Chapter 8
EIGHT
JEWEL
I was struggling to control my breathing as I stepped back into my apartment. The moment I closed the door, the whine I’d been holding back burst free.
I sank to the floor and grabbed my hair, clutching it so tightly it hurt.
For a moment, I’d had her. I’d bitten her, and it was like the final omega piece I’d been missing had slotted into place. I’d finally been ready to start the life I’d always dreamed of.
Then I’d felt her push me away. I’d felt her horror, her anger, and her fear.
Every beat of my racing heart, every pulse of pain, was my body screaming at me to go back.
I had literally fled Jade’s apartment because I didn’t want… what?
Her to see me like this?
Or for her to reject me again?
I had no frame of reference for what was happening to me right now. The ugly storm of feelings was utterly wrecking me.
I wanted Jade.
I wanted her more than I’d wanted anything in my entire life. There was no shrugging it off or pretending otherwise.
Honestly, it was kind of terrifying if I lingered on it too long.
It was changing me. I’d never nested or purred, and I’d certainly never whined before today. Now I couldn’t seem to stop, the noise filling the air with my agony.
I needed her, and I knew she needed me, too, even if she wasn’t admitting it.
How could I explain this pull I felt for her?
She was fireworks illuminating my dark night.
She was the lightning rod to ground my electricity.
She’d always been my future, so where did that leave me? I was now free, with unimaginable influence and power, yet I didn’t have her.
It left me utterly miserable and pathetic, that’s what. I only had one person who I would trust to help me through this embarrassing meltdown.
?
CASEY
I jumped as the door slammed open and one of my sisters, Izzy, came skipping into the room. “Mom says it's dinnertime,” she told me, climbing up onto my lap.
I still couldn't believe how big she'd grown while I was away. When I’d left, I’d been helping her read simple books, pointing at each word and helping her sound them out. Now she had her own pile of graphic novels on her nightstand.
She gave a delighted giggle as I scooped her up and carried her back out into the kitchen.
“There you are,” my mom said, her face flushed from the heated air. “Put these on the table, would you, love?”
I set Izzy down, and she darted past the table into the living room. My family's place wasn't ideal. With my five siblings and my grandma, one more body took up a lot of space.
I started to set the table, and Ev approached me with a stack of hot pads.
“So?” she asked pointedly.
“What?”
“You’re worried. Is it your girlfriend?”
“He doesn’t have a girlfriend!” Addy called from the couch.
Ev glared at him. “I heard them on the phone the other day, dipshit.”
“Language, Eva.” That was Mom.
My youngest sister, Alora, butted in next. “Are you gonna get mawwied?”
I looked around, finding no escape. “Uh—” Man, had my house always been this chaotic? It had usually been quiet at the staff dorms.
“Well?” Ev demanded.
I was saved from answering by a call. I glanced at my phone screen and felt my hands go clammy.
“Gotta take this,” I told my mom, hurrying out of the noisy kitchen. I hesitated as I looked at my phone.
Calm down, I told myself. Be normal. I pressed the green button.
“Master Jewel?” I asked.
“Please tell me you can come over?” The usual snark in his voice was absent, and he sounded so sad, it made my heart ache. “I’m in a bit of a pickle, and I could use some company.”
Over? Like, to his place? That wasn’t a good idea for my vulnerable heart.
“Of course,” I replied.
?
I shifted the food containers my mom had packed me under one arm and pressed the buzzer for Jewel's apartment. My stomach fluttered with nerves.
Jewel was in there. He’d called me, and he'd asked me to come over.
I tried to calm my wildly beating heart as the door unlocked with a beep.
Jewel had called me.
I was someone he trusted. So, I was going to be there for him, and I wasn’t going to let some stupid crush get in the way. I made my way up to the second floor, hesitating as I found myself outside his apartment, sudden doubt threatening to overwhelm me.
What if this was a horrible mistake? What if he’d called me by accident?
I shook my head, steeling my resolve. Jewel was in there, and he needed me.
“Come in,” I heard a voice call.
I realized the door wasn’t locked. I opened it to a nice-looking apartment, but it seemed empty. “Master Jewel?” I called out, stepping inside.
“Here.” The wobbly voice came from the kitchen, and a manicured hand waved at me.
I walked over to find him curled up on the kitchen floor, eyes rimmed red. He still managed to be breathtakingly beautiful, even hunched over and with mascara smeared around his eyes. It made him look utterly miserable. What was he doing out here, instead of in his nest?
I set down the food and bent to scoop him into my arms. He sniffed and clung to me, his wet face resting on my chest, and I thought my heart might explode.
I pushed the thought away. He was an omega, and this was the best way to soothe him. Nothing more.
