Chapter 14
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SOPHIE
I slip out from behind the bar and shove my way through the crowd, getting to Jonah just as he reaches for the play button.
I grab his hand, and he meets my gaze. For a second I feel the pull of the story I used to tell myself. It was a fairy tale, made of spun sugar, about this man saving me and making me respectable. About him loving me enough to make up for all the people who didn’t.
It puts a knot in my throat, but I choke it down like the poison I know it to be.
“What are you doing?” I hiss.
Several people are gawking at us, but there’s no sign of Briar or Hannah or Dottie.
I can feel Rob staring at us from his place at the bar. So I glance over at him. His eyes burn into me as he cocks his head: Say the word, and I’ll punch him again.
“I’m going to serenade you,” Jonah says, recapturing my attention. “The song from that Ten Things movie you love. I want to show you that I’m willing to embarrass myself for you. Anything to get you to hear me out.”
I feel a twist in my stomach. He’s being manipulative. If I don’t hear him out, he’s willing to embarrass both of us.
“Hey,” I hear someone whisper to a friend. “Isn’t that the guy with the STDs?”
“Should we warn her?” the friend responds.
Jonah’s jaw tenses, but he doesn’t move from his position, standing right inside the doorway, where people will need to squeeze around him. This feels like a statement too. I will embarrass and inconvenience you at work.
“Come with me,” I say, my voice hoarse. Part of me hates myself for giving him what he wants, even if it’s just a chance for me to tell him in more detail how deeply I resent him, but I can’t let him serenade me in here. Sure, it would be more embarrassing for him, but it would still be a spectacle. It would be something people talk about for weeks, months, maybe even years, and I’ve already been a spectacle once in my life, and maybe a half spectacle last weekend with the wedding dress.
I lead him to the booth abandoned by my friends, who left enough of their stuff that their seats have not yet been commandeered by anyone else.
His posture stiffens, possibly because he recognizes their handbags, but he sits and sets the boom box on the tabletop, as if it’s a perfectly usual thing for a person to have as an accessory.
“You’re the type of person who forgives other people for making mistakes,” he says.
Anger flares inside of me, so much of it I’m surprised my hair doesn’t spontaneously turn the color of Hannah’s.
“You don’t get to tell me who I am.”
Surprise flickers in his eyes, but he regains control of his expression quickly. “You’ve been different lately. I know it’s my fault. But I need you to understand that nothing happened with those women except inappropriate flirting. I was having cold feet, I’ll admit to that, but now I realize how stupid I was to jeopardize our future. Sophie, you’re the perfect wife for me. You?—”
Jonah cuts off abruptly at the sound of someone approaching. He glances toward the noise and tenses his jaw.
“You were saying?” Rob says conversationally, leaning against my side of the booth. He’s holding the drink I made him. His body language is relaxed, bored almost, but something fierce is flashing in his eyes. I’m glad for it. I’m glad for him, being here, joining his strength with mine. I can practically feel it pulsing from him. I truly must be spending too much time with Dottie and Briar, because his energy feels friendly. Warm. Supportive.
“Don’t let me interrupt you, man,” Rob says, waving his glass. “You seemed really impassioned. It was just getting interesting. There are a few other people behind you who also want to see where you’re going with this, right, guys?”
I peer over my shoulder and see a teenager’s face raised over the back of my booth, but he disappears the instant our eyes meet, like a groundhog fleeing his shadow.
“I see you’re drinking again,” Jonah says in a withering tone.
Rob lifts the glass in a silent cheers. “Please, continue. Like I said, we’re enjoying the show. I assume you came tonight on purpose, because I told you I thought you should leave Sophie alone, and you wanted to prove you could get her back, right? So, please. Prove it. I’m paying attention. Lots of us are. But there may be a plot twist you’re not prepared for.”
“You’re shit-faced,” Jonah sneers.
“I made the drink for him,” I say, anger making my blood boil. “It’s nonalcoholic. He’s just being a good friend to me.”
“Why are you hanging out with my deadbeat brother, anyway?” Jonah lashes out at me. “This is the second time I’ve seen you together. You know we don’t get along.” His voice is full of accusation, and the injustice of it sends goosebumps across the surface of my skin.
“It’s none of your business who I spend time with,” I say tightly. “I may be the perfect wife for you, Jonah, but you would not be the perfect husband for me. I’m really glad you thought I had to have exactly the same phone as you with exactly the same wallpaper, because otherwise I might have made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“You’re making the biggest mistake of your life right now,” he says, standing.
It’s uncomfortable to stand in these booths. Either the seat or the table digs into your legs, but a flash of intuition tells me he’s doing it just so he can look down at me. He loves looking down at people. He even bought shoes with a two-inch lift so he could do it more efficiently.
Pure rage flash fries my Pollyanna side, and I stand up on the seat of the booth. So I can look down at him .
