Chapter 37
CHAPTER 37
BECKETT
I t was surreal, sitting at the same old scarred kitchen table with two people he’d assumed, for nearly half his life, hated him.
And for the first time in all those years, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. One he’d gotten so used to carrying he’d forgotten how heavy it had actually become until it was no longer there.
“You’ve done well for yourself.” Julie’s smile was that of a proud mama, and his chest ached at the sight of it. “We’ve been watching your career over the years. Charleston’s own Wolf of Wall Street.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” he said with a laugh. “But I do okay.”
“Better than okay, from what we’ve heard.” That same proud smile stretched across Scott’s face. “But then, you always did have a good head on your shoulders. Smart as a whip, even as a little boy.”
“Thanks.” It felt wrong to accept their praise when their daughter’s death had been such a driving force in his success.
As if sensing his thoughts, Julie reached across the table, linking her fingers with his. Understanding shone in her eyes, her smile turning sad as she squeezed his hand. “You didn’t come all the way out to Lost River just to listen to us gush all over you. What’s on your mind, Beckett?”
He swallowed, then swallowed again. He hadn’t, he realized now, actually expected to get this far. All the scenarios he’d played over in his head on the drive here had ended with him being kicked out on his ass. Not welcomed home like some prodigal son.
“I, ah… met someone.” There. That wasn’t too hard.
“It’s about time.” For the first time since he’d arrived, Julie’s tone held a hint of censure. “We were wondering if you’d ever get around to it.”
Looking from one expectant face to the other, for a moment he could only blink. “You’ve been waiting for me to move on?”
The couple turned to each other, Scott reaching for his wife’s free hand. His voice was thick with tears when he spoke. “We were waiting for you to realize you deserve to be happy.”
“We know better than anyone how much you loved our Grace.” Tears shimmered on Julie’s lashes when she met Beckett’s gaze again. “And we know how much it hurt you to lose her. But punishing yourself by staying single was never the answer, baby.”
“I didn’t just lose her.” He’d thought he’d cried himself dry already, but apparently he still had tears to spare. “It was my fault she died.”
“Now what would make you say a damn fool thing like that?” Julie’s tone turned sharp. “What happened to my baby girl was nobody’s fault. Except maybe that greedy sonofabitch she was working herself ragged for.”
“I knew how hard she was working. How exhausted she was. I should have made her slow down. I should have made her quit her job. If I’d done something, anything, she’d still be with us.”
“You don’t know that.” His expression fierce, Scott reached for Beckett’s other hand. “You loved her, Beckett. And we know, we’ve always known that you did everything you could to keep her safe, even when she fought you on it. We never blamed you, son.”
“You should. It’s my fault she’s gone.”
“No, baby.” Julie shook her head. “No. It was never your fault. Is that really what you’ve been living with all these years?”
“Yes.” Dragging in a deep, shaky breath, he closed his eyes against the maelstrom of emotion battering him. “I should have done something.”
“Beckett. Look at me.”
Julie’s tone was all no-nonsense mom, and he obediently opened his eyes to meet her firm gaze. “Even if you’d been able to get her to quit, or scale back, or whatever it is you think you ‘should have done’, there’s no guarantee that would have saved her. Some things are just out of your control, baby. You have to accept that.”
“I don’t know if I can.” He’d built his entire life on the premise that anything he couldn’t control could be mitigated if he held a tight enough grip on everything he could control.
But where had that gotten him? Rich as fuck, sure, but without the only other woman who’d ever made him want to give up an ounce of his infamous control. Was it worth clinging to his apparently flawed premise if it meant losing her anyway?
“What about this new girl?” Julie asked, her eyebrow raising in a look that would have done any Domme justice. “You think she’s going to let you control every second of her life?”
“No. We actually just had a huge fight about me trying to do exactly that. I sort of quit her job for her, and she read me the riot act before kicking me out of her apartment.”
A wide grin stretched across Julie’s face. “Oh, I like her already. I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Yeah, well, I have to convince her to take me back, first.”
“You will.” There was such conviction in Julie’s tone, he was tempted to believe it himself. “You’re going to take yourself over there, and you’re going to apologize to that girl, and you’re going to tell her that Mama Julie told you that if you don’t get your head out of your ass, you’ll have to answer to me.”
