21. Chapter 21
Chapter 21
Stella
S ome overly excited blonde did my makeup. She insisted that I couldn't show up on camera without goo on my face because it would wash me out. I told her to take her foundation and powders far, far away from me. I did my own makeup the way I used to. It would have to be enough.
Noah told the hyper blonde that he was okay with his shiny spots, so she could keep her powders and brushes to herself with him as well.
I think, to keep the peace, the producer announced that he'd fix our flaws in post-production. The interview would be broadcast late afternoon.
We were doing it at my old place, Noah's new place…our fake together place. I suggested the porch, and Delilah Rae's people thought it was a grand idea.
"Just like the Meghan Markle-Oprah interview," someone said, and I groaned. Kill me now!
When the people running around and setting up exhausted me, I went into my old bedroom to find some solace.
Except for the things I'd taken, everything else was exactly where I left it. Even the bed was made, but the sheets were new. I'd taken mine with me. My blue and white antique vase was filled with flowers—blue daisies, my favorites.
I sat down on the bed, and tried to process all that had happened just this morning. No way was I going to try to analyze the past several months. That needed a therapist to sort out. Well, this morning would also need one…or maybe a team of psychologists.
"How are you feeling?"
I looked up at Noah. He was in the doorway in jeans and a linen shirt. He looked like a businessman in repose.
The energizer blonde bunny had suggested I wear something dark because pale doesn't play well in front of the camera. So, I was wearing a dark blue, cotton shift dress. Simple. Me.
I looked at my hands on my lap and finally looked at my fake engagement ring.
It was eye-catching. The stunning blue sapphire at its center, surrounded by a delicate halo of tiny diamonds, was reminiscent of a daisy. The band was intricately designed with a floral pattern in white gold, intertwining around my finger as if a vine had wrapped itself in eternal bloom.
"Why did you choose this ring?" I asked.
I heard the door close. I didn't look up at him but heard him walk to me. He crouched in front of me.
"Look at me, Sweet."
I shook my head. For months, I'd shed the sweet, and now he was demanding it again. My eyes filled with reluctant tears. Had he picked this ring by accident, or was it deliberate? And if it was deliberate…why would he take such care to get me a fake engagement ring shaped like a daisy? The flowers that made me happy, the same ones that were in my garden and right now in a vase in what we were pretending was our bedroom.
"Stella," he murmured, lifting my chin with a finger. "I can't ask for forgiveness. I know that."
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
"Fuck, baby." He sat down next to me and wiped my tears. "That crazy makeup woman is going to go nuts if you fuck up her work."
I gave him a watery laugh.
"I'm so tired, Noah," I confessed.
"I know. We just need to get through this, and then you can sleep for as long as you need."
"Why are you doing this?" I asked, misery evident in my voice and my demeanor. All the pain I'd been stuffing inside me was aching to be released because he was here.
"Because I owe you, Sweet. I owe you more than I can repay. Because I need to fucking sleep again, and I haven't been able to since…. I close my eyes, and I see you sitting across from me in my office. Your silent tears scream at me and…." His voice shook as he trailed away. "My sister despises me. My closest friend has lost respect for me. I don't blame them. I feel the same about myself."
I sighed. "What do you want me to say, Noah? You did this, and now you're laying your pain and guilt on me?"
"I'm sorry. You're right. It's not fair to you. Do you have any questions on how we play this?" He stood up.
I continued to stare at my engagement ring…my fake engagement ring. It was beautiful. I loved it. I wish Noah was giving this to me in a different universe where he actually loved me as I did him, where he didn't take an extraordinary sexual experience and make it cheap—and now it was worse because the world had seen it.
"No. I'll be out in five minutes."
"Take your time. I'll stall them."
I waited for the door to open so I could hear him leave, and when it didn't, I raised my head to see what was holding him up.
His blue eyes were fierce and sincere. "Sweet, you're a strong and wonderful woman, don't let an asshole like me ruin you. Now, clean yourself up, and let's do this so you can claim your life back."
"Noah, why did you pick this ring?" I asked again.
He smiled wanly. "I saw it in an antique store in Charleston the weekend you and I were there."
That was a month after we'd started seeing each other. It made no sense that he should buy me a ring so early into a relationship that he'd manipulated me into, one that he knew came with an expiration date.
He saw the confusion on my face and shrugged. "I knew it was yours when I saw it in an antique store. The sapphire and diamonds arranged like a daisy, diamond petals with a sapphire center. It felt like providence to find it."
"Still doesn't explain why you bought it."
