Chapter 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Erin
When I return to the cabin from the train station, the door is open. He’s here. Lucian is here. Sitting by the fire like a lion ready to spring.
I swallow the tightness in my throat, opening the door the rest of the way, and say his name like a prayer. “Lucian...”
He flies from his seat, filling the doorway.
Tall. Towering. Rage in motion.
He looks… feral.
Like he hasn’t slept in days. Eyes dark. Jaw unshaven.
He wears jeans and a rumpled flannel shirt, the color of summer sunsets over the moor. A heavy green coat hangs over the back of a chair. It’s like he’s dressed for the place, for this cabin.
Like he belongs here. With me.
“You followed me.” My voice is barely a whisper.
“You disappeared. No goodbye. Just gone. What the hell did you think I would do?” He pushes me inside, slamming the door behind us.
The room shrinks in his presence. But the fire burns brighter. Warmer.
“I crossed the fucking ocean.” His chest heaves. “Now tell me why.”
“I couldn’t face you. And I had to come alone.”
He grabs the sides of his head like he might explode. “Couldn’t face me?” he hisses. “Come alone? Do you have any idea how much I’ve worried? How dangerous this is for you?”
I stand there, shook—still trying to believe he’s really here.
His eyes lock on mine. “This,” he waves his hand around the cabin, “Coming out here on your own, it’s a death wish.”
His harsh words cut like a knife. He scowls at my naivety. I try to explain.
“Lucian—”
“No.” He steps forward, one hand raised out to me. “You don’t get to say my name like that. Like I didn’t burn to ashes from the moment I woke up alone until you walked through that damn door.”
He turns, stomping toward the kitchen.
I stay where I stand, shoving my hands in the sleeves of my coat.
He’s pulling pans out of cupboards and slamming them on the stove. I watch him, shoulders hunched over the counter, the soft flickering light from the candles casting shadows that make the angles of his handsome face look even more desperate and dangerous.
My throat tightens. “I had to do this alone.”
He stills in his anger, long enough to lock eyes. “Bullshit.”
“I had to—”
He crowds me then, rushing to me, pressing my back against the door. His palms press to the wood on either side of my head.
“You left me, Erin.” His breath is ragged. “My sheets still wet from the last time I was inside you. Every bit of my world still smelled like you.”
My knees threaten to give out. “I didn’t know—”
He leans in closer. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”
He holds me there, pinned under the weight of his words, his fury, his worry.
“I couldn’t face you,” I whisper.
His body stiffens.
“I didn’t want to tell you the truth,” I manage. “Didn’t want to hurt you. Not after you’ve already been hurt.”
By Carlos…
I think of his scars. The pain he must have felt, surrounded by dead men who had trusted him, gone into battle with him. And in a split second, his entire world was turned upside down, then destroyed.
His words are so clear and full of pain in my memory.
Betrayed. I’ve been betrayed.
He makes me meet his eye. “And the truth is?”
“I don’t deserve your help.”
“Why not?” he asks.
“Because—”
But I can see in his eyes that he already knows. Someone has told him. Or he’s figured it out on his own.
His dark eyes flash with impatience. “Babygirl. Speak.” My time is up.
I expect him to cross his arms. To stare down at me with disdain. Instead, his warm hands press into my lower back as he drags me to him. Our bellies press together, and I let myself rest my cheek on his chest.
Even though I don’t deserve it.
Because I’m a big fat liar. Liar by omission, but a liar all the same.
And a runaway. Because I was too scared to face him.
He strokes the back of my head, smoothing his hand down my hair. His gentle touch sends those delicious, heavenly tingles through the back of my body.
Finally, finally, I’m forced to say the words that have hung so heavy around my neck since the night we met. I don’t allow myself the satisfaction of a deep breath; instead, I push the words forward like an exhale.
“I was sent to betray you. That first night. Something you had in exchange for something they needed.”
“You were meant to steal it—”
“And you gave it freely—”
“The key to what was left of our world. What they didn’t burn to the ground. The few places they didn’t destroy.”
“So, they could finish the job,” I admit, tears in my eyes. I cling to his shirt. “But I couldn’t let them. Not once I met you.”
“Took you long enough to decide,” he says, bitterness in his voice. “You avoided my calls. I missed you every minute, Erin.”
“I missed you, too. And I wasn’t deciding.” My voice breaks. “I knew I wasn’t going to give it to them.”
“Good.” He holds my gaze.
“I was trying to come up with a plan to get us all out safely. And I couldn’t. So I came to tell you…but then...”
My words drop off.
Finally, I find the truth. “I was scared.” I want to tell him about his dream, his murmured words, but those belong to him. Instead, I say, “I didn’t tell you. And I should have told you. Everything. Way sooner. And I’m sorry I didn’t.”
He scoops my chin in his hand, forcing my gaze upward. “And this was your plan? To come here alone and do…what exactly?”
The foolishness of my actions suddenly hit me, making me cringe. “Honestly?”
“Yes. Some honesty would be good right now.”
“I have some information that could get him arrested. And I’m currently gathering more,” I say, quickly adding, “And I have a knife. From the kitchen drawer here.”
Along with a second weapon, which is hidden in my fridge. But he doesn’t need to know about that yet.
I’m in enough trouble as it is.
His eyes close for a beat. When they open again, they’re blazing, vengeance heating his words. “You really think I’d let you face him alone?”
“I didn’t give you a choice.”
“I always have a choice,” he growls. “And I choose you. No matter how we met.”
There’s silence between us.
Thick. Tense. Almost reverent. Like a quiet church before the hymn.
Then—
He slams his mouth to mine.
And I break.
He presses me against the wall, tongue plunging into my mouth, hands fisting in my coat like he might rip it apart to feel my skin again.
I claw at his chest, drag him closer, grind against what’s already hard for me.
He lifts me without effort.
Carries me to the table.
Sweeps my breakfast, a cloud of dust, to the floor. Lays me out like a sacrifice. And all I want is for him to make all this go away.
Like only he can.
“Fuck me. Right now. Right here,” I beg.
“You think I came all this way just to fuck you?” he growls, yanking open my coat, dark eyes flashing with unhinged obsession. “I came to remind you who the fuck you belong to. You can never leave like that again.”
His mouth is at my neck, teeth scraping skin, then lips sucking, kissing, leaving what’s sure to be a purple crescent moon for the world to see tomorrow.
“I don’t want you to be caught up in this,” I moan.
He stills.
“But I want you here with me.” I clarify, “I want you here. I want to face this together.”
His eyes darken. “Even if I never let you go again?”
“Yes.” I nod again.
He unzips my jeans with a snarl and shoves them down. His fingers slide beneath my panties. I’m already soaking wet for him, and he knows it.
“Fuck, Erin,” he groans, head dropping as if in defeat. “You were made for me.”
I close my eyes and let the fire consume me.