Chapter 24
TWENTY-FOUR
JADE
I got Casey to park the car, and we all got out. I hesitated, then grabbed Jewel’s Striders cap and threw it into the nearest trash can.
“I thought you wanted me to wear that,” he said.
“We’re trying not to draw attention. We’ll have to grab you a Sox or Bruins one.”
“Whichever has the best color scheme, please.”
Hah. I was definitely getting him a Bruins one.
Hugo grabbed the scent blocker from his bag as I bought us all transit passes. Jewel was firmly sulking by the time I handed out the cards.
“Jade, noooo,” he whined. “Public transit? Are you serious?”
“We’re students right now. We take the bus.”
“Aren’t there, like, Ivy League schools here? I’m sure those students don’t take the bus.”
“Uh, yeah, they do.”
“Enough,” snapped Hugo. “Stop arguing and take the damn card.”
I glanced at him. He’d been more quiet and tense than usual in the last few hours, but it made sense. We were all so exposed out here. Casey handed Jewel a pair of sunglasses. They didn’t fully hide his disgusted expression as we boarded.
We took our spots near the back. Jewel almost fell over as the bus started, thankfully only knocking into Casey.
“What are you doing?” I asked him under my breath. “Hold on to the bar!”
“I don’t want to touch it,” he hissed.
“Are you serious right now?”
He dropped his hands inside his sleeves and tentatively placed his hand next to mine.
“Stop it!” I elbowed him, horrified.
People were already giving us funny looks. Thankfully a seat opened behind us, and I ushered him into it.
He glanced around the seat before glancing up at me, confused. “Where are the seat belts?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Seat belts, Jade. I know the government doesn’t care about poor people, but this is a tad obvious, don’t you think?”
“Amen,” said a dude behind us, who was missing half his teeth.
“Babe,” I said through gritted teeth. “Shut. Up.”
He gave me a glare that would have killed a lesser creature but did indeed close his mouth. We made it through the route to downtown without any other further incidents.
The street was crowded as we got out, and I was stressed. Every time someone looked at us for a moment longer than normal, my stomach swooped. Were a hoodie and sunglasses really enough to disguise Jewel? You could still see a bit of golden hair he couldn’t fully hide.
Finally, though, we stepped into the privacy of my Boston apartment.
Hugo brushed past us and went straight to the deck. I could feel him in the bond, and he became extremely relieved to have made it here.
“Well, I suppose it has character.” Jewel sniffed as we entered the room. It was fifties-styled, with vivid colors and quirky furniture.
“If you complain again, I’ll move us into a hotel,” I told him.
His mouth fell open in horror before he turned and stalked to the bathroom.
I threw myself down onto the bed and kicked off my shoes. Casey started unpacking our bags, and I watched with affection as he opened the drawers in the room and folded our spare clothes into them.
?
Jewel was staring out the window toward the ocean, an unreadable expression on his face. It was one of those rare moments he’d shut down his bond too.
I slipped off the bed and padded over to him. “You okay?”
He jumped slightly at the sound of my voice, then gave me a forced smile. “Oh, fine.” His voice was tight. “It’s just silly, really. Five years, and I had no idea you were so close.”
“I think I would have been mad if I’d known,” I told him. “Since the whole point of me coming here to get away from you.”
He laughed, turning to face me. “Right. You were pretty mad.”
“Were?”
“The past is in the past.” He wrinkled his nose. “Let’s leave it there, please.”
A pang of hurt twisted in my chest, and he stiffened as he sensed it. I swallowed, and he slipped his hand into mine.
“Look, some regrettable words were said. Yet here we are, right as rain.”
“No.” I pulled my hand back. I didn’t bother trying to shut down my end of the bond, because he needed to know how much it hurt when he said that. “No, we’re not, Jewel. I’m not.”
“Just leave it.” His hands dropped to his sides, his knuckles whitening as he balled them into fists. I was still getting used to our new bond but couldn’t sense him at all right now. His emotions were locked down tight. “You must have known I didn’t mean any of it. I was saying it to protect you.”
“You still did it, though! You chose to cut me out. You could have talked me and we could have dealt with it together, and you didn’t!”
“Stop.” His voice shook a little bit.
I felt tears starting to blur my vision. “It’s not fair! How can you say you love me, when you can’t even give me this?”
