Chapter 30
KILLIAN
Of all the things I was expecting during our Recourse visit, this wasn’t it. I had to practically fight the guards to push into the room where Clara was on top of Logan.
When I saw the blood on him, I thought I might have to end her right then. Lucky for her, it was clear by the lack of injuries on him and the unconscious, bloodied man on the floor that it wasn’t Logan who’d been harmed.
While Clara was hauled off to be sedated, a guard escorted us into a patient room in the hospital, where we’re to wait until the guards get Clara settled.
Logan sits on the patient table, his face unusually pale, his breathing shallow.
“I knew this was a terrible idea,” I mutter. Since I pulled him from the visiting area, he’s been in a fog, but this seems to catch his attention.
“What else did you know?” he asks, and it sounds like an accusation.
“What?”
He doesn’t appear appreciative of my efforts to protect him. He looks furious as he hops down from the table and rushes me, gripping my collar and shoving me back against the door.
“Logan…it’s me,” I say, certain this must be a breakdown from his encounter. Nothing’s changed between us since he went into that room with his mother.
“Did you know about our dads?”
Our dads?
“Know what?” I press.
He studies my expression before taking another breath. Searching around the room, he eases his grip on my collar. “She could have made it all up.”
“Made what up?” Given the mention of our fathers and his erratic behavior, I’m seriously concerned.
His gaze cuts back to me before wavering. “I don’t know if I should even say.”
“That’s not gonna work for me now that you’ve already introduced it.”
“Mom’s a liar. She could have just been using that to distract the guards, but…it also makes so much sense.”
All this evasiveness isn’t doing any favors to the knot in my gut. “Please stop talking around it.”
“She says they were having an affair. That they were lovers and that’s why she lost her mind. And that this arranged marriage is some fucked-up way for them to still be together.”
When I first discovered my responsibility to Logan, I obviously questioned why Old Terror would have wanted this for me. I had plenty of theories, but this wasn’t one of them.
“Did you know anything about this?” he presses.
“No. I promise I would have told you.”
He studies me, trying to read the truth in my expression.
“I told you I wanted to train you like an animal, Logan. Do you really think I wouldn’t be honest with you about this?”
His jaw relaxes. It must be really bad if that set him at ease rather than setting him off even more. “Do you think it’s true?”
Could it be? Our fathers were close friends, spent plenty of time together. But given the timing when his mom went away, if that was true, that would mean he cheated on my mother too. That Old Terror betrayed our family.
“I’ve barely had a minute to process this,” I remind him, “but…common sense seems to suggest they might’ve been better friends than we thought.”
“Fuck,” he says, releasing me. He spins around, running his hands through his hair. “Of course they were lovers. He was betraying Mom all that time…and then surely after she wound up in here. Probably didn’t even play poker on Friday nights. How fucking stupid I’ve been.”
“Logan,” I say, approaching him. “We couldn’t have known. They did a good job keeping it a secret if it’s true.”
He runs his hand through his hair yet again, grunting.
“Don’t you get it? If what she said is true, then my dad wasn’t this honorable man doing what was right for the family.
He didn’t set aside his pleasure and satisfaction to keep us secure.
He did whatever he goddamn wanted, and now I’m expected to be some kind of saint. ”
He’s not wrong. Not about his dad, nor about mine. They came across as these honorable fathers, at least for the life we live. But if they were having an affair, then neither was the man they presented to the world. Even worse, to us, their own blood.
Logan’s gaze wanders, his jaw tight, expression strained as he clearly works through this new information. I have to process it too, but given how distressing it is for him, he’s my priority, even above my feelings around this.
“Log,” I whisper, resting my hand on his shoulder.
I notice the water stirring in his eyes before his gaze locks with mine.
I see the sadness in the depths of his soul, a fresh wound his father inflicted, one that makes me hate both our fathers in an instant for hurting him.
Hard as it is for me to curse his dad and Old Terror, let’s just say it’s good they’re already dead.
His gaze settles on my lips, throwing me. This is not the response I’d expect right now, but he practically attacks me, his lips against mine as he shoves me against the door.
The moment our lips are mashed together, it’s easy to see why he did it. Because despite all this rage and fury in me, his kiss is a sedative, a promise of escaping the sting of betrayal.
“Make it stop,” he pleads into my mouth. “I can’t bear the pain. Make it go away.”
He’s begging for relief with such desperation that I know I’d do anything to ease his pain, making me more appreciative than ever of the time I’ve spent with him, learning how to set his body at ease.