His Adam's apple bobbed. There was misery in his eyes. "Because it reminded me of you. Because even then subconsciously I knew that I…," he shook his head, "What the fuck do you want me to say, Stella? "
That I mattered as a human being to you. That you cared about your Sweet Stella just a teeny-tiny bit.
"Nothing, Noah. Let's get this done."
I felt like an old woman as I walked out with him to tell my fake love story to a stranger.
Watching Noah play the loving fiancé was a revelation. The man was a chameleon. He could charm effortlessly. Hell, if I didn't know the truth, even I'd believe that he was in love with me.
"Someone took a private video of my fiancée and me…something that is personal, ours, and showed it to the world." Noah sounded just as sad as my real fiancé would if our sex tape had been watched by half of the US population. "It's a violation, and I'm deeply troubled by it."
"Who could do such a thing?" Delilah asked, concern furrowing her brows.
Noah took my hand in his and lifted it to his mouth. Wow! This man had all the moves. No wonder I'd been an easy mark for him. He played me like a fucking violin.
"I hate to say this," Noah said, wrapping an arm around me and hugging me close. "But I believe a woman I used to see before I met Stella was involved."
Delilah gasped. "Can you share with us who this woman is?"
"I'm afraid not," Noah said reluctantly. "As you know, Louisiana takes revenge video releases such as this quite seriously."
He paused and squeezed my shoulder. I snapped out of my blank brain. We'd discussed when I'd start speaking, and right now was the time.
"We don't want to hurt anyone…legally," I added. "As terrible as this is…the person who did this…well, their conscience is not our business."
Our dialog was not perfectly choreographed, but I thought we were holding our own rather well.
Delilah Rae was charming, vivacious, and completely fake. I hated this part of the world we lived in. I absolutely detested it. But as a senator's daughter, I was always aware of it, even if I managed to avoid it most of my life.
Well, the chickens have come home to roost, haven't they, Stella?
"I have to ask…why did you even make such a recording?" Delilah looked almost lecherously at Noah.
I didn't blame the girl. The man was sex on a stick. I'd never had a sexual experience as intense as the one we shared. Noah knew his way around a woman's body, and when you were in bed with him, he took it as a responsibility to get you off…several times, before he came. But he also knew how to take his pleasure.
That one night had been a revelation to me about how sex could be.
"Blow me, baby," he said boldly, making me feel audacious as well.
Sex had always been, not precisely taboo, but something I was shy about. With Noah, there seemed to be no room for shyness.
He was sitting up in bed, his lips coated with my juices. I leaned down and took him in my mouth.
"You look at me when you suck me off, Sweet." He gripped my hair to make me do as he commanded. "Yeah, like that, so I can see what it does to you to have me deep down your throat."
A part of me had been shocked at how I'd let Noah take over my body. The same part of me had said I told you so several times, since the man had toppled my world. Never again would I give in to the allure of a man, sexy or not.
"Delilah, what we do in the privacy of our bedroom is our business." Noah gripped my hand, making sure that my fake engagement ring was visible. I marveled at his ability to keep his story straight and stay in character, when I felt my hold on reality slipping.
"I understand, Noah, but it's not something decent people do, now do they?"
Judgmental bitch!
"What exactly do decent people do, Delilah?" I gritted out. "And who are these people? I refuse to be shamed about my sexuality and how I express it in the privacy of our bed. If I want to make a video of me sucking off my fiancée, that's my fucking business."
The crew froze. Delilah looked like I'd kicked her tits.
Noah chuckled loudly, and then quietly said, dripping amusement, "Maybe we edit that out?"
"Yes, yes," Delilah squeaked. "Ah…let's take that whole thing off from…let's move on."
"Maybe we should stop this now." I didn't have any more fucks left in me. This was adding insult to injury. I was already humiliated, now I had to carry the burden of a made-up engagement, and then eventually go through a made-up breakup that would also get plastered in the media so they could bring up references to the salacious sex tape.
Noah squeezed my hand and nuzzled my cheek. "Baby, just a little longer. Hmm?"
Seriously? Was he going all baby as the fake fiancée? Shoot me the fuck now!
I smiled disingenuously. "Of course, honey bunny."
Honey bunny? I watched Pulp Fiction a few nights ago, so I knew where that came from. If I thought it would upset Noah, it didn't. He seemed cheered by it.
"They're so cute," energizer blonde, the makeup girl, giggle whispered from the side.
Delilah Rae obviously didn't think so. My little outburst had not helped her warm up to me, and she hadn't felt warm toward me from the start, probably because she wanted in Noah's pants.
Have at it, lady! I don't give two shits.