He stares at me in disbelief. It’s the same stare he gave me that day at Silver Star, the who are you and what did you do with the pushover I’m used to? stare. The tasting room goes silent for half a second and then erupts into conversation.
I’m probably going to regret this. Possibly a lot. Seconds ago, I was worried about Jonah making a scene, and now I’m the one doing it. But something inside of me has burst, and I can’t sit down. I can’t. I wave at the crowd and then blow them a kiss. In the back of my head a panicked voice is screaming, but I shove it down, down, down .
My friends still haven’t returned, but I’m certain it won’t be long now. They’ll have heard the uproar.
“Get down from there,” Jonah says, his cheeks turning red. You’re making a fool of yourself again.”
“I thought you wanted that.” I point to the boom box. “Go ahead, we’ll perform a duet together. Heck, if you’ll sing a duet with me right now, I’ll agree to have dinner with you so we can talk about everything you totally didn’t do. We’ll even get dessert.”
“But I’ll be sitting in the booth behind you,” Rob says with a laugh. “That’s nonnegotiable. And I get to share the appetizers. I never want to eat all twelve chicken wings.”
“Well?” I ask Jonah.
It’s meant as a challenge, and it works. I can tell he never meant to serenade me. It was a threat, maybe even a bluff.
“Is there even a tape in that boom box?” I ask.
I can tell by the look on his face that there isn’t. For some reason I’m more offended by this than the rest of his bullshit.
“I want you to leave me alone,” I tell him, my voice rising with every word. “I never want to see you again. This is over. Done. ”
Silence has descended on the bar, and I can feel dozens of eyes on me. I glance around. My friends still aren’t around, and there’s no sign of Dylan, which is probably why we haven’t been interrupted. My coworker behind the bar gives me a shaky nod, like she’s not sure whether she should intervene or support me through my public crisis.
“We are no longer engaged,” I tell everyone. “This is over. Permanently. ”
“It’s probably because of all those STDs,” I hear someone say.
Jonah looks so furious, I’m surprised he doesn’t burst spontaneously into flame.
“I can have any woman I want,” he says spitefully. “Any woman, anywhere, anytime. Why would I want a washed-up bartender whose own family doesn’t want anything to do with her?”
The words are meant to stab me where it hurts, and they do. I become intensely aware of all those eyes on me, staring at me as if I were wearing a scarlet letter. Only I’m pretty sure mine is an L, for loser, instead of an A, for adultery.
My knees feel like they want to buckle, but I wrap my hand around the pendant at my neck and stand tall. It’s the pink crystal from Dottie. Briar surprised Hannah and me by making our crystals into matching necklaces. It’s a sign of love and friendship, and even though I was initially afraid of what it signified—moving on, trusting again—it gives me strength.
I refuse to sit back down.
“You’ll want to be careful about the way you talk to her,” Rob says from his stalwart position at my side of the booth. He stands up tall and straight, and suddenly he’s pure menace, his arms loose at his sides and ready to do damage to Jonah.
“Why?” Jonah asks, giving a bitter laugh. “You never gave a shit about her until a few weeks ago. You have a sudden taste for my leftovers?”
Rob sets down his drink. It’s obvious he’s seconds away from punching Jonah in the face again, this time in front of a large crowd of people. He’d get into trouble for it, and I’m sure his chances of becoming a foster parent for that boy would be obliterated.
Oh, I hate Jonah.
I hate him in the way a person can only hate a dream gone sour. I don’t want to think the best of him, or even try to improve him as a person with crystals, the way Dottie hopes to do. I want to destroy him. I want to make him feel as insignificant and unwanted as he made me feel. I want to watch him cry .
It’s an awful, sickening feeling, especially when I’ve poured so much energy into being a glass-half-full person. A good influence. Someone who brings out the best in other people. But I don’t want to deny the impulse. I want to grip it with both hands.
And then it hits me.
Hannah told me the best revenge would be dating Jonah’s brother.
Rob said the only way out of the mess Jonah’s created for him might be to jump into a serious relationship.
Plus, Rob made it pretty clear he doesn’t want anything to do with his father’s side of the family.
And Dottie said our fates were intertwined.
“Help me down, honey,” I say to Rob, giving him a please, for the love of God play along look.
Jonah seems taken back, almost like he thinks I’m talking to him, and Rob looks like I just axed him in the head.
Rob recovers first, scooping me into his arms. I gasp as he pulls me into him. His chest is so solid and warm, and my whole body is suddenly filled with a different kind of awareness. Even here, in front of everyone, in front of freaking Jonah .
“Thanks,” I say, peering up into his eyes. I silently will him to play along. “I think we’d better tell him.”
His eyes are full of conflicting emotions, and for a second, doubt takes hold. I was impulsive again, first by getting up on the booth seat, and now this, and?—
Rob dips his head to kiss me.