34. Sloane
Sloane
T he silence in the penthouse is eerie.
Sure, having my own bathroom with an actual tub is nice.
As is the freedom to pull off my bra when I walk in the door.
But I guess I’ve gotten used to all the noise.
I miss the sound of the boys playing Legos after dinner.
And one of my favorite parts of the day is settling on the couch with Lo, me with a cup of tea and her with a glass of red wine.
Also, Ping-Pong has become strangely entertaining.
Mostly because Cal can’t resist hitting Sully in the head with the ball repeatedly.
As chaotic as the small apartment is, I miss it more than I imagined I could. Even if I’m only away for tonight.
All day, I warred with myself over whether I should stay here or go home. My heart urged me to go home, but I needed the peace the penthouse offers so I could study up on the three new cases Will Sr. had given me.
Before filing for divorce, that’s what I did at Murphy and Machon. Easing into estate law after maternity leave was simple since the work was mostly handled outside of court. I could do it after T.J. went to bed so long as Sully could manage T.J. when I had to meet with clients.
Truthfully, Lo was the one to watch him because Sully’s career was always more important. He had more going on. He was a partner. He had court.
To a degree, I understood. Even if I hadn’t, there was no changing Sully’s ways.
At least the old Sully’s. The new Sully? He’s surprised me with his patience and care and thoughtfulness every day. He’s surprised me by putting me and our son before his work time and again.
And for the time being, T.J. is in school, giving Sully and me equal opportunity to invest in our careers. We’ll have to figure something out after Tia is born, though.
Rubbing my belly, I lie back in bed and talk to our girl. I can’t wait to meet her. Can’t wait to see what she looks like. Who she looks like.
After a moment, I force myself to focus again on the computer screen in front of me.
Or I try to. It’s late, and the words are all blurring together.
I’ve been working for far too long, but every time I remember how eager Mr. Higgins was to move me to trust law, a zing of energy courses through me, giving me the motivation I need to make it a little farther.
Just as that boost of energy begins to wane, my stomach flutters and I freeze.
Chin tipped, I stare at my rounded belly and will her to do it again.
Tia’s been very lazy, unlike her brother, who I could feel doing gymnastics in there at fifteen weeks.
Maybe that means she’ll be a more laid-back child.
God, one could wish.
When that magical bubbly dance reappears, I splay my hand over my stomach and drop my head back, laughing. God, that feels good. I’ve spent most of this pregnancy worrying about what could go wrong. Yet this moment feels nothing but right.
I pick up my phone, wishing I were home so I could share this moment with Sully.
Home . Did I really just call the apartment in Jersey home?
My heart stumbles a little at the thought .
And even more so when I realize the answer. Home is wherever Sully and T.J. are. And right now, they’re in Jersey.
Me: Hey, call me after you get T.J. to bed. I just felt Tia move…and I miss you.
The dots don’t even dance on the screen before a message appears.
Sully: On my way.
Me: Sully, it’s late. It would be silly to drive all this way. I’ll see you tomorrow. I was just missing you and wanted you to know it.
I’ve barely set the phone down when there’s a knock on the door.
What the hell?
I set the computer on the bed and pad to the entryway, and I’m only a little surprised when Sully’s face greets me on the other side of the peephole.
I throw the door open quickly, excitement coursing through me.
In a sweater and a pair of jeans, he looks utterly delicious.
But it’s the smile on his face that makes my stomach flip.
“Has she done it again?” he asks as he sets a brown bag on the table in the foyer.
“Not yet, but what are you doing here?” I ask as he wraps his arms around me.
The feel of him pressed up against me sends emotions flooding my system. The smell of him, the hardness of his chest, and the comforting warmth emanating from him pummel into me, overwhelming me in the best of ways.
He dips his head into my shoulder and breathes me in. With a kiss to my neck, he murmurs, “I missed you too much.”
I peek up at him. “T.J.?”
