Chapter 19 #2
She tightens her hold around me. “I know you’ll tell me everything when you’re ready. But I just want you to know that I’m here whenever that day comes. Okay?”
I nod. “Thank you, Scarlett. For everything.”
She pulls back to look at me with a smile on her face. “Go get him, Maddy.”
As I walk up the snow-covered cobblestone steps, I smooth out my jacket, wishing I had a chance to change before the flight or even pack a bag, for that matter. But for now, what I’m wearing will have to do.
I raise my hand to the giant black door, ready to knock, but freeze when I catch sight of my engagement ring gleaming in the light.
Shit. I twist it off and shove it into my pocket, ensuring it remains out of sight. I raise my hand again but hesitate when I hear laughter coming from the other side of the door.
What am I doing?
What if he doesn’t want me here?
What if his gift means more to me than it does to him?
What if—
Suddenly, the door opens, revealing a young girl—maybe seven or eight years old. I’ve never been very good at guessing ages.
“Who are you?” she asks, tilting her head to the side. Her long brown hair sways over the shoulder of her red sweater. “I saw you walking up the driveway.”
“Oh, well, I’m a…friend of—”
“Angel, what are you doing?” Eli’s deep voice carries from behind the door.
Angel?
“We’re about to start opening—” Eli appears behind the girl, his eyes darting to me and widening in surprise. “Madeleine?” He steps around her, standing directly in front of me with concern carved on his face. “Is everything okay?”
“I…umm.” I pull on the collar of my jacket, suddenly feeling too hot. “I needed to see you.”
His eyes soften, and he looks at the young girl over his shoulder. “Angel, can you give us a minute?”
She crosses her arms over her chest defiantly.
Eli leans down and whispers, “Inside one of the boxes is your very own ice cream machine, but you didn’t hear that from me.”
“Really?” she squeals before turning and dashing down a hallway.
Eli steps outside, closing the door behind him. He shoves his hands in his pockets. “That’s my cousin, Ava. More like a little sister, though.”
“A girl after my own heart,” I remark with a smile, relief washing over me. I guess this solves the mystery of who Angel is.
He shuffles his foot, kicking a rock to the side.
“She moved in with my parents a few years ago after my aunt and uncle died in a car accident. And ever since my kidnapping last year, she’s been worried about me when she doesn’t hear from me, so we try to have daily calls, even if it’s only for five minutes, so that she can hear my voice. ”
I bite my bottom lip. “Well, now I feel bad for stealing you away from her.”
He laughs. “Don’t worry. She doesn’t know it yet, but my gift to her is a trip to Disney, so I’m sure I’ll be forgiven after that.”
I grin. “That will definitely put you back in her good graces.”
He glances to the side before looking back at me. “So, are you going to tell me why you came here? Or were you just in the neighborhood?”
I reach inside my pocket and pull out the necklace, letting it dangle between us. “Why did you give me this?”
“I would think it would be obvious,” he answers.
“Not to me.” Silence hangs between us, my breaths escaping in puffs of smoke as the cold nips at my skin. “Why, Eli?”
He takes a step, eliminating the distance between us. I look down, suddenly too nervous to be this close to him.
He gently hooks two fingers under my chin, tilting my head up until our eyes meet. I’m lost in his orbit, surrendering to his dark gaze as he leans in, barely brushing his lips against mine.
“Because I wanted you to know that you were with me every day I was gone, whether you knew it or not. In my heart. In my mind. In my goddamn soul. And, love, I’m tired of pretending otherwise.”
My eyes water, with tears threatening to spill over.
I place my palms on his chest, feeling his heart racing beneath my touch.
“This doesn’t change anything,” I whisper, defeat echoing in my words.
“It can’t. I don’t want to give you false hope by being here, which I probably am, and I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry.” He swallows hard, his big brown eyes locked onto mine.
“But while I’m here, and only while I’m here, I want to pretend the wedding isn’t happening.
I want to be yours. I just…I don’t want to fight this anymore,” I admit softly. “I’m so tired of fighting it.”
His lips crash down on mine as my fingers dig into his navy button-down shirt. His tongue slides between my lips, waiting for me to open, and I do, eagerly tasting him.
His hand cups my cheek while the other snakes around my waist, pulling me against him.
He’s the only one who has truly seen every part of me—the good and the bad.
And as much as I should stop this, knowing it will only give me a taste of a life I can never have with him, I can’t. Because my heart has only ever beaten for one man in my life. And for the next few days only, I want to pretend that I can have him for the rest of my life.
“Eww. Aunt Audrey! Eli’s kissing a girl!”
Eli and I quickly separate, both of us panting heavily as we turn to see Ava standing in the now-open doorway, her face twisted in disgust.
“Bloody hell, Ava.” Eli’s lips curve into a smirk, a small laugh escaping between his teeth.
“You need to put a pound in the swear jar,” she tells him.
A woman with shoulder-length brown hair appears in the doorway behind Ava, wearing a warm smile. “What’s all the commotion? It’s Christmas—Oh.” Her eyes flit between me and Eli. “Excuse me. I didn’t know Eli had company.”
“Mom.” Eli clears his throat, brushing back his hair before looking at me. A soft shade of pink creeps up his neck, and I have to bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. “This is Madeleine Alarie.”
I extend my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Lyon.”
She takes my hand in hers, her smile widening. “It’s lovely to meet you. Please, call me Audrey.”
I smile back, suddenly feeling self-conscious. It’s a sensation I’m not used to, but this is Eli’s mom—a woman whose approval actually matters to me.
“Well, we’ll give you two some privacy,” she says. “But please come in and join us when you’re ready. We have plenty of food.”
“Oh.” I look at Eli and then back at his mom. “I don’t want to impose. I was just stopping by—”
“Stopping by from New York?” Eli quips.
I tuck my hair behind my ear. “Well, when you put it like that…”
“I insist,” Audrey says, taking Ava by the shoulders and directing her into the house.
“You’re just going to let them stand out there and kiss?” Ava asks incredulously before the door shuts behind her.
We both laugh, and I can’t help but look up at the sky, snowflakes floating around us.
For the first time in a while, I feel weightless.
Eli’s arms wrap around me, and I look into his eyes.
“Happy Christmas, Madeleine.”
“Happy Christmas, Eli.”
“You must be exhausted,” he notes with worry. “Want to rest first?”
I shake my head. “I’m good. I slept a little on the flight over.”
He sighs. “I hope you know what you’re in for. My dad was a general for most of his life and is going to interrogate the hell out of you, wanting to know everything about you.”
I chuckle. “Bring it on.”
He takes my hand and suddenly glances down, noticing the absence of a ring.
He doesn’t say anything.
He doesn’t remark on its whereabouts.
Instead, he merely intertwines our fingers, presses a kiss to my temple, and then leads me into his home.