Chapter 26 Athena
ATHENA
Dimitri hasn't said a word since we pulled away from the house.
I know he's thinking about the phone, the evidence, the moment he'll have to face his brothers with me at his side.
I roll down the window, letting the salty ocean breeze hit my face. Anything to distract from the nerves.
"We should be in Kalamata in two hours," he says, breaking the silence that's been hanging between us since we left Piraeus. "If we don't hit traffic."
I nod, unsure what to say. We're heading toward his brothers with evidence that could finally end everything, and yet all I can think about is how quickly this strange connection between us could end once justice is served.
Will it end? I know he mentioned that vacation, but is he serious?
I look at Dimitri's profile, the hard line of his jaw, the focus in his eyes. Everything my mother taught me about men evaporated once I met him.
"What are you thinking about?" he asks, eyes still on the road.
The question catches me off guard. "I—" My voice stalls. "Nothing important."
His jaw tightens. "I thought we weren't lying to each other anymore."
He's right.
"I was thinking about my mother," I say finally. "About how she taught me to move through the world."
His eyes flick to me for just a second before returning to the road. "Tell me."
The words won't come out at first, embarrassment making my cheeks flush. But something about being in this car with him, heading toward whatever awaits us, makes me reckless with truth.
"Since boys first became interested in me, I've used my mom's words to manipulate them." I pause and laugh. "Wow, I've never said that out loud before."
Dimitri doesn't look at me, but I see the way his knuckles flex on the wheel. He's listening.
"On the night before my first modeling shoot, something I didn't really want to do, she came into my room and sat on the edge of my bed.
" I close my eyes, remembering the way she smelled of expensive perfume and wine.
"She said, 'God blessed you to be tall, big boobs, and a tiny waist. You'll let all women down if you don't use that to your advantage. '"
Dimitri's expression doesn't change.
"I didn't know what she meant then," I say. "But I learned. I learned how to smile without meaning it. How to let my hand linger too long on a man's arm. How to look at him like he was the only thing I'd ever wanted. How to pretend I was soft when all I felt was hollow."
My throat tightens, but I force myself to keep going.
"It was all strategic. It worked so well that I never questioned it. I could get what I wanted. Make people do things they swore they never would."
I look down at my hands, my thumbs twirling around one another, something I used to do when I was nervous, but haven't in years.
"But it didn't work on you."
Being Dimitri, I expect him to gloat. To smile. But when I glance over, he's just watching the road, his face serious.
I stare forward, now dreading every curve that brings us closer to Kalamata, to his brothers.
"Well, it kind of did," he finally says, his voice lower than before. "At the wedding, you had me."
I blink. "What?"
"Standing there in that red dress. You knew exactly what you were doing."
I laugh. "I thought so. But it wasn't enough to help when I thought I needed it."
"I was always taught love wasn't in it for me, just lust. Protect and make sure my family prevails. Never be weak." He shakes his head slightly. "But with you? Shit, I don't know. Protecting you almost feels the same as protecting my family. That's gotta mean something. But I don't know what yet."
I feel tingles all over my body from his words. I feel giddy, nervous, and excited all at the same time.
Before I can talk myself out of it, I reach over and grab his hand where it rests on the gear shift. His skin is warm, his fingers calloused.
Dimitri looks down at our joined hands, his expression unreadable. I pull away quickly, embarrassed by my impulsiveness.
"Sorry," I say quickly. "I know there's a chance we may be done after all this, but at least I can have this moment now. Feel like I have some control in the chaos of my life."
Suddenly, I feel Dimitri's hand reaching for mine. His fingers intertwine with mine, grip firm but gentle.
"I'd never force you to leave after all this," he says, his voice rough. “And in fact, if you even think about leaving, I'll make it my new mission to find you. Don't for a minute think you're getting away so easily and then acting like it was me who didn't want you."
My heart stutters in my chest. I turn to look out the window, not wanting Dimitri to see my face, the stupid, hopeful smile I can't suppress. The coast blurs by, and for the first time in years, I allow myself to imagine a future that doesn't end with me alone.
An hour later, we pull over at a gas station on the edge of a village I don't know the name of. The building is painted white, with a red tin roof and a single fuel pump that looks like it belongs in another century.
Dimitri kills the engine. For a second, neither of us moves.
Then he looks at me, his expression unreadable. "I'm going to grab water. You want anything?"
I shake my head no.
When the door slams shut behind him, the silence in the car is almost too much.
I lean back in my seat, pressing my palms over my eyes.
I don't know what I expected this would feel like, coming to the end of the story my mother left behind, but I didn't think it would feel like this. Like I'm both closer to her and further away than I've ever been.
I drop my hands and stare at the dashboard.
This is what it means to survive, I think. To hold your shape even when you're broken in places no one can see.
The driver's door opens again, and Dimitri gets in, setting two bottles of water in the cupholders.
He doesn't say anything. He just starts the engine and pulls away.
We drive in silence for a few miles before I find my voice again.
"I always thought if I ever told someone the truth, it would make me feel lighter," I say. "But it doesn't. It just feels sad."
He doesn't look at me, but his voice is steady when he answers. "That's because telling the truth sometimes doesn't fix anything. It just shows you what was broken in the first place."
I turn my face to the window again. "Well, that's bleak."
"That's life, baby."
Some more time passes in silence before he breaks it.
"When we get there, let me do the talking," he says.
"I wasn't planning on grabbing the phone and running," I say sarcastically.
He exhales a laugh.
"You'd never get past the front gate," he says.
"Well, as long as you trust me to be there."
His hand shifts on the wheel. "I do."
"Then I can't wait to meet your brothers."
I lie.
I'm fucking terrified of what they might do, because if this goes wrong, no one will be able to save me, not even him.