong with our faces?” Rose demanded.
”Just that you”re thinking I’m going to go off again and say I wish my parents were together.”
”Do you?” I asked, my heart hammering.
”No,” Sophia said sincerely. ”The reason I was…well, I was just wondering how it”s going to work when we move, and Miss Kayla comes with us.”
”Your Mama is capable of feeding herself, Soph.” Rose licked some chocolate off her thumb. ”These eclairs are amazing, Aurora. You know, if you ever want to invite me over again when you”re cookin”, please don”t hesitate.”
I laughed. ”I won”t.”
”The dinners when it was the three of us were not fun,” Sophia suddenly said. ”I just want you to know that, Aurora. Daddy did it for me. I did it for Mama. There were a lot of strained conversations. Mama pretended everything was fine. Daddy focused on me and me alone. I didn”t want to see how things were…that they make each other miserable.”
Sophia had come a long way since she”d called me a gold digger. I knew it hadn”t been an easy road; how could it be to come face to face with the notion that your own mother tried to manipulate you.
But then I knew all about manipulating mothers.
”Oh, please, stop complaining about everything, Aurora. Gavin wasn”t interested in touchin” you. He wants a woman and not some dried up kid.”
”So, he wanted to cop a feel. Do you have to be such a bitch about it? He bought dinner that you ate, didn”t you?”
”So, you”ll just leave me to take care of my sister, is that it? You like her better than me?”
”I hear your precious aunt is dead. Did she leave me anything?”
Sophia went to her room to study for a math exam.
Rose and I settled on the front porch with a glass of wine. I preferred it to the backyard, where there was a pool. It was shared with Iris, and I really didn”t want to see her. But it was now fall in Savannah, and after the heat of the summer, it was lovely to enjoy an evening out that wasn”t stifling for a change.
”When”s Gabe home?” Rose asked.
”Late tomorrow.”
”I”m so happy to see you both back together,” she said, smiling at me.
”Why? You don”t even know me.”
”I know him and everyone who loves Gabe could see how happy he was when he was with you and how miserable when he wasn”t.”
It was really nice to hear that, especially since I still wasn”t sure what a man like Gabe was doing with a woman like me. He said I was amazing. I wish I could feel that inside me.
”I don”t know if it”s me who”s making him happy,” I demurred.
Rose groaned. ”Oh, come on, honey, you can”t be believin” that!”
”I…I just….” I drank some wine. This conversation was going off the rails.
”What”s goin” on with you?”
”Nothing.”
”You can”t see what you do for him?”
We had great sex, but I didn”t know if that was going to be enough for…forever.
”Ah…we get along,” I replied lamely.
”Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit,” Rose clipped. ”Honey, you”re havin” what women pray to have.”
”And what”s that?”
”An honest-to-god love affair.”
I sighed. ”We broke up, and now we”re…I don”t know what we”re doing.”
”You”re stayin” here with his daughter, honey.”
”I know,” I groaned. ”And we”re getting along.”
”I”m so fuckin” confused right now,” Rose admitted.
”So am I,” I agreed. ”Have you seen Gabriel?”
”Yeah.”
”He”s handsome, smart, rich…and…I just don”t get it. In the beginning, I thought he was attracted to me, and when the newness of me wore off, he”d on go his way. Then he introduces me to his brother like it”s a test.”
I”d been so nervous the first time I met Raphael. Gabriel had told me he was a professor, and I”d been expecting a geek, and here was a funny, charming, and good-looking rich man who was close to his brother. He was nice to me and down to earth. I didn”t know what end was up.
”Rafe thinks you”re as hot as all get-out.”
”I don”t understand that.” I looked at Rose in exasperation. ”I usually blend into the wallpaper.”
”What the hell kind of wallpaper are you used to?” Rose scoffed.
”And then I met Sophia, and I”m thinking this is a real relationship, and I need to get my shit together. But you know how that worked out.”
Rose put a hand on mine. ”That”s Iris.”
”I know, but what the hell am I doing getting involved with a married man?”
”Divorced. Single. Free.”
”I feel like it”s all going to blow up in my face soon enough,” I confessed. ”I went to Houston because I couldn”t stand for him to go through that alone. I gave myself away again.”
”And now you”re scared.”
”Yeah.”
”I don”t think I can say anything that”ll make you less afraid,” Rose said sadly. ”Your fears have nothing to do with Gabriel or Sophia or even Iris. You do know that, don”t you?”
Tears pricked my eyes. I did know that. My fears came from within. But when you”ve been unworthy your whole life, it”s hard to believe that someone as wonderful as Gabriel would see me as worthy…at least not in the long run.