I briefly wonder how long we’ll be left on our own, given that the nurse is supposed to return, but that doesn’t discourage me from unfastening his belt and fly, yanking them down. As I grip his cock, I feel how plump he’s already gotten, and it only takes a few more strokes before he’s a rock.
“Someone’s horny,” I growl.
He grunts again. “Take me now.”
It’s an order, and he spins around toward the wall, exposing his ass to me. I’ve no desire to make him wait, but a moment before pulling my pants down, I realize, “We don’t have any lube.”
He glances over his shoulder, his gaze full of desperation.
“Don’t worry. You know I don’t need that,” I say before spitting into my palm.
I ready myself with a few spits and then offer some against his hole.
Because I fully intend to give him exactly what he needs.
I line myself up, working the head in, and as I do, Logan pushes his ass back, groaning.
“Logan, careful.” I place my hands against his hips to keep him still.
“Fuck,” he says as his body tightens, his ass practically choking my cock.
I slide a hand around to his abs. “Take deep breaths,” I instruct my little falcon.
He whimpers, and despite how controlled I try to be, it only makes me swell within him.
“Goddammit,” he says.
“I’m pulling out. I don’t want to hurt you.”
He reaches back, his hand landing on my ass, clinging. “No, no. I need this. Please, this is the only thing distracting me from this unbearable pain inside.”
I’m torn between two versions of causing him pain, but knowing how excruciating the one in his heart must be, I choose to give him what he’s begging for. I keep my cock lodged within him. “Just breathe,” I whisper against his ear. “Breathe with me, Log.”
He obeys, his shallow breaths deepening. As his muscles relax, my cock slips farther into him, and his body quivers. I try to pull back, but he tugs at my ass, keeping me firmly within him.
He takes his time with his breaths, and soon enough, his body eases up again. He pulls me in, and again I think it might be too soon, but this time he doesn’t sound strained, no grunting, only a gentle moan as his body welcomes me to give him the peace he needs.
“There we go,” I tell him as my hips press up against his ass. “Just like that, Log.”
He practically hums his enthusiasm at our success. “Come on, Kill. Take me. Stain me.”
“You need to be patient.”
He shoots a dirty look over his shoulder before rocking his hips to slide me out slightly, then pushing back forcefully, demanding satisfaction regardless of whether or not I’m willing to give it.
His eyes roll back. “Does it seem like I can’t take it?
” he asks, pressing his hands against the wall and giving a few more thrusts to demonstrate how his ass has opened up for me.
It’s too inviting to resist, and I grab hold of his hips, greeting each of his movements, exploring the speed he can comfortably take, until he begins saying, “That’s it, Kill. Just like that. You know you need to mark your territory. Mark me. Claim me.”
His words are my addiction. “That’s what you want? To be stuffed full of my cum?”
“Yes.”
I speed up, and he calls out, his pleasure music to my ears as I move in a violent frenzy, leaving behind the nightmare he just experienced, totally dedicated to his pleasure.
I slide my hand down his torso, gliding it to his shaft, stroking him as I take his hole.
“Look at me,” I order, and he bends to my request. He must know what I want because his lips are on mine in no time, and I’m pummeling his ass so hard, he calls into my mouth.
I notice a familiar sensation, the way his body twitches.
“I love being able to tell when you’re close,” I whisper.
He whimpers. “I can’t… I’m almost…”
He can’t get the words out before his cock swells in my grip, and it’s too much for me—my climax is like thunder rocking through me, the cum exploding, painting his insides as I cry out, the sound only drowned as he locks lips with me, his tongue dancing wildly with mine.
His cock pulses, cum getting on my hand as I continue pumping it out, trying to rid him of all the anxiety that built up to create this moment.
I hear the door open and shout, “Out!”
I don’t even have to look over before hearing it close again, giving us the privacy I want in this precious moment.
I bury my cock inside my Logan, trying to get my seed as far inside him as I can manage, wanting to stain every inch of him inside and out.
And the way his hand grips my ass, it’s clear that’s what he wants too.
My arms tighten around him, and I’m clinging to this moment the way he clings to my ass, afraid if I release him, he’ll come to his senses and realize this is a horrible idea.
But he just whispers, “Thank you, thank you,” in a quiet voice that exposes how vulnerable he is. And I’m simply happy I could help distract him from the pain, if only for a few delicious moments.