14. Ellie
14
ELLIE
I walked into the pub, happy to see Tammy there already, and I smiled and waved at her quickly as I went to put my purse in the break room before coming back to the bar to work with her. As I rounded the back and came into the bar area, she was staring at me with the biggest smile on her face, and I couldn’t help it if hers was contagious and it made me smile too.
“Looks like somebody had fun last night,” she said as she leaned in closer to me so that no one else could hear us. My smile instantly turned into a shocked face. How did she know that? Did Wade tell her? She laughed and leaned in again.
“Girl, if you don’t want to talk about the details, that’s fine, but it’s written all over your face that you had a good night last night. I’m just happy one of us got lucky.” She winked at me.
I could feel my face flush as embarrassment took over. I stood there speechless for a few moments before her voice startled me back into the present.
“Here,” she said, handing me a fresh draft beer. “ While I swap the first keg, take this to Ted , and you can go ask Jimmy what he wants, though I can already tell you he wants an order of potato skins and Dr . Pepper ,” Tammy informed me.
“How the hell do you remember everyone’s name and order all the time?” I asked her.
“Girl, my superpowers are remembering every one of my customers’ names and leaving laundry in the dryer until it wrinkles. Then turning the dryer on to de-wrinkle, and then forgetting about them all over again,” she said while laughing.
I laughed too because I’d definitely done that a few times.
“Well, mine are dating red flags and picking the slowest line at the grocery store every single time,” I told her, and she burst out laughing.
“We’ll circle back about that first one later, but let me get these kegs changed out first,” she said before she walked into the back.
I knew she was going to ask more about it because that was how Tammy was, but she was also a great listener, and so far, appeared to give great advice, so maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. Maybe I should also plan to pick her brain about Wade . I could really use a female friend to talk to about this. Normally I would call Katie , but she was on vacation with her cousins, and I wanted her to enjoy that time off since she rarely got it, what with going to school and working full time. I’d catch her up when she got back. In the meantime, maybe Tammy could offer some advice.
We hit a slow point in the evening, and Tammy and I were sitting back just drying some of the glasses and putting them where they needed to be. I thought I’d begin to get evening close prep done early. Tammy , however, had different plans for our free time.
“Okay girl, talk,” she said grinning at me.
“Umm, talk about what?” I tried to deflect, but she looked at me like I was stupid and waited for me to respond.
“First let’s talk about what had you grinning like a loon when you walked in here today, and then let’s talk about these red flags you seem to date,” she said with her full attitude on display.
I sighed and gave in, hoping maybe I could get some good advice out of her.
“Wade and I had sex last night, a few times actually, and now I don’t know what to do or how I’m supposed to act around him because we work together and I’m going to see him all the time, and I don’t want it to be weird or awkward, especially if he didn’t really enjoy it, because he lives across from me, and I can’t exactly escape him,” I rambled quickly spilling all of that out at once.
“Take a deep breath, Ellie ,” She chuckled lightly. “ First , I saw that boy today, and he had the same damn grin on his face that you did when you walked in, so I’m guessing he enjoyed it just fine. Second , that boy isn’t dumb, so I doubt he would have taken that step with you knowing it would turn into several levels of awkwardness, especially knowin’ who your brother is, if he was just lookin’ for a quick lay.”
I knew what she was saying made sense, but I didn’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and I told her that.
“Tammy, I’ve only slept with two other guys. The first was my boyfriend in high school who I dated for a year before I let him get that far. The second guy is the big red flag I mentioned, so I don’t exactly have a long history of what to do in this situation, and half of that history was a very bad decision.”
She was quiet for a few moments before speaking.
“Couple quick questions.” She rolled right into it. “ Was the first one a red flag too, or just the second one?”
“Umm, well, the first one broke up with me two days after I gave him my virginity, but other than being a jerk, I’m not sure that makes him a red flag.”
“The red flag the one responsible for the bruises you were wearing when you first got here?” she asked with a bit of sympathy on her face.
Ugh. I couldn’t believe I’d thought my makeup would cover that. Clearly , I’d done a terrible job. I nodded at her.
“He the one that called here the other day?” she asked.
Not really wanting to talk about it in detail, I just nodded to her. She accepted my desire to not talk about it and moved on, but I could see her jaw get tight like she was fighting getting angry on my behalf.