He hung his head and let out a breath. “Please, Jade. Stop. This is hard for me to think about—”
“Wow. That’s great, isn’t it? I’m sorry this is so hard for you. Guess you’d rather I suffer than admit the great Jewel Tate was fucking wrong.”
“I know I was wrong,” he hissed, finally looking up at me. His face was blotchy and red with tears, but what really shocked me was the desperation in his eyes.
“That’s not the hard part. I hate…” His voice was pure anguish, and he stopped to take a breath. “How fucking weak I was. He tried to kill me! My own father—I was supposed to be dead—and I was so fucking stupid. I thought he would never—his own son—”
He was panicking, struggling to breathe, and I grabbed him as he lurched forward. I helped him to the ground.
He curled around me, sobbing. “I’m sorry,” he choked out.
“I hate that I hurt you. When they were dragging me to the fight, all I could think about was you. How you’d be waiting for me in that dress I’d picked, and—and that I was going to die and you’d be waiting there.
For hours, and I’d never come. And it was so stupid because I’d told you—not—”
“Not to be late.” I rested my head against his.
He let out another choked sob and clutched me tight.
“I was supposed to be smarter. I thought I knew him, and I was so wrong. And the next day, you came and shouted at me, and Father was right there. I was so scared that he’d see how much you meant to me and hurt you.
And now every time you want me to talk about it, I can’t.
I’m so ashamed that I feel fucking sick. ”
He let out another sob and a wet sniffle. He looked up, his face red and puffy and his eyelashes thick with tears.
“But I’ve changed, I promise. Please believe me, Jade, I’m stronger now. I won’t let you down again.”
“Oh, babe,” I said, wrapping my arms around him.
“I’m not going to let you down again,” he repeated.
“You are,” I told him gently. “You’re human, Jewel. You’re going to fuck up and do stupid things and probably hurt me again.”
“No. No, I won’t.”
I leaned back, brushing his hair away from his wet face.
I pressed a kiss to his forehead. “And that’s okay.
I loved you back then, when you were a stupid teenager, and I love you now that you’re a stupid adult.
I don’t need you to be perfect. But I do need you to be able to face your mistakes and, y’know, apologise?
” I held my thumb and forefinger a centimeter apart. “Alittle bit?”
He sniffed, then wiped his nose—on my sleeve! Asshole.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I hurt you. I shouldn’t have kept on dismissing your feelings about it.”
“It was a bit of a dick move.”
He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah,” he breathed out. “I love you so much. I just wanted things to be normal between us again.”
“And now you know how,” I told him.
“So you forgive me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I do.”
“Of course you do,” he repeated softly, tugging me onto his lap. A purr rumbled to life as he pulled me against his chest.
He was warm and solid, and I felt like I could relax properly for the first time in months. His fingers combed through my short hair as he held me.
“Ah, but this was all part of my master plan.”
“What plan?”
“To get you back, of course. And it worked. Look, you’re letting me cuddle you.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I told him. “You did not have a mental breakdown just to fix our relationship.”
He nuzzled into my hair, clutching me tighter. “I would have, though. I’d have done anything to get you back. I love you so much, Jade. Always have. Always will. From the moment I first saw you.”
I laughed at the memory of Laurel and Jewel chasing me down and cornering me in a casino back room. “Yeah, you blushed redder than a tomato.”
“Because we’d been running.”
“Nope. It started when I took my hood off.”
“How do you remember that?”
I hesitated, my cheeks feeling warm. “Because I remember how you looked at me when you saw me. Staring at me like I was something amazing. No one had really cared to look at me since my mom.”
“Well, of course, I stared. We finally corner the master thief after literally months, and it’s the grand reveal, and it turns out she’s the prettiest person I’ve ever seen.”
“Shut up,” I mumbled. “That’s not true.”
“You know what? You’re right. I’m the prettiest. But you are number two.”
I rolled my eyes. “You were a total jerk.”
“I’m sorry, who was it who called me Juli-ass?”
I burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh, I forgot about that.”
He sniffed. “If we’re bringing up things to apologise for in the past…?”
?
HUGO
I took in a deep breath, then breathed out carefully as I counted to ten. My head felt tight, with pressure behind my eyeballs, as though they were trying to push out of my head. I couldn’t quite catch my breath, either.