Chapter 13 #3
“Now, why would you say that?” I opened the lid again simply because I felt more like myself than I had in a long time. Around him. A man with a gun.
“You’re that angel. Remember?”
“And I told you I wasn’t. I won’t tell you about the time I almost burned my parents’ house down.” I was thoroughly shocked at my admittance. Right here in the neighborhood. But I wasn’t interested in sharing that bit of news.
“You did not.” He was genuinely shocked.
As I nodded, we both laughed. Easily. Without reservation while staring at each other in the eyes. I forced the spell to be broken. “It was the first and last time my father allowed me to have friends over. We decided it would be perfectly cool to smoke pot in my room.”
When he didn’t say anything, I lifted my head, my eyes half closed. His expression was priceless. “Wait,” he finally said. “You smoked pot?”
“I told you I wasn’t a good girl. The one thing I don’t do is lie. We were teenagers and my friends decided to get me high so I’d tell a boy in school that I was crushing on him. I remember talking on the phone and sending him pictures. A very naughty girl.”
“Pictures?” Seeing the instant jealousy on his face shocked the hell out of me.
“Not dirty pictures. I did have some decency. But pictures nonetheless and you know how kids are. Very embarrassing but not nearly as much as when my bedspread caught on fire.”
“I assume the house survived?”
“Yes, but my mother’s garden didn’t.”
“Did your father beat you as my mother did with me?” He was teasing me, laughing as he asked the question, his expression drifting into darkness seconds later.
“My father saved the physical attacks for people outside the family. But his punishment was harsh enough.” I’d forgotten all about what had happened, maybe because it had been so… horrible. Horrible. I bit my lower lip, fighting the same emotions I’d had years before.
Kirill leaned further over the piano, brushing the tip of a single finger down my cheek. “What did your father do, take away privileges? No driver’s license until you were eighteen? No prom date?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Sure it does. Talk to me.” He was going to keep pushing.
“Do you really want to know?” I stared into his eyes, uncertain what I was searching for. Maybe a hint that he was the decent man I’d thought him to be. Not a carbon copy of my father or uncle.
“Yes, I do.”
I jerked up from the seat and why in the world I told him the truth when I’d never said a word to anyone else, I honestly didn’t know. Kirill didn’t push, allowing me to take the time needed.
“My father had one of his men chase the boy I liked, hunting him like a dog because his father wasn’t a decent human being according to my dad.
Then when he was caught, one of the men broke his arm in two places.
Snapped it clean. That boy I cared about had just been awarded a scholarship to play baseball in college. His career was finished.”
“Because of a little fire?” To see his shocked expression almost made me laugh. Hadn’t he done much worse things in his life? I would bet on it.
“No. My father had all the money in the world. My mother redecorated all the time. All because my father thought the boy had touched me. I was to be a sweet little virgin until my father deemed it acceptable for a man to touch me.”
Oh, my God. Secrets revealed to a man who would turn them into a weapon.
Yet even worse than providing ammunition about myself and my family, I’d slipped the key into a lock that I’d purposely buried long before.
To mourn. To keep my sanity. To… keeping memories of the dead cherished.
I turned away, walking toward the set of windows.
There was no escaping the ugliness. Had I done so without forethought?
Or was there something more sinister about my slip of the tongue?
Kirill remained silent but I could see his reflection in the glass. And I could sense his fury.
The only sound was my thudding heart matching his heavy breathing. I’d just told on myself more than admitting that I was a tortured princess who’d been caged in her own castle.
In breaking free, I’d smashed all the laws of my world. And somewhere in the back of my mind, I’d always known there’d be a heavy price to pay for my tethered freedom.
I simply didn’t know how much ransom I’d need to pay.
Or that it would come from an alternate source.
“You know the worst part?” I whispered. “I was forced to watch. That’s why I became a healer. That’s why I did everything in my power to escape my father’s hold on me. I almost succeeded. Almost.”
A laugh bubbled to the surface from the sickening feeling pooling in my stomach. Then again, perhaps the dramatic side to me, the one that had created fabulous stories as a child to compensate for my lack of companionship had created a suspenseful situation that had nothing to do with my life.
After all, there was no way Kirill could have known I’d be on the flight so that ruled out his interference. And I doubted given the last-minute upgrade there’d been any time to try to hunt down the passenger log. Nowadays, did the airlines even provide that kind of secure information?
Kirill’s footsteps echoed in my mind as he walked closer.
I don’t know what I was expecting from him.
Would he latch onto the failure of my tongue, grilling me for hours?
I was angry. Furious. The sudden sweep of dark emotions was rare, a dark side of me that I’d usually managed to control, over the years getting very good at hiding my true self and my feelings.
Especially around my family and anyone daring to ask more than basic questions.
“What now?” As always, I’d managed to control the level of my voice, but the anger was building.
He said nothing, studying me as he’d done so many times and it was amazing to me just how much information a person could obtain by doing nothing more than honing their observation skills. The silence wasn’t golden nor was it comforting.
“Are you going to interrogate me for all the juicy information you need? Are you one of those criminal masterminds who shackle someone you believe betrayed your master to a chair or perhaps a cold metal table? Are you planning on torturing me if I don’t provide you with all the gory details about my life prior to escaping the invisible shackles? ”
The only sound was his deep sigh. So in my frustration that had been building for years, not hours or days, I continued blasting him with the level of hatred that shouldn’t be let loose on anyone.
“I can only imagine the horrible things you’ve done to innocent people in your quest for information.
Well, guess what? I’ll save you the trouble by telling you that my parents don’t give a shit about me.
Okay? They wrote me off years ago so there is nothing for you to gain.
” I folded my arms, holding them tightly against my chest from the icy chill coursing through me.
And still, he remained silent. Was he mocking me? Was he mulling over terrible things he’d do?
“You’re just going to spring it on me. Whatever horror you’re used to doling out. Honestly? That’s fine. I’m tired. Tired of fighting with my family. Tired of fighting for freedom.” A laugh bubbled to the surface with such ferocity I was shocked. Even snorting from how hard I was laughing.
The brooding Russian wasn’t amused.
Which made me laugh even harder. When I finally managed to breathe, I lost every scrap of my sense of humor. “So tell me, Kirill. What are your plans? What now? Just tell me because I don’t know how much fight I have left in me. I really don’t. My father helped see to that.”
There was no sound, no movement for a full ten seconds which I counted in my mind as I would with the second hand of an old grandfather clock.
All he needed was a single step in my direction, crowding my space for me to feel lightheaded. But when he placed his hand on my shoulder, his thumb running aimlessly across the material of my shirt, the move was so unexpected I couldn’t breathe.
When he spoke, I became further embroiled in an embattled spell.
“There is no excuse for a father to hurt his child under any circumstances in the manner in which he chose. None. That makes him less of a man and more of a monster. And yes, Vivian, I am cut from the same cloth, a man with no conscience, but I will tell you this. No, I will promise you that no one will hurt you as long as you’re with me.
No one. Including myself. As far as the answer to your question of what now.
Now, we find something to eat because I am starving. ”