“Was excited for spaghetti night with Cal. They put butcher paper down on the table and dropped the spaghetti and sauce and meatballs directly onto it. They were eating with their hands when I left.” He scowls.
Laughter bubbles out of me. “Oh my god, that must have driven you crazy.”
He chuckles. “Yes, sweetheart.” With one arm still banded around me, he snags the paper bag and leads me inside.
“No wonder you came to the city for dinner.” I chance a glance at him quickly to see his reaction, because something tells me that wasn’t what he was doing.
He rolls his eyes. “Right. No wonder.”
“So whatcha got there?” I ask, pointing to the bag.
He gives me a sexy as hell smirk. “Cheesecake from Paulo’s.”
Mouth watering, I reach for the bag. “Seriously?”
He laughs. “Kitchen or bed?”
“Totally eating in bed.”
“I’ll grab the utensils. You go pick a movie,” he tells me, heading for the kitchen.
I practically skip into our bedroom, grinning like a fool, only to pull up short at the sight of my computer.
With only a second’s hesitation, I shut it and move it to the nightstand. My excitement over Sully’s surprise far eclipses any excitement I had over the new job.
When Sully walks in, I’m cozy under the covers, propped up by a mountain of pillows, with the to-go container set between our spots.
“What did you pick?” Sully eyes the TV with an easy expression.
He doesn’t care what I put on. He rarely stays awake for an entire movie. If he’s not planning to stay in the city tonight, he’ll have to, I guess, but my goal, I’ve already decided, is to lure him into spending the night here.
“ Top Gun ,” I tell him.
He grins. “Your favorite.”
I shake my head. It’s not, but I’ve never admitted to the lie. Years ago, he and Brian watched it all the time, and since I just wanted to hang out with him, I told them it was my favorite .
Not only was I desperate for time with him, even before we were dating, but anything was better than sitting in my apartment by myself.
I grew up in a quiet home where my parents emphasized studying over friendships.
In law school, most people I met were the same way, but Sully was more relaxed, and over time, he convinced Brian to let up a little too.
Rather than studying at the library, they would invite me back to their apartment, where we’d break up study sessions with drinks and movies and joking around.
We still aced exams because Brian and I were overachievers, and despite Sully’s skate-by mentality, he was really freaking sharp.
I smile at the memory. We used to have so much fun.
During our first few years at the firm, we’d work hard and party even harder at night.
What we were doing now didn’t resemble that kind of partying, but we’d reverted back to that in a way now that we were all in Jersey.
Our nights were full of Ping-Pong tournaments and dance parties and anything else ridiculous Cal came up with.
And the rest of the crew still worked hard together all day before drifting upstairs for the night.
My stomach twists a little at the thought.
Though I love our evenings, I’m missing out on all that time with them during the workday now that I’m stuck working for Will.
Ugh.
Sully steps up to the edge of the bed, his eyes narrowed on me. “What’s wrong? Is the smell of the cheesecake bothering you?”
Slumping, I shake my head. “No. It smells delicious.”
“Then why the frowny-upside-downy?” He waggles his brows.
I snort out a laugh. “Did you just do a Cal-ism?”
“I’ll do anything to make you smile.” He hands me a spoon and then settles beside me. “Now tell me what the frown was about.”
I’ve been hesitant to tell Sully about Will’s ultimatum, afraid I’d let his opinions cloud my decision. But I realize now I should have been honest from the beginning. I promised I’d talk to him, yet I’ve been keeping things bottled up again.
So I tell him everything. How Will tricked me into a date. How he basically blackmailed me, hinting at my job being in jeopardy if I didn’t date him. And how, when I finally told him I wasn’t interested, he gave me an impossible assignment, knowing I’d fail.
“I’ll kill him,” Sully grits out when I go quiet. Despite how red in the face he is, not once did he interrupt me or lash out while I explained.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
He rolls his teeth over his bottom lip, his gaze darting away. “Is it because you were considering it?” he finally asks, his voice low.
