Chapter 27
Chapter twenty-seven
Madeleine
“I…lost…it.”
My knees give out as I slowly fall to the ground, but before my legs touch the carpet, Eli’s strong arms wrap around my waist, hauling me against his chest as he sits on the floor, leaning against the wall for support.
Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as they stream down my cheeks like raging rivers.
An agonizing sob escapes my lips as every ounce of pain pierces my chest. It feels as if all the days I should have spent grieving the loss of my baby are crashing over me at once, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough to survive it.
It hurts too much.
Eli’s hold on me tightens as if he’s scared I might get up and run out of his reach. But I won’t. Not this time.
I cram my face into the crook of his neck, my tears soaking his shirt. I grip the fabric with shaking fingers, tethering him to me. His hands glide smoothly up and down my back, and I think it’s his way of trying to calm himself as much as me.
It could be days, hours, or merely minutes that we sit like this, wrapped tightly around one another, but after I finally feel oxygen filling my lungs, I part my lips.
“All this time,” I breathe against his chest. “I thought…you knew. I thought…” I look up at him, guilt slamming into me.
His eyes are brimming with unshed tears he’s holding back.
He’s trying to stay strong for me when he doesn’t have to.
“I’m so sorry.” My hand reaches up, cupping his face.
“I was cruel to you. And you’ve let me be with no consequences.
You were my punching bag for months, and I’m so fucking sorry. ”
“You have not one damn thing to be sorry for.” His lips press against my temple, lingering before gliding across my skin.
“You thought… You thought I told you to abort our baby. As if I were a monster, giving you no option in the matter. You thought I was abandoning you because of this when, instead, I would have stepped up to the plate and been there for you in whatever way you needed me to be.” He rolls our foreheads together. “I would hate me too if I were you.”
“I should have known it wasn’t you.” I look down at my fingers curling into his shirt. “You would never have said those words to me. That’s not who you are. But I was alone. I was so confused and hurt. I didn’t know what to do. I’m so ashamed of myself.” I shake my head, nausea invading my stomach.
So much time has been lost.
So much pain has been felt.
So much anger directed at a man who didn’t deserve an ounce of it.
“I’m sorry you went through all of this alone.” His hand slides around my neck, his thumb tracing back and forth. “But I’m here now, and you won’t have to go through anything alone ever again.”
I relax a fraction in his hold, wishing he was right.
He reaches behind me and brings the letter between us, staring at the words with so much vehemence.
“It’s a perfect replica of my handwriting,” he remarks.
“I know,” I whisper.
“But I don’t understand,” he continues, running his hand around to the back of my head. “What does this have to do with you marrying Alastor? Did he know you were pregnant and try to blackmail you with it?”
“He didn’t know,” I whisper. “He had no idea.”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m positive. There’s no way he could have known.”
“But then, who did?” Eli asks, searching my gaze.
“I don’t know.” I release a deep exhale. “Besides my gynecologist, I never had a chance to tell anyone. Not a soul. I only put it on paper in my letter to you…” I freeze.
“What is it?” he asks.
“If you didn’t get my letter, then someone else did. Someone who…most likely, sent the response letter to me. That letter was the only way anyone would have known I was pregnant.”
I look at the letter lying on the floor.
The one that has haunted me for a year.
“I’ll find out who did this. I promise you, I won’t let them get away with it.” His arms lock around me. “But I need you to do something for me, Madeleine.”
“Anything.”
“Tell me what Alastor is holding over you. If it’s not this, then tell me why you would’ve agreed to marry him. Tell me everything, love.”
I pinch my eyes closed, my breath coming out choppy. “I can’t. Please don’t make me.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll help you out of it. I’ll take care of the problem. But I can’t if you don’t tell me what is going on.”
“But that’s just it… If I tell you, you’ll try to do something about it. You’ll try to stop the wedding. You’ll try to save me, but you can’t. Not this time, Eli.”
He lowers his face to mine. “I will always save you, and there’s nothing you will ever be able to do to stop me from putting an end to this wedding because I love you, Madeleine.
So goddamn much. And it will be a cold day in hell before I ever let you marry that man.
You are mine. And I am yours. That’s how it’s always been.
