Chapter 12 #2
Julia sipped her drink after placing her order, her hand reaching for her phone. She tugged it from the pocket but before she could check it, it disappeared from her hands. She snapped her gaze up to find her sister waving it in the air.
“No, Julia. You’re not spending the night on your phone.”
“I was just checking for–”
“He’s not texting. And if he is, he shouldn’t be.”
“I just–”
“No,” Alicia said with a shake of her head. “Julia! I haven’t seen you in close to two years. I’d like to see you, not you looking at your phone wondering if someone who told you to come with us is texting you.”
“I just feel a little bad, that’s all. Sierra booked this entire trip for us to spend time together after everything that’s happened, and I feel like for them, it’s been ruined.”
“I don’t see how,” Alicia said.
“Yeah, I kind of agree,” Ethan answered. “They’re free to do whatever they want. I don’t think they need you to supervise them.”
“But–”
“But what, Juju?” Alicia asked. “You’re only going to be with them for another eight months, right? Who’s going to supervise them after that on their vacations?”
The words stung her. She wondered if the lack of sleep was bringing her closer to tears than what he’d said or if the truth of the statement had hit her like a physical slap. But he was right.
She felt connected to them. Like she belonged, but she didn’t. The realization hit her hard as she bit her lower lip. Her eyes rose to the picture of her and Luke. Why did the men in her life insist on putting up larger-than-life testaments to their relationships?
She stared at her smile for a moment, her mind replacing it with her wedding picture. She looked happy in both. Which one was the real her? Where did she belong?
“I guess,” Julia finally answered.
“There’s no guessing here, Julia. You belong with us,” Alicia said, taking her hand.
Why did she feel such a draw to Grant, then?
She blew out a long breath. Because she had stupidly allowed herself to be drawn into his world and to him.
She reminded herself that there was a reason she was his fifth wife.
He had an easy time drawing women in. She wasn’t the first. And she wouldn’t be the last.
She was surprised he’d made it through their fake marriage this far without finding her replacement. She flicked her eyes back to the photo before her eyes shifted to Luke who crossed toward them.
He smiled at her, and she felt the corners of her mouth tug upward effortlessly. As he slid into the seat next to her, she squeezed her sister’s hand. For this moment, she belonged here. With her family.
She relaxed into the evening, allowing the sweet beverage to soothe her frayed nerves. Conversation flowed effortlessly, filled with memories about their adventures in their younger days, times that wrapped her in a warmth she’d sometimes forgotten. A warmth that she desperately needed and missed.
She threw her head back with laughter as they discussed a failed barbecue on the island she’d loved so much.
“Well, we would have been able to come back if you hadn’t insisted on taking the sailboat,” Alicia said with a laugh as she gave Julia a playful punch in the arm.
“Hey, I really wanted to sail that day! You know I love sailing.” Julia chuckled as she defended herself.
“Yeah? You should definitely sail before you leave, Juju,” Ethan added.
“I’m surprised Sierra didn’t book that.”
“Mmm,” Alicia said as she sipped her beer, “I’m not sure sailing is up her alley. She may break one of those oh-so-long nails.”
Julia shook her head at her sister. “Sierra’s not that bad.”
“Well, she cannot book a sail on the boat you love, so you couldn’t recreate your experience,” Luke said.
Julia heaved a sigh. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s a repeatable experience, but I’ll think about the sailing.”
“You don’t want to sail on Gentle Julia again?” Luke asked.
Julia’s eyebrows furrowed as she studied him, a confused smile crossing her features. “You don’t still have her, do you?”
Luke tilted his head as he cradled his beer. “What do you think?”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head.
Alicia arched an eyebrow as she flicked her gaze between them,
“No!” Julia repeated.
“I’d never get rid of her. She’s the one Julia I definitely get to keep,” Luke said. “She’s out back.”
“Is she still sailable?”
“Of course,” he answered with a chuckle. “I still take her out and remember better times.”
“You should go see her,” Alicia said with an encouraging nod.
“No, it’s fine,” Julia said. “It’s fine. Another time.”
“Go now,” Alicia said. “We’re heading out anyway.”
Julia’s features fell. “Oh, already?”
“I actually have to cover a shift for a few hours,” Ethan said. “So, I’m heading out.”
“Oh, okay. Well, it was a nice evening with everyone.”
Alicia pulled her sister into an embrace, rubbing her back as she whispered, “Go see the boat.”
Her sister’s words didn’t feel like a suggestion, but a gentle push back toward a past she had left at the crossroads of her life.
Julia offered her a faltering smile as she stepped back. Emotions coursed through her, mixing nostalgia with anxiety and tenderness with a sense of loss.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Alicia said. “We’ll talk soon.”
“I can drive you home if–”
“No, Ethan will drop me off. Good night, Julia.” She stepped closer and kissed her sister’s cheek. “Have fun.”
The teasing in her voice and the sparkle in her eye made Julia shake her head. They walked away as Alicia offered her a glance over her shoulder and a smile.
Luke offered her a demure smile. “So, did you want to see her?”
“Ahhh,” she said as she tried to sort through it in her mind. She felt guilty avoiding him. “Sure.”
His smile broadened as he held his hand out. She studied the outstretched fingers, old feelings rushing through her as she reached for his hand.
The warmth of his skin, so familiar and so comforting, took her by surprise. The cool night air rushed past her as they stepped through the back door, bringing another burst of memories of moonlit nights, starry skies, and the gentle rocking of the sailboat underneath them.
A distant seagull’s cry melded with the harbor bell, sounding like an ominous warning of the uncharted waters ahead.
Standing next to the sailboat, a wave of nostalgia washed over her. Each creak of the wood and lap of the water against the hull was a haunting melody of what had been. Her heart ached with a longing she couldn’t name, tethered between her past with Luke and the uncertain future with Grant.
“She’s still in great shape,” Luke said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. “Sails like a dream.”
“I can’t believe you still have her,” Julia said with a smile as she studied the beautiful sailboat bearing her name.
“I’d never sell her, Julia.” A quiet moment, broken only by the harbor bell’s song, stretched between them. “Do you want to go aboard?”
She considered it. She did. And she didn’t. The world spun around her in a dizzying array. Her eyes turned glassy as she twisted to face him. “Luke–”
“Julia,” he said, taking a step closer to her, his hand caressing her cheek as he softened his voice.
“Julia?” another voice questioned.
She snapped her eyes in the direction of the voice, finding Grant, his posture stiff. “Grant!”
His arrival cut through the night like a burst of wind. His face, usually so composed, was etched with an unreadable mix of emotions. His gaze flicked from Julia to Luke, an unspoken storm brewing behind his eyes. “Everything okay here?”
She swiped at a tear that had fallen to her cheek as she nodded. “Yes.” She twisted to face Luke. “I need to go.”
He sucked in a breath to speak, but she didn’t give him the opportunity.
She didn’t feel strong enough to discuss anything with him now.
Instead, she muttered a thanks as she hurried to Grant.
A glance over her shoulder made her heart ache, though.
And she wondered how in the world she’d handle any of this when the time came.