“Right, I’m no fortune teller, so I can’t tell you whether or not you and Wade are gonna make it in the long run, but what I can say is that I’ve known that boy a while, and I know his family raised him well. I say this because if you were ever going to get back into the dating game after dating those two previous assholes, Wade seems like he would be a good choice. He knows you work here, and he knows you live upstairs. More importantly, he knows your brother will probably kill him if he hurts you, regardless of the friendship they have between them. Same probably goes for Vince and Archer . That’s all to say that I don’t think he would jump into this without thinking of those things.”
I exhaled, not realizing I’d been holding my breath while she was talking.
“With that said…” She put her hand on my shoulder. “ You do what you feel comfortable with, hon.”
I gave a little nervous laugh because I knew she was being nice, but also, she was probably right.
* * *
The rest of the shift was relatively easy-going, but by the end of it, I was dead on my feet.
Finally done, I headed back to the break room to grab my phone and purse. I saw Wade in the office as I walked back and popped in to let him know I was just going to grab my bag and we could head upstairs. I’d been thinking about it all night, but now that we were about to head up, I was even more nervous. We hadn’t had the conversation of sleeping arrangements for tonight, and I didn’t know how to bring it up. With my purse in hand, I walked back toward the office and saw Wade standing in the doorway, locking it up for the night.
“Ready?” he asked.
I was still so full of nerves, I couldn’t get any words out. Instead , I simply nodded and started walking to the main room of the pub so we could go out the front door.
He moved his hand to the small of my back and walked closely behind me. I knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but his proximity was making me even more nervous. I felt his hand burning a hole through my clothes at my lower back. We walked past the bar, and Wade stopped us to talk with Tammy .
“Office is locked up for the night, but if you need to change anything to the schedule, just let yourself in,” Wade told her, his hand still stuck to my back, and I knew Tammy saw it.
“You got it, boss-man,” she said with a big grin on her face. “ Alright , kids, you have a good night. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, or maybe you should.” She gave us an exaggerated smirk then cackled a little.
I saw Wade shake his head at her with a small grin, and turn toward me. I could feel my face blushing at Tammy’s comment and didn’t want him to see, so I turned toward the door and started walking to it. I felt the loss of his hand immediately, but he quickly caught up and instead put his arm around my shoulder.
“Slow down, speed demon,” he said to me, and we were about to go through the front door. “ We’ll get upstairs eventually. No need to rush.”
Oh God . He thought I wanted to get upstairs to jump his bones again. This was so embarrassing. I knew I needed to clear the air so he didn’t think I was some kind of slut ready to pounce. I stopped and turned toward him, looking up into his eyes.
“I, uh, wasn’t rushing because I want to…um…get in your…um…pants or anything,” I started to explain. “ I was just hungry and tired, so I just wanted to get upstairs quickly, that’s all.” I said it in a rush, knowing most of it was an exaggeration to try to downplay the situation.
I knew my face was pink and was likely getting worse when I saw the growing grin on his face.
“I wasn’t implying you were, Ellie ,” he said softly with the grin still on his face. “ I just need you to stay by my side as we walk outside, but good to know where your mind is at.” He winked at me then pushed the door open in front of me and nudged me out and toward the other end of the building, where the entrance to the security office and apartment elevators were.
It was a good thing I was now turned away from him and walking in front, because my face could not possibly be any redder than it likely was right now. Ugh . I couldn’t believe I just word vomited all of that to him.
We walked in silence to the elevators, and Wade pushed the button for the third level.
“I want you staying with me tonight,” Wade started to say. “ Let’s pack you a bag then head over to my apartment. I need to shower, but we can order some food and watch a movie, okay?”
That was a lot to take in at once, so I just nodded as we got off the elevator and headed to my apartment.
“Pack clothes for tonight and tomorrow so you don’t have to walk back over to your apartment tomorrow in your nightgown.” The way he said that made it seem like he was angry I’d walked across the hall. I wasn’t sure why, though, because it wasn’t like anyone was there to see me.
He followed me inside while I packed a few things, including my crochet supplies, since I wasn’t sure what his plans were for us.
We walked back over to his apartment, and he took a bunch of delivery menus out of his kitchen drawer. His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he took it out while I glanced at the menus.
“I have to call Archer real quick about something,” he said, then circled a few things on each menu. He told me to pick whatever I want and to just order him one of the items he’d circled, depending on which restaurant I picked. He then headed down the hall, and I just set my bag over on the couch for now since I wasn’t sure where to put it.
