Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
SOPHIE
“You’re sure it’s her?” I ask Hannah.
“Yes, I used a Google image search, and the article I’d seen popped up.”
“Smart women do foolish things all the time,” Briar says resignedly. “Look at us.”
The smart woman in question is Nora Leigh, the brewer at The Ginger Station. Hannah had recognized her because she’d seen an article about her in Get Local magazine. Female brewers are few and far between.
We’ve spent the last several minutes discussing Nora. Hannah, Briar, and I are at Buchanan Brewery. It’s closed today, but Dylan told me I could bring them by for a taste test. I poured each of us flights of all six NA cocktails I’ve been working on. My friends are sitting across from me in high-top chairs, and I’m standing on the other side of the bar, anxiously awaiting their opinions on my drinks.
I’ve felt edgy all day, as if something’s squirming just beneath my skin. You’re falling in love with Rob , a voice inside of me whispers. It’s too fast. He’s going to change his mind. He’s going to realize his family’s more important than you, even though Jonah sucks.
I’ve tried to quiet the voice that has been telling me for years that nothing could possibly make up for the harm I’ve caused. For being the child who cost her family so much money and stress.
I wouldn’t willingly admit this to anyone, but before my friends showed up at Buchanan, I spent several minutes poring over the texts Rob’s sent me over the past few days, trying to convince myself that I’m not imagining things. That he really cares about me.
“You seem distracted,” Briar comments. “Is it because of Nora?”
“Nah,” Hannah says. “She’s not hung up on the genius Jonah tricked into dating him. She’s thinking about Rob’s dick.” She lifts one of the little glasses as if to cheer me on. She doesn’t take a sip, though, which sets me on edge. What if they hate my drinks? What if they’re bad? She’s spent years working at Big Catch. She knows what people like. She’ll know whether or not Dottie and I have been wasting our time.
“I’d probably be distracted too,” she continues. “It’s been a while since I’ve had any.”
“Since Jonah?” Briar asks.
Hannah huffs a laugh. “Yeah, right. I took home a one-night stand the night I found out. I needed a palate cleanser, just like I told Sophie to find one. But Sophie being Sophie, she had to fall madly in?—”
“I’m not in love with him,” I lie. “It’s only been, I mean…a month ago I didn’t even like him.”
“But you still must have secretly wondered what he looks like naked, right? I mean, he’s a looker.”
“No! Wait, do you secretly wonder what Rob looks like naked?”
“Yes,” Hannah says carelessly, “but not because I want to sleep with him. I secretly wonder what everyone looks like naked. It’s the great equalizer, don’t you think? Without clothes on, you can’t hide anything.”
“Except for a black soul,” Briar says darkly.
Hannah waves one of the tiny drink glasses at her, the Sunshine Spritzer, the one I’m proudest of. “Yeah, but you said you can see auras.”
“It’s an imperfect science.” From the small smile on Briar’s face, she’s obviously trying to needle Hannah.
I feel a swell of fondness for both of them, but I narrow my focus on Hannah, because she’s finally trying the drink.
“There’s no alcohol in these?” Hannah asks, eyebrows nearly to her hairline.
“Not a drop. What do you think?”
“It’s good. Really good,” she says, eyes gleaming with approval. “They’d be even better if you poured some vodka in them, but?—”
Briar gives Hannah her best disapproving-teacher look.
“Okay, fine, they’re great exactly the way they are,” Hannah says, rolling her eyes. “Plus, people need to sober up at the end of the night, but you still want them ordering drinks. This is brilliant, actually.”
I pause, weighing my next question. I feel dirty even thinking about it, but Rob said I shouldn’t downplay my contributions. “If I, you know…if they put my drinks on the menu, and they’re successful, should I ask for some kind of recognition? Rob seemed to think I was selling myself short by not asking.”
“Yes,” Briar says briskly. “Especially since this could be the starting point for something bigger.”
I part my lips, ready to argue, but Hannah interjects, “Exactly what I was thinking. These flavors are great.” She gestures to one of the glasses. “What if there was, like, a beer and an NA drink with the same flavor profile? You could do a tasting with a friend who doesn’t imbibe. It would be fun. A hook that would bring people in.”
“Wow,” I say, amazed. “I hadn’t thought that far ahead.” In the beginning, this had been just a fun project, a way to make sure Rob had something to drink other than flat soda. It’s developing into something larger, mostly because I’ve let other people help.
Hannah snaps her fingers. “That’s why you have us. Briar’s really good at business stuff, and I know how to entertain people.”
I look at her and then Briar, feeling tension form a knot in my gut. There’s another reason I asked them here…
Dropping my gaze to the bar, I trace the woodgrain with my finger. “So, I had another reason for luring you guys out today.”
“Yes, damn you and your delicious free drinks,” Hannah jokes. “I knew there’d be a catch. If this is about the prom thing, then yes, obviously we’re going. Travis texted me about it too.”
“He asked you to prom?” I ask, excited even though she’d made a point of saying she wasn’t interested in him.
“No.” She rolls her eyes at me. “He just wanted to make sure we’re coming, because it would probably be boring for you while they’re playing if you’re by yourself.”