And I won’t let this monster interfere with our destiny. ”
I roll in my bottom trembling lip, shaking my head. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do.” He glides his lips over mine. Gently. Slowly. Softly. He pulls away, pressing his temple to mine. “Tell me everything from the beginning. Tell me your secret, Princess, and I’ll guard it with my life. I’ll save you from the villain in this story.”
With a pleading look in his eyes that draws me into his orbit, I reluctantly give in.
I don’t stop to consider the consequences of my words.
I don’t give myself a moment to back down.
I just breathe and tell him my secret.
LAST NEW YEAR’S DAY
It’s New Year’s Day. A day meant for celebrating with loved ones or simply to start fresh. To start working on those damn resolutions everyone feels it’s necessary to make.
But I don’t feel much like celebrating.
It’s been just over a week since I received my last letter from Eli, the one I’m currently rereading for the hundredth time. The four words repeat in my head over and over again as if on an endless loop, causing my heart to splinter with each repetition.
“Get rid of it.”
Eli wants me to get rid of our baby.
My hand instinctively glides across my abdomen in a protective gesture.
When I wrote him to tell him that I was pregnant, I never expected this response. It’s not like I purposely planned for my birth control to fail the ultimate test. I certainly didn’t expect a letter from the man I love urging me to “get rid of it” with no further explanation.
It’s not even like I can pick up a phone and scream at him for this heartache because he’s in the middle of God knows where!
Sighing, I roll onto my side, tucking the letter beneath my pillow.
At this point, I’m almost ten weeks pregnant, and I need to talk to someone.
After getting ready for the day, I make my way to my mom’s house and let myself in. Everyone was here last night for the festivities. But not me.
“Mom, are you here?” I walk through the living room and head to the kitchen but am met with silence. I know she’s an early riser, so there’s no way she’s still sleeping. A dull chatter coming from her office catches my attention, and I immediately head that way.
I knock on the door, opening it simultaneously. “Hey, Mom, can I talk—”
I’m caught off guard to find my four brothers standing around, looking a little disheveled. Their gazes meet mine, and instantly, I feel it.
Something’s wrong.
Stepping inside and looking around at everyone, I ask, “What’s going on?” Alex is speaking on the phone in the corner of the room while the other four members of my family stand gathered around the desk.
My mother steps out from behind the desk and forces a smile—one that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Dear, I wasn’t expecting you. Is everything okay?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you guys should tell me.”
Leo, Alex, and Mauro all look at Vin, uncertainty clouding their expressions.
And if they’re looking at the head of the family that way, then it’s even worse than I thought.
Alex covers the speaker of his phone with his fingers. “You might as well tell her. She’ll find out soon enough. It’s all over the news. My team can’t make this disappear. It’s too late.”
“Tell me what?” Silence. “Someone better start telling me what the hell is going on.” Anxiety sweeps over me as I begin to lose my patience.
“Sit down, Madeleine,” Vin orders, leaning against the desk.
I shake my head. “No.” I cross my arms over my chest, bracing myself for whatever is coming my way.
His shoulders sag, and he taps his index finger on the smooth surface of the desk before suddenly stilling. “Eli’s missing.”
My world stops spinning.
My heart stops beating.
And the silence surrounding me becomes almost deafening.
I swallow hard. “What do you mean, missing? You mean to tell me the military just lost him?”
Vin shakes his head, looking down. “He was a part of a recon operation in Iraq that went sour. We don’t have all of the details at the moment, but we do know the men in his unit…
were killed, and Eli is now missing. It’s assumed that the rebel group in the area took him and plans on using him as a hostage to obtain what they’re looking for, but there has been no confirmation yet.
No groups have taken responsibility for this. ”
“What do they want?” I ask, my throat tightening.
“We don’t know. There haven’t been any demands made yet, which is…unsettling.”
I glance around the room. “Well, what are we doing? You can make a call, right? There must be someone you can contact to get him out of there and bring him home.”
Mauro comes up to my side, placing a hand on my shoulder. When I look up into his eyes, I know I’m not about to hear the answer I want.
Leo approaches my other side. “It’s not that simple, Mad—”
“What do you mean, it’s not that simple? We are the Alaries.” My eyes dart back to Vin, pleading with him. “Make the call, Vin.”
“We don’t have any connections in Iraq,” he answers. “This is a level even we can’t interfere with for fear of making the situation worse.”
“Make the call!” I scream, barely recognizing my voice.
The room goes silent.