I figure if he’d wanted bar food, we would have just gotten it from downstairs, so I opted for Chinese food instead. I placed our order and got out some plates and silverware from his kitchen to busy myself while I waited. He came out ten minutes later and asked what I’d chosen.
“I got us Chinese . It should be here in another ten minutes,” I told him.
“Okay, cool. I’ll go downstairs and get it,” he said, but the look on my face must have shown my confusion. “ They can’t get up here without a key or access code.”
As soon as he said it, I realized this wasn’t just a normal apartment complex, where you could just buzz people up.
He sat on the couch and grabbed the remote, pulling up Netflix . I brought the plates and utensils in with me to set on the coffee table.
After looking through the movies, we picked one we both liked. He got it set up and then went downstairs to get the food. He was only gone for five minutes, but it felt so much longer, as my brain went through every possible scenario of what could happen tonight. Was I sleeping on the couch? The bedroom? Where was he sleeping? Were we going to have sex again? I certainly would like to, but I didn’t know how Wade felt about it.
Wade came back a few moments later with the food, and we relaxed on the couch. His was much bigger than my brother’s, and we could both spread out with plenty of room, though I wasn’t purposely trying to avoid him. I just didn’t know what to do or how to play this.
After dinner, I asked him if I could shower quickly before we finished the movie. I hadn’t planned to, but now realized it would give me a chance to clear my head as well as clean the bar smell off.
I returned to the couch wearing a pair of shorts and a camisole. We settled in to finish the movie, and somewhere along the line, I must have dozed off, because I vaguely awakened to Wade carrying me to a bed. I heard noises behind me and saw the bathroom light go on, but I must have been too exhausted, because moments later I was back to sleep and dead to the world.
* * *
I woke to movement and noises. As my eyes fluttered open, I realized the noises and movements were coming from Wade , who was next to me in the bed. He was mumbling and his body was twitching, and I realized he was having another night terror.
I’d tried to read up on night terrors during my break today, and from what I’d read, it said it was best not to wake them. Just try to calmly get them back into a normal peaceful sleep. Waking them or having physical contact with them, such as restraining their arms or moving them, could often make it worse. I lay there whispering calming words and trying to coax him back to rest, while keeping an eye on his movements in case I needed to adjust my position.
As I watched him move and groan, I couldn’t help but think of my brother and wonder if he had these nightmares as well. Logically I knew he probably did since PTSD was common in soldiers, but it made me sad thinking about it. I hoped he was talking to someone about it. I made a mental note to ask Wade about that later.
At some point, his body relaxed. During the episode, his body had moved so that he was now on his side facing away from me. I took a chance and gently put my hand on his back, running it softly up and down. He didn’t flinch or move, so I keep rubbing it and speaking softly to him. He rolled over onto his back as he slowly looked at me, his eyes half-mast.
“Why’re you awake?” he asked softly, his voice groggy.
I debated whether or not to tell him the truth, but I knew he needed to know, and I wanted him to understand that he hadn’t hurt me.
“You had another night terror,” I explained gently.
His eyes opened fully, and he rolled over to face me as he lifted his hand to my face, then shoulder and arm, as though he was checking me over for marks.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked, his voice strained a bit.
“No,” I told him. “ The internet said I shouldn’t wake you but just talk softly to you and let you fall back into a normal sleep, so that’s what I did. I was just rubbing your back to test if the episode was done. I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“The internet told you?” he asked, looking at me funny.
“Yeah.” I stared at him. “ I wanted to know what I could do if it happened again. There’s a lot of really good information about night terrors online.”
“And I didn’t touch you or hurt you?” he asked, like he was unsure if my process had worked. He seemed convinced that he must have done something bad.
“No,” I said firmly. “ You started moving around and making agitated noises, but I scooted back and just started talking softly to you, and eventually your body calmed and you settled back to sleep.”
He stared at me silently, and I could see the wheels turning in his head. He’d seemed tense since I’d accidentally woken him, but now he seemed to relax a bit.
“Come here,” he murmured, pulling me into his front, and rolling me so that we were in a spooning position.
I didn’t quite know what to make of this, but I let it go for now. A few minutes later, I felt myself dozing back off again, when I heard him whisper into my hair.
“Thank you.”
I didn’t know if he actually meant for me to hear it or not, so I didn’t say anything. I just let myself drift back off to sleep, but this time with a smile on my face.