42. Chapter 42
Iwas surprised when there was a knock on my door at ten at night when I was working in my studio. I was in pajama shorts and a tank top, ready for bed, when I became distracted, thinking about an element in the Miami hotel, and ended up tweaking the design.
I was further surprised when I saw it was Gabriel.
”Hey, I thought you had Sophia.” I opened the door to let him in.
He looked shattered. I”d never seen him like this before, well, except for the time when he”d come over to apologize for his behavior and his daughter”s.
He stepped inside, and even before I could shut the door, he pulled me into him and hugged me.
”Just hold me,” he whispered.
I hugged him tightly, not sure about what was wrong, but certain something very bad had happened.
After a while, we disentangled, and I walked him to the couch. He was still in a suit, but it was rumpled. His tie was gone. His eyes were red-rimmed.
I cupped his cheek. ”What happened?”
He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them. ”I lost Sophia.”
”What?”
”She told me today she wants to stay with Iris full-time and see me only every other weekend.”
I couldn”t believe it. ”Did I do something when I had her a couple of weeks ago? Is that it?”
”No, baby. She loved spending time with you.” He stroked my cheek, and I couldn”t stand the pain in his eyes.
”Then what?”
”Dr. Ryan thinks Iris is manipulating her. Sophia has shut down. She won”t talk to me.”
He rested his forehead against mine. ”I don”t know what to do. I just helped her move a lot of her stuff to her mother”s house. I”m putting the sale on hold. I…know that”s not what I promised you and—”
”You don”t worry about any of that,” I admonished, ”What”s important is Sophia. What did she say were her reasons?”
He sighed. ”She said I have you, and her mother is alone.”
”Then we break up.” I got up, putting distance between us. ”Just go home now and say we”re done. Say it”s over.”
He smiled warmly at me. ”Come here and hold me.”
”No. Just go. It”s over. I won”t be the reason you see your daughter for just a few days a month.” My eyes filled with tears. I”d been so selfish. I”d made him choose between his daughter and me.
He held out his hand. ”Come here,” he ordered again firmly.
I put my hand in his, and he pulled me onto his lap. ”I just need to hold you. Just hold you.”
I held his face against my breast and felt his unbearable grief course through me as well.
”I”m so sorry, Gabriel. So sorry.”
He nuzzled my breasts and then sucked a nipple into his mouth through the tank top.
He pulled away to look at me. ”No, baby, don”t cry.”
Tears were flowing down my cheeks. ”How can I not? Your pain is mine. How could this happen?”
He wiped my tears with his fingers. ”I”ll talk to my lawyer tomorrow. But Sophia is nearly fourteen, and if she tells a judge she wants to be with her mother then that”s that. Something is wrong and that hurts a lot more than her saying she doesn”t want to stay with me.”
”Did you tell her you and I could—”
”I asked her, and she said that you made me happy, and she didn”t want us to break up.”
A sob choked out of me. ”She said that?”
”Yeah. She loved spending time with you.”
”What the fuck has your ex-wife done?” My temper rose. I hated that woman at the moment. How could she do this to Gabriel…her own daughter? Sophia loved her father, and making her choose between parents was heartbreaking and horrible.
”I don”t know. Sophia isn”t talking. Fuck, Aurora, I fucked up, and my kid is…I have made so many mistakes, and she”s paying for them.”
I stroked his hair. ”No, Gabriel. You”re a great father.”
”I should never have set up our homes the way I did. I confused her. I gave Iris false hope. She said she wants us back together.”
I”d let him go; I realized if it meant he would be able to be with his daughter, care for her, protect her from whatever it was her mother was doing to her. But before I could speak, Gabriel shook his head. ”I know what you”re thinking. Don”t use this as an excuse to end us,” he warned.
”But Sophia needs you.”
”And I”ll always be there for her. She”s next door right now and…I”m going to have to keep it that way. I feel like I pushed her away somehow. She doesn”t even want to go to therapy anymore.”
I stroked his cheek and kissed his mouth. ”How can I help?”
”Can I sleep with you tonight?”
”Every night for as long as you want,” I vowed. I loved this man, I realized, and I wasn”t afraid anymore. If I had just a few months with him, I”d take them. If he”d go back to his ex-wife now to make sure he could keep his daughter close, I”d let him. It would break my heart, but I”d do whatever it took to make him happy. And wasn”t that love? That you made those who you loved happy even if it hurt you?
”Yeah?”
”Yes,” I confirmed.
”You forgive me?” There was such emotion in his voice that tears choked me again.
”There”s nothing to forgive. It”s in the past. We move forward.” I”d been so foolish, holding on to my fear, afraid to lose him when he was right here, saying that he wanted me even though it had cost him his daughter.
He kissed my mouth gently. ”Thank you.”
”And if at any time you want to go back to Iris, you just say it, okay? I won”t stop you. There will be no drama and—”
”I”m never going back to her. And if I do, can you imagine how horrible that would make Sophia feel?”
”But—”
”And don”t I deserve to be happy? Have a chance at it, at least? I haven”t been happy for over a decade, Aurora, not until you came into my life. The time we were together was…is the happiest I”ve ever been, except with Sophia. I have a family, and we”re close. I have great friends. I have a wonderful daughter. But my heart… it”s been aching to love and for love.”
He kissed me again.
”I love you,” I gave him the words I knew he wanted to hear.
”I love you too, baby, so, so much. I can”t do this without you. I…just can”t.”
”I”m not going anywhere.”
God, I hated how hurt he was.
”Have you eaten?” I asked.
He chuckled. ”No, but I”m not hungry. I just…needed you.”
”Come on then, let”s go to bed.”
”I need a shower.” He looked so tired that I doubted he had the energy for one.
”How about we just get into bed now, and we can take a shower tomorrow morning?”
”Together?” he asked trying to lighten the mood though it wasn”t likely right now. Something terrible had happened to him and I didn”t know how to fix any of it, how to make it better for him.
”Yes. I”ll let you wash my hair.”
”And let me fuck you against the wall?”
”Yes.”
I helped him undress and he let me like he was too tired to think about things like taking his socks off or unbuttoning his cuffs.
We held each other close as we lay naked in my bed. He lay on his back and held me, stroking my back, cupping my ass. He wanted comfort, I realized, not sex, but intimacy. He was getting hard; I could feel him against my thigh that was nestled between his legs.
We didn”t make love that night, just fell into fitful sleep. We woke each other up often and then wrapped ourselves in one another, seeking and finding solace.
”Aurora,” he murmured against my hair in the early morning hours as the sun was streaking pink and purple across the Savannah skies.
”Yes, Gabriel.”
”Don”t leave me.”
”I won”t.”
”Promise.”
”Yes.”
He fell back to sleep as if soothed by my words, as if he”d woken up just to make sure I wasn”t going anywhere.
After all these months of not trusting Gabriel, right now, I had no more doubts. He loved me. And I loved him. And because I did, I was going to find out what the hell happened with Sophia. No way would I let Iris break his heart.