My heart cracks in two at the uncertainty there. As tears prick at the backs of my eyes, I pull his hand into my lap and shift so I’m facing him completely. With my other hand on his cheek, I duck, waiting for him to look at me. “Not even for a second.”
Sully leans into my touch, his eyes closing.
“You have to know there’s only ever been you when it comes to my heart.
” I press his hand to my chest so he can feel the rhythm that only he’s ever inspired.
It’s a few beats faster than resting because I’m always more excitable around him.
Sometimes because he’s pissing me off, but more often, it’s because he’s sweeping me off my feet.
He searches my face, his eyes bouncing between mine, like he’s looking for the lie.
He won’t find one. I just smile at him. “After I told him I wasn’t interested, I went to speak to his father, and get this—my mother was the one who got me the job, not Will.”
Sully blows out a breath, and when he shakes his head, I drop my hand from his cheek. “Why?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. She wasn’t happy when she found out about the divorce. My guess is she figured I’d need a job.”
Sully’s jaw ticks, but he doesn’t respond.
He and I will never see eye to eye on that subject.
Maybe he would have been happy to bankroll my entire life, even after we divorced, but I never would have been okay accepting his money.
I worked hard for my law degree, and whether we separated or not, I wanted my career. It was time I found myself again.
“Will Sr. offered me a position in trusts and estates. That’s why I stayed in the city tonight. I want to brush up on the cases he assigned me. I’m anxious to start on them and be done with Will for good.”
Rather than the relief I expect to see on Sully’s face, there’s nothing but anger.
“They can’t take you out of litigation,” he says, his tone low and rough, “just because his slimy kid didn’t get what he wants.”
I grasp his wrist and smooth my thumb over the inside of it. “I love trusts. It’s actually what I like handling the most. I think the idea of litigating was exciting because it was badass. My whole life, that’s what I’ve been told real lawyers do.”
My mother’s voice and opinions have always been loud in my head, but over the years, I’ve discovered that I can’t dedicate my life to making others happy. I need to make myself happy first. Fill my own cup and all that.
Sully scoffs. “Sloane, you’ve always been incredible. My father always sang your praises when it came to our trusts and estates.”
I let out a long breath. “My mother had me so convinced that the whole lot of you were mommy tracking me, and I let it get into my head. I resented you for it.”
Sully’s eyes go wide. “What?” Now he’s the one grasping my hands.
“We knew you were incredible with those clients. And your brain, sweetheart? The things you’d come up with?
Brilliant. Brian may be good at estates, but he’s nothing like you when it comes to creating relationships with the clients. You and Cal were our front line.”
I bite my lip and pick at the comforter. Sully has never said any of this before. I never realized how much they appreciated my work. “Really?”
He nods. “Really.”
Feeling more grounded in my decision, I nod. “I’m excited to do it again. Excited for a position that I think will be a better fit than litigation.”
“I’m happy if you’re happy,” he says, his eyes roving over me.
“Know what would make me really happy right now? ”
He breaks into a cheeky grin. “Eating your cheesecake?”
“No.”
“Definitely that. But also, will you stay with me tonight? Watch this movie with me? Hold me? Just be with me?”
Sully’s face lights up. “Nothing would make me happier, sweetheart.”
“I think there’s a pair of your sweats in the drawer.” I tilt to one side and roll myself to my feet in the most unsexy of ways. Crouching, I pull the sweats from the drawer, and just as I stand, Tia does another little dance. “Sully!”
He’s at my side in the space of a heartbeat. “What’s wrong?”
I snag his hand and guide it to the side of my belly where she’s moving. “There’s our girl.”
Dropping to his knees, Sully lifts my shirt and cradles my belly with both hands, before pressing his mouth to my skin. “Hello, love. It’s your daddy.”
When she moves again, he lets out a delighted chuckle and his eyes find mine. They shine with hope and so much love. God, is there a lot of love. And in that moment, I know that I don’t just have a crush on my husband. It’s official: I’m full-blown in love with him.