Some of the sadness and grief gave way to amusement. “She’ll get a kick out of that.”
“Good. Then once you’ve made up with her, we’ll all go out for a nice dinner somewhere. Your treat, of course.”
“Of course.”
New tears welled in Julie’s eyes as she squeezed his hand, hard. “And then you’re going to stop being a stranger. We miss our boy.”
“I’ve missed you, too. So much. I just…”
“I know, baby.” Another hard squeeze as she wiped at the tears slipping down her cheeks. “And we understand. But it stops now. The blaming yourself, avoiding us, it all ends here. Understood?”
Beckett Stone wasn’t a man used to taking orders. But sitting there in the kitchen of his second childhood home, surrounded by two of the people he loved most in the world, he could only nod. “Yes, Mama.”
Ruby
Why hadn’t she taken the week off, like Dr. Winters had suggested?
Because you have bills to pay. And your landlord doesn’t give a fuck if you’re too sick to work.
Collapsing face down on her bed once again, Ruby groaned in relief as her aching muscles finally relaxed for the first time all day. As grateful as she was that Jacqueline had gotten her the job at Palmetto Enterprises back, she sorta wished it had taken a little bit longer. At least then she would have had an excuse not to go back right away.
The worst part was, now that she was home, she had to do things like clean her kitchen and make herself something to eat. No Daddy Beckett to come fuss over her anymore. Two whole days she’d gone without talking to him, and every text that came in from someone who wasn’t him was like another knife in the chest.
But it was fine. Good, even. They weren’t right for each other and even if he had wanted to work things out, which he obviously didn’t, they would just end up hurting each other again.
It was for the best that he hadn’t contacted her.
Seriously. It was.
Rolling onto her back, she stared up at her ceiling and sighed. Yeah. She still sucked at lying to herself.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket and when she finally gathered enough energy to pull it free to read the message, she scowled at the screen.
“Is he fucking psychic?”
Beckett
I’m on my way over. Can we talk?
Relief, dread, excitement, and a dozen other conflicting emotions crowded her chest as she read and reread the message. Two days of no contact and all of a sudden he was on his way to her house to ‘talk’?
High-handed, bossy asshole.
Part of her wanted to tell him to fuck off. To leave her alone and never contact her again.
But they’d still have to see each other at the club. And like it or not, she’d have to give up the friends she’d just found if she truly wanted to cut him off completely.
So they’d just have to find a way to be civil to each other. Which meant, unfortunately, talking through their breakup.
Was it even a breakup if you weren’t a couple?
For two people who’d wanted to keep things casual and simple, they’d certainly managed to make things really fucking complicated.
Blowing out a breath, she tapped out a message back.
Ruby
Yeah. I’m home.
No sooner had she sent the text, than a knock sounded at her door.
Cocky sonofabitch, wasn’t he?
Annoyed that she found that so damn attractive about him, that she still found anything about him attractive, she stomped out to the living room, yanking the door open to glare at him. “What if I’d said no?”
“I was really hoping you wouldn’t.”
He looked… different, somehow. Sad, which tore at her heart more than she wanted it to, but there was something else. And it was that something else that had curiosity pushing aside common sense as she gestured for him to come inside. “Well. Come in, I guess.”
Turning her back on him, she made her way over to the couch, where she wrapped herself up one of her grandmother’s blankets for a bit of comfort.
Beckett didn’t sit. He paced her tiny living room, nervous energy pouring off him in waves. Ruby pulled her blanket tighter around her, a shield of sorts against the crashing waves of his emotions.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he stopped to meet her gaze. “I owe you an apology. And an explanation.”
“I’ll take the apology, but there’s nothing you can say to explain what you did, Beckett. You took away my choices about a major life event, and then you lied to me about it. Nothing explains that.”
“I know. But I’d like to tell you, anyway.”
There was something in his voice that stopped her before she could issue a sarcastic response. Something deeper than just sadness over an ended relationship. Something that made her own chest ache just to hear it. And she realized, with a mixture of sympathy and fear, that he was ready to talk about her.
“All right. Tell me.”
Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply, as if he was gathering his courage. And when he opened his eyes again, she saw that same something she’d heard in his voice, and she nearly wept at the depth of his pain. “Her name was Grace. I loved her more than I thought I’d ever love anyone. I loved her, so fucking much, right up until the day she died.”