I beam at her. “Rob’s going to get a limo to pick us up. It’ll be like a real prom.”
She laughs. “So some inexperienced eighteen-year-old is going to try to feel me up in the back seat of a Buick?”
Briar smiles at us. “It’ll be fun.” She sets her hand on mine for a second before pulling away. “But you were going to tell us something, Sophie. I don’t think it was about the show.”
I inhale in a deep breath, reminding myself of how much my connection with Rob has deepened because I let him in. I want the same for my friendship with these two women, my fellow babes of brewing.
“I…I think maybe you’ve realized I had a weird adolescence.”
“Were you in a cult?” Hannah asks. “We have this bet going.”
Briar gives her another stern-teacher look. “It’s not a bet. You asked me if I thought she’d been in a cult, and I said maybe. ‘Maybe’ does not constitute a bet.”
Of course they’ve been wondering.
“I did something bad,” I say, tears welling in my eyes. “And for a while, I thought I’d ruined my life. It felt like everyone had abandoned me, and maybe they were right to.”
Hannah nods in acknowledgement. “You can tell us anything. I already told you my mom took off when I was little. I know how it feels to be left behind. Briar does too.”
“I do,” she agrees. “My parents sent me away to boarding school when I was six.”
“Oh Briar,” I say, pressing a hand to my heart. “I didn’t know that.”
She shrugs. “You met my father. It was probably for the best.”
“I’m sure it doesn’t hurt any less,” I say softly, fully understanding. I massage the back of my neck, which has tightened with tension. “I was sent away to reform school when I was sixteen. I’ve barely seen my parents since.”
“ Reform school? ” Hannah asks. “What’d you do, compliment someone to death? Strangle them with handknit scarves?”
Feeling numb, I say, “No. It’s bad. Really bad, actually.”
I take a deep, shuddering breath, suppressing the old sense of panic attempting to flood back in. They won’t judge me, I tell myself. They won’t leave me. Then I release the captured breath and speak in a rush, telling them everything. It’s hard, but it’s much easier than I thought it would be. I know it’s because I already shared the truth with Rob.
They both hug me from across the bar, and then Hannah comes over to my side and grabs the vodka bottle from the top shelf. We all laugh as she tops off all of our glasses.
“Let’s carry these to a booth so you can sit with us,” Briar says. “It feels weird having you across the bar from us.”
Once we’re all comfortably situated in a booth, Hannah lifts one of her glasses. “To Sophie. For being a brave-ass bitch and telling us her secret.”
“To Sophie,” Briar echoes, and I feel my cheeks burning as I lift one of the little glasses and drink with them.
It feels like I’m letting go of a weight I’ve been carrying for years, the effort breaking my back and sapping my strength.
As we set our glasses down, Briar asks, “Does Jonah know?”
“Who cares about Jonah?” Hannah says. “Does Rob know?”
“He does.” I tell them. “But Jonah doesn’t. I knew I should tell him, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”
“Maybe you subconsciously sensed his aura,” Briar says, playing with her hair. “I think I did too. That’s why I felt so uncertain all the time. You can’t be uncertain of yourself if you’re a woman in business.”
“So you think we all subconsciously knew he was an asshole?” Hannah asks her. “That tracks. You know, it’s for the best that he never knew about the fire, Sophie. I’m guessing Rob was cool about it?”
I think about Rob’s heartfelt reaction to my confession, and I can hardly contain my smile. “Yeah, more than cool. He’s been through some hard stuff too.”
I consider whether he’d want me to share what Jonah did to him and decide not to. It’s his private business, and it’s up to him who he shares it with.
“Well, let’s hoist one up for Rob,” Hannah says with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She lifts one of the taster cups. “For not being a complete and total asshole. I’m so done with assholes.”
“Did Jonah get on your case about the TP thing?” I ask, frowning.
She gives a hearty laugh. “Oh, he tried. He texted me from an unknown number and said if I ever come near him or his house again, he’ll call the police. And that I was lucky his girlfriend convinced him not to press charges.”
“What a dick,” I say, scowling.
“So I told him I’d give my brother his address if he ever comes near any of us again. I have a feeling he’ll be keeping his distance.”
“Is Liam that scary?” I ask in disbelief.
Jonah’s shorter and not as well-built as Rob, but he’s hardly shrimpy.
Hannah considers this, then says, “He’s a big, grumpy guy who’s made his dislike of Jonah very clear. Plus, he’s in this amateur boxing club. Jonah’s terrified of him.” A sigh seeps out of her. “So is management. He’s squabbling with them again, and I’m sick of being the intermediary.”
“Maybe you should stop,” I say, knowing it’s not that easy. But I would have kept quiet in the past, and I’m learning to express my opinions. To value them, even. “I was hovering over Otis, and once I stopped, he’s actually stepped up. It’s awesome.”
Hannah shrugs. “Otis is a golden retriever. Liam is like…a grumpy old dog who barks at people to get off his porch, then barks at them for leaving.”
“And you’re the kind of woman who barks back,” I say.
Hannah smiles. “I’ll drink to that.”
“Me too,” Briar says, lifting one of her cups. “But I have a feeling the trouble isn’t over.”
Same.