I sat down on his couch, tugging a blanket over us. He gave a satisfied little huff, which was honestly just…really cute.
“God, how pathetic.” He scrubbed his eyes. “I swear I never cried like this before I presented. Fucking hormones.”
“It’s not pathetic,” I said. “It’s normal to fall apart every once in a while.”
A couple more tears spilled from his eyes, and he snuggled closer. “Thanks for coming,” he muttered into my chest.
“I'll come anytime you need me to, Master Jewel.”
He lifted his head, a half-smile tugging at his lips. “Now, now, Casey, you can't go talking dirty like that while I'm all vulnerable.”
It suddenly felt very warm in here, and Jewel held my gaze. “I wasn’t—I didn’t mean—” I managed, and he gave another huff, his fingers moving to play with my shirt.
“Relax, I’m just teasing, Case. You get so cute when you’re all flustered.”
I was glad he felt normal enough to joke around. Flirting seemed to be a comforting pastime of his, considering how often he did it with me. Although, it did make being around him a kind of sweet torture.
“What happened? Are you all right?” I asked, trying to change the topic.
He looked at the ground and sniffed again. “It’s silly. I know it’s fine. But…”
“But?”
He hugged his knees, pouting. “Me and Jade had a little tiff tonight.” He sighed. “I don’t want anything if I don’t have her. And—can you believe this, Casey? Laurel sent me to a fucking shrink today, who told me I need a pack. What does he know?”
I nodded, holding him. I had a lot of thoughts on that, but Jewel seemed to want someone to listen.
He sighed. “I need her. I had her, Casey, for a moment. Then I bonded her, and she got all mad.”
Another kind of torture. Jewel and Jade did seem inevitable, even if Jade was mad at him right now. Which was fine. It made sense; both were bold and bright and amazing.
Jewel wrinkled his nose and folded his arms. “I don’t know why she’s being so stubborn! All I want to do is fucking worship her, and she keeps pushing me away.”
He really didn’t know why she was mad?
“Have you tried apologizing?” I asked.
“Apologizing?” He blinked at me. “But I didn’t do anything wrong.”
I cleared my throat. “But she thinks you did. I don’t know. Maybe you could try it?”
He sniffed, but then his eyes brightened. “I know! I’ve got to prove to her she can trust me. I’ll secure a bond with Hugo and you first. Then she’ll know I’m serious.”
I stared at him. “Um, what?”
“Can you believe she thinks I’m playing games with you? As if I’d be that cruel.”
He scoffed, but my brain was still trying to catch up. “You want me in your pack?”
He straightened in my lap. “Of course I do, teddy bear! I absolutely adore you. You’re the most precious thing and, well…” He paused, looking down the hem of the shirt he was fiddling with. A faint flush appeared on his cheeks. “I feel safe with you.”
I swallowed, a lump forming in my throat.
He looked up at me, blinking his long lashes. Instead of his usual coquettish look, this time he looked vulnerable.
Unsure.
“Do you want that, Casey? You want to be my beta?”
“I’d be honoured,” I told him.
He gave me a stunning smile and threw his arms around my neck.
I was still reeling from the ask.
Be in his pack?
With Jade and Hugo?
How would that even work?
He’d want Jade and Hugo for his heats, probably. Which meant I’d be supporting them.
Which meant I’d get to see all of them.
Together.
It was really warm in here, suddenly.
Jewel relaxed in my arms again, unaware of the sudden heat I was fighting.
“I mean it. God, do you think I’d let anyone else see me in this pathetic state? Don’t you dare tell anyone about this, by the way.”
“I would never.”
“I know you wouldn’t.” He pressed a kiss to the side of my head.
I smiled, my heart feeling so full. He wanted me to be with him forever. I’d do that for him in whatever way he’d let me.
“I don’t think it will fix things with Jade, though.”
“Nonsense, Casey, it’s perfect!”
I didn’t think this was the right time to point out he was wrong. He needed to feel settled. “Okay, we'll just get you feeling better. You should start by going to your nest.”
“My what?”
I cocked my head at him. “Your… nest. You do have one, right?”
He looked away. “Not really, no.”
I stood up quickly, causing him to yelp as he fell onto the couch. “You don’t have a nest here?”
He lifted his chin high, his face hardening a bit as he took in my shocked expression. “I don’t need one. I’ve never needed one before.”
Ah.
Maybe I kind of got it.
I crouched down in front of him, and he studied me through wet lashes. “You’re right. You don’t need one,” I told him, taking his hand. “But I think you should try one out, maybe?”
His lip trembled, and tears welled in his eyes again. He closed his eyes and took a breath.