27. Chapter 27
Chapter 27
Stella
N eveah was like the feminine version of Noah. She was tall, slender, and gorgeous. She and her brother had the same piercing gray eyes, stunning and arresting.
I was in the garden when Noah brought her home for the airport. As soon as she saw me, she surprised me by hugging me.
"Thank you for letting me meet you." She kissed my cheek. "You're so beautiful."
I was too stunned to speak. This was not what I expected. There was no animosity here, just…affection. Undeserved. She didn't even know me.
"Baby girl, do you want something to drink?" Noah asked, standing at the doorway to the porch.
"Maybe I should unpack first." She looked at me, waiting for my permission.
"Why don't I unpack for you," Noah suggested.
"And I can fix you a drink," I nodded at Noah, a tacit understanding between us.
It was late afternoon, and we agreed that it was an excellent time to have a glass of wine. I found a Sauvignon Blanc in the wine fridge and popped it open.
We sat by the pool under an umbrella. Neveah leaned back in the lounge chair. She was in a long, yellow, and white chiffon dress. It was simple, but she made it look elegant. There was something about Neveah; she elevated herself, just like her brother did.
"How are you holding up?" she asked me.
I watched the blue water of the swimming pool. Just this morning, I'd all but had an orgasm watching Noah get out of the pool and wipe himself down while I was pruning a rose bush. The anger between us had tempered, and we were almost friendly. He liked to touch me. Small gestures. A hand on the small of my back. A semi-hug as he reached for something around me in the kitchen. The stroke of a finger down my cheek when he thought I was asleep. The truth was I wasn't holding up all that well. My home, my haven, was a sexually charged zone—and Noah and I were both vibrating as we continued to co-habit like roommates who wanted very badly to fuck.
"I'm well, thank you," I replied politely.
She chuckled. "That's not what Noah tells me."
I arched an eyebrow.
"He knows he broke something so fundamental inside you that you may not trust any man ever again."
Her frankness was another charming surprise.
"I hate that I give him so much power over me," I replied candidly, because someone as open as Neveah invited the same from me. I was learning to release the feelings inside. Neveah, of all people, understood how I felt; she had been through something similar.
She sipped her wine, and then set the glass on the table next to her lounge chair. "I wasn't a virgin when your father hired Holden. His mother used to work in our house, and I always had a crush on him."
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
She shrugged. "What Noah did to you happened a minute ago, what Holden did was over a decade ago. I've had enough therapy that it doesn't define my life. But it used to. Holden was a year older than me. I thought he liked me…and he probably did."
"What happened to him?"
"According to his mother, who was also devastated by what Holden did, he joined the military. I never knew why he did what he did—was it the money? What was it? Did he never even like me? Was the sex bad?"
It felt like she was voicing my questions for Noah.
"I wasn't in love with Holden. My father was devastated. Noah was pissed as hell. He'd have beaten Holden within an inch of his life, so I was glad he disappeared right after. Royal had to take care of me because I didn't want Noah or my father around. I felt so ashamed of what they'd seen."
I heard a noise behind me and saw Noah standing, his hands in the pockets of his linen pants, his expression blank as he listened to his sister.
"Noah said the shame was Holden's and your father's."
"And he was right." I wanted to comfort this woman who knew my heart. She and I were around the same age, and I couldn't imagine going through what she had as a teenager.
"When Daddy died, I tried to kill myself." She raised her wrists as if to show me her scars, which I couldn't see from where I sat.
Noah didn't move, he just stood like a statue, a man listening to a story he'd heard before, one that had taken some of his own humanity away.
"That was when I realized that I had to move forward."
"How did you do it?" I asked.
She smiled. "You don't live all the moments of your life at once; it's one at a time. So, I took one step for every moment, and as I healed, it became easier to walk toward a future, and before I knew it, I was running. I was free. I had my first boyfriend in college. A nice guy."
Noah scoffed.
Neveah rolled her eyes. "He is nice, Noah. We were together for two years. He was patient, and even though it took me several months to have sex, I finally did. He made it special and amazing."
"Why did you break up?"
"We're still friends, close. Jacob is pansexual and is now married to a man, Carlos. We sort of live together…our homes are next to each other. We're like this weird family. I'm their son, Marco's, godmother. You want to see pictures?"
There was a naiveté about Neveah, which was at odds with what she'd had to deal with. And, yet, she was whole now. She trusted. She had friends. She had lovers.
"Isn't Marco the cutest?" There was pride in her voice, and I told her he was, and I wasn't lying.
Noah's phone buzzed. He walked back into the house.
"I know what he put you through is a lot worse," Neveah consoled.
"Why do you think that? I'm older, more experienced to handle this, don't you think?"
She shook her head sadly. "This isn't about age, Stella. I wasn't in love with Holden. You're in love with Noah. That's got to be crushing."
I cleared my throat. "Why would you think I was in love with your brother?" I challenged, uncomfortable that Noah had talked to her about what I said to him. What else had he shared with her beyond his role in screwing up my life?
"He didn't say anything," Neveah explained as if reading my mind. "I can see it."
"I call bullshit on that," I snapped, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice.
"It's written all over your face. He's in love with you, too. But sometimes love is not enough."
I didn't know what to say to that, so I shrugged.
"And you don't have people in your life like I did. I had my father, Noah, Royal, and a few other friends. I wasn't alone. That's why I came, so I could be here for you. I'm sorry it took so long. I was too angry with Noah, and I had coursework to finish. I hope we can be friends, Stella. I hope I can be part of your support system."
I was about to reply when Neveah screeched. "Royal."
She ran into the arms of Noah's friend and lawyer. I'd met him a few times. He was always reserved with me and careful about what he said.
He lifted Neveah off her feet, spinning her around. "Oh, my Sunshine." He kissed her nose.
There was an easy affection between them…and something more.
"Get your hands off my sister, Royal," Noah snapped.
"Fuck off," Royal muttered. "Hi, Stella."
I nodded.
Neveah grabbed his hand. "I have something for you. Which one is my room?" she asked her brother.
"Royal knows. I unpacked for you."
Noah sat on a lounger facing me, his elbows resting on his knees. "You okay?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Because Neveah says what she thinks. The girl doesn't have a filter."
"Her honesty is refreshing."
He laughed. "Yeah, refreshing, and an arrow through the heart at times."
He leaned in and cupped my cheek, his thumb caressing my skin. I resisted the urge to lean into the palm of his hand. "I was thinking we could all go out for dinner tonight. Would that be okay with you?"
"I'll just stay home." I knew it was petty, but he was rattling my brain cells by touching me. Is that why he did it? Because he knew the effect he had on me?
"Come to dinner with us," he coaxed, and then whispered, "I'm sorry, but I have to…." He kissed me softly, his hand moving to angle my head so he could go deeper.
I had my hand on his wrist, initially to pull him off me, but before I knew it, I was a participant in the kiss, willing and wanting.
He licked my lips. "Sometimes I can't help myself. I need you…so fucking much. I know you won't give us a chance, but come for dinner at least? Or I can cook, and we can eat at home."
It was churlish. His sister was visiting, and he wanted me to spend time with her. I liked her company, so I knew I'd maybe even have a decent time. After the months I'd had, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.
"Okay, fine, whatever ," I gave in with ill grace.